• Published 21st May 2014
  • 517 Views, 9 Comments

human pub of equestria - wolfman93



a special pub built in between demensions revolving around equestria and has became the best place for all humans who came to equestria. follow through as several humans from different worlds tell their stories on their life in equestria.

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prolouge: first customers raymond & lachlan


It seemed as life stood almost still as rain pour down from the streets of a small part of a large city. Rain poured endlessly as not even a soul was out walking about. The shear coldness was almost too unbearable to stand even a second in the middle of the rain. Lights blinked several times as though the coldness wanted to shatter the bulbs inside. Windows too looked like they were about to give in as the shear cold covered them all in a blanket of white air. Anything that was left outside, trash cans, bikes, small pottery or even a few tools and other knickknacks felt the shear pelt of the rain as it drenched them all in its icy water.

For a while it seemed as no life was present on this cold rainy night. That would be the case however two figures managed to walk through the streets. One figure was large covered in a large black shroud coat. The hood kept the face covered and more surprisingly whoever was in it never made a splash on the ground. The other figure covered in a large jacket with a hood walked beside the other towards only Celestia knows.

Several minutes of walking through what seemed like an endless road finally came to a stop. They stopped in what appears to be a large alley way. The black shroud figure slowly turns and hovered the way through, the other followed. They continued on for a few seconds before stopping at what appears to be a door. The door on the outside had small lighting and some music could be heard from inside.

The coat figure stares at the door and looked up at the one who led them there. “Why here” he asked curiously.

The figure in black turned its head and smiled from within the hood. “Because wolf said it would help get your mind off things. Help you relax a bit from all the crazy that’s happening at home.” A female voice said from within the black coat.

She then turns around and heads towards the exit. Before going further she turns around and smiles, her beautiful yellow and red eyes shinned as she gave a small toothy grin. “Have fun” she chuckles before snapping her fingers and disappearing.

The hooded figure stares at where she disappears for a few seconds before looking up. The building he was looking up had no sign, few lights and only a few trash cans, although inside it sounded different. Seeing as though going is useless since he didn’t know where he was he simply reached out and turns the handle slowly.

“I swear if it’s a sex shop then she’s so going to get a boot up her butt when I get home.” He sighs before turning the handle all the way and opening the door. Inside lead downs a hallway through a large curtain. Taking another breath and letting it out he closed the door behind him and walked through.

Walking through the hallway he pushes through the curtains and looked inside. The inside is what surprises him the most. Several lights were scattered around as several booths were at the far end of the wall and more lined up at the ends covering the front, left and parts of the back with booths. The middle had a few well cared tables and chairs and on the right had a large pub table with several stools lined in front of it. One was already occupied however he could tell who it was but then again he was too tired to even notice closely

In front laid a regular grey and white stallion wearing a well stylish brown and white clothing and a shot glass emblem. The stallion was drying off one of his shot glasses before seeing the hooded figure. With a smile he waves and beckons him to walk over. Walking up to the front counter the stallion put the shot and looked at the hooded figure.

“Hello sir what can I get you” he said in an old but seemly gentle tone. The hooded figure scans through the various bottle of alcohol before taking off his hood and smiling. His brown colored eyes shinned as looked through more of the bottles. His needle like hair almost touched his eyes from the hood. Wiping his eyes he pointed out one of the whiskey bottles and pulled out several bits.

“ Jack Daniels please” he asked sliding the bits forward. The bartender look at the bits and counted them with a nod he reach down and pulled out a glass and begin filling it up with ice. He then grabs the bottle of whiskey and pours a drink for the human.

The human sits down on one of the stools as he set both the drink and the bottle down for him. Taking off his coat the human grabbed the drink and gulped it down in one go. After so long of drinking cider he wanted to taste something original again for so long.

Sighing in relief as the warm yet coolness slithered down his throat. “ahhhhh. Man” he groan as the drink he needed for as long as he can remember. He begins to pour another drink. “Life in Equestria can suck so much” he raised the drink up but stopped.

“Tell me about it” another voice said on his right side. The human stops and turns his head towards the direction of that voice. The next sight shocks him a lot that he dropped his drink. There sitting a stool from him was another human however this one was dressed in a royal garment a blend of black, blue and silver. His hair was a black and accompanied the five o-cloak shadow on his chin. Dark rings easily seen around his eyes were a clear indignation of lack of sleep. He knew this because they were the same as his.

Both of you stare, a shot glass in his right hand as though he was about to drown it before speaking. The two continued to stare for a few seconds before letting out a big sigh and slumping onto the counter.

“Why does god hate us so much” they both groaned at the same time.

*several minutes later*

“So I take it you’ve been living in equestria for a while now” the man in the coat as he took another shot of whiskey. He looked at the man in royal clothing to see he was drinking a few shots of vodka. The bottle layed next to him as he downed another glass into his throat. Sighing a bit he looked at the coat man.

“Yeah I have. And let me tell you it’s be hell these past years.” He said sighing almost in exhaustion.

“I can agree” the man in the coat started to take it off revealing his polo work shirt that he forgot to change before leaving to the bar.
The man in the royal garments looked at him and raised an eyebrow at the logo on his left side. He hasn’t seen it much since his time in poniville but he recognizes it to be aloe and lotus cutie mark.

“The hell.” He said surprise. Since he never heard of a human let alone a male working at the spa before. Last time he remembers all of the staff were mares.

The other looked at him with confused look. “What’s with you” he said questionably.

The royal man shook his head before speaking. “It’s nothing. It’s just…. I haven’t nor heard of a human working at aloe and lotus’s spa before. I usually thought mares work at a spa”

The coat man seemed a little offended though since he has been made fun of for being a guy and working in a spa which lately has been getting really old for him. “Oh really says the guy who wears so much bling he looks like a dark version of blueblood.” That comment made him shudder at the thought of him comparing himself with that spoiled sleazy asshole blueblood really made his blood boiled and a sickly feeling in his stomach.

They kept silence as both drank another glass of their alcohol. Several seconds went by before the royal man finally spoke. “Sorry I should have said that.” He said

“No I’m sorry. I should never compare you to that asshole blueblood” he other said with a bit of guilt in his tone. He felt horrible after that comment since he never compares anyone no matter what with blueblood.

Silence swept between them before one finally spoke. “Although we do share something similar to each other” the royal man said with a smirk.

“Oh and what’s that”

“Blueblood is an f@#ken asshole” they sat silence before both burst in laughter at how right they were.

The laughed for a few more minutes before calming down. The man in the royal garments turned his hand and reached out for a hand shake.

“Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Lachlan.” He said waiting for a hand shake.

The other reached out and grabbed his hand. “Raymond. But my friends call me ray” he said shaking his hand.

Both of them downed another glass and sighed as the clear liquid started to drain their problems away. Ray let out a sighed as the sweet taste of whiskey tasted his buds after such a long time. He always loves the taste of whiskey however when he came to equestria the only alcohol he could drink was cider which wasn’t bad however he missed the taste.

“So how long have you been in equestria. And what did you mean you haven’t heard of another human working with aloe and lotus.” Come to think of it he thought he was the only human in equestria since the last humans became fossils a long time ago.

Lachlan poured another glass before he answered ray’s question. “Well I’ve been living in equestria for god knows how long and I recall that aloe and lotus had a third sister or cousin for that matter that works with them at the spa. No humans were ever announced from where I’m from” he brought the glass to his lips and drank it in one gulp.

“That’s because both of you are from different universes” the bar stallion said jumping into the conversation.

Both Lachlan and ray stood there with confused look as they stared at the old stallion from behind the bar. He had a small smirk on his face as grabbed one of the glasses and started to dry it with a clean rag.

“By the look at your faces I thought you two would know that you’re not from the same equestria.” He stops and puts his hand on his belt the glass he closely examines it. “You see you both are from different universes with the same ponies. You both as I can tell have a lot to tell for one another since neither of you have ever met each other before huh” he smirk as he gain a nod from both humans.

“But wait if we’re from different universes. How are we here.” Lachlan said confused at what the old stallion just said.

The old stallion chuckled a bit as he looked at both humans. “The reason you’re here is because this pub is not any ordinary pub. In fact this pub is actually made for you humans who travel to equestria. This place may not look like it but many times it’s filled with a lot of humans from thousands of dimensions all come for a drink and a good time. How it was created I’m not sure. But for what I do know is that you’re in between dimensions of your guys worlds”

‘Okay I’m stumped now’ ray said as he looked at the strange stallion in a confused look. Never in his life has he ever heard something as crazy as this. Different dimensions, worm hole jumping, etc. this wasn’t the field he study in. “okay old timer I’m more of the field of medicine then the field of astrology so you have to be more pacific then that.” He said scratching his head.

The old stallion let out a hearty chuckle as he finished one of the glasses and work on the second one. “All I can say is for you two is that this place is the perfect place to unwind from all the crazy out there in the world.”

Both Lachlan and ray sighed and rubbed their heads as those words were true. The bar pony chuckled before asking the question. The one question that always leads to trouble. “So out of both of you who has to hardest life from both of you”

Both humans looked and then each other. “Well it must be fairly obvious that the one with the hardest life is obviously me” Lachlan said drinking his glass down.

Ray looked at him with a raised eyebrow at his comment on having the worst day. “Dude hell no. I have the toughest life in equestria”

Lachlan then turns towards ray, the sound of the squeaking of the chair echoed as he looked at ray with a disgruntled look. “Oh so you say you have a hard life in equestria” he said questionably. The alcohol was taking effect as ray soon joined in.

“I don’t think I know I have the hardest life compare to you so call royal Lachlan.” He said with a bit of anger in his tone.

Lachlan wasn’t going to stand hearing this other human talk him down as though he went through hell more than he. He knew all he has been through and felt every single ounce of pain throughout his years of being in equestria with his lovers. A part of him wanted to smack some sense into this human but the other wanted to know what life he went through as well on his side.

“Alright then Raymond.” He said leaning down towards him. The stench of the alcohol still lingered in his breath as he stared at him with an annoyed look. “Prove it then”

Author's Note:

before you read i'm sorry this was short since well this is my first time writing with another author so i'm pretty much not fully know how. so please don't hate me if it's short. and without ado enjoy the story.
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this crossover story is suppose to be like the story 'shocking but true tales of the brass pony pub' which instead of stallions the humans tell of their crazy life's in equestria. i'm still new to it so please leave hate comments out


raymond- belongs to me and is from (special spa treatment:human edition)

lachlan- belongs to the awesome distorted flare (scent lust of mares and scent love of mares)

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