• Published 15th May 2014
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Sprockets in the North - Lab



Icy spires and sheer cold have barred entry to the Frozen North, the land ponies emigrated from, for as long as any can remember. However, the princesses believe Sterling Gears might be able to find a solution. Part 2 of The Tinker's Journey.

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Scootaloo the Zombie

One of the things I’d picked up during my first few months as Beta was not to hold meetings within two hours of any meal. Hungry diamond dogs were not attentive or pleasant, and full diamond dogs usually started snoring halfway through. Not wanting to put it off, I spread the word that there would be a packwide meeting in the early afternoon. Pinkie was still out doing… Pinkie things, but this was urgent enough that I couldn’t wait for her to get back.

In the main cavern, there was a small area off to the side where we’d set up a lectern—pony-sized, of course, though we did have a taller one in storage. I didn’t call meetings often, so the pack knew it was something important. Still, it was surprising to see nearly every pack member show up on time.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. “One of the mechanics for the expedition has gone missing. Unfortunately, it was the one I was supposed to train, and it appears that they will be unable to find another candidate in time. I will be leaving with the expedition when the ship launches.”

My ears throbbed as the pack protested all at once, yelling to be heard over one another and creating a din audible in the Griffon Kingdoms. It had been twenty-two days since our last noise complaint, but the count would likely be reset before evening and ruin our chances of breaking our record of twenty-three days.

“Hey, I wasn’t finished!” The acoustics helped my shout cut through the crowd like a hot knife through the butter-flavored lie called margarine. “I’ll only be gone a week, and you’ll still be able to contact me. Just one week. Seven days. One-hundred-and-sixty-eight hours. Wait… yeah, I did the math right.”

Panic slowly turned into reluctant acceptance. They would follow me come hell or high water, but their loyalty wasn’t completely blind.

“How do we know if you be—will be safe?” Most of the diamond dogs no longer spoke like they were reading a text message word for butchered word. The instructor we’d hired was proving to be a worthwhile investment, even though he took sadistic pleasure in correcting me every time I said “who” instead of “whom”.

“The ship is an Equestrian engineering marvel with a fully-stocked crew. I’ll be very safe.” Come to think of it, the Titanic’s passengers had probably thought something similar. On the plus side, it would be difficult to hit icebergs that high in the air.

The pack exchanged looks. “You get into trouble a lot.”

I really couldn’t deny that, but it was Equestria’s fault for putting it in my way. “Only slightly more than the average individual.”

My ears clamped against my head as the cavern shook with laughter, loose dust and small rocks falling from the ceiling like spare change from an upturned pocket. Even though the place was sturdier than most bunkers, diamond dogs could get loud enough to drown out a jet engine.

“Beta needs protection,” one dog said as the chuckles died out. “Beta protects pack. Pack protects Beta.” Several others voiced their agreement.

“There’s not going to be a lot of room on the airship, and any dog that goes requires training and supplies, the latter of which take up even more space. And I don’t really have much of a say regarding the crew.”

“Just one. A guard is good… what was it called, tinsurance?”


“Insurance.”

He nodded. “Yes, that.”

“I told all of you where I was going, right? Airship means we’re going to be far from the ground.”

“That’s why you need a guard.” Sometimes I hated how well they worked together in discussions.

Realizing they weren’t going to let up, I sighed. “Alright, I’ll look into it, but no promises.”

The cavern shook again as they cheered.

“I’ve got nothing else to bring up tod—oops, almost forgot. Whoever’s been scratching lewd pictures into the walls of the lower tunnels better knock it off. It was well-drawn, but Cheerilee’s field trip almost found it before I did.” After a few moments, I couldn’t think of anything else that needed to be addressed. “Okay, now you can all go back to whatever you were doing. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

Surprisingly, there was little objection to me bringing a guard of my own on the expedition as long as I provided the rations and made sure they went through the proper training. The next batch of courses started in a week, and one unlucky diamond dog would get to suffer Canterlot with me. With that mess looming ahead, I wanted to get as much work done beforehand as possible.

For three days, I ran myself ragged trying to work on everything that had been dumped on my plate. Actually, it may have been four days. Or maybe five, since Twilight had said she hadn’t heard from me in a week and wanted to make sure I hadn’t died in an embarrassing position. True friendship right there.

A glance out the window showed nothing but a blackened sky dotted with light. The temperature fell a little every day, though not enough that bundling up would be necessary for another couple months. A flask of silver rock ale—my favorite—kept the slight chill away, but every gulp meant a longer wait before it was safe to take painkillers. I turned back to my workbench and nudged the pill bottle further away before getting back to the spell pattern in front of me.

Thaumite was best-suited for continuous effects that didn’t need to be directed after casting, so it worked extremely well for shields. However, it could still be overloaded if the shield was put under too much strain, and while unicorns would just get a headache and a little backlash from a failed spell, thaumite had a tendency to explode. Honestly, if it doesn’t have a chance to injure you, it’s just not worth doing.

We had a shield that could keep out cold for an entire airship. Increasing the efficiency enough to make it nearly impossible to drain the batteries or overload the pattern wasn’t difficult enough to stop me. Shielding the thaumite itself from the unique magic the cold and everfrost gave off, however, was a puzzling hurdle.

My ears swivelled towards the sound of hushed voices and hoofsteps approaching my front door. The voices weren’t loud enough to be recognizable, but there were at least two of them. They sounded like fillies too—oh, this wasn’t going to end well.

The knocking started just as I reached the door. What were they doing out here anyway?

As soon as the door opened, they said, “Nightmare Night, what a fright. Give us something sweet to bite.”

I stared at them in confusion. Was it really Nightmare Night? That would explain the cheap plastic pails half-full of candy they carried in their mouths. Would also explain why Apple Bloom was dressed as a scarecrow, Sweetie Belle was having trouble moving in a pumpkin outfit, and Scootaloo—

The fetid smell of death filled my nostrils as I looked upon what had become of Scootaloo. Shredded flesh decorated bite wounds like bloody ribbons. Milky eyes stared into my core as her askew mouth slowly worked up and down.

This couldn’t be happening. It shouldn’t be happening, but it was standing in front of me, literally on my doorstep. The past resurfaced with the screams of the dying and the moans of their undead pursuers. How far had it already spread? I know I’d been focused for the last few days, but how could I have missed something this big?

The gurgling call from Scootacorpse snapped me out of my ill-timed thoughts. I didn’t know why she hadn’t already attacked, but I shoved her away so she wouldn’t get the chance. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom held onto their pails as I picked them up by their napes and tossed them inside, ignoring their protests.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Apple Bloom shouted as the door slammed shut.

“Keeping her from getting in!” Barricading was a skill you never really forgot, and unlike riding a bicycle, I could still do it as a pony. The zombie was already pounding on the other side of the door, moaning about its denied meal. “Were either of you bit?”

“What?”

“Did she or anybody else bite you? I need to know.” Please say no.

Sweetie Belle backed up a few steps. “Just Opal. Can we go now? I think I hear my sister calling.”

Apple Bloom frowned at me. “Yeah, let us go!”

I sighed with relief. Even if they had been infected, it would have been difficult for me to put either of them down. Cruel? Maybe, but zombie children are just as dangerous and they can fit in tinier places. “No. You’re safe, and you’re going to stay that way if you stick by me.”

“You’re scaring Sweetie.”

“I’m not scared!” Sweetie Belle shouted from somewhere within the paperwork fort.

“Fear is good. You should be scared about what’s outside.” The windows would need to be barricaded next, but there were a few other things that needed to be taken care of first.

“Then why’d you leave Scootaloo out there?”


Of course they didn’t understand it wasn’t Scootaloo out there. Hell, I’d met plenty of adults that’d had trouble realizing their friends and family were gone despite things that looked like them chowing on the neighbors. “That’s not Scootaloo anymore.”

“Oh for—it’s Nightmare Night! She’s wearing a costume!” Apple Bloom shook her candy bucket for emphasis.

“I’ve met plenty who thought the same thing. They didn’t last very long.” After one last inspection of the barricade, I hobbled to one of the back windows and took the emergency horn off its stand. “Cover your ears, girls. This is going to get loud.”

Even if they didn’t believe me about the undead, they knew what I held and covered their ears.

There was no doubt the noise would attract every zombie within a large radius, but I had to warn the pack. They’d close up the mountain and keep an eye out for suspicious behavior. They hadn’t been trained specifically for zombies, but even if a few had already made it inside, sealing the entrances was the best option. On their home field, they had food, weapons, and the ability to just dig an escape tunnel if things got too bad.

Once I was done sending out alerts, I’d lead the surviving members of the CMC through the escape tunnel hidden beneath my pantry and seal it behind us. The pack wouldn’t even come looking for me unless I was still missing after a few hours, and we’d be in the caves long before then.

“Whoops, wrong horn.” After switching out the giant-spider alarm, which the pack had strongly insisted was a necessity much to my horror, I took in a big lungful of air, clamped down my ears as tight as possible, and blew like a kazooist competing with a tubist. Ears ringing and head throbbing, I wrote “earplugs—ask Octavia for recommendations if alive” on my shopping scavenging list.

“Sorry. Forgot it was that loud.”

“What?” Sweetie Belle shouted as she rubbed her ears.

“Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“What?” she shouted again.

I waved my hoof at her and headed back towards the front door. Yep, Apple Bloom was there, trying to remove the barricade by pushing in the wrong spot. “Don’t do that.”

“When my sister gets here—”

“She’ll be glad you’re safe. Apple Bloom, look at me.” I waited a few moments for her to listen, but she only returned to her escape attempt. “Please.”

She turned around reluctantly and gave me another frown. “Zomponies or whatever you called them aren’t real, Miss Gears.”

I half-heartedly chuckled. “Yeah, I do have to sound pretty crazy right now, don’t I?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yep. You sound like my Uncle Idared talking about changelings, except with less screaming. And I’ve met changelings. And—”

“Rhetorical question.” I sighed. “The point is that even though you think they aren’t real, I’ve dealt with them. I’ve seen what they can do. Can’t you smell them? Can’t you hear the moaning and screaming?”

“Uh, no?”

How could she not? Not hearing the screams and moans was possible if her ears were still ringing from the horn, but not noticing the smell was ridiculous—it was everywhere! I jumped as something moaned and beat against the door. “I’ll tell you more later. I need to send a few letters. Hopefully the princesses can stop this before it gets too far.”

Fortunately, Apple Bloom scampered off to find Sweetie Belle instead of continuing her efforts to escape. I should have already been writing all the letters, but I’d had to make sure one confused filly wasn’t going to let in dozens of zombies. The mournful cacophony outside was every bit as bone-chilling as I remembered. No, I needed to focus. There was so much that needed to be done if I wanted to keep the promise I’d made to myself after my last adventure. On the plus side, I’d always been curious what a blasting rod would do to a zombie.

A spike of pain shot through my leg as I sat down in front of the table where I handled mail. The injury was going to make things difficult, and taking painkillers was too risky. With a grunt of frustration, I crossed out my first attempt at a warning letter. Even though I was in a hurry, a warning was useless if they couldn’t read it. I settled on “Twilight, help! Zombies!” Hopefully she’d understand.

For whatever reason, my mailbox disliked it when I didn’t use envelopes, even if I appeased it with extra stamps. It reminded me of its preferences by slamming its door on my leg. “Wait for me to take my hoof out, you prick! Now’s not the time!”

Sweetie Belle giggled as she watched from the fort. “Are you fighting with your mailbox?”

“No, it just gets ornery if I don’t give it the right stuff.” It also got pissy if I didn’t send any mail for more than a day—found that out when Celestia had sent me a letter asking why I’d mailed her my grocery list.

“Sounds like Opal if she doesn’t get her favorite brand of cat food. Why do you have a magic mailbox for a pet?”

The door closed, the flag spun widdershins twice, and the letter was off to my favorite purple pony princess.

“It’s not my…” I’d fed it and paid attention to it, and it had a mind of its own whenever I wasn’t looking. It was either a pet or an ugly child, and I was sure Equestria didn’t have a race of sentient mailboxes. Mostly sure. Alright, half sure and strongly hoping I hadn’t been violating child-labor laws for weeks. “Huh, I guess it is my pet.”

Before I could start my letter to Pinkie or explain to Sweetie Belle why I had the most metal pet she’d ever seen, Twilight appeared in her usual flashy manner. “Gears, I got your letter. Please tell me it’s a terrible joke.”

“Princess Twilight!” two foals called out as they scrambled out of the fort.

Twilight looked at them in confusion. “Apple Bloom? Sweetie Belle? What are you doing here? And where’s Scootaloo?” She looked at me as I winced. “Gears, where is Scootaloo?”

I slowly shook my head.

Apple Bloom hopped in front of Twilight to get her attention and said, “She’s fine. Miss Gears saw Scootaloo’s zompony costume and got scared.” She pointed at the barricade. “Real scared.”

Twilight frowned as she looked at the pile of furniture then back to me.

“Why are you even asking? Can’t you hear them outside? And that smell isn’t anything in here! Come on, Twilight, we can’t waste any time! You know what happens.” I felt terrible for reminding her, but there was nobody I could trust more in this situation.

She sighed, and her frown lessened, but the sadness in her expression hurt even more. “Girls, stay here with Sterling for a little bit longer. I’m going to check outside and find Scootaloo.”

“Twilight, she was covered in bites. I don’t know how many more are out there. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but… just be careful.”

Twilight’s sad smile was yet another familiar sight. If I hadn’t known her so well, I might have thought she believed me. “Don’t worry, Gears. I learned from the best.” After another flash of light, she was gone.

They weren’t really out there, were they? Now that it’d been rubbed in my face, it was obvious I’d made more poor choices than usual that evening. Hundreds of rotting limbs weren’t relentlessly beating at my walls. I was the only one that could hear the chorus of moans and screams, the grisly pandaemonium of an apocalypse that was months behind me. I’d essentially taken two foals hostage—and possibly assaulted a third—because of a delusion.

“—don’t know. She hasn’t moved since you left, Princess.” The distant voice sounded like Apple Bloom, but I wasn’t feeling confident in my ability to tell reality from illusion.

Someone sighed before saying, “Alright, I’ll talk to her. Why don’t you two—Sweetie Belle, what are you doing?”

“Umm, patting Miss Gears’s pet.”

“Why don’t you two go see if your sisters are here yet?” Two sets of hooves rushed outside through the unblocked exit.

Wait, unblocked exit? They were going to get in if I didn’t fix the barricade immediately! I needed to—

“Gears.”

I jumped away as something touched my shoulder, but instead of putting a safe distance between my attacker and me, I collided with my coffee table and tumbled over it. Poking my head over a piece of furniture that should have still been in the barricade, I sighed at the very much alive pony giving me a concerned look. “Oh, it’s just you, Twilight.”

“Are you alright?” she asked as she helped me to my hooves.

“A bit sore from that little stumble but nothing serious.”

“Do you know where you are right now?”

“My address, or do you want the latitude and longitude?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You know what I’m asking.”

“I’m home.” It was a good thing she hadn’t asked for latitude and longitude, since I didn’t even know what hemisphere Equestria was in. “They were never out there, were they?”

Twilight shook her head as she sat on the couch. On any other day, I would have reminded her she lit the old one on fire. “No, they weren’t.”

Taking a seat next to her would have taken too much energy, so I just sank back to the floor and noticed how badly it needed to be swept. Why was I so tired? “It’s fainter, but I can still hear them. I really thought I was doing better.”

“You’ve been working yourself too hard this week, so it’s understandable that your nerves are a little frayed.”

“I’ve been busy. You know, I could have sworn I put up a barricade. Did I just imagine that too?”

“Oh, sorry. I put everything back in its place. Did I miss something?”

“Nothing I can see.” Not that I would have noticed unless she’d put something back upside down. “I really bungled tonight, didn’t I? Held Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle captive, shoved Scootaloo, and signalled an emergency alarm over a hallucination.”

Twilight nodded. “It could have gone better.”

“Loads better. So much for my first Nightmare Night, huh?” I had to chuckle at that one. If their holiday analogs were in the same order, Hearth’s Warming would be next, right?

“Oh right, I forgot about that. I’m sorry it turned out this way, Gears.”

I held up a hoof. “It’s my fault entirely. Who did Scootaloo end up getting?”

“Rainbow Dash, of course. But Rainbow was talking with Applejack at the time, and well—”

“Where is she? Where is that foalnapping varmint?” There was no mistaking that accent, which meant Applehat was on my doorstep. Though I had to admit that being called a “varmint” made me laugh a bit inside.

“Yeah, that could be a problem.”

“I’ll go talk with her.”

“No, I’ll explain it. I’m not going to hide behind you, Twilight.”

“And that’s fine, but if I don’t talk with her, you won’t get a chance to explain.” Twilight stopped halfway to the door and looked over her shoulder. “You still have a little time to figure out what you want to say.”

The conversation outside faded as I mulled over the impending explanation. How much did I want to tell them? Hopefully Twilight would stay around to verify things, because there was no chance they’d take everything I said as truth. Still, they needed something more detailed than “sorry, I thought the zombies were back.” My reaction had been completely reasonable for what I’d thought I’d seen, but it would take a lot of convincing to make them see it that way.

“Gears, get out here!” Oh great, now Dash was there too. At least Twilight was helping a little, otherwise my door would have been knocked down by now.

“I’d rather not.”

Dash glared at me through a window. “Either you come out, or we come in!”

“Rainbow Dash, get down from there!”

“No way, Twilight. I want answers, and I want them now!”

The sound of flapping wings signalled the arrival of another pegasus. “Rainbow Dash and Applejack, please tell me why you are preparing to break down Sterling Gears’s door.”

The Crusaders gasped and shouted, “Princess Luna!” Correction: the sound of flapping wings had signalled the arrival of another alicorn.

I clamped a hoof over my mouth to stifle a groan. Wait, if Luna had shown up, that could work to my advantage. She’d seen zombies. Heck, she’d fought them with me. I warily looked out the window, ready to duck at a moment’s notice.

Luna smiled at the Crusaders. “Good evening, girls. I trust you are having a good Nightmare Night?”

Applejack noticed me peeking out of the window and shot me a glare that could have levelled a barn. “They were until Sterling here pushed Scootaloo away and foalnapped the other two.”

Luna frowned as she looked at me and then the Crusaders. Her eyes lingered on Scootaloo for a few moments before she nodded. “I see. Twilight Sparkle, do you have anything to add?”

Twilight sighed with relief and nodded. “There was a reason for Sterling’s actions. I was going to let her explain after I’d made sure such a discussion could be held civilly.”

“Ms. Gears was scared,” Apple Bloom said quietly. She gulped and spoke a bit louder. “I think she thought Scootaloo was a real zompony.”

I hated the word “zompony” so much. Maybe I’d start a “stop using ‘pony’ to replace the end of words” movement.

“Ha! Told you my costume was scary and awesome.” Scootaloo grinned. Some carefully applied makeup and ruffled fur should not have spooked me so badly.

Applejack snorted. “Really? That’s what this was all about?” She turned towards the window and shouted, “You foalnapped my sister because of a fictional monster!”

“Applejack, please!” Twilight stood in front of her. “You have to stay calm.”

Not wanting shouting ponies outside my house all night, I stormed out the front door. “You want an explanation? You’ll get an explanation. All of it. But I’m not saying a word with the Crusaders here.” I gestured towards them.

Applejack frowned and took a step towards me. “I don’t think you have a say in what my sister does or doesn’t do.”

“Applejack.” Luna was quiet, but she was just as proficient with authoritative tones as her sister. “Rainbow Dash. The hour is late. Return these three to their homes so that they may sleep.”

Three fillies quietly groaned.

Applejack continued to stare at me as she said, “Sure thing, Princess Luna. But I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.” She turned back to me and glared. “And then you’ll talk, and it better be good.”

“Just get going already.” With a sigh, I turned towards the Crusaders. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Sweetie. “Well, what you did wasn’t okay, but nobody got hurt.”

As Applejack and Dash led them away, Scootaloo called back, “You owe us candy.” She shrugged as Apple Bloom nudged her. “What? She does.”

Angry Applejack made plenty of sense, but Dash hadn’t said a word since I got outside. A quiet Dash was never a good thing—it usually meant she was hiding for a prank, but she definitely wasn’t in the mood for something as benign as spiking my milk with hot sauce.

Once all five of them were out of earshot, Luna spoke. “I should have anticipated this.”

“You expected me to freak out over a Hallo—sorry—Nightmare Night costume? That’s not really something you can blame yourself for.”

She nodded. “I should have realized it was a possibility. I saw young Scootaloo’s costume earlier but gave it no thought.”

My eyes kept sliding off of Luna as she stood in the dark. “Did the two of you want to come inside?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Even though most of the furniture was pony-sized, the building’s dimensions were better suited for diamond dogs. Of course, that just meant I had “more” house to run around in. “I find it funny how you’re better sized for my home than me. I’m not that much shorter than the average pony, but then again, most ponies are a little short to you, right?”

Luna chuckled. “In a way, yes. The doors are quite tall in Canterlot Castle, so Celestia forgets to duck on occasion.”

“Really? That sounds hilarious.” I had to laugh at the mental image of Celestia catching her horn on a doorframe. “Either of you want a drink? I don’t think I have much left in the way of tea.” It wasn’t that I hated the stuff—I’d just never bothered restocking. “But I do have some alcohol.” Realizing how that might have sounded, I added, “And no, I haven’t drank a lot tonight. I’ve really just been nursing a single mug of rock ale.”

Luna raised her brow. “I was not under the assumption it had affected your actions. Would you happen to have any mead?”

“None in here, sorry. There might be some down in the storerooms, but I really doubt it. We imported a couple things but the vast majority of our alcohol is made by Spot from stuff we have.” Mushrooms and rocks were in no short supply. “And we don’t have any apiaries. Or dogs interested in beekeeping.” Though one of them had accidentally kicked a beehive while on the surface a while ago—I’d tried very hard not to laugh when he’d started screaming, “Not the bees!”

“A pity. I will have whatever you recommend then.”

“Twilight?”

She shook her head. “No thanks. I’m not much of a drinker.”

“I know, but I figured I’d ask.”

“We really need to talk about this before Applejack and Rainbow Dash come back, Sterling.”

I waved a hoof at her and walked out of the room. “I know, Twilight. I’m not going to take forever.” I wasn’t procrastinating so much as preempting tonight’s need for a drink.

The alcohol was kept separate from the food, mostly because the pantry was too full of nonperishables to hold any. Since it was all good stuff, I was going to pick one at random, but then I spotted the cask stamped with the seal of the Griffon Kingdoms, a gift from the Griffon Ambassador.

“Good news, Luna, I did have mead,” I said as I re-entered the living room, balancing a tall mug on my back. Carrying stuff like that was rather easy once you got used to it. “Forgot about the Misty Aerie stuff Camillo sent me.”

Luna smiled as she took the mug. “Most excellent. Thank you, Sterling.”

Twilight watched Luna’s drink warily, like the mead was going to shoot down her throat if she took her eyes off it. “What about your medication, Gears?”

“Haven’t taken it for the last few days. Throws me off too much to get a lot of work done.” And I’d been cautious ever since a tinkering mishap had almost taken off my ear. Was already missing enough parts, thank you very much.

Her snout wrinkled as she looked between me and the drink. “Alright. We should really start talking about this though. Gears, how much are you going to tell them?”

Sitting down, I shrugged. “Whatever I need to. I’m not going to give them my life’s story, but this whole mess will get cleared up a lot quicker if I don’t beat around the bush.”

“As my sister and I have said, Sterling Gears, it is your secret to tell. Just keep in mind what impact your words may have.” Though the few flecks of foam clinging to her muzzle ruined any impact her words might have had.

I nodded, debating if I should tell her about the foam. “I just might need a little help proving it’s the truth. Don’t take this the wrong way, Luna, but I really didn’t expect you to show up tonight.”

Instead of getting offended, the usual reaction to somebody saying “don’t take this the wrong way,” she chuckled. “Is it so wrong of me to visit a friend on one of the few nights I am able to? Also, I mentioned in my last letter that I would be stopping by tonight.”

“Right.” I sighed, sincerely regretting how much I’d let myself slip over the last few days. “I lost track of what day it was.”

Luna frowned as she looked me over, humming occasionally. “You need rest, Sterling Gears.” She sniffed, and her nose wrinkled. “As well as a long soak in the tub. You smell of sweat, smoke, and what I suspect is burnt thaumite.” Yeah, that sounded about right for Eau de Sterling.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Gears.” Twilight sighed and rubbed her forehead. “What’s stopping this from happening again? Despite your good intentions, what you did was illegal. You could be arrested before the night is over.”

“What do you want me to do, Twilight? What do you want me to say? I know I screwed up—you don’t need to keep reminding me about my mistakes.” The throbbing headache grew stronger every time I thought about my earlier delusion, and it was impossible to get my mind off it. “Really, if you have any ideas, I’d like to hear them, because I got nothing more than just explaining things to them.”

“I believe Twilight Sparkle was referring to what could be done to prevent this situation from reoccurring.”

Rubbing my head did nothing to stop the pain, but it’s not like that had ever stopped anybody from doing it. “Right, sorry. I still don’t know then. I don’t think I want to load up on medications though, if that’s even an option in the first place. I could just avoid getting this stressed again. Oh, and I’ll put up some ‘no zombies allowed’ signs. See? That’s double the defense.”

Luna sat silently for a couple moments before chuckling. “I do not believe that would be effective enough.” Her smile flattened as she continued, “My sister was mistaken in believing the occasional meeting between the two of you would be enough.”

“But—”

Luna held up a hoof to silence Twilight’s protest. “My apologies. I should have been more clear. This has nothing to do with your actions, Twilight Sparkle, and if I have heard correctly, you have once again exceeded expectations. But if Sterling is to continue her recovery, more must be done, as the situation is slowly becoming more dire.” Her eyes locked onto mine. “Your dreams are growing worse again.”

Of course they were. I bet it’s all—what had Luna named that thing again? Barista, right? Yeah, let’s go with that—Barista’s fault. You just can’t trust extrauniversal parasites these days. “I knew that thing was bad news. Should have annihilated it the moment we pulled it off my dreams.”

A hurt look crossed Luna’s face for a moment. “Barinzan is not at fault here, Sterling. I know you do not trust him, but he has done nothing to interfere with any dreams ever since we first visited yours.”

“Sorry, I just don’t enjoy the idea of heading back in there.” Quite a bit of it was cathartic, but it wasn’t a fun event the whole family could enjoy.

Luna’s mane stayed more-or-less in place as she shook her head. “This is not something that can be repaired in such a matter. The dreams are merely a symptom of the actual problem, but it is too early to say if it is a different facet of what caused your earlier delusion, or if it is a separate issue.”

“Which is?” My tail reminded me of its existence by twitching anxiously.

It took a few minutes before Luna sighed and answered, “I do not know. Small parts of your dreams are… missing. I have never seen anything like it before, though I suspect it may be related to your journey through the Between.”

The word made my skin crawl, and I shuddered. “You can’t make me go back there. I refuse to go back there!” The table shook as my hoof pounded it.

“Sterling, neither my sister nor I would ask such a thing. You have my word,” Luna said quietly. Her ears perked up, and she sighed. “The time has come for me to return to Canterlot. It was good speaking with you, though I pray my next visit is at a better time. I will continue looking into the issue.”

Nodding slightly, I sighed and slumped in my seat as much as was physically possible for something with a skeletal structure. She hadn’t said anything that would imply I’d be going back into the Between, but I’d still freaked out a little, and that made me worry even more. “Thanks, Luna. Thanks for everything.”

As the door closed behind Luna, Twilight finally spoke again. “Gears, why didn’t you say something if you were having issues with your dreams?”

“I didn’t know.” The front door continued to hold my attention. Soon, there would be more ponies entering my home, and they wouldn’t be as pleasant as Luna. Or as tall. “Usually don’t remember my dreams when I wake up. I just go about my day. Good to know there will always be something for me to worry about though. Can’t have me getting complacent, right?”

Twilight’s smile was comforting but not enough to hide how much the situation bothered her. “Don’t worry, Gears. You’ll get through this, and I’ll be there to help every step of the way.”

The dirt outside did little to muffle the stomps approaching my door.

“Took them long enough.” I sighed. Well, bring it on. The sooner this was over with, the sooner I could go to bed. “You know, the pack should have broken through my floor by now. I really don’t want them to pop up and assume I’m in danger from Dash and Applejack.”

Twilight nodded. “Last I checked, Pinkie was convincing the pack that the alarm was a drill.”

“Good thinking.”

Applejack’s abuse rattled the front door in its frame, making it sound like my home was afraid of her wrath. “Open up, Gears.”

“It’s still not locked,” I called before turning to Twilight and asking, “Could you catch the door in case she throws it open?”

“Applejack isn’t going to—” Twilight jumped as the door slammed open, two deep imprints clearly visible on its surface. “Applejack! That was completely uncalled for!”

“The hay it wasn’t!”

I could feel Applejack’s hatred as she entered my home. There was a good chance something would burst into flames from getting too close to her, and I was worried I’d have to get a new couch once again. Applejack was not a happy pony, nor was she a silly pony. Behind her floated Dash, who was still upsettingly quiet. It was not much of a surprise to see Rarity walk in last, fighting the urge to yawn.

“Applejack, we are adults and should behave as such.” Rarity stopped walking as she lost the battle and yawned, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Excuse me. That said, Sterling, I hope you have an explanation for your earlier actions.”


There was another loud stomp from Applejack, and I could have sworn the floorboards cracked a bit. “What’s there to explain? Gears is a foalnapping nutjob.”

“Then why the fuck are you here, Applejack? Did you only show up just so you could insult me?” I took a step towards Applejack, suddenly noticing that she’s quite a bit taller than I am. If a fight broke out between us, I’d have to play dirty. Option A: go for the eyes. Option B: hold her hat hostage. “Do you even care about what happened?”

A bit of magic grabbed my tail and pulled me back as Twilight said, “Both of you need to stop. Applejack, stop being so hostile. Gears, stop egging her on.”

I snorted. “Excuse me for not wanting my stuff damaged.”

Twilight frowned at me. “Enough, Gears.”

I had to bite my lip to stop another comment. Applejack was being a bitch, but Twilight didn’t deserve it. “Does anybody want something to drink? I don’t know how long you’re all going to be here tonight.”

Dash nodded. “Cider. Hard if you got it.”

Rarity smiled. “Water, please.”

Applejack just frowned. “I’m good.”

Once all the drinks had been given to their owners, I took a seat and began what I hoped was a good explanation that’d stop me from getting arrested. “First off, I am sorry for what I did. I was… wrong about what I saw when the Crusaders knocked on my door.”

Dash spoke slowly, making sure to pronounce each word clearly. “It was just a costume. Zomponies aren’t real, Gears.”

“Zombies. And I’m glad I was wrong. Zombies still don’t exist here, but they’re what I was running away from when I came to Equestria.”

Applejack snorted. “Baloney!”

Twilight sighed and spoke quietly. “She’s telling the truth, Applejack. I’ve seen them in the memories I viewed after we defeated that shadow creature.”

“Grue.” Hey, I only shuddered a little bit that time.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It didn’t have a name, Gears.”

“That’s why I gave him one.” Easier to curse something when it has a name.

Applejack, Rarity, and Dash wore undecipherable expressions as they processed Twilight’s reassurance that I wasn’t talking out of my plot, as disturbingly amusing as that would have been.

Dash was the first to start talking again. “So what you’re saying is that somewhere out there—” she waved a hoof towards the window, “—is a bunch of brain-eating monsters?”

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she shook her head hurriedly. “No, no, no. Well, I guess they are out there, but they’re so far away the distance can’t be properly measured. There is no chance they could find a way here.”

Applejack scoffed. “What, is Gears an alien or something? Because she looks an awful lot like a pony to me unless she’s a changeling or something.”

Rarity sipped her water and nodded. “This is all more than a little farfetched, Twilight.”

“I wasn’t always a pony. That’s just what this universe turned me into.” Of course, that just made them more confused.

“That’s all fine and dandy,” Applejack said loudly, “But I don’t see what this has to do with you foalnapping my sister and her friends.”

“When they came to the door, I saw Scootaloo as a zombie, not just a pony in a costume. I thought Equestria was about to go through the same thing my old world did.” It’s never easy to admit you hallucinated and committed a felony because of it.

Dash raised her hoof. “Can we go back to the part where Gears is an alien?” She lowered the same hoof she had just raised until it was pointing at me. “Is this why you were walking weird the first couple days after you came to Ponyville?”

“Maybe? Nobody told me I was walking weird.” In fact, I’d thought I’d figured out walking by then. “Twilight, was I walking weird?”

She nodded slowly. “I think so, but I don’t have many memories where you’re walking on an uninjured leg.” After a moment, she winced and said, “Sorry, Gears.”

I sighed. “And yet nobody said anything.”

“Of course, Sterling. That would have been rude,” Rarity said.

The cups on the table rattled as Applejack slammed her hoof down. “I don’t care if Gears is from the next town over or the next planet over. She foalnapped two fillies and attacked a third!”

“Hey! I just pushed her away. I thought she was undead and going after Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.” It was a good thing the situation had prevented me from doing more than that. The alternative was something that I didn’t want to think about. “I thought I was protecting them.”

Applejack sneered. “What you thought happened and what actually happened are two different things.”

“You think I don’t know that? This isn’t me trying to get sympathy.”

“Then what do you want, Gears?” Applejack looked ready to jump out of her seat and throttle me. “Why are we here listening to your excuses?”

“I…” Why did I want them here? What was I hoping to get out of this little exchange? Admittedly, I really didn’t want to get arrested for this, but there are very few situations where somebody would want to get thrown in the slammer. “I guess I just want you to know that this isn’t something fictional I hallucinated about because I read too many scary stories when I was younger.”

“So that’s it. You just don’t want to be seen as crazy.”

Twilight lightly stamped her hoof. “Applejack, that’s enough! You’ve been nothing but hostile, and I’m starting to wonder if this meeting was a bad idea.”

“I have to agree with Twilight.” Rarity nodded. “I understand that you’re upset, but this just… troubling.”

Applejack frowned at both of them. “I have my reasons.” Then she turned a hateful glare on me and said, “Gears, you showed up in Ponyville at just about the same time those… things appeared.” The emphasis she put on “things” sent fingers of ice down my spine. “Did you have anything to do with that?”

Dash raised an eyebrow as she set down her drink. “AJ…”

I’d have to be careful about my next words. This was like navigating a minefield while being chased by rabid bears. Even worse, I’d never won a game of Minesweeper without setting the field to max size with the minimum number of mines. “Not on purpose—” an orange blur was my only warning before a blunt object crushed my muzzle and knocked me out of my seat. Had somebody just smacked me with a tangerine sledgehammer?

The screaming of others brought some semblance of clarity back to my scrambled thoughts, as did the pointy object stuck in my throat. Gagging and choking, I tried to focus on what the hell had just happened and why there was quite a bit of blood in my mouth.

“—all dead, and it’s her fault!”

Twilight’s face filled my vision. “Gears! Can you hear me.”

All that came out of my mouth was a strangled cough. Oh right, choking, and I still didn’t know the pony Heimlich.

“Hold still, Gears. I’ll remove whatever you’re choking on.”

There wasn’t much point in telling me to hold still if she was just going to use magic to make sure I didn’t fidget as she yanked the object out of my windpipe. Twilight frowned as she looked at it, then back in my mouth. She turned away from me as I started to stand up. “You punched her hard enough to knock out a tooth, Applejack, and she almost choked on it!” That was a punch? Holy hell, what was her motto, float like a butterfly and sting like a cruise missile? And how did she only knock out one?

“I’ll take that, Twilight,” Rarity said as she took the tooth and made for the kitchen. “This needs to be rinsed with and placed in a glass of milk immediately.” Then she quietly said, “Never thought I’d need to know this for somepony other than Sweetie and her friends.”

Applejack snarled as she struggled against Dash, who strained to keep her from charging at me again. “I would have done a lot more if y’all weren’t protecting that murderer.”

She’d socked me in my own home and probably wouldn’t have stopped until I was a bloody pulp, and that was after she’d spend most of her visit insulting me. She’d just been looking for a reason to hit me, hadn’t she?

Not in my house. Glorious battle would be joined, and I would regain my honor by headbutting that look off Applejack’s face.

It’s quite uncomfortable to have your charge interrupted by a bit of magic grabbing your tail. If you have enough momentum, it feels like your spine is about to be yanked out your backside. Not pleasant at all, which is why I turned my glare on the pony responsible after I’d picked myself up off the floor again. “I liked that tooth, Twilight!” Godammit, I sounded hilarious.

Rarity sighed as she trotted back into the room. “No more fighting, please! We’re here to find a peaceful resolution.”

Spitting a glob of blood onto the floor made Rarity and Twilight wince, but what was I supposed to do, leave it all in my mouth? Besides, it wasn’t like I’d never cleaned blood off a floor. “Yeah, that’s what I wanted too, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight. Let go of my tail, please.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to behave?”

“Oh hell no.” I chuckled, then glared at Applejack, who was still struggling against Rainbow Dash. “She attacked me. I want payback.”

Rarity sighed again as she stepped in front of me. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, Sterling. I don’t agree with what Applejack did, but you don’t need to do the same.”

“I don’t see why y’all are being so pleasant with a murderer. If it weren’t for her, all those ponies would still be around today.” Applejack locked eyes with Dash. “Scootaloo would still have her parents.”

Well, that’d answered any questions I’d had about whether Scootaloo was an orphan, but I hadn’t expected it to be my fault. Sure, I’d been manipulated into bringing Grue over, but that didn’t change the fact that if I hadn’t built the portal—no, I’m not falling into that trap. Nice try, guilt. If I hadn’t built that portal, Grue would have kept hopping universes until he found somebody who would, no matter how many he destroyed along the way. Difference is, we’d stopped him. We’d won. Nothing about what had happened was directly my fault.

“If it weren’t for me, somebody else would have been tricked into bringing the big bad here. Somebody who probably wouldn’t have designed a totally awesome explosive that ended up killing him.”

“You don’t know that!” Applejack’s hooves scraped against the ground, and Rainbow Dash was struggling to keep her back. “Let me go, RD!”

“And neither do you. I know what happens when it wins. I’ve seen it. I don’t hate whoever was tricked into bringing it to the world I used to live on, since I know exactly how it feels to watch everything die as you follow the instructions, hoping you’ll finish the way out before there isn’t anybody else to leave with you. But with that thing pulling the strings, you’re only done once it’s cleaned its plate.” It’s incredibly difficult to sound dramatic when I’d just had a tooth knocked out—it’s like attending a symphony while somebody in the audience used a slide whistle.

The horrified expressions would have been satisfying if Applejack had been wearing one instead of Dash and Rarity. Unfortunately, Twilight still had hold of my tail, so I couldn’t use this opportunity to get a few punches in. Why did Twilight have to ruin my rightful vengeance?

“And we’re supposed to believe that?”

Twilight stepped forward and looked her in the eye. “Applejack, you’re my friend, but so is Sterling. I can’t let you two keep fighting like this. You haven’t even tried to listen to her. Will you even listen when I say she’s been telling the truth?”

For a few moments, it looked like Applejack was going to start arguing with Twilight, but instead, she turned back to me and calmly said, “Innocent or not, Sterling, stay away from my family. I better not see you anywhere near Sweet Apple Acres.”

“I’ve never been there.” It was a little amusing that I’d lived here for a few months and managed to never set hoof on one of the largest—and most famous if you’d seen the show—apple orchards in Equestria.

“Then it shouldn’t be any trouble for you to avoid.” Applejack turned around and headed for the door, allowing Dash to relax slightly. “Got it?”

“As long as you don’t get pissy if your family comes to me for something.” Running into the Crusaders again was pretty much a certainty, and I didn’t need Applejack throwing a fit if one of their schemes brought them nearby. Besides, who else would they visit if they wanted to try for thaumite-related cutie marks?

“I’m not unreasonable, Gears.”

“Tell that to my tooth.”

Applejack snorted as she closed the door behind her. Good riddance.

With her finally out of the way, we could get back to the important stuff. “Alright, let’s get that tooth reinserted,” I said, pointing at my muzzle. “And let go of my damn tail, please.”

“The best thing would be to get you to a dentist as soon as possible. Twilight, do you mind contacting her?”

Relinquishing the end of my spine with a sigh, Twilight said, “I’ll go find Minuette then. With any luck, she’s at home.”

I gestured towards the door, only mildly miffed that the dentist’s name wasn’t Colgate. “Let’s go then.”

Twilight shook her head. “I’ll be teleporting, Gears. Between your tendency to get sick and the risk of losing the tooth, it’ll be safer if I do it on my own and bring her here. I won’t be long.” Before I could protest, she teleported away.

“While she’s doing that, Sterling, go rinse your mouth with warm water,” Rarity said as she pointed towards the kitchen.

Reinserting teeth was not something I’d done a lot, but I still had a little experiencing putting them back in. Unfortunately with the lack of precision hooves possessed, my only decent option was to wait for a unicorn willing to jam the chunk of enamel back into my gum. “Alright,” I said with a nod.

A few minutes later after I’d finished, Twilight reappeared with a blue unicorn and a small bag labelled “Dental House Call Bag”. I’d had no idea there were dentists who made house calls. Also, how had I forgotten house calls existed? I’d never have to go to a hospital, clinic, or any other medical deathtrap again!

“Where’s the tooth?” she immediately asked.

“Right here, Minuette.” Rarity levitated the tooth out of the glass of milk and gave it to the dentist. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Of course, though I’ll admit I usually don’t get patients until a few weeks after Nightmare Night.” After inspecting the tooth for a few moments, she nodded with satisfaction and turned to me. “Alright, Sterling, let’s take care of this avulsed tooth. This… won’t be pleasant.”

It wasn’t. Minuette didn’t take the time to give me any sort of anaesthetic—she just grabbed the tooth, held my jaw open, and shoved the tooth in like a shiv.

“You need to floss more,” she said as she inspected the surrounding teeth.

“Nng oo?” I asked through the gauze in my mouth. I was pretty sure only having hooves was a fantastic excuse for not flossing.

“That’s no excuse. I’ve seen plenty of earth ponies floss effectively.”

How the hell did they manage that? “Nnh.”

“When was the last time you visited a dentist?”

“Ik eer.”

“Six years is far too long. Your teeth are going to fall out of your head if you don’t take better care of them.”

I gave her a deadpan stare.

Minuette rolled her eyes. “On their own, Sterling.”

Fortunately, her examination didn’t last too much longer, and she left me alone after extorting a promise to visit her office tomorrow. A dentist’s office would be different enough from a hospital, right? And I did want to keep my teeth.

A minute after Minuette left, Twilight, Dash and Rarity filed back into the room, ruining my plans to just lay on the couch until I conked out. “I didn’t know you were all still here.”

“Well, yeah, Gears,” Dash said, “We’re not done yet.” She looked into the empty mug she’d carried outside. “And can I have more cider?”

Rarity sighed as she took a seat again. “Rainbow, do you really need more cider?”

Dash rolled her eyes. “No, but I like the taste.”


“So did you just stand out there waiting for Minuette to leave?” I asked after I’d refilled Dash’s cider.

Rarity cleared her throat with a dainty cough. “While we have a better idea why you did what you did, the fact remains that you did it. You’ve been polite and fair every time we’ve done business, but I need to look out for my sister. I don’t want to press charges, but you need help, Sterling.”

“And a break. You need that too,” Dash added with a sagely nod.

“Can’t really slow down with everything I need to do.”

“Sure you can. Take a nap now and then. Even if you can’t do it on a cloud, everypony needs some extra rest. Not to mention you look dead tired all the time.” Dash guzzled the rest of her cider and set down the mug a bit harder than she’d probably meant to. “Because this better not happen again, Gears. I mean it.”

After that bombshell that Applejack had dropped, I’d figured Dash would have been more confrontational. “So therapy, naps, and what else? An ankle bracelet?” Since Luna had also told me to get some rest, naps sounded like a fantastic idea. Therapy, not so much.

“Er, that’s a little random.”

Right, should have guessed they wouldn’t have something like that. Well, they might, but it’d probably just be a spell. “Never mind.”

Dash nodded. “Alien thing. Got it.”

“I’d also recommend not going anywhere near Applejack until she calms down,” Rarity added.

“Yeah, don’t need to tell me twice. I’ve got a good idea how upset she is.” My muzzle would probably be hurting for most of the day unless I started taking my pain medication again. I’d been doing so good too.

“I believe that’s everything we wanted to discuss,” Rarity said as she stood. “It is time for me to return home and sleep.”

“Alright, thanks for not punching me in the face as well.”

Rarity scoffed. “I would never do something so barbaric. Just don’t forget what we talked about, Sterling.”

“Believe me, I won’t. Goodnight, Rarity.”

“Goodnight,” she replied as she closed the door behind her.

“Yeah, I should probably get some sleep as well. Gears… I don’t blame you for Scootaloo’s parents or any of the other ponies those monsters got. You helped take out the big bad, with bonus points for the awesome explosions.” Dash smirked as she lightly punched my shoulder. “Just get some sleep, okay? I won’t be so nice next time.”

After Dash left, I made my way to the couch and flopped onto it. Laying on my back was kind of uncomfortable but not uncomfortable enough that I wanted to roll over. “So why am I not being arrested right now?”

“They’re more forgiving than you think, Gears.”

“And I suppose Applejack doesn’t want to get in trouble with the law for nearly inverting my muzzle.”

“Do you want me to stay here tonight, Gears?”

The innuendo died on my lips, my desire to make Twilight blush and feel awkward was completely gone—more proof that I needed to get some sleep. “No, I’ll be fine. Thanks though. Tonight would have gone a lot worse if you hadn’t been there.”

“Of course, Gears. That’s what friends are for. You sure you don’t want me to stay? It’s no trouble at all.”

I rolled off the couch and located my pouch of bits. “No, but can you do me a favor? If I give you some bits, do you mind taking the Crusaders down to Bon Bon’s shop? Scootaloo wasn’t wrong when she said I owed them candy.”

Twilight smiled. “Yes, I can do that. That’s very thoughtful of you, Gears.” She stared at the bits I dumped onto the table. “That’s way too much, Gears.”

“Hey, that’s how much I would have spent on candy to give out anyway, and they’re the only foals who came to collect. Shouldn’t really do it myself though.”

“Alright, you made your point.” Twilight chuckled as she took the bits. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gears. Everything’s going to work out.”

I nodded. “Eventually.”

Once Twilight had left, I debated for all of two seconds whether to clean up or go to bed. The dirty dishes and bloodstain could wait until tomorrow. Hopefully Luna could figure out whatever was going on with my dreams. Sleeping in a little bit would help her out, right?

I paused at my bedroom door and looked back over my shoulder. There was one more thing that needed to be done.

After feeding it half a sheet of stamps, I patted the mailbox. “There you go.”

Now I could go to bed.

Author's Note:

Feels so good to finally get a new chapter out. I'm so sorry for the super long delay—it drives me nuts when authors don't update their stories.

As for what caused the delay, well, I can't really say exactly what happened, but I promise it didn't involve me ending up with hooves and going on an epic quest to reclaim my hands. If I wanted to search for humanity, I'd load up Dark Souls for the first time in a year or so.