• Published 6th Dec 2014
  • 10,566 Views, 453 Comments

Destinies - Sharp Quill



Magic is bleeding out of Equestria and into another realm, a realm where magic does not exist. Twilight must stop the flow of magic before disaster strikes. Can the natives of this realm be of help? What's this about a cartoon?

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Side Story: The Grand Galloping Gala

The Grand Ballroom of the palace opened up before Meg. Very Important Ponies, all dressed in their finest evening wear, meandered about. Classical music played in the background, competing with the susurrations of numerous, dignified conversations. At the far end was the Grand Staircase, at the top of which Princess Celestia would in due time greet her subjects, but for now was empty.

She took a picture with her phone, trying not to be obvious about it. She had promised Susie she would take many pictures at the Grand Galloping Gala; nonetheless, that didn’t mean she had to invite questions as to the device attached to her fetlock.

“See anyone you recognize?” she asked Steve, her “plus one,” in a hushed voice.

He subtly shook his head. “Not yet,” he replied just as quietly.

Not that they expected to know anypony there amongst the rich, the powerful, or the well-connected—apart from the obvious few. “Well… I guess we just wander around?”

Shrugging, he said, “I guess so. Maybe we’ll find one of those servers with hors d’oeuvres.”

They did just that, aimlessly wandering around, very much feeling out of their element. It didn’t really help that the invitation had come direct from Princess Celestia herself. The diarch had felt that, as her royal advisor, this was an excellent opportunity for Meg to mingle with the upper classes; after all, the day would come when she would have to interact with them—”put up with” was the phrase the princess had used—as part of her job.

While that was undoubtably inevitable, once humanity’s existence was no longer secret, that didn’t help her make introductions now. There wasn’t much she could say about herself, and it wasn’t as if she had experience dealing with the human equivalent of this crowd.

At least her gown was not out of its element; Rarity had seen to that. Using Meg’s cutie mark for inspiration, it had a pattern of overlapping circles, each one possessing a color gradient based on a slightly different shade of red, their perimeters lined with sapphires. She didn’t even have to pay for it, as the royal treasury covered the cost. Celestia had not given the fashionista the option of refusing payment.

Steve was the first to find a familiar, if not exactly welcome, face. “I think that’s Prince Blueblood.”

A few dozen feet away, the white stallion was talking with a griffon. With his flowing blonde mane, blue bow tie, and a red rose sticking out from a short, black vest, he looked more playboy than anything else. The griffon, the first she had ever seen in the flesh, looked like an old-school, lead-an-army-into-battle aristocrat, complete with uniform, numerous badges of honor, and a sash; about the only thing missing was a ceremonial sword. Being half eagle and half lion, it wasn’t hard for him to look regal.

Their conversation could not be heard, but it looked amicable enough.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t accidentally started a war,” Steve said.

There seemed little danger of that, if appearances weren’t deceiving. “Maybe he isn’t so bad in real life?” She took a picture of the prince and the griffon.

“He’s bad enough,” a familiar voice discreetly said. “Best to keep your distance.”

Meg turned and smiled at Sunset Shimmer. “You don’t know how glad I am to see a familiar face.” The unicorn also wore a Rarity creation, likewise inspired by her solar cutie mark; it was the latest fashion craze.

“Me too,” she confided. “I’ve been, ah, out of circulation for quite some time.”

Probably hasn’t been to one of these since she’d stopped being Celestia’s student, Meg thought. Returning to the subject of Blueblood, she asked, “How is he even a prince?”

Sunset led them away from the stallion in question. “It’s largely an honorary title, bestowed by Celestia centuries ago to an ancestor of his. Don’t ask why. I was never able to get a straight answer from her.”

She suddenly stopped. “But forget about him.” Leaning in, she whispered, “I saw the list of invitations. Discord was on it, and he’s bringing somepony with him.”

“Celestia invited Discord?” Steve said in disbelief. “I mean, sure he’s reformed, but still…”

Meg wasn’t sure what to think. “Who’s his ‘plus one?’ I know Fluttershy got her own invitation.”

Sunset shrugged. “I have no idea.”

There was a brief flash of light, jolting the three ponies, and the draconequus appeared. “It just so happens I do,” Discord said with a knowing grin.

Ugh. I hate it when he does that. It was usually best to play along, the quicker to get it over with. “So who is it?” Meg droned.

He reached his arm out. “Why it’s…” Suddenly realizing his arm was embracing empty air, he frantically looked around, then sheepishly grinned. “How silly of me. Be right back.” He vanished into thin air.

Meg looked around. Numerous ponies were looking in their direction. I better get used to that. At least the orchestra hadn’t stopped playing.

Another brief flash. Discord had returned, and this time he wasn’t alone. Next to him was a gelatinous purple blob sporting a wide, goofy grin, and wearing as an afterthought a small top hat and a green bow tie. About as tall as Princess Luna, it just slowly quivered in place. It seemed harmless enough, though the lack of eyes was… disturbing.

Discord reached his arm out, once more, and wrapped it around the blob. “Allow me to introduce my good friend, the Smooze!”

The what? Meg stared, mouth ajar, at the blob. That’s the Smooze?? This harmless looking blob was the unstoppable creature that could gobble up whole villages, the entire countryside?!

But that was the very first My Little Pony cartoon ever made, decades ago! Tirek was first generation also…

She grabbed his eagle talon and yanked it down, dragging his head down with it. “We need to talk—now.”

Sunset looked on in confusion. “What am I missing?”

If she didn’t know, there was a good chance Twilight didn’t either. Did Celestia? Meg glared once more at the draconequus. “Is that what I think it is?” The blob continued quivering in place, seemingly oblivious to being the topic of conversation.

His talon melted out of her grasp and re-solidified as he returned to his normal posture. “I don’t see how,” he replied dismissively. “That episode won’t air for months.”

“That episode…” Her voice trailed off as she hastily scanned the crowd that had formed around them, a crowd that included Blueblood and the griffon. Everypony kept their distance, but not so far that they couldn’t listen in. “Take us where we can have a private conversation,” she hissed. “Now.

Discord was about to say something no doubt clever, but a look at the furious pegasus changed his mind. With a sigh, he snapped his talons.

Darkness surrounded them. The floor—no, the ground—was… mushy? Slowly, Meg’s eyes adjusted and trees came into view. Trees with twisted and warped branches. Soft, disquieting sounds came from all around them. Her ears tried to lock in on them, to no avail.

“Where are we?” she demanded. Maybe she should have been more specific as to their destination.

“Someplace where I can assure you we are all alone,” he answered in a mildly bored tone.

Pairs of glowing, lime green eyes blinked into existence, causing her heart to leap into her throat. You didn’t…

“Well,” he airily added, “if you don’t count the timberwolves.”

Meg instinctively backed up, her wings uselessly flared in the dark and confined space, trying to put Discord between herself and the wolves. It’d be a lot easier if he didn’t have that long, serpentine tail sticking out behind him. “You brought me to the Everfree. At night!?

The glowing eyes drew closer.

Discord gave an unconcerned yawn, then disdainfully uttered, “Boo.”

The timberwolves all turned tail and ran off, yelping in terror.

Returning his attention to the shivering pegasus, he said, “No harm will come to you here. I give you my word.”

She looked around. There was no sign of them, or of anything else with glowing eyes. There was no questioning the power of his magic; somehow, she doubted they would have ran away if she had said “boo.”

Her eyes by now had adjusted to the moonlight filtering through the canopy. Forcing her wings to her side, she looked down… and lifted a hoof. Yuck. And she was wearing an expensive evening gown, now rubbing against the muddy, mossy, and leaf-littered ground. Perfect.

She’d deal with that later, not that she really had any choice in the matter. Looking back up at Discord, she said, “You’re looking at future episodes.” It was practically an accusation.

“I figured there wasn’t any harm in it, now that the time loop risk is gone.”

That elicited a sigh from the pegasus. He has a point, she had to concede. “Continue.”

“Well, I noticed I was in one of them, and I couldn’t resist. It’s where I got the idea from, to bring Smoozy to the Gala. It had great chaotic potential. I mean, my motivation in that episode was to make Flutter—”

“Spoilers!” Meg blurted out in reflex. Discord rolled his eyes as he literally zipped his mouth shut.

Besides, she didn’t really need to hear more. It wasn’t based on reality anyway. No, this time, reality was copying art. Unfortunately, that still left the question of what, exactly, was “Smoozy,” never mind how dangerous it was.

“Can this Smooze consume without limit, eating and growing until it devours entire cities?”

Discord first made a show out of unzipping his mouth. “Pfft,” he then said, waiving her question away with a paw. “He hasn’t done that in at least a millennium.”

Meg groaned.

Discord found that mildly annoying. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, but that first cartoon didn’t give him a fair shake. This upcoming episode does a better job, but…” He threw up his limbs. “It couldn’t even get his color right!”

She looked askance at him, unconvinced.

“Just give him a chance,” he pleaded. “Sure, he has some self-control issues, but he’s working on them. He’s not evil… just… he needs to get out more and socialize.”

He continued pleading with his eyes.

Meg broke eye contact and slowly shook her head. This is above my pay grade. She’d inform Celestia, or at the very least Twilight, and let them decide how to handle it. Serves her right for inviting him in the first place. Regardless, the odds were good that Discord could and would undo whatever chaos resulted, once he’s had his fun.

And maybe, just maybe, the Smooze did deserve a chance. Friendship is magic and all that. It had worked on Discord, after all.

“Fine,” she said, looking back at her gown. Rarity is going to kill me. “Let’s go back.”

With a snap of his talons, the two of them were back in the ballroom. Meg looked down at her hooves, wondering what to do about the mud, moss, and leaves she must have brought back. To her surprise, they were spotless. So was her gown.

She was about to thank Discord for his thoughtfulness when there was a sudden shriek. A quick look did not reveal her husband, nor Sunset, nor the Smooze, but a crowd had gathered around the source of that shriek. It wasn’t hard to guess where they all were.

Meg launched into the air; the easiest way of getting past that crowd was to go over them. It felt a little strange, wearing an evening gown over her coat—wearing anything at all felt strange, ironically—but that never stopped Rainbow Dash or even Fluttershy from flying. Indeed, the polychromatic pegasus was already there, hovering, gown and all, over… yep, there was “Smoozy,” and Steve, but not Sunset Shimmer.

Who shrieked?

Within seconds, she was down on the floor next to Steve. “What happened?”

He gave her a this-is-gonna-be-one-of-those-nights look. “One of the servers came by with a plate of hors d'oeuvres. The… uh… Smooze helped himself to all of them, plate included.”

The Smooze just quivered in place, still bearing that goofy grin. Did that grin mean anything? Its—no, his, as Discord had clearly referred to him as a hehis body language was impossible to read. That “grin” might be just as meaningless as the grin of a dolphin, an artifact of his… whatever. It was unlikely he had a skeleton, much less a jaw.

The server was nowhere in sight. For a terrifying moment, Meg though she might have been consumed too, but common sense kicked in: if that had happened, all those ponies wouldn’t be standing this close. Plus, Steve would have mentioned that. She must have galloped away.

The server wasn’t the only pony missing. “Where’s Sunset Shimmer?”

“She left to look for a princess, any princess,” her husband replied. “How did your private conversation go?”

“What you’d expect,” she said, sighing. “He’s probably harmless. We should try… socializing with him.”

The purple blob continued quivering in place, still seemingly oblivious to being the topic of conversation.

Could he even talk?

Discord was conspicuously absent; he hadn’t followed her here. The whole situation gave Meg a sense of déjà vu. It was just like when Twilight first brought her to Fluttershy’s cottage, then quickly departed.

Rainbow Dash landed beside her. “Uh, what is that?”

Where to begin? Did it even matter? This clearly wasn’t The Smooze of that very first cartoon. “I’m honestly not sure,” she pensively answered. “He’s Discord’s plus-one. I guess you can call him ‘Smooze.’”

“Discord’s plus-one?” Dash said, rolling her eyes. “Say no more.”

“Give him the benefit of the doubt, Dash.”

“Yeah, sure.” The pegasus kept a wary eye on him, all the same.

The surrounding crowd began to break up, everypony having decided that they needed to be somewhere else. Not that I blame them, I guess. Babysitting a chaos creature wasn’t what she had in mind, either, when she had accepted the invitation.

Any thought of ditching the blob fell apart upon seeing that goofy smile turn into a goofy frown. She had to at least make an effort. Addressing Smooze, she asked, “Can you talk?”

The frown deepened.

Meg sighed, as the orchestra resumed playing. How to make this work? At least it had some body language she could read. But then an idea came to her, and she turned to Rainbow Dash. “Maybe Fluttershy can understand him? Is she here yet?” If they were lucky, Discord had already introduced the two at one of their tea parties or something.

Dash resumed hovering. “Yeah, she’s here. I’ll go get her,” she said, and flew away.

Steve tried to put a positive spin on the situation. “Just think of the stories we can tell our grandkids someday,”

Can’t argue with that. Wouldn’t hurt to have hard evidence either. She got her phone ready. “Why don’t you pose with Smooze.”

With only a moment’s hesitation, the unicorn positioned himself by the blob’s side. Meg framed the photo, then said, “Now smile.” The goofy smile returned to Smooze, thankfully, but Steve’s eyes kept glancing off to her side. She tapped the screen, capturing the image, then she looked to her side, wondering what was so interesting.

It was Prince Blueblood.

“A most unusual camera,” the prince said with sincere interest.

This night just kept getting better and better. At least it shouldn’t be long before Rainbow Dash came back with Fluttershy, or Sunset Shimmer returned with a princess. She just had to stall until then.

“Yes, it is,” she replied conversationally. “It’s not generally available yet.” That wasn’t even false, really; it probably was only a matter of time before human technology like this became available in Equestria. She just hoped he would not want a prototype for himself.

“Ah, I see, still under development.”

The Prince turned to the Smooze, not expecting a confirmation—or refutation—of his previous observation; indeed, he seemed to have forgotten the “camera” existed. “One of Discord’s associates?” he calmly asked, not all that different from how Celestia might have said it.

Whatever Blueblood’s reputation might be—and Sunset Shimmer had confirmed it had a basis in reality—it didn’t show. He was behaving just as one would expect a cultured noble to behave in public, and that almost certainly made him all the more dangerous. I wonder what Rarity would say about him? Fortunately, Meg had friends in high places—and the sooner one of them showed up, the better.

“That’s right,” Meg cautiously confirmed, “but I think the situation is under control.”

The Prince’s eyes drilled into her. “Yes… I would expect nothing less from a mare who can talk to the Spirit of Chaos like you did—and get away with it.”

Of course he witnessed that; he hadn’t been that far away. But where was he going with this? “We, uh, sorta know each other.”

“Indeed. I can see why Celestia appointed you to the position of Royal Advisor.”

Meg’s jaw dropped for a brief moment.

The Prince gave her a calculated smile. “Meg, isn’t it? Quite an unusual name.” He got a nod in confirmation. “I do keep tabs on the Royal Court,” he continued, “and you are a most interesting addition, for the nature of the advice you give Her Royal Highness is a well-kept secret.”

Yup, just keeps getting better and better—though it might explain why he’s on his best behavior.

He didn’t know about humans, that much was clear. As a Royal Advisor, was she obligated to “advise” this “prince” as well? In all the weekly meetings she has had with the princesses, not once has he attended. Cadance and Shining Armor have attended, if they happened to be in Canterlot, and Sunset Shimmer has attended a few. One of the other Element Bearers might also attend, depending on the topic that week, and other, highly trusted ponies were beginning to be invited. Steve attended two of them.

But never Prince Blueblood.

Nor would he have to “keep tabs” on the Royal Court if he was a part of it.

It was safe to conclude he had no business knowing. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I’m not authorized to divulge that information.”

His smile grew slightly more calculated. “Surely you can mention the city you hail from, or the school you attended?”

Translation: he tried to do a background check on her and came up empty. There was no reasonable explanation for that to be classified. What do I tell him?

Blueblood's smile grew incrementally wider at her silence.

“Your network of informants is not living up to its reputation.” Princess Twilight Sparkle was bearing a calculated smile of her own as she joined them.

Meg wanted to hug the alicorn. I wish I could pull a bag of popcorn out of my mane like a certain party pony.

“Why, if it isn’t the prodigal student,” the prince cheerfully retorted. “Have you been authorized to share this information?”

“Cute.” Twilight dropped the pretense. “You think I don’t know you’ve already asked Celestia?”

The stallion wasn’t fazed. “Only playing my part to keep you on your hooves.” He nodded his head at the alicorn. “Twilight.” And again at the pegasus. “Meg.” He casually walked away.

Meg slowly shook her lowered head. “I’m out of my league.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You just need practice, that’s all.” Twilight gazed at the purple blob, now a few dozen feet away. “So that’s the Smooze?”

Meg lifted her head and followed her gaze. While she was occupied with the prince, Discord’s—friend?—had wandered off. “Yup.” Fortunately, Steve had stayed with him. Rainbow Dash had returned with Fluttershy, and Sunset was there too. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about him?”

Twilight briefly met her eyes. “Not really.” The alicorn headed towards the chaos creature. “Celestia did remember…” Her eyes quickly scanned from side to side. “…an incident that happened quite a long time ago, but she’s willing to give Discord the benefit of the doubt.”

That must have been the “consumed a whole village” thing that Discord alluded to. Nonetheless, redemption was always possible in this reality, no matter the offense: first Nightmare Moon, then Discord, so why not The Smooze?

No, not everypony, she corrected herself. Sombra is presumably dead, and Tirek will rot in Tartarus for a very long time.

“Well, for what it’s worth, Discord wants us to give the Smooze a chance. He, uh, thinks he just needs to get out and socialize more.”

And if he could eat anything, that could actually be put to good use.

“Well, lucky for him,” Twilight said, eagerly accepting the challenge, “I’m the Princess of Friendship.”

Meg had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. That sounds so corny, she thought, even if ponies did take that very seriously.

The other Gala attendees were keeping their distance, naturally. The closer ones occasionally glanced in their direction, no doubt curious as to what their newest princess was going to do about the creature.

The orchestra was not that far away. A gray earth pony with an opulent, dark gray mane and tail, wearing a pink bowtie, snuck a peek at Smooze as she played the cello. That must be Octavia. She didn’t allow it to affect her performance; none of the musicians did.

When Meg and Twilight had reached the others, the alicorn did not lose any time introducing herself. She walked up to the purple blob and said, “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, and it is my pleasure to welcome you to Canterlot!”

The Smooze didn’t say anything, or show much of any reaction at all.

Twilight’s smile wilted as the seconds passed.

“Yeah, I don’t think he can talk,” Rainbow Dash said.

“But he does appreciate the welcome,” Fluttershy added. “…I think.”

Twilight turned to the pegasus. “Can you understand him?”

“A little bit,” she replied, “but he’s not like my animal friends. Discord once brought him to one of our tea parties, so this isn’t the first time I’ve met him.”

Dash crossed her forelimbs. “And where is Discord?”

Ignoring that question, Twilight turned back to Smooze. “Do you prefer to be called ‘Smooze’ or ‘The Smooze?’”

Maybe there’s a pattern to the quivering? Meg wondered.

After a few seconds of silence, Fluttershy answered for him. “I don’t think he cares. Discord sometimes calls him ‘Smoozy.’”

“I noticed that myself,” Meg added.

Twilight closed her eyes in concentration. “Okay. He seems to understand us. The problem is he can’t talk.” After mulling it over, she sighed and opened her eyes. “I don’t know of a spell that could give him a voice.”

Fluttershy sighed in sympathy. “I don’t think even Discord can do that.”

“It must be something fundamental about his nature,” Sunset Shimmer said.

“What about a voice synthesizer?”

Everypony turned to Steve, even Smooze—or least his goofy grin did.

“Voice synth what now?”

“Voice synthesizer, Dash.” Could it work? “We have technology that can speak words. The artificial voice sounds a bit weird, but it gets the job done.” Meg looked the Smooze over. “But for it to work, he must be able to select words somehow.”

Sunset joined her by her side. “You mean like type on a keyboard?”

“That’d be easiest, but we needn’t rule out other input devices. Even a single button can be made to work, though it’d be very slow and tedious.” She looked at Sunset. “Perhaps a magic-based sensor?”

“I don’t know,” Sunset said, scrunching her muzzle. “We’d have to research that.”

“And we’d still have to attach it to a computer somehow.” How does one connect a magical device to a USB port or pair it via bluetooth?

Steve approached the Smooze. “Can you form an arm and hand, like a minotaur?”

We haven’t met a minotaur yet. How similar were their hands to human hands? Meg hadn’t, so far, seen one at the Gala.

Something was happening below that goofy grin. A pseudopod extruded from its body. After reaching a foot in length, the tip tried to split into multiple “fingers” but they kept merging back together. A few more failed attempts, and it was all absorbed back into its body. It was safe to rule out touch typing.

“We’ll figure something out,” Twilight said to the Smooze. “I promise.”

Fluttershy beamed at her new friend. “Just think of all the stories you will tell us.”

The gelatinous being was positively jiggling in place, its goofy grin wider than ever.

A flash, and suddenly all the ponies were swept up in a powerful hug. “I knew my little plan… I, uh… the magic of friendship could come up with a solution to, uh…”

Twilight and Sunset Shimmer teleported a few feet away, extricating themselves from Discord’s hug. Rainbow Dash took advantage of the short-lived, alicorn-sized hole and made her escape. Meg and Steve were too slow to react, while Fluttershy didn’t mind.

“We get the picture,” an annoyed Dash said.

Discord released the remaining ponies, putting his arms behind his back. “Ahem, yes, anyway… I, of course, will gladly help however I can.”

“We welcome whatever assistance you can provide,” Fluttershy said.

The draconequus looked expectantly at Twilight.

“Yes, Discord, of course you’re welcome to help in our research.”

Meg wasn’t sure who was giddier, Discord or Smooze. Perhaps Discord could have been more upfront about it all, but it was for a good cause.

Another server cautiously approached, a plate of hors d'oeuvres floating ahead of him, as the orchestra began a new composition. Twilight took possession of the plate, saying, “Thank you.” The server took the hint and with a quick bow departed.

The plate floated around to each pony in turn. Meg wasn’t sure what the hors d’oeuvre was, but being composed mostly of flowers it probably was not fit for human consumption. She took a picture of it before helping herself to one.

Finally, with a warm smile, Twilight levitated the plate with its remaining hors d'oeuvres over to Smooze. He opened his mouth, and the plate floated in. Twilight watched in fascination as the mouth closed—and that was that. All that was missing was a notebook into which the scientist alicorn would have written, “no mastication.”

So this is the magic of friendship at work.

Discord wagged a talon. “Remember, Smoozy, moderation.”

Corny it may sound, but in this world not even monsters are immune to its power.