but wasn't that part with the fuckin lasers cool tho
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About a month before the Season 4 finale, Applejack challenges Discord to a day of doing physical work around the farm. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
This whole thing started as a silly little RP me and my good chum Castoro Chiaro started one day, which slowly grew into a rather massive story. She wrote all of Discord's parts, and I took control of Applejack. I hope you all like it!
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An idea I've loosely considered as well. I haven't read it yet, but here. Have a few more groups and it's going in my read later pile. Hopefully I'll get to it soon. I really like this premise!
4415657 Well, thank you muchly for addin' it to those other groups! I hope ya like it whenever ya get to readin' it.
Actually, the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 was able to pick up the apples from the trees and produce high quality cider to a far faster and greater degree than all of AJ´s family together. She needed to bend the rules and recruit all Ponyville as "honorary Apples" to defeat the machine.
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All Ponyville? She only recruited the other Mane 6. She also didn't bend the rules because Twi asked Mayor Mare if it counted, and the Flim Flam Brothers told her to go for it.
Can't help but think a really tall guy with an enormously flexible body and opposable thumbs would be much better suited for picking apples if the job is "use manual labor to get these apples out of the tree". Or else winding his body around the tree and shaking it. He's right, he's totally not built for apple bucking, but even without his magic he's actually got a lot of physical abilities ponies don't have.
4419717 You'll just hafta see what happens next chapter
Discord? Bucking? Apples?
It's gonna be good!
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Well when you think about it, it's the Flim-Flam Brothers' fault that they lost, because they got so cocky that they thought their machine processed cider faster, better and quicker that the hoof made cider made with hard work, care, and love. Most prefer home made over processed anyways, and they actually did lose the farm at first. To tell the truth, they probably would've got it back a different way, because the town probably wouldn't like it as much as the original cider, plus they didn't have an apple pie, apple fritter, etc, machine to make the other apple goods. They would've lost so fast, the apple family could buy their farm back in less than a year when the Flim-Flam Brothers would lose their business. Really, the hard work and care beats the fast and easy carelessness of a machine.
The apples would easily find a way. I don't even know why Granny Smith can't get her hip replaced or why they can't get brand new tools. They said they have family selling products all over Equestria. If they have that much family around the whole country making good profit, they should be rich as ever! Hell, even Filthy Rich buys their Zap Apple jam!
Great job on this. Very well done!
Now... now you've caught my interest!
Wow...... I don't have any words this is really good.
This is quite fun and the voices of the characters are pretty good.
You have some tense trouble here and there. As you're going for present tense, you need to keep it that way. In this chapter, the best example of tense trouble is: "Something in the back of her head is saying this is his attempt at actually trying to help her feel better, even though it was like he usually was. She looks up at him, pushing her hat back to wipe her brow with a fore hoof. Instead of ignoring him like usual, she feels bad enough about yelling at him that she decided to humor him. "Nah. That comes at the end of the day when all the work's done." Should be "even though it IS like he usually is." and "that she DECIDES to humor him." Present tense often ends with an "s". Quite often.
This is really good. Only thing I take issue with, except for the tense trouble in the first two chapters, is that AJ is too casual about the plow and her injury. While she has learned to take it easy more often, she is still very, very serious about her work and should be more worried about being out of commission, especially if they just broke an important tool that they kinda need to replace.
Also: "Around 2/3 of the apples fall into the baskets, and she has to buck it again to get the rest." No. No. Don't write numbers unless they are really big or precise. General rule, use letters whenever possible. So, here, use "two thirds". Numbers are for scientific papers, unless they are something that will be really, really long using letters, like "23513" or "1.532445".
Now, more chapters, and I hope this ends up with Discord fixing AJ and the plow with magic. While AJ might be against resorting to magic, she should be able to see the logic in having the friend who caused the problems with magic, fix it with magic.
Happy writing.
Discord sent her to the moon, didn't he?
SPACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What if this was an episode in season 5?
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Their cider wasn't high quality. It was just high quantity.
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Granny Smith liked it, and she is an expert. If the brothers had celebrated their victory with the first barrels produced rather than the ones made with spoiled apples, the episode may have got a sad ending.
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Exactly! The brothers would have won if they hadn't gotten forgetful and cocky. They just needed to remember to get rid of a few rows of barrels before they tried selling it. Only the cider made when they turned the quality control off sucked. Before then, they had quality cider.
Not that I wanted them to win, but you know...
Oh yeah, this will end well.
"Spirits are never late. Neither are they early. They arrive precisely when they mean to." Borrowing from the classics a bit, are we?
Not quite sure who to feel sorry for.
Well, I wonder where the story will go from here?
4430826 Even if he did, he would be close by so, much like Manhattan from The Watchmen, the normal rules of space wouldn't apply. Besides, Luna was there for a thousand years, she seemed to be fine (aside from the whole Nightmare Moon thing).
Hmm a place where no pony visits.... oh I know celestia bedroom at night!
This is so cute!
We MUST have more!!
Don't forget The Bringer of Confusion, the Jovial Jester, Maddest of the Mad Gods, Puppeteer of Ponies, Loki's third cousin twice removed, or my personal favorite, simply the King of Chaos.