• Published 17th May 2014
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Back to school for Lulu! - Evilhumour



Following the events of a simple test from the bureaucracy of Equestria, Luna has decided to take this chance to learn what she has missed during her thousand years absence. Will she pass this time around? Will she be fail kindergarten?

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Chapter two

Chapter Two

After escaping her sister’s forelimbs and wings, Luna sat on the carpeted floor for a moment before taking control of things, lest her sister and her niece get too enthralled with the idea of her in kindergarten.

“Dear sister, We think it would be prudent to make this action known to our courts.” She spoke a bit too quickly, but it was needed. “We do not wish to alarm our ponies if We art to suddenly appear in a school.”

“Correct Luna,” Celestia nodded her head. “Where do you wish to go for ma-”

That will be done discreetly and without any royal fanfare!” Curses!, she’d agreed to it! Now there was no way out of Celestia’s plots, surely numbering in the thousands by now, to see her in there. Huffing and rolling her eyes, she spoke the place that she wished to go for her first educational step. After all, she did owe a boon to that place and the ponies that lived there, and it would be abandoning her royal duty if she were not to acknowledge all they had done for her.

“I see.” Her sister began to make the notes and papers to put everything in order. “Captain Shining Armor, as you have proved that you were able to keep my sister safe last night in her inebriated state, to which I know how she can act under the influence very well...”

Both the groaning Captain and alicorn of the night blushed at being reminded of the more impulsive deeds of their late night adventure across the bars of the capital, something worthy to be recorded in songs, away from the ears of young foals of course.

Ignoring the groans, Celestia continued. “I feel it would be prudent to have you as her personal guard as she has not reformed the Lunar Guards yet.” Luna looked to the floor, rubbing a hoof in small circles in embarrassment at the reminder.

“I would need to appoint somepony in my place for this assignment, but I will do so to the best of my abilities to watch over Princess Luna.” Shining Armor smirked a bit, enjoying the idea of bossing around a Princess slightly too much for Luna’s taste.

“Good.” Princess Celestia looked at her sister, who was frowning at this, not liking the idea of having somepony watching over her who would be more than willing to send the elder princess all the embarrassing stories and events that were surely to transpire knowing her luck. She would hate this even more, but… “As such, you will be the de facto guardian of Princess Luna.” She saw her sister’s eyes go wide at this, which made her so adorable that it was taking all of Celestia’s resolve not to scoop her up again and squeeze her tightly. “Whatever he says goes dear sister. Within reason, of course.” Her little sister’s lips were moving, not sounding anything. For anypony, even those that were expert lip-readers, it would be impossible to tell what she was saying, unless they were Celestia. The eldest princess knew exactly what her sister was mouthing and those were impressive swears.

With dagger-like eyes, her younger sister nodded her head in agreement. Excellent! Now she just needed to get Shining Armor to send her the stories, a bit worried that Luna had tainted him by becoming his latest drinking buddy and afraid that he would refuse to betray Lulu like that to her, even if it was a royal order from her.

“Good then, let us go prepare for this little event.” Celestia smiled as she finished the papers for the media. “I trust you two need some time to set the paperwork up?”

The two bureaucrats nodded, already pulling out several papers that they were looking over with such speed and steady focus that made Celestia wonder if they were truly ponies or something else

“And I do know that two ponies need to go wash up and make sure that they are properly decent for this little media circus?” She looked at her niece who gave a loud snort, a reminder of how the young alicorn had brought the two drunks to Celestia’s private room, dragging them by the scruff of their necks and the half empty cask of rum still in Luna’s arms, after trying to deal with them for a few hours.

“And Cadance, a Princess does not snort like that in front of anypony.” She heard her meep and watched her blush at being caught like that.

She just chuckled, shaking her head with joy. Oh this would be so much fun and it had only just begun!


It was a rare event that a Princess had ever made a Royal Proclamation, the most recent one being that Princess Luna had been returned to them, cleansed of Nightmare Moon, and that she was to be reinstated as co-ruler of Equestria. Nearly all of the news stations had sent out reporters to try and get the true story, but Princess Celestia had also had to deal with several dozen nobleponies questioning her about the whole matter, which meant the reporters didn’t get to ask many questions to either her or the small blue alicorn who wore a large necklace and was trying to hide-but-at-the-same-time-not-hide behind Princess Celestia’s flanks before Celestia called the whole thing to a close.

Now that another Royal Proclamation was to be given out, and by PrincessLuna of all mares, they knew they had to beat the nobleponies to the palace in order to get the good seats.

It did Luna good to see how her ponies were angling to get a good spot, several newsponies fighting and arguing with nobleponies about their right to sit where they wanted to, while a pony that she knew was Blueblood was arguing about his royal right to sit right in front of her with a mare yelling and pointing a hoof right at him. She was tempted to give Blueblood a Royal Order to go to the back of the room and be quiet, but she couldn’t because she didn’t want to deal with a Royal Incident after annoying one of Equestria’s more influential ponies when she was about to do this journey, nor did she want to leave Celestia with a whining nitwit trying to boggle her down with loads of paperwork that the other nobles would gladly aid him in supplying in the hopes of gaining some more power in the government. Although their new bureaucrat friends might be able to help her sister out…

That and she didn’t have any real legal authority anymore, not until she passed that damnable test. Then again, it might just be worth it to order him to shut up and sit in the back row as his stupid cologne and voice were really making her headache worse.

Looking at her sister, she turned her attention to the strange device that Celestia had told her would help broadcast her voice so all ponies could hear her, although she would need to speak a bit louder so it would pick up her voice.

“GREETING-GAH!” Everypony leaped backwards, holding their hooves over their ears from that piercing, amplified shout of the Royal Canterlot Voice attacking them from the hidden speakers in the courtroom. It was at that moment that several ponies made a promise to themselves to NEVER ever let Luna near a microphone ever again.

Biting her lip, Luna forced herself to remain calm and not hide in some hole or under her bed. She was the Princess of Equestria! She could do this!

“Gr-greetings, my little ponies.” Her wings fluttered as her voiced cracked, another blasted sign of her weakness! “Thou art no doubt curious to why We have summoned thee.” She paused, taking a deep breath inwards to steady herself. “As thou art aware, We were absent for a thousand years for well known reasons.” She paused, the weight of what she had done as Nightmare Moon was painful on her shoulders, but she would not let it crush her resolve. “Despite that, We have not lost Our rightful place besides Our dear sister, due in part to her endless kindness and generosity to never cut Our ties from thy seat of power in all those years alone.” She smiled at her sister, truer words never spoken. Luna could have easily come back, purified of Nightmare Moon but only to find that Celestia had done the necessary paperwork to make her place as ruler of Equestria null and void, easily leaving Luna with little room to move or do anything. She could have easily become a poor mare on the street- No, Celestia could never be that cruel! “Yet, yesterday two ponies,” She gestured to the two bureaucrats next to her, the stallion was close to fainting if it was not for the mare holding him up. “Brought a law to my sister’s attention.” She eyed her crowd, the newsponies quickly writing done all that she said and the nobles trying to figure out what was going on. “It was one concerning the base legal requirements that a pony must endure to be considered worthy to have a seat of power.” She looked at her sister, who gave her a nod of confidence. “Despite this being my birthright and duties, along with mine sister, to rule over our little ponies, I chose to submit myself to this examination.” Here came the hard part. Luna reached inwards for strength. “We did not pass the exam.” That caused a few gasps from the crowd, and a few giggles were heard. “We were given council that We should simply ignore this exam, or take another one in the near future.” She stared at the crowd, willing them quiet with her appearance. It was mitigated by the fact she was only slightly taller than the average pony and looked like the filly she was once. “We chose not to do either of these options. We were informed that the… proper recourse of action We were to take was to repeat the education year. However, due to the fact that the education system was created after Our banishment, We have no formal place, thus it was Our decision to enroll, experience and learn about Our new world through the same process thou all experienced and prove Our worth in time to all gathered here today soon!”

Luna looked at the stunned court of reporters and nobleponies, some still stunned by her decree but a few moving around on their hooves to really begin processing what it had meant for everypony that she was willing to do this. She had the authority of her position by her sister’s side, but doing this would prove that she had the same right to be there by their standards. They would hold her higher since she had said it was all done willingly! And to learn more about the nature of her world was truly wonderful after all, what was there not to admire-

“P-princess Luna, a question from Equestria Daily!” A gentlecolt raised a hoof, holding a piece of parchment and a quill in his magic aura. She could have strained her eyes to look over to see what his cutie mark was, but that damnable hangover told her it was a poor choice.

“Ask my dear little pony.” She smiled, still a bit uneasy smiling all the time instead of simply ordering and looking at the pony, but she would change for them and her dear sister, who was standing proudly by her side as she embarked on this journey of learning, discovery and self-growth, nearly all on her alone and done by her own terms! Celestia was still beaming with pride at her, with her niece –still a concept she was not completely used to yet, she would need the full story later- standing next to the Royal Captain of the Guards who was fighting off the remains of his hangover, but eager to join her new friend. A friend already, when it took eons before to even get one pony as to regard her as an acquaintance! This was going wonderful-

“Does this mean you will be attending magical kindergarten, flight kindergarten, normal kindergarten, or all three?”

Luna’s Royal Face fell as she heard her sister, niece, and soon to be nephew-in law all snrk loudly.

There was one only response she could say to this, yet she dare not speak it in fear of causing a Royal Incident.

Oh buck me.