• Member Since 24th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago


Fevered madmare that writes for their own enjoyment, and if you like it too that's fine by them.


Why is Twilight Sparkle best pony?
To answer that is like answering why the sky is blue? Something about wavelengths, I think.

Twilight Sparkle was born an alicorn. And not just an alicorn, but an alicorn princess. And not just an alicorn princess, but the most powerful alicorn princess that ever existed, will exist, and could conceivably exist. So naturally, Twilight bums off Princess Celestia.

But one day, Twilight discovers a prophesy that changes everything. But not really, because Twilight is eternal. But she finds this prophesy right, about Nightmare Moon. So she goes to Ponyville.

And that is where our story begins. Actually a little before that, because the introduction is Twilight finding the prophesy about Nightmare Moon. So she was in the garden and she found it, right, the prophesy.
Good lord are you still reading the description? Just read the darn story if you wanna, or piss off.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 56 )


Seconded :rainbowlaugh:

There is nothing more I can add to this without it turning into abuseporn

What do you mean 'become'?

I would love if you at least show the NMM confrontation

also Twilight too weak need buff :trollestia:

wow, Twilight is such a jerk! :twilightoops: :rainbowlaugh:
Liked, let's see where this is going. :pinkiecrazy:

PS. In the description you use the verb prophesy instead of the noun prophecy for example: "she prophesied the return of nightmare moon" or "she found the prophecy".

The shtick for this one is rewriting the FiM series as if it was Mary Sue fanfic, I see... If that's the direction you want to go with this, you're on the right track, I'll say that much.

Doesn't do much for validating the series' core premise, though... :rainbowhuh::fluttershysad::applejackconfused::pinkiegasp::raritystarry::facehoof:

Some people have the decency not write every fool thing which pops into their head. I am not one of those people.

Come on, this was the best laugh I had in like 3 weeks. Please continue this so I can eventually lose my sanity, get it certificated and laugh about this story for the rest of my life.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

But seriously now, this is really funny and I'd really appreciate it if you continued this, because it really gave me a wonderful laugh.

I delibratly skipped the NNM confrontation for you, guy who practically begged to see it. :twistnerd:

But now it means I'm behind on my badass Twilight quota... Damn. I'll have to shoehorn in something completely inappropriate but cool later.

This story is my new headcanon.

4559168 don't worry EVERYONE is behind on their badass Twilight quota :twilightsmile:

wonder if blueblood is alicorn...

I just saw the name of the story and I lost it. This is something I will read.

Nice to see Gilda being the smart one. And now immortal, so score!:yay:

Is this really what I do with my free time? What is this? What is my life?

As a fellow writer, it's best not to think about it.

10/10 Best description.

Fucking off now. Bye. :yay:

"Maybe just if you wanted to keep her as a friend, you shouldn't have asked her to kill omnipotent alicorn princess." Pinkie remarked. "Your plan wasn't all that well thought out."

Yep, that sounds about right. :derpyderp2:

okay, i will admit I was spetical when I saw this on the updated story list, but damn man, bravo bravo bravo:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: fucking hilarious, keep this crazy train rolling

Brilliant! Just Brilliant! I bow to your dry dry humor good sir!

I can't wait for Twilight to ruin Dash's Rainbowboom

my question for this chapter: If they are trying to drive Dragons to extinction, why is Spike still alive?

4921727 The cannon answer is that they crucified him, but he returned as a pony nine and a half minutes later. It was weird, so Twilight turned him back into a baby dragon. Then they crucified him again. However, he’d gained an immunity to crucifixion, so they let him off with a year of parole.

4921722 He died in his sleep. It was a painless end.
*A lone trumpet play Taps in the distance*
Godspeed dragon! We hardly knew thee! :pinkiesad2:

This is the dumbest thing I've read all week, and I love it!

I will definitely have to give your serious story a read, whenever I have time to sit down and read >100k words.

Mmm yes... More Dead Horse Beating if you please :)

I shamelessly approve of this story continuing.

over arching plot is good, but this story sorta screams random stupid events


This story is great. I love how you took the idea even to the level of the narrative. For example, Twilight doesn't simply "teleport", oh no, Twilight "comes into being" when she wants, and where she wants. And then there are lines like this:

“I'm just messing with you.” Twilight explained to Fluttershy as her horn lit up momentarily. “I just replaced your door, and I did it retroactively.”

Lines like this make the story amazing. Everything Twilight does here is unnecessarily turned up to 11, and it's hilarious.

Now, all that said, this story isn't without flaw. I noticed several spelling and grammar errors which, at times, detracted from the reading. Other than that, this was a pretty amusing fic. Great work! :pinkiehappy:

Jeez, judging by the author notes, is this story really that unpleasant to make?
I'm having tons of fun with it, but I have to ask why the author would bother if he didn't like it.

Speaking of Ebola, you wanna know how much trouble things have become here in Dallas since it arrived? You should, because nobody gives a fuck.
Just last week one of my exercising classmates asked to drink from my opened water bottle. Doesn't stop them from yelling Ebola every time someone sneezes, and even that joke never really caught on due to the monumental pile of lacking fucks.

Damn. Not one other comment since about 6 months ago?
Anyways, regarding the apparent rhyming embargo, it's not so bad if you think absentmindedly during incredibly boring situations.

Hmmm.... someone doesn't want to deal with writing rhymes.


really 9.01*10^3 you do realize that scientific notation is not needed if not expressing huge numbers or using significant figures BTW it equals 9010 :facehoof:

6977491 I'm not sure why you felt the need to point that out. Your tone does come off as rather snide. Does it give you pleasure to make everyone know that you know what you know? Or are you genuinely concerned that I might be working from a point of ignorance? In the latter case, I thank you kindly, in the former case, I feel for you. Allow me to award what little I can. 45.media.tumblr.com/e8472c33e95c4a9631f1620703d1d7bc/tumblr_napjy6hVJx1qljgf8o1_400.gif

And yet, the purpose of this little literary escapade was not to show off correct use of mathematical notation forms. It was, as they call them in some circles, a joke. Or rather a meme. Only I calculated 9 too high when I wrote that out all those years ago.
(Not insulting your intelligence or anything, but the joke was supposed to be that it is over 9000. Edgy, huh?)

How silly it all seems now, looking back on this. I can't properly comprehend what compelled me to write this, or the subsequent chapters. I get in very peculiar moods, when I find almost anything funny. Judging on your comment, you didn't find it funny. Oh well. It's a rather crap chapter of a silly ol story. Luckily, I've grown as a person since then. Literally. I'm 111.1% the person I was.

Cheers friend.

i can't even read this due to the description :fluttercry:
in a good way

BD out

PS: just got over it reading now :pinkiehappy:

6977595 i chuckled as i read this cause it somthing this twilight would say

This is pure rapid-fire comedy gold. This must go on forever. Well, as long as you can come up with new jokes, I mean.

Egh, sad you didn't continue this. Also, you did wrong by forgoing The Door in later chapters.

7803363 I still do goofy stuff like this when the mood creeps up on me. Maybe before Christmas I'll drive myself half delirious from sleep deprivation and give it a good swing.

7803568 Aye aye, good sir.

Also, a friend of mine thinks there were references of Overlord. Be it true?

Almost a year since the last chapter, and my sense of humor hasn't improved at all.

Come on Hasbro! The community has had enough of getting cheesed by Twilight! And don't even get me started on Starlight!!

CAN WE HABE NERF PLS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Also, can we can an Applejack buff while we're at it? She isn't very effective, especially against "Character development"-level bosses



7826196 it lives! LIVES!

And believe me, your humour is just fine ;P

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