• Member Since 10th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 25th, 2023

Neff


A 20-ish year old math student from southern Germany.

E

It's open-house day at Twilight's new tree-castle in Ponyville. Ponies from all over the land have come to visit the princess's home. One small filly is especially excited to see Twilight and her friends spread the magic of friendship over Equestria.

An episode-style slice of life story. Takes place during season 5.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

this was a cute little story - honestly, I feel like this sort of premise could be used as an actual episode at some point

definitely true to the show in mood and lesson, good one.

s19.postimg.org/f2c1vkj37/Screen_Shot_2017-04-23_at_9.35.28_PM.png

Congratulations, first feature!

Also:

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

Discord quoting Harry Potter? Awesome!

Great story, amazing progression, and a whole lot of cute! Bravo! Brava!

This was adorable. Good work my dude. I look forward to more.

>no Glimmy
Automatic like.

As for the story, this "A pony meets a fan" story is A THOUSAND TIMES better than Stranger Than Fan Fiction. Following!

I wanted to tell you I loved your story! This was really lovely. That said, there are some grammar errors, wrong word choices, and awkward places, and a run-through by an editor could help immensely to polish the story up, but it's a lovely little gem and deserving of attention.

"I think I will take this, then. It would be a shame if such a generous gift would brake."

"I think I will take this, then. It would be a shame if such a generous gift broke."

8116986
Thank you. Fixed it. :)
Conditionals are always a pain.

8116162
Thanks! So many notifications... :yay:
And kudos for recognizing the quote. :) Harry Potter 1 was one of my favorite books while growing up.

8116900
Glad you liked it. :)
The phrasing and word choices probably are due to me not being a native speaker. I probably should get an editor at some point but so far I've not really written enough to require one.

I really enjoyed this... it's good to see the Mane Six getting recognition, and I'm a sucker for the idea of Twilight inspiring other little ponies as she was inspired by Celestia at the Summer Sun Celebration. Firing off the Castle's Rainbow Laser Beam was a great way to do that.

Am I the only one that was hoping for a cute story between a filly and her first fan? :D
lumaxxindia.com/admin/uploads/tablefan01.jpg

Sorry, I'll show myself out now.

In all seriousness, this was a very cute story and done pretty well. Though there are occasional grammar mistakes, the story itself was very enjoyable.

I really like the perspective. It's difficult for me to enjoy stories where the story focus is on the OC, and not on the Mane 6 or side characters such as the Princesses or the Wonderbolts. That's usually because such stories are self-insert shipping messes, but this avoids that completely and approaches it at a different angle. It was a lot of fun to look at things from a fillies perspective like this, and I honestly could see this story being an episode.

Anyways, fantastic story, you did a great job, Neff.

8117051
You aren't a native English speaker? Impressive. Yes, you should get an editor at some point, especially if you keep writing (though I think this little gem of a story deserves an editor) but I'm impressed that your story is so sweet and readable when English isn't your first language.

8118063
Nope, I'm from good ol' Germany.
Thank you again. :)

8118088 Or do you mean Germaney lol... Very true to show, and nice concept to a actual episode. Nice little one-shot, hope to see more.

Hnnnnnnng, this filly is so painfully adorable :yay:

Also caught me off guard for a sec with the Twi-splosion!

"WHAT IS IT NOW?"

:twilightoops: I was like "oh f:derpyderp2:k"

This is a very good one-shot.

She and her friends had found out that when they held their hooves together near the center of the throne room, a rainbow would shoot out of the castle's peak, spreading friendship and joy all over Equestria.

This idea quite frankly terrifies me...

Most wonderful!

Sequel!!!!:scootangel:

Please?:twilightblush:

Is Twilight's first fan a ceiling fan or one of those big square ones you stick in a window? Or maybe one of those oscillating fans...

:trollestia:

This story is such a cute read! A really great one shot that I could totally see being an episode. Like and fave! :twilightsmile: /)

8119656

Not right now, but I might do one at some point. Have some ideas for that. :)

8120442 yay!:scootangel:

*hugs and kisses Neff out of excitement*:rainbowkiss:

Wait the doozy was the fully earning her cutiemark for hugging twily soo cute

Well, shoot. Now I have diabetes. Thanks for that. :ajbemused:

Seriously, though. Wonderful story here. Legends-worthy. :heart:

8120022

a ceiling fan or one of those big square ones you stick in a window? Or maybe one of those oscillating fans...

Nah mate, that would be Luna's first fan
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8129263 Oh I remember that one!

This is a wonderful story! :twilightsmile:

I think your biggest accomplishment here was writing a slice-of-life that feels like it could fit as an episode. In fact, I could see this working as an introductory episode for someone new to the series, seeing the characters for the first time through the filly's eyes. Well done!

My only regret is I didn't read this sooner!

Still one of my favourite stories on the site. Will agree with the sentiment that it feels like a real episode, but I think a more important aspect was how effectively and endearingly you portrayed an in-universe fan of the Mane 6.

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