The Everfree was darker and denser than Sunset ever imagined. As such, she'd begun to walk closer and closer to Twilight's side, and much to her chagrin, the alicorn had rested a reassuring wing across her back.
Despite the embarrassed blush coloring her face nearly the same hue as her hair and the feeling of being babied, Sunset Shimmer would not be complaining any time soon. The wing was a surprising and welcomed source of warmth, as chilly could not begin to describe the ominously icy feeling the Everfree gave travelers in the brisk Autumn afternoon. Beyond that, the wing was soft, and Twilight's grip was firm. Sunset sighed. "It must be nice to have pegasus magic like that," She thought.
Twilight noticed the sigh, but lost in her own thoughts, mistook it for conversation. "Hmm?" She asked. A warm smile cut across her features.
Sunset's cleared her throat and rid her mind of the thoughts of jealousy. "Oh...um...nothing..." She lied.
Twilight shrugged it off and continued forward. The shrug lifted her wing just slightly and allowed the frosty air entry between it and Sunset's fur, eliciting a violent shudder from the unicorn. She noticed this and tightened her grip a bit more. Sunset gasped. She had no idea how the pony next to her, the one that had been so klutzy and unsure of herself the last time they met -even in Equestria-, could be so confident. It had been thirty moons in the human world. That was approximately two and a half years, but that meant that only a year had passed in Equestria. Why then, was Twilight so different? What could possibly have happened in just one year to have made her presence so much more...commanding, deserving of the title "Princess"?
As they neared their destination, Sunset took note of a small cave to their right, almost overlook-able. She briefly pondered what may lie beyond its stony entrance, but dismissed the thoughts quickly as she recalled it was that very curiosity which landed her in the predicament she was now trying so desperately to pull herself from, yet something about the cave seemed to draw her attention, even as she pulled away. there was something in there, something she needed to see. "Like it's my destiny," She thought. That was when she saw it. Up ahead in the distance was the largest structure she'd ever laid eyes on.
She barely noticed crossing the rickety wooden bridge, even as it swayed in the gentle breeze. Her mind was focused solely on the behemoth of a castle before her. The architecture was unlike anything she'd seen before, obviously medieval. It was a testament to the strength of the walls that they had, for the most part, endured the years. The windows which still stood told the tale of two sisters descending from the heavens to battle a mighty king. It seemed what remained of the end of the story had not completely shattered, but just as Sunset set upon the task of solving the case, her thoughts were cut short by foreign voices.
"You are worthy..."
"Come with us, and you will see..."
"We will grant you the power your heart desires..."
Sunset could hear the whispers in her head. A chill ran through her head as a dark cloud passed through her very being on its way to he castle. Twilight seemed unperturbed. "W-w-what was that?" Sunset croaked.
"Those were the nightmare forces," Twilight explained, "Ghosts of Nightmare Moon's dark powers. Don't worry. They can't harm you. Not anymore. We've eliminated most of their power. Just...do not let them persuade you..." Twilight's wing fidgeted on Sunset's back, alerting the unicorn to her discomfort. She looked over to see the alicorn avoiding her gaze and gave her a nudge on the muzzle with her own.
"Hey, I'm done with all that, alright?" Sunset said, trying to comfort Twilight. "I just want to get my old life back now. No power, no authority. I just want to be...me."
Twilight smiled and nuzzled her new student's cheek back. "Thank you," she whispered happily. They faced forward to find they'd made it. They were mere meters away from the steps leading into the castle beyond the massive, oak door. "The Castle of the Two Sisters," Twilight announced, more loudly than she had spoken before.
Sunset gulped audibly as she stared the imposing fortress down. "W-why are we here?" She asked shakily.
"Come with me, and I'll show you." Using her magic, Twilight swung open the door. She broke away from Sunset and went ahead inside. Sunset gulped once more as she observed the mare disappear into the darkness right before her very eyes. The void ate away at its surroundings, swallowing them up like a hungry timberwolf. She didn't want to go anywhere near it, but she knew she must. Drawing upon the courage granted unto her by the mask she'd worn in her darkest hours, she took the first step, followed closely by the second and third until she made her way through the doorway as well.
As her eyes adjusted to the dark, Sunset gasped. She believed now, staring at the rubble before her and statues carved away by erosion over a millennium, that she knew why the princess had brought her here. She took note that, despite the age of the place, it was in relatively good condition, as if someone had been cleaning and restoring it to its former, unadulterated glory like an antique on display in a shop.
"This was the site of Princess Luna's greatest mistake, and she deals with the grief and regret of that mistake to this day," Twilight spoke from the podium on which the thrones resided. Standing there, with wings outstretched and the moon shining behind her, she was a vision of both beauty and authority. Sunset once again found herself admiring just how much Twilight had changed.
Taking slow steps down the staircase toward her, Twilight continued talking. "This is where Luna became Nightmare Moon for the first time and faced off against her sister. This is where she forced her sister's hoof and was sent into exile. She made her ultimate mistake, and she was lucky it didn't lead to her untimely demise."
Twilight's words sent ice shards through Sunset's heart. She felt for Luna so much. It hurt her to know that that there was anypony else who had made such a grave mistake.
"However," Twilight continued. She was inches from Sunset now, and she rested a hoof on her shoulder, staring deep into her teal green eyes. "I was here when she changed back. I watched Celestia welcome her back with open hooves and a tear in her eye. Mistakes: ponies make them, but no matter how bad they are, they can be forgiven over time, and they are redeemable. You are not lost, Sunset Shimmer. We just couldn't find you for a while."
Sunset could feel the waterworks coming again, but she fought them off. She opened her mouth to speak several times, but the words never came. In the end, she remained silent.
"Here I am," Twilight told her, "To welcome you back with open hooves." Sunset gasped as Twilight extended her hooves, inviting the unicorn to initiate a hug of her own accord. "Will you be my friend, Sunset Shimmer?"
The tears finally came, and they brought reinforcements. Sunset could feel her body shake in sobs before she gently reached out and embraced her new friend. "Yes," She mumbled into Twilight's shoulder, "I would like very much to be called your friend."
4478574 Actually, that cave was a bit closer to the castle than the mirror pool, if you catch my drift.
4478579 But what if she tries to return only to find that the princess is in another castle?
4478788 ..... You just had to, didn't you?
Hmm If i had to make a guess i would say she probably went to the cave or Teleported outside the castle to figure out what it is she is truly feeling
this could totally benefit from a Spike tag
4478798 Yep. Totally had to.
NOREGRETS!!!
4478827 I've only had him in one chapter so far though. Maybe when he has some more lines. For now, I think that would just piss off some Spike lovers more than anything.
lol Darn. Thought you said this wasn't a Sunset/Twilight story. Still cute though.
4478891 I'm sorry to disappoint. I'm not sure what I said to make you think that, but I can assure you I never meant that by whatever it was I said. I hope you still read and enjoy it in the future.
Well then i cant wait to see what happens next.
Ok, that was just weird. Why the kiss? I don't understand.
4478905 I'll still read it. It's still well written, even if I disagree on the pairing. Hmm.... by the way, had some ideas you may like, if you're interested.
4479096 Ideas for this story? This one's already mapped out. Or do you mean for other stories?
4479118 Other stories.^_^
the story is good, but the romance in it is....overuse ?(can I say that can I say overuse)
Aniway, i'm gonna fav and upvote because I think in the end you can surprise me (and I'm curious as a raccoon)
Hope that in the end you gonna deserve yourself a monkey!
I think I'm going to give this fic a chance. Liked and favorited, read first chapter, will probably continue when I finish Urohingr.
4478891
Ummm..It's quite obvious, when you see all the groups this fic is featured in.
4479189
That, or at least a little...rushed maybe?
4479266 yeah that too thanks for putting it in clear word^^
Well this was a interesting chapter, when that voice was talking to Sunset i thought for a moment that it was the Alicorn amulet, on another note i do wonder how Sunset would react to the Tree of Harmony, as for the kiss... well i would say it seemed a little rushed, but then i thought that with how emotional Sunset was at the time and that she probably acted without thinking about what she was doing.
Poor Sunset! She's such an emotional mess that, stuck in a tight corner with a mare who is, let's not forget, the Goddess of Friendship, reaching out with all her power to touch her heart, naturally she'll lose control of her desires.
If I were Twilight, I'd stick a discreet tracking spell on her and let her have a few hours alone to recover her poise. To push the confrontation now would risk damaging Sunset's emotional balance and making her feel somewhat persecuted. Let her have some time to recover a little and be able to erect some defences to her subconscious needs.
4479548
4479446
Both of you are correct. She couldn't help herself, and she definitely wasn't thinking. You'll get to see how she reacts to what's left of the tree soon enough.
4479266
4479200
You're right. It was rushed, but that's why Twilight wasn't ready for it. For Sunset, the sexual tension had been building since the end of Chapter 2, but Twilight was just discovering that she might be attracted to Sunset. She was blindsided, and trust me, that happens in real life. I did nearly the same thing to my current GF.
4480152 Lol. It was the first one, and I'm going to turn that cave into feelz if it kills me.
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4480560 Thanks.
4480676 Typos? Where?
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
4480739 For example In Chapter 3 In this sentence 'she' should be uncapitalized: "...alike we are," She thought before..."
Or in this sentence, "...audible, and he voice..." should be 'her.'
In Chapter 4, one of your 'Sunset's should be capitalized.
Like I stated, nothing too glaring. It's only noticeable if you're looking for it (which, due to proofreading my own writings, I do on default).
4480146 i thought so
So far, I like this story. The only problem I have with it is the SunLight out of nowhere. It feels incredibly awkward and forced, and it isn't really necessary. You can have a friendship story without shoehorning random shipping into it.
4481787 Well it was intended as a ship fic in the first place, but I am going to slow it down from here on out. I've been getting a lot of complaints that the story is too rushed.
It's there mare mare shipping.
Darn it
4481811 Yeah it needs to be toned down by quite a bit, and you probably need to revise the story to remove that kiss angle in the latest chapter. I mean, plot has to have a progression. Sunset hasn't even been in Ponyville a full day and she's jumped from "I came back to learn from Twilight" to "I'm passionately kissing Twilight when oh yeah I'M NOT GAY"? No. It doesn't work like that. You need to go back and tone this down a LOT, slow it down so that the whole deciding to kiss Twilight out of nowhere thing happens after like, 15 or more chapters, not this early in the story. It's just...poor plot progression to do it like this.
Oh yeah, did I mention there's the whole neither of them is gay because they both had the exact same boyfriend thing? Because you've kinda got THAT working against you too.
If you go back, revise out all the awkward sudden romance out of nowhere cues, and slow it WAY the hell down so that Sunset admires Twilight for her confidence and her charisma, then they actually become friends, and then a LONG way down the line, this kind of thing happens? THEN it might make sense.
But that's just my advice, as a writer with nearly twenty years of experience. It's your story, so do what you want with it.
4482333 A bit condescending but a valid point. More than just slowing down, this needs a revision and a lot more buildup and dramatic tension. As it stands, you can't even qualify the romance as out of character, because not enough time has been spent constructing the characters for the romance to mean anything.
4482725
4482333 I'm actually going to be removing this chapter and rewriting it. Others may have spots edited, but I think the problem originates here, for the most part.
4482874 Yeah, chapter 4 is pretty much the problem chapter.
4484563 Thanks.
So, I somehow found a Sunset Shimmer story before Albinocorn. That shouldn't even be possible.
4485123 I don't even know who that is. :ajconfused:
so i just reread this after the edits, and other then just changing the ending to were they start off slower you also seemed to add some more emphasis on the cave...
4486014 Yep. It's meant to play an important role later, and I wanted to make that a bit more clear. There were some more subtle changes to actions and dialogue as well.
4486898 i really didn't pay much attention to the subtle changes, though i did notice them, and i am really interested in seeing what Sunset's destiny has to do with the cave, though i do have a guess.
4488278 And what's that?
4488348 well... if it turns out to be true i don't want to risk spoiling it for anyone.
4488474 Lol. PM me. I'm curious.
4488504 Ok then
by the way have you seen the new pictures on the SunLight Art form?
4488540 Yes. I had already seen the second to last one. Lol. I love it. That last on is great.
4488563 glad you liked it, i got most of the resent batch from sites other then deviant-art, though am having a harder time finding the title's and sometimes the artist info for them.
4488637 Yeah. DA's pretty god about that. Other sites, not so much.
4488652 true, which is why i mostly use DA for this type of stuff
I can guess how the original ending to this chapter probably went, but having said that, I really like the way this story's going so far. It's so touching from scene to scene.
4496384 Thank you. It means a lot for me to hear that.
SunLight story after season 4?
Hell yeah!
Have a fav, so I can keep an eye on your fic. Though the chapters are a bit shorter than what I'm used to and the pacing in first chapters is too fast and odd, it has a potential to make a great story!
Keep it up, mate!