- Member Since 12th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Saturday
Noble Thought
I sometimes pretend I have a posting schedule other than "sometime soon."
Noble Thought
Joined 12th Nov, 2013 ·
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Dat description.
I feel I have no choice but to read to see how strange this can get.
4409816
That's actually quite a story on its own... It involves Alexander Pope and a dramatic misinterpretation of the title of a satirical mock-epic poem of his.
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It... It um. I'll let you read it.
Well this is a freaking must read!
This description is relavent to my interest. This ship is doubly relavent to my interests. This Rainbow Dash prank is triply relavent to my interests.
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keithkarabin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/triple-threat.jpg
Oh my. Teat sucking. I really need to read the rest of your stories. Very, very few authors mention that they do in fact have teats, which is fine! For you to take that risk! Comedy is awesome though, and... now I can't get these images out of my head. It's also canon to me that Twilight mewls during sex. You seem to agree. I like you, sir.
Twilight sounds so cute despite having all of this sexual experience. Stop reminding me why I love it when people write her so cute. And why I love this ship.
Sweaty races and... Yes. Rainbow sultry is a hot, hot voice. And this story is stupidly funny, clever, and well written. I love this. Stop proving why this is the best ship ever.
You're also one of the few authors I know who use tail movement at all. A scary amount of people forget that tails can be used to express emotion and wave in the wind. Stop being awesome. No. Don't. I want part two - ten of this.
Wow. You really went full out with teat play, didn't you? This is like a never in clop, and you are the first author who has done it and I have found to be extremely well done and damn arousing. And cute. Superb descriptions. Someone has a teat fetish! Or... just likes using the body period. Stop it. Stop getting me into more weird things.
I am totally rereading this story several times over. I really could learn from you and TittySparkles on how to expand my clop vocabulary. Well done! Top five of all time from me! And a very good, cute, funny, and adorable story period.
Hail Twi/Dash.
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Just... Wow. This is quite an endorsement! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and wrote such praise for it! Thank you! ... And a blog post?!
It's honestly more of this, really. I've never been a fan of focusing on only one or two parts of the body while only glossing over others. I like to think that they have an entire body that is there, that they have tried to explore and find their particular desires together, and only through their explorations can they really find what gets them going.
I was so nervous about this story, since it's my first attempt at clop. I've written sex before, yes, but not for a while now, and not as a story - MU*s only before this. I'm glad to see that I haven't lost my touch and that the skill isn't easily lost. My proofreaders deserve a healthy credit as well. Without them, it wouldn't be as finely crafted.
It's being planned. Sort of. This chapter was written almost entirely seat of the pants. I need to review it and see where the best place to start chapter 2 would be.
4410352 Top five clop story ever? Absolutely. There is, 'I need to maturbatw' clop, and then clop that captures you on an emotional level and sinks to a deeper part of your brain. This is clopomedy, which is my new favorite sub-genre of clop, and it's fucking fantastic. I'm not even sure I could clop to this it's so good, because it's so beautifully written, funny, and descriptive. That's a major compliment from me. Major. This isn't for my dick to spurt. This is mentally arousing. Although I very much turned on by this. You got me into teats now. Just cute little teats. Like Ponuts. Squish.
Seat of your pants. I see what you did there. I can't write clop without quality controlling it at least twice before general consumption. Not getting aroused to your own work feels... weird.
You need to have five hundred followers. It is a massive, massive crime I have so many more than you. I would switch follower count with you in a flash.
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That is a huge compliment! Wow. Like... The time Meeester favorited a story of mine was awesome, but this...
I am out of words. Have more Twi/Dash. 
Edit:
This makes me laugh every time I read it.
SQUEEEEEEESH! Santaclaus collage of Siberia.
This quote (and original story) was DEFINATELY brought to you by these gentlemen-
Painbow Slash III- Taste the rainbow mothafucka!
Pinkie Die- Cum one, Cum all!
Ytirar- Afraid to get DIRTY?
Applejackass- First come first serve, bitch!
Shutterfly- Fuck me, please
Princess Molestia- Hello, little British boy
Princess Luna-tic- YOULL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE MOON
Princess KKKadence- Hail the princess KKK, Her whiteness!
Princess Twilight "Mothafackin" Sparkle- Go read the story again.
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I am so confused right now.
4410565 I fucking love ponut. My ex got me into ponut over several months, and I have never looked back. Human anatomy on a pony looks weird to me now. Not that I want hyper realistic anatomy, but squishy ponut? Yes. Cocks and dildos and horns go into the Ponuts. Puffy, plush, pulsating ponut.
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Learned something new today. I did not know what ponut was. I am educated now.
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Roll with it
I'd call this a hit! Congratulations, Noble Thought. Praise well earned from KiltedKey.
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Thank you Minds Eye! You helped make it so, you wonderful proofreader you. Thank you again for helping me get this right.
4411377 Lawl. If you consider me better than him you are a silly person. I wrote pony clop and comedy. This guy has the talent to take my niche throne. I happily vacate it to him.
Because Twilight mare teats. Damn. I have a new fetish I will never write about.
I see ice play with Rainbow sucking them in the future.
And remember: Ponut. Twilight had magic. Rainbow has a cerulean ponut. Take it.
I also noticed absolutely no Lavender Unicorn Syndrome in this. I am proud.
Also: Submit this to Equestria After Dark. You'll totally get on it no problems.
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Submitted! Thank you for the advice!
Just saw this in the popular box.
Definitely a hit!
4412244
Yep! It's been in the pop box for a few hours. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get a feature this chapter. Maybe next chapter. I remain eternally hopeful of one day being in the pretty box.
4412255 if you out out chapter two tomorrow. Have to do it quickly.
4412283
Probably not going to happen tomorrow, honestly. I still need to write it. I've got a basic script outlined, but that's only a guideline. This chapter was written in about a cumulative 8 hours. The editing took about 12-24 noncumulative hours. And I have work tomorrow, too.
I'll work on outlining the next few chapters there on my tablet, probably, if a Sad/Romance AppleShy fic doesn't call my attention, or a Trixie Spoon semi-adventure. The majority of my writing happens at home, though.
this sounds like fun lol....
4417188
It was fun to write, that's for sure. And some people think it's pretty good.
This was very well done. The descriptions are fluid and have just enough detail that a vivid mental picture can be created without going overboard into too verbose. The interspersing of comedy throughout was great, moving through the erotic scene and giving a smile and a chuckle every step of the way. Comedy can tend to work against an erotic scene, but you were able to give just enough for a smile, and then quickly reimmerse the reader in the scene. That's definitely not an easy thing to do, but you pulled it off with aplomb.
I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.
4419055
To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to where I take this next as well. All I have are some vague ideas. This started out as a one-shot (inspired by a misreading of the title of a poem, no less,) but halfway through writing the second little bit of character/world-building, I realized there was so much more to tell about the couple, and so much I want to explore about their relationship.
I do know what the next couple of scenes entail, but beyond that, I only have a few key tidbits that I want to expand on, some foreshadowing hinted at either vaguely or bluntly in the main part of the story.
I do also know where this story will end, so I have that.
Thank you for taking the time to say what you enjoyed about the story thus far. It really means a lot when readers go into detail about what they enjoyed - or did not enjoy, as the case may be. It really helps me to see things that I maybe didn't see before.
So, thanks again! See you next chapter!
Second chapter's out, woo-hoo!
4442881 You have the CUTEST avatar EVARR!!
4443551
>inb4 asian joke comes in
I'm going to read this in my hotel room tonight.
With the sheets over me.
Both chapters.
I love you.
4444720
Let me know what you thought of how I got Rainbow's perspective. I was honestly a little nervous about capturing her since, other than Rarity, she's the Mane 6 pony I am least like. Well... Other than Pinkie. I suppose I've got a dash of Dashie in me.
Also my first real attempt at interplay banter between the two over longer than a few paragraphs. And my first drunk Twilight. A lot of firsts in this story, to be honest.
4444739 Well while I relate extensively to Rainbow/read too much pony about her/RP as her, I'm bais in my view, but sure, why not. Least I can do!
4444782
Every bit of perspective I can gain from another writer who's done more with that character can only help me in the future. Probably not for this story, since I'll be going pretty much straight with the characterization I've started, but for future stories, the understanding of the character will definitely help me put across a more compelling Rainbow Dash.
That was both adorable and steamy.
4444833
Mission accomplished! Yay!
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With flying colors no less!
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What you did there. I see it.
Sexy D'awww is now a thing that I have achieved.
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Huzzah for achievements!
quickmeme.com/img/88/88e5cb516ac42725bff48af34cb6bf85c2bf031b7c91f85a986419e867d4a27d.jpg
4442881
And the third chapter is starting to be sketched out! Back to our adorkable Twilight next chapter.
Twilight glare is best glare.
God damn it and your teat fetish! When did you get into them yourself? You really are the only author that I know who uses them, and truly, you need to be commended on that. It's adorable and kinky.
I think my only problem so far with chapter two is a bit too much Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. I myself used to have a lot of this, and it doesn't affect me too much, but sometimes going through the sentence and realizing who her mare was can throw you off a bit.
She let out a stuttering breath, but continued, "The feeling-" <- period after the continued
Rainbow kissed her cheek and smiled, "I know. <- same here.
So far so good, although Rainbow calling Twilight her lover is a bit off for me in the context you use. "Come on, lover." Just doesn't settle on the tongue right. She's my lover might work, but Rainbow saying that as a nickname is... off. Love doesn't work well to me either, but it's better. I'm ultra bias toward awesomeness. Rainbow loves awesome. For her to call you awesomeness is a major sign of affection. I'm weird. Even romantically. Lover mare really throws me off. Even for a romantically deep Rainbow. I'm trying to think of a replacement right now, but I'm so fucking tired.
Fuck yeah twilight pus discharge smells awesome. People - virgins really - don't realize sex smells. And it smells awesome.
Pressing your muzzle into Twilight's crotch is usually a good idea.
Fuck, man. You tease worse in your stories than I do. That physical and emotional teasing that ruffles my jimmies. Hnnngh. God. Damn. You deserve triple the followers that you have.
Stupid sexy twilight, and of course Rainbow's a pervert. Duh. Twilight is such a seductive little purple pucker. And the arched rump? Hnnngh...
There we go! Babe! Totally a Rainbow lover nickname. Love it. And so is sparkle butt. That works wonders too. And dat tail lifting. And the hind hoof stamp!? Fuck! Damn it, man! You just... you strike a chord! Stop reinforcing my favorite ship! This is going in my top ten favorite stories of all time. My front page. I can't take it any more! Your descriptions for everything should be the envy of so many writers out there. You ooze a vocabulary that is frightful. Why do I have so many followers when you are such an incredible writer? Jesus! Fuck this is amazing. You are amazing. I am not high right now.
And the tail movement! So few authors do that. But you do! God. You are my clop idol now. Twilight has a seductively hot tail. I love tail play. Loyal loves tail play. You should talk to him about it. I'm so forwarding this to him.
Yeeeees. Lots of mare juices. Messy mare crotch is best crotch. Why do I even bother writing clop when you are so good at it? I need to study this story. Read it several times over to add to my own vocabulary.
Yeeeeeeeessss! Mewl! Yeeeees! And purring!? Gaaaaaah!
I think my only problem is that you glaze over the length of orgasms quickly. Describe them! Embrace them! You go into detail so much about everything. Why stop with the mare orgasm?
11.11/10. Can't clop to it: It's too beautiful to read.
4447861
Fixed the comma issues. I really need to go back and read my copy of Strunk and White again.
and
are very closely linked. I like the foreplay as much as the orgasm, perhaps a little more so. Certainly, the orgasm is the most intense part of the sex, but without the foreplay, it just doesn't feel as meaningful. It's all about how much the characters are working towards that goal and it just feels like if I'd played up the orgasm more than I did, that it would have cheapened the foreplay somewhat. I'm not even certain that makes sense outside my own head.
Edit: I will give it some serious thought though... On another read through, it does feel very truncated.
Essentially, the entire chapter from when Twilight recovers from her headrush to her climax was foreplay for her. The rest of the chapter was story, and building up for the next chapter when we re-enter Twilight's head. And take a shower.
I will take a look at the LUS issue too... I'm not as experienced with multiple-party interactions on page. Single or multiple person introspection, fine, multiple-person fast action, not so good. I need to work on that.
Flatterer.
I'm not sure I'm so much myself into them as Twilight and Rainbow Dash are. Rainbow learned it from Twi, and Twi learned the pleasure of the wing (sort of) from Rainbow. It's an exchange for them. They're becoming a deeper couple by not being ashamed (mostly) to explore each other's kinks. That, to me, is sexy, that they can feel that comfortable with each other.
They're an evolving couple in my head and don't necessarily reflect my own desires. However, I would be lying if I said it wasn't sexy as heck that they enjoy it so much. I wouldn't be able to put as much of myself into the work if I didn't find their play arousing. So... Maybe just a little. I am a strange person. A demisexual, panromantic xenophile. That's part of why I like the romance so much and why I like that they have bonded so closely. It's easier for me to put myself in their horseshoes and see what they'd do.
Edit:
Damn... I'm going to need to make that a common step before publishing a story. CTRL-F and look for lavenderisms. I think I got rid of most of them, though.
4447861
Okay... now that editorializing is done... Let me just say that I can't thank you enough for your support, Kilted. It really means a lot to hear that you enjoy my work so much, and it's giving me the encouragement and drive to keep writing this story, and so many others.
But don't sell yourself short, either. I'm enjoying working through EE&E. It's hilarious and I could learn a lot from you in regards to innuendo... It's like a dictionary for sexual references and sex puns. It's... beautiful.
Edit: I keep giggling over your comment... It just feels so good. I think I'm addicted. Let's just hope I don't become like Trixie.
Praise me, all ye! Praise Trixie!
You've followed me long enough to know that my number one pleasure in life is to inspire others to write. Even when I fail, if I can inspire others to feel that love and drive for themselves, then I have succeed. Anything for you to realize how truly gifted of a writer that you are.
And yeah, I'm trying not to degrade myself, and it's a constant struggle that I need to get over for my own good. I love writing too damn much to stop. My friends love me too damn much to stop. Just gotta write and run over them roadblocks I create.
But yeah, it just seems like you half skipped the orgasm entirely. I adore foreplay as much as you do, but the orgasm snuck up on you, and not quite in the way that a good sudden orgasm can.
And don't worry, I had to rewrite E.E.E three times to knock out all of the LUS. Control f is how I did it, and I got rid of all of it. Even things like her lover and her mare. Usually I keep those sparse. Names have power.
And I entirely love that. Kink sharing and learning is awesome, and for you to get so deep inside of the head of your characters is truly something admirable to the highest degree. You're awesome. Never forget that! You get off to them getting off. Double hotness across the sky.
Demisexual and panromantic? And it's incredible to me how passionate you are about them and this. Truly. It makes my rump wiggle. Best ship is best ship. Submit...
I love you~ mobile replies are hard.
4449766
Demisexual and panromantic, yep. Maybe that's not the right term combination. I don't let gender determine who I might be interested in. Equal chance is given to all, but it seems to usually end up falling on the female or feminine side of things. Societally traditional masculine traits don't appeal to me.
Today, my goal is to tinker a bit with that orgasm, then flesh out chapter 3 a bit more... and move on to working on my 100 subscriber special. Which is another step into an area that I haven't touched before. Tragedy, sadness, and somehow turning it into a beautiful message by the end.
Tall order. Calls for coffee.
I like Rainbow calling Twilight lover and lovermare. She has a soft side to her. We saw it when she took a parasprite, we saw it when she stopped shouting and tried to inspire Fluttershy in the tornado episode, she's affectionate with Tank in the sidekick episode, and we see it with Scootaloo. Why wouldn't she show that when she's alone with Twilight?
4450010
That is a good point. And it fits with what I saw in her when she was holding Twilight.
Okay. Lovermare stays.
Another great chapter, you incredible tease you.
I did notice that you have a big problem with pronoun confusion though. You use 'she' and 'her' so liberally that it can get confusing. Remember that you're dealing with two females and so every time that you use 'she' or 'her' without proper context you force your reader to assess which of the characters it is supposed to be referring to. When it's linked with an action, it can be easy to determine whom you are describing, but sometimes you have sentences like
where you use 'her' in the same sentence to describe both Twilight & Dash. You also have issues with sometimes using 'her' or 'she' as the first pronoun of a sentence keeping your reader from knowing whom you're talking about until they read further and gain context for it. This kind of thing can keep a reader from getting immersed because each time they have to stop to figure out who an action belongs to, it brings them out of the story. Many authors fall into this pitfall or Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. Keep in mind that using a name is just as quickly assimilated by a reader as using a properly linked pronoun, but when you overuse pronouns it can actually slow down the reader's comprehension during scenes like this.
Also, reading your comments with KiltedKey are almost as cute as your story.
4451096
Thank you! I haven't had a lot of experience writing multiple person interactions, and your feedback is very much appreciated. I worry sometimes about overusing names, but then I don't have much experience with fast action interaction between two characters. It will be addressed shortly, before I finish the next chapter, and I will keep it in mind as I write the next chapter.
Once again, thank you, Anonpony. I really appreciate this type of feedback.
4449766
Behold, the newer, improved sex scene! Now with extended orgasm and less pronoun confusion!