Badger, the Hippogriff

by Solar Eclipse

The 7..er.. 6.. (edited)

It took myself and gilda three hours longer than usual to get to Canterlot, due to my wings being weaker than they were before. So after a couple of rest stops we finally spotted the castle. It was also at this time where a group of pegasi clad in golden armor came up and formed a wing around us to escort. One of them purposely bumped into me and almost sent me spiraling out of the sky. I quickly thrust my way back up and glared daggers at the guard who simply smiled.

Those eyes... where have I seen them before? His eye was a deep blue color while his other eye had a patch over it. His lightning yellow tail flowing out behind him.

He obviously noticed my confusion and smiled wider. He quickly shot one of his back legs out and a resounding stroke of thunder rolled across the plains we were over.

“Holy hell, Thunder Struck! How ya been?”

“Peachy, Badger! How’s school going?”

“What school? I haven't been conscious for a week or more.. I can’t remember. Anyways, What are you doing now?”

“About to be the leader of a JROTC unit at your school actually. Should be there in the next couple of days or so.”

“Is that so? Well rock on with your funky bad self. How’s the eye?”

“Same as always. Freaking Dogs.”

“Amen.”

We started nearing the castle and we landed on the other side of the hedge maze, then made our way through the maze to a large door where more guards stood.

“So then I was all like, ‘screw you manticore, I’m too good for you beyatch’ and gave him a good ol’ scratch across his face.”

“Awesome. There was this one time where-” Thunder began.

“Good, you have finally arrived,” a calm, soft voice said over our own voices.

I looked over to the new voice and immediately bowed. “Princess.”

“I’m glad you got here... though not what I would call ‘as soon as possible’.”

“Had some complications from a few weeks ago.” I replied, sincerity in my voice.

Before we could continue our conversation, there was a loud crackling noise, followed by bursts of electricity in the air. This formed a sort of spherical light that grew to about the size of Princess Celestia herself. The air ripped open revealing a swirling vortex of golden light that sent two figures shooting out of the portal, crashing through a wall on the opposite side of the room.

“Ouch...”

“O shit, is your leg supposed to bend like that?”

“Considering it is scratching the back of my head... no.” There was a quick flash of light followed by two sighs of relief. “Ok note to self: dimension hopping is bad for your health.” A head poked out of the hole and came face to spear head with several angry looking guards.

“What is this thing?” Thunder questioned. Celestia moved closer to the hole in the wall and caught a glimpse of the intruder.

“That thing,” she said with intrigue, “Is an Elf, and we haven't seen one of them in over a millenia.”

The head turned around and shouted into the hole. “Hey Vinny, we landed in the throne room at the castle!”

Shit, thats Azok? what the hell happened- never mind. I’m sure he’ll tell me anyways.

The Goblin popped his head out of the hole. “Hell ya!”

“Well it seems fortune favors us today. I was about to summon you both here.”

“Can we ask why?”

“I will tell you, but for now please go stand next to Badger and Gilda.”

---

“Twelve hours ago a terrorist named Lust enslaved every male in Manehatten; we believe she used an advanced want-it-need-it spell. We want you four to go back to Manehatten and investigate. Azok, Vinny, you are both familiar with mind control spells, correct?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good, then I would like you all to set out immediately-”

“Taken care of, ma’am,” I replied, going to the position of attention, but flinching from some pain in my shoulder.

"Yo B, you alright? You look like you got ran over by a tank

“Technically I did. A big... four legged.. scorpion-tail wielding... Lion-headed... tank.”

“Wait, you got your ass kicked by a Manticore? How? They’re like beating up a marshmallow.”

“Well that was one big fucking marshmallow.” I retorted, rubbing my shoulder absently

“Come over here, I might be able to do something about your wings.” I made my way to him. “Now sit down and stay still. Since you're not my pet, this is still a little choppy.” He tossed a green orb of light at me, which hit in my left wing. I felt a searing pain for a couple for seconds, and then the pain was obliterated from my body.“How ya feeling?”

“Like I got ran over by a smaller tank.”

“Ever swim in lava?”

“No?” I asked quizzically.

“Then quit bitchin’.”

---

Clap. Clap. Clap.

Da fuq? Who is clapping?

The answer to my question was a griffin, who landed between us and Celestia

“HAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” the griffin said. “I know the boss is going to pluck me, but that was just too hilarious.”

“Well, I mean the boss is already pissed, what with the overgrown chicken over there deep frying Lust back in Manehatten, but it was entirely her fault. Stupid chick never did listen.”

“Who are you, and how do you know what happened in Manehatten?” the Princess demanded, lowering her horn to the intruder. I personally took a spear from one of the nearby stunned guards and aimed it at the new challenger.

“Simple,” the taloned fiend said while tapping his skull. “Psychic link between me and the other Seven -well, now I guess Six- sins. By the way, name’s Pride. Now for the reason I’m actually here, I have a message to deliver and now is as good as a time as ever.” Pride cleared his throat and began to speak in a monotone voice, “Dear Princess Celestia, don't interfere with our plans... bla bla bla... or else... bla bla bla... destruction... bla bla bla.” Pride flapped his wings and took to the air.

“Anyways, if it weren’t for our hippogriff’s little girlfriend here, all of manehatten would already be ours.” He zoomed down in front of Gilda, and lightly touched her chin with his talon. “So lovely.. it’s a shame I have to kill you because you killed my sister. But I digress, hit me up sometime before we fight, I’d love to get to know you.”

Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

“Bite me,” Gilda replied, malice in her voice.

Atta-girl.

“Well, if that’s how you get off...” He seemed to contemplate for a moment, “A little bit too kinky for me. Sorry sweetcakes.”

I threw the spear down and cocked my left arm back and then with as much force as i could muster, threw it at his face. His neck snapped surprisingly easy or a griffin, and not near as satisfying as it should’ve been. He imploded into bright green flames. As i shook my talon to ward off some pain from the hit, I heard laughter from above us.

“You really think I’m that easily defeated? Nice try. Now I think I might just bite her. Have fun while you can kids, because shit is about the hit the fan. Hard.” He once again exploded into green flames.

“Damnit Badger, I was gonna blow his head off!” vinny yelled at me with as much as he could muster “Everything above his shoulders was about to become a fine red mist, but noo~o~o, you had to punch him.”

I opened my beak to retaliate, but was interrupted by the new Azok.

“Calm down, Vinny, he was probably pissed because that Pride guy was hitting on his girl. Something seemed familiar about him, though... Anyway Princess, you still want us to go to Manehatten, or have the plans changed?”

“I'm not sure... Azok, Badger, you two go to Manehatten and check up on some guards I posted there, then return back to me for more orders. Vinny, Gilda, since you two are smaller and more agile than the former two, I need you to check out these locations and scout them out before they come around.”

“Permission to speak freely?” I asked, looking to the princess with determination.

“Permission granted, Master Chief.”

“Why are you going to separate me and Gilda, and send myself and Azok down the Manehatten? We just came from there.”

“Because both of you are the strongest, and being the last place of the attack, they might strike there again.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn't look as strong as he did before.”I mumbled under my breath.

Azok walked over to one of the guards and grabbed his spear “Yoink!” He held it by the end of the shaft and the head and bent it into a pretzel shape.

“Your turn,” he challenged me, tossing the pretzel of a spear to me.“Bend it back.”

After ten failed attempts at even loosening it, I threw it on the ground in a huff. “Fucking aliens all up in our world, being stronger than me... and.. freaking...” i mumbled on, eyeing the spear and then the floor.

“Ok, well we will be heading off, but we have to make a stop at my house first.” Azok inquired

“What do you mean? Why do you have to go down to Ponyville?” Celestia responded, annoyed with his sudden change of the plan.

“Well, if you notice Badger is well... he isn’t as combat proficient as me-”

“Fuck you Azok.” I replied.

“- so I have a gift for him.”

“And what might this gift be?” the Princess questioned

“It’s an upgrade.”

Do tell.
[Yes please, do tell.]
~I concur~

Comments

[Winter Storm]

scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4903-tumblr_lq8uresvsl1qm2frqo1_400.jpg
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Happy "Speak Like Zecora" day, a rather tough game to play.

[Archmagejay]

Ohh upgrade... Do Tell

[Solar Eclipse]

1234308 soon, my comrade, soon.

until then, me and gnome are currently making a non-canon chapter! we hope to bring you lots of lolz!