Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria: ASDFMovie is Awesome!

by Fussan

Butch (Rainbow Dash)

Rainbow Dash was sitting patiently in the small room, sitting in the awkwardly shaped chairs that they had placed there for any patrons that would come through. The blue-white walls, the sterile smell of cleaners and disinfectants, the low buzzing hum of the lights above her, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the hollow echo of the pure nothingness around her; all of these things seeped into her mind, her very soul. These things made her wings ruffled, her eyes twitch, her skin crawl. The small amount of sweat running down her spine chilled her, making her muscles spasm and her bones itch. The droplets of salty sweat made her feel sticky, dirty, made her... uncomfortable. She was nervous. Nervous... and worried. Nervous... and worried... and... tense...

Rainbow Dash was sitting impatiently in the claustrophobic-panic-inducing tiny room, hyperventilating as she clutched her hoof over her heart in the painfully shaped chairs that made her back and flanks ache and always left them sore. She shot a wide-eyed glance at the clock on the wall, hoping against hope that she wasn't late for her appointment.

2:17

The exact same time she got when she checked last time. But that felt like hours ago! Was the clock broken?! Was she late and nopony told her?! Were they laughing at her for being a loser?! WHAT WAS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!

The clock ticked. It was now 2:18

Rainbow Dash let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in. The clock wasn't broken, she wasn't late, the doctor would still see her.

Rainbow Dash was sitting semi-patiently in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room of the Wonderbolts' personal clinic, waiting to be examined and get her physical so she could be registered to join the team whenever she finished her practice in the academy. If she qualified, all she had to do was keep up her hard work for the rest of the year and she'll officially be a Wonderbolt. Of course, she won't be flying right away; she still needed to prove herself worthy. (Though how they still didn't find her "worthy" was beyond her).

So she sat, alone with only her thoughts and the ticking of the clock. Well... not completely alone...

In the far corner of the room, barely noticeable in the shadows being cast, sat a lone colt reading a book. A rather large book, without a cover. His face was a strange mixture of anger and boredom, but there was an edge to it from how focused he was on his book.

With a small amount of embarrassment, Dash realized that he probably saw her minor freak out a few seconds ago. Also, she noticed, that for some reason having another pony so close to her, but not saying anything, was just a bit awkward.

She decided to ignore the awkward feeling and refocus her attention on the front desk, staring at the reflection of the room in the polarized glass used for the reception desk window. This lasted for about ten seconds before she had to blink and look away. Next was the clock. She stared at it, watching the small red pin tick in what seemed to be slow motion. After staring at it for exactly seven and one half seconds, she had to look away from the building anxiety it caused her. She tried the potted plant in the corner, but her eyes were constantly drawn to the colt and his book. Just what was it that he was reading? Was it Daring Do? Was it a comic? Dash's mind wondered about what he could be reading. It could be anything; a mystery, an adventure, an action series, a romance...
The clock ticked. It was 2:19.

Dash realized she was staring holes into the colt, but thankfully he either hadn't noticed her or didn't really care. She looked away with a quiet cough. Then she coughed again. Her throat was really dry, because she just kept on cough, louder and louder every time she did so. After what seemed like an hour of coughing... "If you're dying, can you please do it quietly?" growled the colt in an annoyed voice, clearly peeved that Dash was making a racket.

Rainbow Dash smiled inwardly, achieving her goal. She rose from her seat and made her way over to the colt and sat next to him. Up close, she could make out his features without the shadows hindering her. He had a dusty brown coat, a dark blue-ish mane with streaks of red running through it, and golden eyes. His mane and tail looked messy, like he had just gotten out of bed; the same could be said with his coat. He also had particularly large wings, for a colt, that is. However the most notable feature was the large chunk of his left ear that was missing.

Dash smiled at him, attempting to show some kind of friendliness towards the young colt.

He continued to read his book, completely ignoring her and her gesture of kindness.

Her smile faltered at this. "So, uh, busy day huh?" she said jokingly.

The colt ignored her still, preferring his book to her words.

She stopped smiling all together at this. "So... wha'cha reading?" she asked, trying to spark some kind of conversation up.

"A book," he said flatly, not even glancing at her as he spoke.

Dash frowned at him. "Well, duh. What else would you be reading?" She laughed at her own wit, looking to see if he would too.

He didn't.

With an inward groan, she asked, "What kind of book are you reading?"

"The good kind," he told her.

Her eye twitched in agitation. "It must be, for you to be ignoring me." She got no response from the colt. "What's the name of the book?" she tried.

The colt closed his eyes slowly, letting out a sigh through his nose. He sat there for a few seconds in silence before snapping the book shut and looking at Rainbow Dash. "The book is called Fifty Shades of Hay, since you have to know."

Dash looked at the colt oddly. "That sounds... familiar..." She tapped her chin with a hoof, the memory of where she heard that name before slowly coming to her. Then like a switch, it was there. Her face lit up a bright red as she stared wide-eyed at the young colt. "You can't be reading that! You're a colt!"

He simply rolled his eyes at her. "This book is kinda boring compared to some of the other ones I found in the library. But I figured the trilogy would keep me busy for a few days."

Rainbow glared at the book he held in his little hooves. "What dumb, irresponsible, sicko librarian would let you check that kind of book out?!" she fumed, her mind set on pummeling the idiot who gave a colt a book about that.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, the librarian that works in the Golden Oaks library in Ponyville," he said.

"Well, I'm going to have to go to Ponyville and teach this Twilight Sparkle a less--wait, did you say Twilight Sparkle?"

The colt nodded. "Yeah. She gives me all my books."

Rainbow Dash felt a mixture of anger, frustration, disappointment, calm, and more anger hit her all at once. Her friend, the princess of friendship, one of the most reputable ponies in Equestria, had been supplying a colt with porn. Good porn too, if she remembered correctly...

Deciding to abandon the idea of beating on her best friend, she changed the topic with no large amount of grace. "So... uh... why are... Why are you hear?" she asked him.

He rolled his eyes again and opened his book back up, picking up where he had left off. "To get a physical," he told her. "The Wonderbolts said I had potential, so I'm here."

With a small blush--the idea that he could be reading about sex and holding a conversation with her at the same time bothered her a little--she continued the conversation. "They did huh? So, what's your air speed record on the track?" she asked him, her mind wondering to her own record. "I have a pretty good one: eleven point sex--I mean six, uh... p- point six-seven seconds," she finished lamely, her blush spreading.

He didn't respond.

She cleared her throat. "I bet with wings like yours you have a pretty good one too. What is it? Twenty? Eighteen? C'mon, we're both pegasi, you can-"

"Fourteen point two seconds."

She blinked. Did... Did she hear him right? "Fourteen point two...?"

He only nodded once.

Her face went a little pale. Fourteen point two was an amazing score. Soarin had a score of twelve point nine-five, and he had been training for his whole life. "Fourteen point two," she repeated.

"Rainbow Dash?!"

The mentioned pegasus jumped from her chair with a start, a loud yelp escaping her mouth.

The colt didn't even blink.

Dash climbed off the chair, looking over her shoulder at the brown colt. For only a split second, she could have sworn she thought she saw him crack a dark grin at her. Then she was ushered inside the back hallways of the private clinic to be examined.

***

After a long and tedious (and mostly boring) process of being examined...

***

Rainbow Dash sat on the stiff, uncomfortable foldable bed, the weird paper stuff that was covering it crinkling and ruffling loudly, even when she thought she was remaining absolutely still. She had been sitting there for almost an hour before the doctor had shown up. "So, did I pass?" she asked with anxiousness clear in her voice.

The doctor didn't smile at her. In fact, he looked worried... almost... saddened...

Dash's face fell. "W- well? Did I pass? Am I fit to join the Wonderbolts? Am I okay?"

The doctor looked to the clipboard that her was carrying, staring at it for a long time with a pained expression on his face.

Dash's eyes went wide. "D- did I... fail...?" she whispered.

He looked up at her, opened his mouth... and closed it again. Once again, he looked back at the clipboard, mumbling something to himself and shaking his head. His eyes were wild and his mane was getting frazzled by him just standing there. Even his coat was beginning to stand on end.

"Doc," Dash croaked out, her voice thick, "Did I pass, or not?"

He slowly looked back up at her, his lower lip between his teeth. "Miss Dash... I..." He stopped, once again glancing at his clipboard before going on. "I... I think I have some bad news..."

Dash's eyes started to blur, her breathing becoming heavy. "What?" She couldn't trust her voice more than that.

He looked her straight in the eye. "Miss Dash, according to the tests we took... I think you might be a homosexual."

She blinked. "What?"

He only nodded sadly.

She frowned at him. "How... How can you even test for that?" she asked, annoyed.

He opened his mouth, and a tsunami of rainbow vomit flooded forth, spraying her in the face and covering her from head to hoof. All that could be heard was the heaving of the doctor and the word, "RAINBOWS!!!!!!"

Those two combined sounds were enough to mask the sound of screaming laughter coming from under the table.

Author's Note:

Ten points if you can guess who the colt was and why he was there.

Comments

[ButtonMash]

Can't guess the colt, but this is flippin hilarious!

[Mosqueefo]

4475312 the colt was the guy from the last gmod vs equestria story... That or it was button

[Fussan]

4476024 You're only 87.3% incorrect.

[TheHoleyCheese]

4476867 8.73 points to Gryffindor!

[ButtonMash]

4479504 XD

[thatguy45]

it was that or baby voice, so good job