• Member Since 16th May, 2012
  • offline last seen October 3rd

Loyal


Just a dude. Writes horsewords... with varying regularity.


Comments ( 505 )

Before I read, let me say one thing: WOO HOO!! SEQUEL!!!!

Should have gone with a sequel for a story that was actually good. "A Different Kind of Love" would have been a way better one of your stories for a follow up. Archmage is so thirsty.

ANDSOITBEGINS
Slightly concered with the sad tag tho :twilightoops:

Ok, I was very excited to see this. :pinkiehappy:
I read it... and I love it so far. :twilightsmile:

I was VERY surprised to find a few grammatical errors! :rainbowderp:
Very unusual. Normally, every chapter seems perfect. What happened? :rainbowhuh:

Overall. 10/10 I would enthusiastically recommend this as a new story for anyone who loves a good read to take a look at. :yay:

Commence read.

Another venture into Archmage.

Not bad. She reminds me of myself, and that is what you want. You want the reader to connect with the character.
Sounds like she might have a little Aspergers Syndrome (A [relatively low level] form of Autism) or AD/HD.

Well, I find this a nice read. Like I said before, it is nice that I can identify with Star. That makes this story all the more interesting.
Must ... HAVE... MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:
4406717 Fancy seeing you here.

4406943 IKR! I see we have similar taste in authors :twilightsmile:

4406955 It appears that way!
Also, IKR?

4406961 IKR = I know, right

Good start :twilightsmile: You've done well with Star, I like her already. Out of curiosity, is this far enough in Equestria's future that the Elements of Harmony have again become legend? I only ask because Star failed to mention anything about them (or Twilight being the bearer for the Element of Magic at least) Eagerly looking forward to more.

4406966 Ah. I'm still new to the whole "phrase abbreviation" thing. I just figured out that IMHO and IMO mean In My Humble/Honest Opinion and In My Opinion, respectively, last week!

4406978 lol I spend too much time on the net I guess

I can dig it.

4406976
Shhhhhhhhh

Thousands of years later and pony's are still reading Daring Do? Whoa. A.K. Yearling you have managed to do something few human authors have done outside religious texts.

Excellent, more Archmage. I do enjoy these stories and this looks to be a good start.

Also near the end, "I want to start mentoring more ponies, Star caster", it's a name, a proper noun should be capitalized.

"I want to start mentoring more ponies, Star caster."

Caster should be capitalized. It's part of her name.

Also, sequels, yay! Glad to see this 'verse continued, Loyal.

Good start, but that sad tag :fluttershysad:. Archmage had me bawling at points, be careful of my heart Loyal.

4406717

I was VERY surprised to find a few grammatical errors! :rainbowderp:

Loyal said he's doing this one without an editor, so no safety net here.

4407376
Those authors didn't have an immortal Princess as a fan/daughter.
(Before anyone brings up "Daring Don't", just don't. I refuse to acknowledge that as canon and instead choose to believe that was all a very severe fever dream of Dash's; they almost lost her that winter ... so sad)

Off to a great start, though I expected nothing less. :twilightsmile:

Star comes across as a klutzier version of pre-Elements Twilight; She may get more distracted than Twilight probably did, but I can see a bit of that same determination that kept Twi going.

I can't wait to see what's next!:yay:

I am just the tiniest fraction of a bit curious as to why there is a 'mature' tag.

My god the level of sheep you have Loyal my dear. You must show me sometime your way of attracting such mindless retards to a cause. I mean with this level of blind devotion you could take over a small island country.

Good start. I like Star Caster already, so excellent job with the characterisation so far.

4407929
If you have yet to read any of the Archmage story witch Twilight Sparkle becomes the Archmage then i suggest you read it could explain a few things Just a suggestion.

DIS GONNA B GUD

this is going to be good:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy::twilightsmile:

Here we go...

...loyal, you aren't going to break me again, are you?
Are you?

...please don't.

Me likey. Me want see more. :) In all seriousness, I really am looking forward to the next chapter. :)

...Don'tFuckingAddClopDon'tFuckingAddClop...

So are the events in this happending before/during/after "Archmage: Beyond the Crystal Mirror"?


PS It's currenly appearing in the "feature Box" 18/05/2014

Sequel :yay::pinkiehappy:.
Star Caster is a interesting, hope that we see a lot of her funny but not really harmful accidents.

One question comes to mind. Will we see spike in this?

4408157 If you could read you'd see that the story is already marked with mature and sex tags. Nobody is forcing you to read this.

4408157
you are alone, friend. Turn back now before I get around to it.
4408307
well after, by over three thousand years.
4408621
maaaaaaaaaaaaybe ;)

4408157 its like not adding rum to cola dude ?! whats wrong with you ?!:fluttercry:

4408921 Actually will it be Spike as we know him or will it be Chronos?

...She's adorable, and I like how she actually seems to have Fluttershy-length hair. I dunno why, but I always like it when characters have long hair :derpytongue2:

:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: A sequel to one of the first stories I have ever read on this sight?!?! Loyal I have to say I loved Archmage I really hope this one will be just as good, and if this first chapter is anything to go by I feel that it will be!:twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

4408921 My question is whether it will be pure clop, or more situational. They aren't just going to have sex to have sex ae they?

4409917
You've never read like, any of my other stories have you?
(Ignoring the Clop Bin and Hour of Power.)
I seldom write clop for the sake of writing clop.

4409956 Are you kidding? I have read every single one of your stories. What I am referring to is The Untold Chapters, with clop every chapter. I enjoy how you write it into your plot, even when you do it every chapter. What I am asking is if its going to be like the original Archmage ( with only two/three clop chapters) or like Lilly the Changeling level of clop.

4408983 I'd assume Chronos just because in through the crystal mirror he is which is roughly 2900 years before the setting of this story.

4410034
I plan on having the sex serve the story, not the other way around.

4410616 Cool! Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to talk to me.

Heres a mustache. :moustache:

Oh boy Loyal you're gonna do great things with this!

4410616

Woot! That's the best!!

Great Chapter By the way! :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile: Can't wait for the next one. Really enjoy the Archmage Saga/World.

At first I kept misreading 'Star Caster' as 'Star Chaser', now that I think about it, both names sound pretty cool but I guess the 2nd would fit more for one of Luna's students.

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