• Member Since 20th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 15th, 2018

PlumBuckeredOut


"I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of. I write to do all the things the viewers want too..." -Joss Whedon

T
Source

A story of judicial vengeance. A tale of ill-fated love. How far would you go to save your homeland's destruction? How far would it take for your love to convince you otherwise? For Celestia, she'll find out it isn't as simple as yes or no, wrong or right.

In this verse: Discord isn't born with his chaotic power, but gains it. The royal pony sisters are orphaned, and Celestia is the same height as her sister, and has pink hair. Luna looks like her season one counterpart.

Caution: This story's Romance tag might go from Teen to Mature in future updates.

Cover art is Lysok's "Meeting" @ Deviantart.com

Chapters (24)
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Comments ( 74 )

This is really interesting and I am curious to see where this is going.
But, I am gonna be a finicky little bitch and say one word. Proofread. You must be really busy but I still had to say it.:twilightblush:
Anywho... it's still a good story though. :rainbowkiss:

4417531 With a new job I come home tired,but I agree. I'll make sure to proofread them,even if I have to do the "back-burner" trick.

4419536 So... how is that new job going? I still have to experience it myself. :twilightoops:

4421196 Whew, it's something... I mean I had real confidence when i made my resume that the words "quick learner" and "team player" would perfect words to describe me, but... low and behold I find a job that challenges my definitions of "quick vs fast".

I worked christmas week in a mall, and that feels simple in compare to my new job.:pinkiesick: Thanks for asking, no one has yet.:heart:

4421222 I was debating. I didn't want to be rude by prying but I just could not ask. :twilightsheepish:

4421232 For me it's not prying, I think we are good enough friends that you can ask about my work/life and whatnot. :raritystarry:

4421253 Sweet:coolphoto:
But now I am at a loss. I have asked about your work and your life. But I have absolutely no idea what to ask about your whatnot. :raritywink:

4421280 :rainbowlaugh: Thanks, again. (you're humor helps me fight my work-stress.:heart:)

4421285 heheh. 'work-stress' I don't look forward to that once I manage to get my own. :twilightsheepish:

Can all ponies feel an intrusion into their mind or just him? I think it would be cool if it was linked to his visions and that only he can sense another's mind in his.

4452887 *points out that Norm De Par isn't a Pony*

4457567

Can all ponies feel an intrusion into their mind or just him?

is worded in such a way that it sounded like you are asking if Norm is like other ponies.

4458112 "Can all Equestrian species feel an intrusion into their mind, or just him?"

4458127 It hasn't been stated in the canon,but for my AU I think any creature with an ali has some psychic sensitivity.

Spoilers:
Norm and his ancestors are more sensitive from honing said sensitivity.

Oh, so they know each other do they? :trollestia:

4503986 Did the chapter not reveal that :O?

4504129 The most recent chapter did. But the previous ones did not.

4504265 *gasps* I GOT A SMOO- *faints* :trollestia:

4504267 :pinkiecrazy: Yes... The lipstick does work! *drags into him into her lov'n cave, and gets down to business*:pinkiehappy:

4504277 *cracks open eye, then jumps up suddenly* "SURPRISE MOTHERFUC- wait what lipstick?" *lipstick kicks in* wha! "wa kant mahv!"

4504287 * buckers the plum right out of you...*:trollestia:

Cliffhanger!
Even if it is minor.

What... Who... Why... WHAT?!?!?! Is Norm early Discord? :twilightoops:

4536375

In this verse: Discord isn't born with his chaotic power, but gains it.

Yes.:twilightsmile:

You're drastically misusing thee, thou and thy.

Thee, thou and thy are forms of the same pronoun, and it means the same thing as you. "Thy" does not mean "I" and never did. The conjugation is best compared to "I", "he" or "she" to demonstrate the different forms:

"I", "thou", "he", "she"
"me", "thee", "him", "her"
"my", "thy", "his", "her"
"mine", "thine", "his", "hers"

So if the subject of the sentence is "you" and you are changing it to "thou", then use "thou" where you would have used "I", "he" or "she", "thee" where you would have used "me," "him" or "her", and so forth.

Thou takes verbs that end in -est or -th, mostly. So thou dost or doth, thou art (this is irregular), thou goest, thou sayest, where you'd otherwise say you do, you are, you go, you say. For past tense, thou wert, thou didst, but thou went, thou said, because most of the past tense verbs don't change.

Thou is familiar or directed downward. This confuses everyone because the Bible has "thou" for God, and theoretically we should be talking up to God, but the idea was that God is your father and therefore you use "thou" because He's familiar. Thou is used for family members, close friends, and subordinates. A member of the royal guard would not use "thou" to a Princess but the Princesses would use it with each other. Also, thou is only singular. If speaking to both princesses at once, it has to be "you"; thou can't mean two or more.

Sorry, but this chapter was almost unreadable because of the pronoun misuse. Please fix it. The story's good, I'd like to be able to understand what the hell it says though.

I appreciate the help, I'll give the end of chapter 6 and all of chapter 7 a good comb through with my middle english usage.

I tried looking up the terms via the internet, hence the confusion in prose. So am I reading this right?

thoust = I **
thou = you (when addressing a single, familiar person. "proper")
Thee = you, me, him, her ("improper")
Thy= your, my, his, her
Thine=yours, his, hers, mine

For examples:

" 'Twas nothing... art thee alright?" She asked. ( It was nothing... are you alright?) Luna doesn't know Norm that well, so she doesn't use thou, but should she use thou because of his Princehood?

"Doth thee remember what happened at the castle?" (Do you remember what happened at the castle?) one again should she say thou because if his princehood?

"Yes thy does dear Luna, Thy also requests thoust speak plainly..."( This sentence isn't supposed to make grammatical sense, since Norm is purposefully tensing Luna on how silly it sounds to him.)


** I forgot that thou'st means thou hast. So do you really use the same word to say he/she and you would to address yourself?

so does...
Thou is tired = I am tired
(how would one know if the speaker is talking about himself being tired, or declaring another he knows as being tired?)

4552381 If I had the proper mic and audio applications, I'd sing it for you.:twilightsmile:

My apologies, I thought I published this chapter already.:raritydespair:

4555118

Uh, no, thoust is not I, it's you. No derivation of "thou" is "I". I don't know where you got that from; when I put "thoust" into the Google, the first thing I get is that it's an alternate of thou, similar to while and whilst. Spelled thou'st, it would indeed be thou hast.

"Thee" is not improper when used as second person object (similar to me, her, him), but is not proper archaic English when used as a subject. So "I shall give it to thee" is correct but "Dost thee like it?" is not... unless it's the variant of archaic English spoken by the Quakers, who decided to use "thee" with everyone and not conjugate it properly.

Also, you'd be more likely to use "you" with a prince. Thou is familiar or speaks downward. If Luna doesn't know Norm that well she should use "you", because they're both of the same rank, but either of them could address a servant as "thou". (The princesses would use it with each other because they are sisters.)

4659398

I stated that in my edit,

** I forgot that thou'st means thou hast.

4661747

No, I think you're misunderstanding something.

Thou/thee/thy/thine mean you/you/your/yours. They don't mean anything else, they will never mean anything else.

However, you does not change conjugation between subject (I, you, he, she, we, they) and object (me, you, him, her, us, them). So it's hard to keep straight the difference between thou and thee. If you're just thinking "Oh, thou is you," you might say "I shall give thou a present", which is wrong; it needs to be "I shall give thee a present". So if you think about, "What if, instead of talking about 'you', I was talking about 'him' or 'me', what form would I use?" instead of just mentally translating everything to you, it becomes easier to figure out when to use thou and when to use thee.

Here is an extended example:

"Thou art a fool if thou thinkest that I shall forget thy treachery! Ponies forever will remember thee as the one who corrupted and broke all that was thine!"
"Really. Thou hast it backward entirely, I believe. Shouldst not thou be saying instead, 'I am a fool if I think that thee wilst forget my treachery?' For 'twas not I who betrayed thee first, my dear. I was simply returning unto thee the service thou hadst delivered unto me."
"Neigh, the first act of betrayal was thine, foul miscreant!"
"Well, that is thy opinion, and in truth, thou hast the right to believe whatever foolishness thou wishest, but history shall remember this day differently, mark my words. The first act of betrayal was not mine, no matter what thou shouldst say. And my patience is done with listening to thy ludicrous untruths. Stand down and be silent, or I shall have to silence thee."

So in this little paragraph I've tried to include enough mirroring where the characters repeat back to each other what they just said, but with the pronouns changed appropriately, to demonstrate what I'm talking about. Thou is the subject form of the pronoun, the same way I, he, she, we and they are subject forms, but that doesn't mean it means I, he, she, we and they, it just means any of them could be the subject of a sentence. Thee is the object form, thy is the possessive adjectival, and thine is the possessive noun.

4661802 I don't get why you've posted the same information three times. I get it really:ajbemused:

4661877

Because you kept asking if it's really the same word to use for "person I'm talking to" and "myself", or "person I'm talking to" and "that guy". Maybe our comments crossed somehow or there was a lag but it looked like you asked that question after I'd responded to it the first time. If this is an overabundance of information, I apologize; I must have misunderstood your question, or there was some kind of lag.

4661914 I don't put any of the blame on you, you are trying to re teach me. If anything I'm at fault, because you've not only provided text examples, but worded the archaic rules in a different format. I give you full rights to slap me if I continue making errors in the story. :pinkiesad2:

4661802
I translated the examples you gave as a test.

"Thou art a fool if thou thinkest that I shall forget thy treachery! Ponies forever will remember thee as the one who corrupted and broke all that was thine!"

"You are a fool if you think that i shall forget your treachery! Ponies forever will remember you as the one who corrupted and broke all that was yours!"


"Really. Thou hast it backward entirely, I believe. Shouldst not thou be saying instead, 'I am a fool if I think that thee wilst forget my treachery?' For 'twas not I who betrayed thee first, my dear. I was simply returning unto thee the service thou hadst delivered unto me."

"Really you have it backwards entirely, I believe. Should not you be saying instead, 'I am a fool if I think that you will forget my treachery?' For it was not I who betrayed you first, me dear. I was simply returning unto you the services you had delivered to me."

"Neigh, the first act of betrayal was thine, foul miscreant!"
"Niegh, the first act of betrayal was yours, foul miscreant!"

"Well, that is thy opinion, and in truth, thou hast the right to believe whatever foolishness thou wishest, but history shall remember this day differently, mark my words. The first act of betrayal was not mine, no matter what thou shouldst say. And my patience is done with listening to thy ludicrous untruths. Stand down and be silent, or I shall have to silence thee."

"Well that is your opinion, and in truth, you have the right to believe whatever foolishness you wish, but history shall remember this day differently, mark my words. The first act of betrayal was not mine, no matter what you should say. And my patience is done with listening to your ludicrous untruths. Stand down and be silent, or I shall have to silence you."

4662017

Very close but one error.

the one who corrupted and broke all that was thine!"

you have as

the one who corrupted and broke all that was mine!"

It's "all that was yours." The idea being "your treachery involved destroying that which you were sworn to protect/that which you owned/cared for." Like a ruler who did something that ended up harming his own people.

"thine" = "yours". That one is actually not so hard to remember because "yours" does take a different form. Where you would say "your" it's "thy", where you would say "yours" it's "thine".

Other than that I think it's all right.

4662045 Whoops. That's was a slip of the finger. I'm glad to see I'm not just puffing smoke though, give me a moment to digest some breakfast and I'm sure I'll be slapping myself for those errors. :twilightblush:

I finally had a chance to read this chapter. I must saw you are making a beautiful pre-character for Discord.

4559800 I'm not gonna lie. I literally just got the notification for that message. :twilightoops:

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