Badger, the Hippogriff

by Solar Eclipse

Sloth

“Watch your head,” Azok instructed as he led me into his basement.

[I have some popsicles in my basement!]

I ignored War’s comment as Azok flipped a switch which caused the room to be cascaded in light by candles mounted on the walls.

“Neat trick. So why are we here again?” I asked, poking away at a nearby spiderweb, then turned my attention to the walls. couple of feet or so were weapons that could only be described as ‘epic’. [or b-e-a-utiful]. My beak dropped as I took in the sight. Some were on fire, others had some sort of aura around them.

“Well as you know, I'm an alien from a distant place full of war and strife so par for course I tend to carry enough weapons to make anybody wet themselves. And this place is reasonably peaceful, so I have taken to making this basement my armory. Most of the weapons are on the far wall, take your pick.” Azok said, pointing to a far wall down the corridor.

The wall he motioned too was just a tad bit different. instead of weapons every foot or so, there were hundreds. there was not a single speck of space left uncovered by some form or blade or hammer.

I stared at the strange assortment of weapons, but what had really caught my eye was what looked like an old boot.. “Why is there a boot in your armory?” I asked, pointed to it with my right claw.

“Its a booterang. There are many like it but this one is mine....and no you can't have my booterang, but everything else is up for grabs.”

I looked at each individual weapon, taking into account its strengths and weaknesses. As my gaze traveled over one very wicked weapon and it seemed to radiate strength and death. I stopped. It was a large red blade with a crimson gem pomle.

“Its called Voldrethar Dark Blade of Oblivion, or VDBO for short.” Azok piped up, smiling at the blade then to me.

I gripped the sword from the wall and swung it around. I almost sent back into a flashback back in Operation Eclipse as I expertly under and over cutted. I lost my flashback after adding in a bit of flare at the end. “I shall call it ‘Oblivion’. There are not many like it, and this one is mine.”

---

Azok went up to the house to grab some supplies as I stated to hack and slash at some dummies. Who would’ve thought that having my own sword -without it being issued to my by the military- would be so fun?

“Hey Azok, where are you? Don't you think we should get going?” I called out as I took a few steps into his house “Dude where are you? Seriously man, this isn’t funny.” As if in response to my question, i heard a large thump on the floor above me, with smaller struggling sounds as well.

I speed my way up sup stairs and took a couple of turns, and then i barged into his room. There he lay, spazzing out on the ground for a moment, then he was still, his eyes closed. If anything he looked dead-.

“magical patch 5.0.0 update magical code rewrite commence.”

Well never mind then, he isn’t dead. Fuck, I wanted all of his weapons. Oh well. He comically stood up and sprinted for the nearest trashcan.

“Oh shit, you alright man?”

“No I feel like I got punched but by a mountain...what happened?”

“No idea. I heard noises from up here and I saw you spazzing on the ground like you were having a case of epilepsy. Then you started to mutter something...”

“What...exactly did I say?”

“Something about a ‘magical patch update, code rewrite commence’....why, is it important?”

“NO! I mean, no its not important, let's get going.” Azok left the room in a hurry, leaving a confused me in his wake.

The hell?

---

Gilda, Third person POV

Gilda and Vinny were making there way to Paradise Estate by orders of the Princess. They were making good time and were already in Dream Valley.

“I think I can see it!” Gilda shouted behind her. When she didn't hear a response she turned her neck around and saw that Vinny was no longer on her back. She quickly stopped flying and looked down to see a small green spec hurtling towards the ground. “Oh shit-”

Vinny had fallen off moments before Paradise Estate came into view. His body was convulsing much like his elf friend’s was doing hundreds of miles away. Gilda sped towards the ground trying to catch Vinny before he hit, but the effort was fruitless. His body hit the ground with a sickening thud. She landed softly next to Vinny and began to try and wake him up.

“Shorty, wake up! C’mon... I don’t want Azok to get pissed.. hell.. c’mon!” She slapped him.

Vinny’s eyes shot open and he started to mutter “magical patch 5.0.0 update magical code rewrite commence.” He then shakily got to his knees before vomiting bile and blood onto the ground in front of him “Fuck,” he groaned “What happened...Did you drop me?”

“No...maybe.... you fell. Not my fault.” She raised her talons defensively in a ‘Watch out, badass over here’ kind of way

“Damnit,” Vinny said before coughing up more blood. “Reach in my bag and hand me the bandages.” several seconds latter Vinny began to wrap his chest with frostweave bandages [1]stopping some of the bleeding “OK, those should hold my insides till I can get Azok to heal me, come on lets just get this job over with.”

---

Badger, Third person POV

Badger and Azok had been flying for several hours before the city of Manehatten came into view. The sun was just beginning to rise again, filling the night sky with brilliant rays of red and orange, stunning the two flying as they observed its awe-inspiring colors. But most of its glory was lost on the ponies already out and about, already about their daily business The pair landed in the courtyard of the police station and went inside to begin their investigation.

“OK, we need six of the officers who were affected by the Terrorist, two of each species. When we’re done you will leave this room and the next will enter. Understood?” Badger said as he paced in front of a small platoon of his fellow soldiers, and slightly shuddered.

The first pony to step up was an older, gray unicorn stallion.“So,” he said “How does this work?”

“Simple,” Azok replied. “I will ask you one question, then I will just need you to sit still for one minute. Can you do that for me?” The Unicorn nodded his head in response. “Alright, first question, what do you remember from the incident?”

“Nothing.”

“I will ask you again...What do you remember from the incident?”

“Nothing.”

“I know you are lying, I have been controlled many times before and your memories aren't altered. What do you remember.” He did not ask a question, but demanded.

“I-I didn't see anything wrong with doing what she said. It’s like I was a colt again being told to do his chores by his parent. I tried to resist, honest!”

“Ok, I believe you now. I just need you to sit still for one minute. I will time it and ....Start.

---

“Ok I will ask you one question then I will just need you to sit still for one minute, can you do that for me?” The next pony, an earth colored earth pony, nodded his head, and the test began. “What did the Terrorist look like?”

“What?” The pony was utterly confused.

[SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU MOTHERUCKER, SAY WHAT, ONE MORE-]
{Shut up.}

“He said, what did she look like” Badger replied.

“Like the most beautiful mare in the world a long flowing golden mane and her beautiful blue eyes. She-”

“That's enough. Thank you, now sit still for one minute...Start” the rest of the ponies all went into the room and all completed the test when Azok was completed he stepped out and motioned for Badger to join him in the room.

“Good news and bad news, the good news is the guards were definitely under a mind control. The bad news is, all of them were except one, the second one I talked to, he was too specific with his answer. Now when we leave the room, you go stand next to the exit and I will try and grab him. If he runs away, he's all yours.”

---

“So this is where we are supposed to look for what ever it was? How about you take the room with the pool and I will take the one with the creepy gargoyle.” Vinny offered as he jumped off of Gilda’s back and stretched his legs.

Gilda and Vinny split up and started to search their rooms respectively. They searched for hours and found only dust and more dust. After several more hours of searching and more cough-inducing dust, they both returned to the main room.

“So I say we give up. I mean, we have been at this for hours and nothing...are you listening to me?” Vinny asked quizzically.

“Ya ya, just... Vinny wasn't that statue over in that corner?”

“Yeah..” Vinny replied as he pulled his gun out. “It was...Gilda get behind me and when I so go get to the door and get out...GO!”

The Gargoyle shot from the wall, his claws wildly slashing the air in front of it. Before he got halfway across the room two arcane rounds smashed into his chest, sending him flying back into the wall he sprung from. The beast It got up from its pile of rubble and picked the two slugs from its rock skin and dropped them to the floor with a thud. “That wasn't very nice. I was waiting there for a long time,” he said in a low gravelly voice. “Now Wrath will be mad that I messed this up.. I'm usually good at the slow stuff...”

Gilda and Vinny were outside, prepared for anything, when a large oak tree exploded in front of them. “Fucking hell that was close,” Vinny as he pulled out a whistle case. “Yo Gamera, need some help here!” A large lava covered tortoise faded into existence to the left of the hunter, its jaw snapping in anticipation.

The Gargoyle slowly climbed through the hole in the roof and sat down. “Hay green thing, I'm too tired to fight how about we play a game instead. If you win you can kill me, if I win I can kill you, deal?”

“First, tell me what the rules are ya stupid pile of rocks.”

“Fine, and it’s Sloth, not pile of rocks. The game is, we ask each other riddles, the person who can figure out the other’s riddle losses.”

“Fine Sloth we have a deal.”

Gilda brought Vinny over and spoke to him in a very low whisper. “Wouldn’t it be easy if we fight him?”

“Of course, but where is the fun in that?”

“What happens if we lose?” Gilda growled, her eyes slanting threateningly.

“Calm yourself, It’s not like we’re actually gonna let him kill us,” Vinny said with a mischievous smile.

---

Sloth and Vinny stood ten feet apart, ready for the game to begin. “Ok I will go first. Hmm..... let me think...” Sloth sat down on the grass, eyes closed in concentration. When he heard a pinging noise, he opened his eyes and saw a bayonet stuck through his stone chest and two large barrels right in his face.

“Hey... thats cheating!”

“No its not, you’re just dumb as hell.” Vinny squeezed the trigger on his rifle twice, sending two explosive rounds into Sloth’s face. When the dust settled, all that was left was a stump and some light blue smoke.

“Two-to-zero, ya dumb fuckers.”

Shameless self promotion:

Check out 'In the Darkness the Long Blades light the way'!

Comments

[Bealoreas]

Sounds interesting. I shall track and read when I can.

[Solar Eclipse]

1435447 it's takin a weird change from 'school' to missions recently, but I do hope you enjoy!

[my little broney (MLB)]

at first i thought shit weaping angel but then his name was sloth and i was like thank god for that lol also sweet as chapter man and yes im back baby lol

[Solar Eclipse]

1513102 HE'S BACK BABEH

[my little broney (MLB)]

1513134 hells yer miss me

[Skyserpents]

I do not understand what is going on. First, it was Hippogriffs, then it was world of warcraft, now it is moving gargoyles???

[The Pony Eclipse]

just found this story and noticed something. solar eclipse. my oc's name. last seen aug 22. my birthday. interesting.