• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Feb 13th, 2019

Marshal Twilight

A smut-peddling armchair general with a love for writing and ponies.


When Spike falls ill with a life-threatening disease, Twilight must race against time to find the cure. After much research, she discovers a little-known potion that can save him, but all of the ingredients can only be found in the place that she fears the most: The Everfree Forest.

Even though it’s the middle of the night, the clock is ticking and Twilight is determined to save her oldest friend. Not wanting to go in alone, she enlists the help of her friend, Fluttershy, both for her reassuring presence and her impressive knowledge of the forest. The two of them embark on a dangerous adventure, where they will find challenges both in the environment and in each other.

Edited by The Abyss

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 22 )

An outstanding first chapter! I shall be looking forward to more of this one. :pinkiehappy:

A great chapter. It's great to see Twilight and Fluttershy going on an adventure. I look forward to the next chapter.

I really like how you mentioned Twilight being uncomfortable entering the Everfree Forest after the incident with the cockatrice. It makes sense that the incident where, for all intents and purposes, she died would have long lasting effects on her mind. I can only imagine what trials they'll have to go through to get each herb, and I don't doubt the trapper that almost got Zecora will notice these two. Perhaps an herb or two will be trapped, and will the trapper be someone we already know?

I'll find out as soon as that chapter appears. :twilightsheepish:

Aw, no comments? Oh well, looks like I'm first. Great job on making Twilight the scared one and Fluttershy the brave one. I hardly ever see that in stories. Very, VERY few errors, well written, very interesting. Just eye candy!

Fantastico! Un nuovo preferito!

I really like it so far. Nice characterization and few, if any, errors. Overall outstanding. 11/10 would read more.

This story is off to quite a good start. :twilightsmile: I don't have anything to complain about really. Making Twilight the one who is afraid is a wonderful idea that makes sense as well, there were little if any mistakes or errors, the pacing seems fine, and everything else is just plain good.


Yep, there's plenty of crap they're going to have to go through before it's over. And I definitely agree about Twilight's fear of the forest; when you essentially die, or have the equivalent to a near-death experience, I figure you'd be more than a little shaken by that.


Word to the wise. Always refresh the page before saying anything about being the first comment :trollestia:

In any case, thanks for the comment, and I did indeed think that would be an interesting twist to make this story stand out a bit. Don't get me wrong though, they're both scared, but Fluttershy is unaware of just how deep Twilight's fears go.


Oh stop it you. :twilightblush: I do hope you find the story to your liking, since there is a shameful shortage of TwiShy on this site. I'm hoping to help fix that.


I was especially worried about pacing, since I was wondering if I was rushing things a bit. At the same time, I also didn't want to drag it out too much. Glad to hear that I seemed to have gotten it nailed down reasonably well.

4402649 If you want me to stop, you'll have to come and stop me!

Buona fortuna con quello però!

ok, besides spike not feelin very well :fluttershysad: n' twi headin into t everfree (which said place freaks her t buck out :twilightoops:) at nite :ajbemused:. Yet, at least she has flutters' help findin t stuff to mak t cure to a certain drake's illness :pinkiesad2:. Just hopefully twi's fear doesn't come back to bite them in t flank later :duck:

Interesting start looking forward to more. Although you might want to work on Zecora's rhymes a bit. They sounded kinda flimsy to me.

4402649 Yea...:twilightblush: ehehehhh... erm, right of course! Refresh page ... (Mental checklist: Stop embarrassing yourself because you're to lazy to click one simple button...)

But, erm, anyways, good job, and I can't wait for more:pinkiehappy:!

An interesting beginning. A mysterious illness affecting the tertiary hero. A laundry list of items needed to cure the illness. A dangerous mission to collect the items. A ticking clock to add tension. A creepy dungeon forest. A dungeon forest master taken out of the equation by an injury. A primary hero crippled by fear. A cowardly secondary hero having to step up and become the brave primary hero. A budding romance, apparently, between the primary and secondary heroes. An epic quest lies ahead for them both. What will become of them? Will they get back to the tertiary hero in time? Will the primary and secondary heroes confess their (apparent) love for one another?

There is only one way to find out. Read the rest of the story.

...When there is a rest of the story, that is. The best way to do that is to favorite this story.



Easily the most frustrating part about writing Zecora. There are a few that I'm definitely not happy with, but I ended up having to compromise to get past them.


You trying to write a new summary for this? :trixieshiftright: 'Cause it actually isn't half bad.

Thank you for the like and fave, good sir.

This is getting even better. :pinkiehappy:

Man, that sucked for both twi n' flutters goin thru that awful business with t timberwolf pack; then later twi finally admitted that she's basically havin maybe one of t worst nites in her life thx to a damn experince turn phobia. God, i hope things get (even if it's only a tiny bit) better for t girls in t future :pinkiesad2:


I certainly hope so. It'd be a bad sign if it was getting worse. :raritywink:


Oh, it'll get better alright... eventually. :trollestia:

ugh, even tho i wanna argue i can't due to t girls' bein in Everfree for cure ingredents n' twi's phobia probally not goin to leave her alone any time soon :fluttershysad::ajbemused:. Yet, it'll be nice to eventually see things go better :pinkiesad2:

You forgot about the timberwolves' putrid breath.

I found the perfect soundtrack for the timberwolf scene:

When I got to the chase scene, these lyrics started playing and it just made that whole part more awesome:
It's your demise, can't escape the eyes
oh you're the prize of the timberwolf.
You can try and hide, but it's just a soothing lie
everybody dies to the timberwolf.

So here they come you better start running, oh, oh, oh, oh.
So here they come you better start running, oh, oh, oh, oh.
So here they come you better start running, oh, oh, oh, oh.
So here they come you better start running, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I know! It gives you chills, does it not?

This was so cool. I love "Take Charge Fluttershy." I eagerly await the next chapter.



Whoa, that's spooky. :rainbowderp: It does fit it really well.

Good job on the fairy tale part (sounds like a retelling of something else). I get the sneaking suspicion that it will be brought up again. :trixieshiftright:
Looking forward to more. :yay:

So far so good.
Adventure fics is difficult to pull of but so far you have done a most excellent job.
Also kudos for the writing on Zecora, rhyming isn't easy and i respect the people that can pull it off relatively well.

A good mythical fairy tail story, an action packed chase scene, and a nice TwiShy ending. Yea this is getting better by the chapter.
Will sit patiently for the next one

Very good so far! I like how you've realistically addressed the lingering effects of Twilight's petrification, and I look forward to the next update! :twilightsmile:

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