A warm summer day in Ponyville is a day to relax. And that's just what Applejack is happy she can do for once in summer. But when she wakes up under an apple tree, she isn't alone. Both poines are incredibly embarrassed and shocked to see they weren't resting alone. When the alicorn who was laying next to Applejack leaves her without a word, Applejack is determined to just talk to her. Maybe Applejack liked it? Or maybe not. But the alicorn doesn't want to talk to Applejack at all, scared of what Applejack will say. But maybe the alicorn liked it as well? Or maybe not. But that's something Applejack is willing to find out, even if she may not be satisfied with the answer.
Chapters (1)
This story was so rushed that barely any personality made it through. Next time slow the hell down and write a longer story so that the reader can understand what the characters are feeling and where they're coming from.
5819703
Ah yes, I had a feeling someone would say something along those lines eventually.
Sadly, I tend to write a one-shot in one day, not a span of a few. I do really need to work on that.
But how bad was it?
5819721
Besides the rushed pacing of it, it wasn't bad so much as soulless.
5819728
Hm. Thanks for the input.
Throughout this story I had one question, why was Twilight sleeping right next to Applejack? A little back story for her please?
You've got the... outline of a story here, but not a story. Fill it out. Details. More meat. More feeling.
When reading this it feels like its missing key details, like what twilight was doing to wind up sleeping next to applejack or where aj's feelings for twi came from as theres no mention of it earlier in the story. It felt jarring.
Okay. I like the idea. It was a very nice idea. But this story was very rushed. So, good idea, fairly well written, but not nearly long enough for the story to actually take hold and develop. It just kinda, happened.
liked the idea a lot though 