• Published 12th May 2014
  • 3,486 Views, 193 Comments

The Elements of Friendship, Book I: Harmony - Amras Felagund

Twilight fails to defeat NightMare Moon, and the world is plunged into eternal night. Twilight must travel the world with her friends to unlock the secrets of the Elements of Harmony.

  • ...

Preview for Book IS

Author's Note:

NightMare Night approaches. By Queen Selena’s guiding hoof, the foreboding history of the holiday is almost forgotten. Gone are the empty ceremonies of offering candy as a sacrifice to a piñata NightMare Moon, and replaced instead with grand re-enactments of epic historic battles.
But things go awry when Queen Selena, still weakened by NightMare Moon, is foalnapped!
Even more shocking, though, is her abductor: a vengeful foe, empowered by an artifact which bestows absolute power:
The Great And Powerful Trixie!

The Elements of Friendship
Book IS [interlude one-point-five]:

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Comments ( 42 )

Well, if it were taken seriously that Celestia moves the sun and the moon, and has godlike powers and immortality... then the whole concept that the nations that don't have that kind of leader having any political or real power at all would be just because the ones that do have that sort of leader are currently feeling generous. It would weight all diplomatic interactions very heavily in the direction of the one with a goddess/natural forces as their leaders.

It's a superlatively bad position to be in, where they are basically helpless other than being able to well... whine about stuff, so instead they have to rationalize it away, I'd say.


Indeed, that's how I mostly pictured it - some countries taking the opportunity to basically complain and air old grievances, using Luna's shenanigans as a pretext, without having too much of a clear idea as to what exactly they are dealing with (I imagine Celestia has ruled mostly with a soft hoof without throwing her weight around much, so it probably has been a long time - many centuries - since anyone has truly seen what she can do).

And while some countries can indeed have very legitimate grievances because of the damage inflicted during Nightmare's reign ... well, that's somewhat of a shoddy excuse to blame Equestria (though I certainly can see how it can be used as an excuse), considering Nightmare was essentially an alien warlord aiming to take over the world, and simply started with Equestria for old time's sake. If anything they should be happy she was stopped at all, because really - Luna and Celestia are effectively forces of nature, and if she hadn't been stopped within Equestria, even if it took a month to do so, the whole world would have been bent over and helpless to do much about it.

But indeed, as far as serving as an excuse to bark up Equestria's tree, it's a semi decent one - so long as Celestia actually feels inclined to listen, of course (one would think that after Nightmare's tantrum, they wouldn't want to poke the powers that be any further :twilightsmile:). Not that that has ever stopped anybody, though ...

Speaking of which, I'm looking towards Luna's attempts to reintegrate in to Equestria - I imagine it will be far from smooth sailing. It wasn't too bad originally (once Twilight introduced her to modern behavior anyway), but then again in the original Nightmare didn't accomplish much - a couple of unconscious guards, a few hours of nighttime and what amounts to punching Celestia in the face isn't all that extensive as far as crimes go, and barely affected the populace at all.

Here though ... cities were freezing over, ponies were dropping from hunger and cold, looting and assault were starting to spread as the citizens grew more desperate, much of the plant life and farmland must be pretty badly damaged ... the consequences of Nightmare's actions are much more severe here, which, I imagine, will affect how the populace looks upon Luna, regardless of what Celestia says in her defense ...

or not :P

Believe it or not, the manticore's share of countries represented on the Cosmic Council are not actually ruled over by someone with some cosmic level of power. Countries like Maretonia, Neighpon, Saddle Arabia of the Horses, Hrenway of the Caribou, Cervin of the Deer, Magnesia of the Centaurs, Orlalvov of the Griffons and Pundamilia of the Zebras do not have any fundamental control over the cycle of day or the varying weather conditions of the world, but they still see representation. The only nations that really have such magical control are Equestria, Aquastria and Qin. That is really only three of the fourteen high nations represented. (Even the Minotaurs see representation, despite their lack of a "nation" in the true sense.) All of the predominant races of Harmonia see representation, so that none are shut out by another. The Cosmic Council does not take its name from the powers of those on it, and many are not even represented by royal dynasties; it was at the insistence of Queen Celestia and King Leo when they established it that other nations be able to overrule those with godly leaders. The races, from Centaurs to Minotaurs to Qilin to Ponies to Horses, are all as varied as the stars in the cosmos, hence the name Cosmic Council.

It is effectively the Harmonian equivalent of the United Nations. Generally speaking, the nations do try to look out for one another, though Banehold the country of Dragons tends to verge towards isolationism most of all, and Orlalvov is generally more concerned with how other nations affect it than it is with helping out those around it. There is another nation of Griffons called Keobeu, but tensions are high as the southern regions seek to side more with Qin, while the north aspire towards the example of their RUSSO kin.

There are very few alive today who have seen Celestia in her full wrath. As such, there are those who suggest that she has become soft and weak. That she will acquiesce to complaints of overly hot summers or overly cool winters from her fellow Cosmic Council members does not help that case. But those people confuse compassion and such for weakness.

The reason that there are folks who raise Cain about these troubles (i.e.: NightMare Moon, Discord, Sombra, etc.) is that they perceive the Queen(s) of Equestria as being so incompetent as to let their internal affairs become largely external, affecting the broader world. Even if they control the Sun and Moon, there will be some who suggest that they be removed from political power in Equestria and take up the sole duty of maintaining the Nychthemeron. "After all," the argument would go, "they cannot balance the duties of raising the Sun and Moon, acting on great magical threats, and running a nation on top of all that." That Equestria sits on top of the caldera of Tartarus is another sticking point; the nameless terrors that have been imprisoned there are largely Equestria's responsibility to the rest of the world. And if the Queens let the cork pop off that bottle... Well, let's just say that Orlalvov will find it a lot easier to demand Equestria's expulsion from the Council.


Oh, they can certainly try and make demands, but the issue here is: if Celestia says "no" (and I certainly can't see her saying "yes") ... there is not a whole lot anyone can actually do about it. Sort of like the United Nations indeed (which is, in many cases, seen as a well intentioned but ultimately powerless institution) - they only matter so long as the more powerful nations behind them feel inclined to play along and don't really have any power of their own. And unless Celestia is actually secretly hoping to take a vacation, not much can possibly come from it (beyond that which she offers willingly, from genuine compassion towards what other people had to suffer because of Nightmare) .

Though of course, that's probably not going to stop anyone from trying, at least initially - like you said, few people probably comprehend what they are actually dealing with her and that it's only Celestia's own personality that gives them a chance to voice their opinions, not any actual pull they would inherently have over her.

And then there is the obvious point of - Celestia's handling of Nightmare's return might not have been the best, but can anyone claim to have been able to do better, in that situation and against threats of similar nature? Celestia might be far from perfect, but she's still the best they have for the job (until Twilight ascends anyway :P) for keeping Tartarus plugged and other world-ending threats in check before they actually manage to end the world. I very much doubt anyone else can offer a better security precaution and measures and actually have the ability to carry them out.

Though I assume that's the ignorance of the true scale of the threats the big villains represent coming in to play here (though what Nightmare managed to accomplish during a month should really cause at least a few observant people to sit up and take notice, they can't all be short sighted and arrogant) - like you say, no one really understands what Celestia can do (even though Nightmare makes a good benchmark to start drawing parallels) and probably mistake kindness for weakness, Discord is probably but a fairy tale that they consider exaggerated even though he could end kingdoms with the snap of his fingers, and Sombra (and Crystal Empire) seem to have faded from memory as a whole (even Twilight haven't heard anything about either in canon prior to its reappearance) ... so yeah, I guess it's mainly genuine ignorance combined with opportunistic greed speaking there for most of them.

Well, she did manage to weasel out of punishment from her father. And plus, most ponies believed her when she said she was sorry.

It never occurred to them that she was lying.

Princess Luna's name at one point in development was Selena, but because of legal concerns they were unable to use it and went with Luna instead. To my knowledge, though, the name Selena did get used in a very early children's book.

I had a feeling that reading her dialogue would be very difficult, but I simply wanted to immerse the viewer in the difficulty that somepony in-universe has in understanding her dialect. But fear not; at least a month has passed between her cleansing and NightMare Night, and the next Book begins on NightMare Night. She will have learned to mimic the dialect of the present far more capably by then. Sure, a few odd symbols might work their way in here and there, and she'll never quite give up the thous and thees, but at least she's be more intelligible.

I appreciate your proofreading of Twilight's German. I did actually use Google Translate, and I learned the hard way that it's not a good resource to use whole-cloth. Fixed.
There are some things in later chapters that push that E-rating a bit further than that moment with Crescy in Chapter Five. We might not have "seen" anything other than Crescy disappearing into blue mist, but... yeah, I think I'll bump this up to a Teen rating.
Amended that "dead on yer feet" to "dead on yer hooves". Thanks again.
At this point in the story, it's not supposed to be clear if "Discord" is a reference to a person or to the abstract nature of chaos. I generally use a blend of third person singular and third person omniscient for this story, similar to what Matt Stover used in his novelisation of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Generally I follow a single character who is dominating the conversation and what they are thinking and what they know, but when I do scenes without a clear character in play, I assume a greater knowledge of the world around them.
Trixie was cocky. She didn't think she'd get called out, and she thought that she was safe enough to reveal her full name... if that is indeed her real name.
Admittedly, the idea that they would focus on exposing Trixie as a fraud does strain credulity when confronted with the greater issues at hoof here. But they already have a strong suspicion that Trixie Lulamoon is behind the false ursa major. Who knows what else she will do to keep herself in the favour of Ponyville? Might she fake an attack by NightMare Moon, which would cause widespread panic and likely some ponies accidentally trampling others to death? There is too much of a random factor to allow for Trixie to remain in place at Ponyville. Granted, if she had arrived a few days later, then perhaps she would have missed Twilight and her band entirely... and she would not have been filled with a thirst for revenge for her tricks of the trade being exposed. (It's a twisted motive for revenge, but since when has revenge been in proper perspective?)

I speak German and English and it happens to me sometimes. Sometimes I even can't remember a word in German and I use the English one instead. I think it's different for every person.

Point taken regarding the "Vampirwölfen". Fixed Twilight's German to your suggestion and transplanted the explanation of the vampires and merewolves from Chapter Seven to Chapter Four. (Admittedly, this was something that kind of bothered me as well. It rubbed me a bit wrong to introduce them and then present one physically all within one chapter.)

Twilight switches to Germane mostly when she's incredibly flustered. She sometimes keeps her journals in Germane, and would speak with her father in his native tongue often. Even some of her letters to the Queen were in Germane, though only if she was transcribing them; Spike doesn't know very many Germane words.

The idea of the sixteen-hour day is based off of observations of the show. For instance, there are only eight ticks around the edges of clocks, and in the episode Pinkie Pride, the ten-minute mark is when the minute-hand is pointing roughly between our '1' and '2'. The four-hour sleep-cycle is based off of the fact that, despite their sapience, they're horses. Horses and ponies only sleep about two to three hours a day. Even by Equestrian standards, though, four hours is pretty short for sleeping. Though admittedly, their hours are eighty minutes long in this universe, and each minute is eighty seconds long by comparison. (Their seconds are as long as ours.) A four-hour sleep cycle in Harmonia would be about 25,600 seconds long, while an eight-hour sleep cycle to us would be about 28,800 seconds long, a difference of 3200 seconds or just over 53 minutes. So despite the initial discrepancy, it turns out that ponies don't sleep too much less than we do... at least if I was more clear about the different time measurements.

Well, I guess I was thinking that Rainbow Dash was waiting to use that as an ace-in-the-hole to spring on Twilight. I imagine that she's faced enough dissent amongst other ponies about the veracity of her claims that only the prospect of attacking NightMare Moon without the Elements could have caused her to bring it up.
...Either that, or I'm a slave to the episodic nature of the series. Don't worry, this sort of thing won't happen in future books now that I've been made more explicitly aware of it.
Thanks again. Fixed.
This is not actually a romantic kiss, believe it or not. I didn't really intend a specific meaning behind it; it was meant to be ambiguous. Applejack will bring it up in the following Book, though, querying to Twilight about the implications of this kiss.:applejackconfused:
I was aware of the Mond/Dämon situation; I guess I was working under the idea that the second d was dropped over time. But I see the point, and have amended the second d back in.
Also, yes. That may or may not be the Doctor. I don't watch Doctor Who, but I am aware of the crossovers people do. There was originally going to be a scene in an earlier chapter where that ambiguity is explicitly brought forth, but it didn't fit in. It would have included Colgate/Minuette under the name Mary Smith-Noir (ostensibly, the TARDIS as a pony), John Smith-Doo's "sister" and wife of Pinot Noir/Berry Punch.
You guessed correctly. It was about the point when they were on their way into Aquastria that it struck me that there really was no scene between Rainbow and Fluttershy alone together, and I knew that with their long history together they had to have something a bit deeper together than most realised. Admittedly, the closeness of said relationship (engaged) was thrown in haphazardly in response to a question by a commenter, and was not given much forethought. I do have an idea for how to rectify that, though, and I do not intend to edit previous chapters; it will be addressed in Book IS [one-point-five].:rainbowhuh::fluttershyouch:
Queen Selena's dialogue was admittedly pretty heavy on the alternative characters. I suppose my intent was to place the readers in the same position as most ponies, but I guess I didn't foresee people using eReaders to read this fic. I looked at this fic on a 3DS's Internet function and several characters in Selena's dialogue were just boxes. But trust me, Selena's grasp on Modern Equus will have improved in the month of in-universe time since we've seen here.
There is a bit of a reason behind Pinkie being so random, but that is to come up in later Books...:pinkiehappy:
The final chapter was told somewhat out of sequence; the scenes in the library are set roughly a month after the shindig at Canterlot. Reparations were already well under way just with the rising of the Sun, bringing much-needed warm light to Greater Equestria and cool darkness to the Griffonian continent. It was Queen Selena's call to bring bourgeoisie and proletariat together in merriment, and Queen Celestia trusts her judgment. There has been precious little to celebrate for two months of unrelenting chill and darkness. Once the festivities concluded, though, work did go forward towards burying the dead and giving them their last rites, towards the supply of aid to the countries more heavily impacted by the Nightmare Empire. I believe I made reference to this in the first cut from Canterlot to the library.
The Griffons being positioned as the UdSSR was primarily done because this story is set in a 1920s-30s equivalent to our world. There is tension there between Ponies and Griffons, mostly because griffins are perceived as hateful of horses in our mythology. The Griffons of Orlalvov despise the Ponies of Equestria, who in turn fear the Griffons. There is an archipelago between Greater Equestria and Griffonia where Griffons and Ponies live together in harmony, but they are not affiliated with either nation, distrusted by Equestrians and rejected by Griffonians. The politics of the Cosmic Council and RUSSO's place in it will become more prominent as more problems arise out of Equestria in later Books.

I deeply appreciate your criticisms, knowing that they are intended as helpful and constructive. I would rate your comment a 10 out of 10. Dankeschön, mein Freund, and I hope that we continue our correspondence in this manner into the foreseeable future!:moustache::twilightsmile::ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2::raritywink::yay::pinkiehappy:

After going full-blown twilight:twilightblush: on this, I'm clearly looking forward for the rest of this.

Should have said more on this however I'm whacked however I may add-on things on a latter time Now off to bed

Oh don't you worry. We'll have plenty of time to get to know Trixie in the very next Book...:trixieshiftright:

That's how I wrote Pinkamena; I pushed her as far away from Pinkie Pie as I could. Whereas Pinkie Pie is vibrant, talkative and in-your-face, Pinkamena is monochromatic, mute and withdrawn. This is the fanart that inspired the dramatic contrast between Pinkie and Pinkamena. I mean, there are people out there who are almost unrecognisable when they lose their cool...
I learned about so many mythological creatures writing this fic, and not all of them made the cut. That should give you some idea as to the abundance of creatures of mythology that I was exposed to in crafting this world. And don't think I've played my full hand already; there's more to come!

I did reference the Slice of Life Tumblr on this; Egophiliac is awesome!
Also, the pinkamena gemstone is a fabrication for the world of The Elements of Friendship. It's a way to retroactively make it so that all of the Pie daughters have stone- or earth-themed names.

I know, I know, Queen Selena's got an almost impenetrable accent. It's to demonstrate how different the language of Equestria a thousand years before, but yeah, I think I went a bit overboard in making it different. That line in more modern English would be: "Eldritch chaos that would have ended your world which could only be constrained by the magick of harmonious friendship"

And here is a chart of how each character checks out to modern English:
Ng/ng = Ŋ/ŋ
s = ſ [except as last letter in a word, or in double-s consonant compounds that are at the end of a word]
ss/sz = ß [message, assess (aßeſs)]
Th/th = Þ/þ [the, thou, thee, thy/thine, though, this, that, other]
Th/th = Ð/ð [thought, thin, with, thigh, health, think, thousand]
W/w = Ƿ/ƿ
Ch/ch = Ċ/ċ
J/j = Ȝ/ȝ
Ph/ph = Ṗ/ṗ
<strike>Sh/sh = Ṡ/ṡ/ẛ</strike>
Sh/sh= Ʃ/ʃ

...Wait, you're going to read this on YouTube? Have I told you that I love you today?

And yes, that was a Watership Down reference. I thought in Lapine for at least a day or two after writing that...!

That... That song... I can just so easily imagine that song now playing over end-credits that play after Celestia and Twilight depart to join the party! ...Immediately afterwards fading from the bright end-credits to the darkness of Moondancer joining up with her brothers and sisters of the High Council. (Who will become more vitally important in successive books in the series, don't worry. They will really come into their own later on!)
I'm glad that you noticed the early rumblings about Tirek. The Behemoth of Tartarus is a formidable foe, one of the most magical forces of destruction in existence. Whatever the plans of the High Council, Tirek is clearly a threat to them as much as to Harmonia itself.

I understand the tredipation about how sudden the FlutterDash was, but... honestly, I didn't have the pairing in mind as being a thing until they were just about on top of Aquastria.

Reading between the lines, you can tell that there was a bit of a falling-out between Twilight and Shining some years past. It had something to do with her losing control of her magic...

And there will be a number of follow-ups to Book I: Harmony. I already had the ending of the final Book laid out before I even posted the prologue to this, so that I know where to go in each successive Book.

Thank you for your patronage. I hope to see you sticking through future installments!


...Wait, you're going to read this on YouTube? Have I told you that I love you today?

Yes,I am going to. I think either over the Summer or on the show's anniversary (Oct 10). But go ahead, tell me you love me.

And yes, that was a Watership Down reference. I thought in Lapine for at least a day or two after writing that...!

HEH, I knew it. Watership down is one of those animated films I love to death.

I understand the tredipation about how sudden the FlutterDash was, but... honestly, I didn't have the pairing in mind as being a thing until they were just about on top of Aquastria.

Like I said, I love Flutterdash, so the shock was more of how sudden it was than anything else.

And there will be a number of follow-ups to Book I: Harmony. I already had the ending of the final Book laid out before I even posted the prologue to this, so that I know where to go in each successive Book.
Thank you for your patronage. I hope to see you sticking through future installments!

Beleive me...I am going to be here for a long time. You got me hooked on this sucker and I loved it.

Okay, I love you!:pinkiehappy::heart:
But be a little forewarned: I am working out a gradual shift in the numerical counting in The Elements of Friendship from our common base-10 system to the base-12 system, complete with different words for decade, century and millennium. So, 10 would be read as twelve rather than ten. Check out this journal of mine for reference, along with this video by Numberphile:

(If you want a reason: most ponies have four limbs, while Pegasi have six. The lowest common multiple between four and six is twelve.)
So yeah. Your re-reading of it might be a wee bit different than the first go-around.

That's jolly good and all. Unfortunately, the IDW comics by and large are not canon to this story... though Tiberius might be.

Our very own Alchemystudent has begun a reading of my fanfiction The Elements of Friendship, Book I: Harmony on YouTube. It is shaping up to be a solid reading, so offer him your patronage!

Actually, I had something of a blast writing little ol' Sleepy Hollow! I just loved the idea of giving the Mane Seven a tenacious, Terminator-esque foe who could not be bargained or negotiated with, and which didn't feel pity or remorse or fear... Except for fear of sunlight, even artificial sunlight. And since the legend of the Headless Horse is completely separate from the legend of NightMare Moon, she may not be gone with the defeat of the Tyrant of the Moon...

The reason for Crescent Rose's golden eyes is because she's supposed to be an amalgam of the RWBY characters. Ruby's hair colour, an almost-white coat referring to Weiss, a rose in her cutie mark and name as a dual reference to Blake to boot, and golden eyes referring to both Blake and Yang.


Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister, and banished her permanently in the moon.

Quoted directed from the opening narration of the very first episode. So... no, that's not a point-of-divergence.

So how do you feel now that Moon Dancer has made a canon appearance in the show, as a mare who was heart broken from Twilight standing her up at her first attempt at socializing and being treated as a non-person by the mare she connected most with who Twilight ended up apologizing to?

I feel like Hasbro has done a very good job of connecting an episode's plot back to the pilot's opening scene(s), and am interested in seeing if they plan to use Moondancer and Twilight's old Canterlot friends anymore in the future (although, if Twilight already had friends, why would she need to learn the magic of friendship by being sent to Ponyville...?). I take no umbrage with Hasbro choosing to take a different direction than what I ended up taking. If I was an individual of hubris, I would have been outraged that Hasbro decided to "contradict" me. Luckily, I'm a better person than that, and can accept that my lowly fanfiction has more than the right to take steps into territory that the show may or may not choose to follow up on in the future. (Makes me wonder if any other details that they alluded to early on may be called back to in the sixth season, or the movie...)
Also, if you may indulge me, this is not what Moondancer looks like in Elements of Friendship. The Moondancer of EOF has a look rather closer to the character's appearance in Children of the Night (In a way, rather more like Baby Moondancer than the actual pony named Moondancer). I had no idea of knowing what Moondancer would look like in canon (apart from her appearance in that "secret origin of Sunset Shimmer" comic), so I went with the one that felt most true to her character in The Elements of Friendship.


Personally, I don't feel angry when my head-canon gets contradiction (I get angry at the idea at the idea of the Nightmare Force because I feel it's bad writing and a poor retcon), I feel SAD. Would you still have Moon Dancer in an antagonist role in your later writings?

If I'd not introduced Moondancer till after Amending Fences aired? Maybe not. I might have averted the One Steve Limit, though; used the canon Moondancer design for the "good" Moondancer and the Children of the Night Moondancer for the one on the High Council.


And if you were to write a fanfic that had to have her in it again?

If I had to write a fic with Moondancer, and that fic was not canon to The Elements of Friendship, I'd probably default to her canon presentation.


I see. Personally, I try my hardest normally to reconcile with canon normally. And give the character a heel face turn if it becomes so in canon.

I originally had the racist Onyx Tiara as Diamond Tiara's father, but after his canon appearance, I had him work through his issues and "retook his old name" Filthy Rich, and reveal his change in attitude was due to his grief at his wife's insanity.

I had Screwball as Diamond Tiara's mother originally, with her birth name being Golden Tiara before she went crazy. After regaining her sanity, she got a chance to make a wish to have never gone crazy, and found herself in the life of the cruel Spoiled Rich (which was now the name her family WANTED her to take when she married Filth Rich)... and ends up having a metaphysical fight with both Screwball and Spoiled Rich, absorbs their traits, and gains the strength to move on with her life.

Discord breaks out early in my fanfic before Flutter On aired... but when he learns that his 'Heart World' self has reformed, he secretly begins to have a break down as his excuse to himself "I'm impossible to reform" is now exposed TO HIMSELF as a LIE.

And for the episode, the idea was that they were friends to Twilight, but Twilight WASN'T a friend to them.

Well, that's the way that you do things. I roll differently. (Except in the case of Pinkie being one-half of a pair of twins; once the birth order of the Pie sisters was clear, I admit that I retconned some of Pinkie's dialogue near the end of Book I to reflect that change.) I feel like it would be slavish to be too beholden to the way that the TV series does things, even in a story such as this which is a more dramatised high-fantasy retelling of certain seasonal conflicts. This is an Alternate Universe fic for a reason. Granted, some details of Season 5 will inform on the writings that follow up on what was posted at the time this comment was made, but by and large I don't feel like adhering slavishly to the canon show in an Alternate Universe fanfiction is a terribly logical move to make. In a fanfic that is more clearly derived from the TV show, I think that adhering to the show-canon would be a solid move.
And, for what it's worth, there's a lot to be revealed about the backstories of characters in EOF, and the history in general of Equestria and the greater world around it, that would not fit in to the show-canon at all.
Yeah, I feel like that assessment of Twilight's relationship with Moondancer et al. bears out very well.


Oh I don't bow to everything. Cadence was STILL born an Alicorn in my narrative. Twilight is still the FIRST mortal pony to BECOME an Alicorn, a fore-runner of more to come, Spike was RAISED by TWILIGHT with Celestia's supervision Celly only being his foster parent in paperwork, and Spike joins in the Sparkle family photos. the Nightmare Force is just propaganda invented by Celestia so ponies won't blame Luna for what she did while she was mentally ill and is now cured. The Alicorns and Draconequi (there's more than one) are ACTUAL gods, not just powerful creatures. And Trixie attended a different magic school from Twilight's.

And Nightmares are Alicorns who go out of balance or Ponies who try to go Alicorn but gain power but not enlightenment, not possession.

Greetings my good Sir. I must say this fic was quite a find; I enjoyed it thoroughly. To that end, I have recommended it to be featured on Rage Spotlight, a monthly feature in which Rage Reviewer's highlight the fics we actually like. It may be found here.

Thank you very much, sir!

I've been meaning to read this for the longest time, and it was well worth the wait. The narration is sometimes overly wordy or goes over what the dialogue and actions have more or less made clear, but it's an epic tale with great worldbuilding, and you flesh out the characters well enough to get us to know (and love) them all over again. Sequel hooks aside, this stands very well on its own.

(Of all things, I'm wondering what the significance is of that one Shadowbolt apparently escaping, if they were all unmade anyway....)


I admit, you have me curious, what would happen if the Moondancers were to switch places, or switch minds. One Moondancer finding Twilight is suddenly her enemy. And another finding the evil organization she works for never existed.

Now that's an interesting idea. The canon Moondancer would likely be uber-perplexed about the circumstances of where she is, and would likely try to study as much as possible about the world she's ended up in. Meanwhile, the EOF Moondancer would be beside herself with separation anxiety, like a child separated from her mother. She'd probably end up in an asylum in canon Equestria because of the ranting and raving she'd partake in that I will not indulge here because of spoilers.


Just saying it would make for an interesting stand alone story, with the ponies of both worlds dealing with 'moon dancer' suddenly acting 'out of character.'

Illusion magic will not be denigrated in the future, don't worry. Glamours and such are a thing in EOF-world.

Heheheh, I see what you did there. :twilightsmile: But I doubt that old Sleepy Hollow will be deterred by much apart from sunlight.
And also, a dullahan? Who ever said that the Headless Horse ever had a head...?

Hey Amaras, I really enjoyed your story! I can tell that you have a very speical talent for writing, and I love the way you made each scene, especially the part where Twilight literally burst in into flames! That was just RICH :rainbowlaugh:!!! Awesome reference to Season 1 Episde 15, 'Feeling Pinkie Keen'! :raritywink:

I just have one question though, with Pinkie Pie and her ability to change color. Did you get that from the the movie Inside Out? More importantly, have you watched Inside Out? If you did, was that the reason why you gave her the ability to change color? If it is, that was a really ingenious idea:pinkiehappy:!

I have seen Inside Out, and I love that movie! However, that was not where I got the idea for Pinkie changing color. Pinkie's mood affecting her colors came from this bit of fanart:
The same fanart, obviously, inspired Pinkamena being a monochromatic mime.

Ah, I see...still, that was a pretty good idea! I feel like it really suits her character:raritywink:! In case you were curious, I had an idea similar to yours for Pinkie's color changing abilities, only with me, I did get it from the movie inside out, and not just for telling what emotions she was feeling. Just pointing that out there...and no, I wasn't trying to steal your ideas, if that's what your wondering. :rainbowderp: I apologize if I made you feel that way.:ajsleepy:

Another thing, I love how you made the Mane Six and the other ponies in your story head cannon! :heart: Another ingeious idea on your part! If you want my honest opinion, I feel like they would look better of as head cannon versions, because it would make them look more, defined, if you know what I mean :ajsmug:.

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