• Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
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Alticron


T

Twilight Sparkle decides to create a new form of time travel that can be used more than once. The time has come for experimentation. Who knows what the consequences could be for this invention.


Proofread by Dark Dienen and D0CT0RWHOOVES.

Set before the season 4 finale and Rainbow Rocks.

This is my first story, so please leave constructive criticism and suggestions for future chapters.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 7 )

I'm glad to help you for all you have done for me :pinkiehappy:

4417197 You're very welcome. If was really fun editing your stories, and I'm glad that you can help me with mine.

Night Light later went to therapy, was declared insane, and never married. Ah time travel, how I totally can't take you seriously.

I set it up for multiple purposes such magical energy efficiency

Shouldn't it be "...such as magical...."

“Yeah yeah, but how would you get back to our time if something goes wrong?” Twilight walked up to Spike and gave him a comforting pat on the back.

“Don’t worry Spike. I’ve built the bracelet to act as a tether to bring me back to when I left to within one second. I can return manually, and I it’s set-up so that it would send me back if anything would imminently impact the wearer enough to cause serious injury, be it either magical or physical impact .”

How about:

“Yeah yeah, but how would you get back to our time if something goes wrong?”

Twilight walked up to her number one assistant and gave him a comforting pat on the back. “Don’t worry Spike. I’ve built the bracelet to act as a tether to bring me back to when I left to within one second. I can return manually, and I it’s set-up so that it would send me back if anything would imminently impact the wearer enough to cause serious injury, be it either magical or physical impact.

Your period needed small relocation at the end of the second sentence.

“Oh, a “Daddy’s girl”, huh?” Night Light leaned uncomfortably close to her ear and whispered, “I’ll be your daddy.” Before giving her a smirk and a wink.

Is this reference to TFS abridged series where Boma say to Trunk "I will be your mommy" ?

5584440 Thank you, I have fixed the errors you've pointed out. Also, yes, it is a reference to that scene in DBZ Abridged.

10781888
I just lost interest and I became the editor of A Pony Displaced before being more heavily involved in other stories connected to it.

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