• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 3rd, 2020

Blazer


I like me.

T

CANCELLED

One fateful day in Equestria, Twilight stumbles upon a book that contains a peculiar ring. Intrigued, she brings this to the attention of Princess Celestia, only to find herself smack dab in the middle of a mountain troll attack! She is quickly cornered. Fearing for her life, she accidentally uses the ring and summons a huge biped sporting a large drill on one arm.

Without hesitation, the creature cuts down the trolls, making short work of them. When it turns to face her, however, it obviously has something else in mind...

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 94 )

This story almost makes me wish that I was a little girl in trouble.

Almost.

Feels a Tad rushed. Its like speeding on a freeway, you're not sure
if your doin it rite.

But this is intriguing none the less.

Interesting, another BigDaddyGoesToEquestria sort of story (Can't get enough of those :twilightsmile:). And it's not bad!
I only have this tiny pet peeve. Double/triple exclamation marks not only do not make grammatical sense (CHAARGE!!!), they are also not really useful. They just take up space.
This:
Some kinda metal monkey!!
Has the same effect as this:
Some kinda metal monkey!
...Only it's grammatically right.

What has she done to me...?
What has she done to me??

Anyway, the plot is solid so far (No, that was not meant to be punny), characters are reacting in a real fashion and besides that little pet peeve, I have little to complain here. Great job.
Now, onto the second chapter...

This story is awesome so far, especially the action scenes. You handle them surprisingly well, I can't wait to see how this story turns out! :twilightsmile:

yess... yess.....
let the awesomeness flow through this fanfic...
let it consume it..

well written but you should have put a slow chapter before this getting to know rusty a bit more.

but stil damn good work thumb up and favorite.

FINALLY a big daddy in equestria story
you dont know how long i wanted to see something like this:twilightsmile:

Ahh! So many helpful and nice comments! Thank you guys so much! :pinkiehappy:

Seriously..all i can say is..MOARRRRR..please?

404138

Fixed the unnecessary punctuation. Thanks for pointing that out!

404128
It's my first attempt at a "short story arc", so it would seem a little fast. :twilightblush:

After reading it several more times, though, it does go at a pace a little too fast for my liking. I'll make some major revisions so it flows a little smoother once I finish writing out the story. :twilightsmile:

404340

Duly noted. :twilightsmile:
Totally jacking this idea for after I finish writing out the end of the story. :trollestia:

Dammit Lamb why? Why?:fluttercry: you made him kill his own daughter! Damn you!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

A wonderful crossover of Bioshock. I've beaten the game about a year ago! T'was good fun

Also, I couldn't help but notice a small 101 Dalmations reference in the chapter. Nice :pinkiehappy:

404618 if this found itself in the wrong HANDS

Such feel from this chapter...You've done well so far with this story :pinkiehappy:

I don't think that you mentioned that his daughter was old enough to be a Big Sister or not, but from reading this I'm guessing that she was a teenager instead of a child. I assumed that Dr. Lamb made her a Little Sister.

alright blazer ima go to school tomarrow and when i get back i exspect an update and please make my dam awsome cause i have math tomarrow IM COUNTING ON YOU TO MAKE MY LIFE GREAT :pinkiehappy:

405070
Yeah; I never mentioned it because suddenly throwing out her age seemed out of place. I could throw something in, however. :duck::

405107
I'll do my best; I AM on Spring Break, after all.

9 pages of material, here I come!
...:raritycry:

405331
Could try something like changing:
'My wife and daughter smiled back at me, the sun shining brightly in the background. '
to:
My wife and teenage daughter smiled back at me, the sun shining brightly in the background.
something as simple as that doesn't seem to seem odd or throw off the flow of the story. but I am not a writer so i may be wrong. :pinkiecrazy:

405376
Subtle enough. It shall be done.

I'm glad you pointed this out; being the author, I always knew it was a teenage girl from the beginning.

405021
Something more cartoony, but a similar idea.

404936
That was my favorite scene from the movie! :rainbowlaugh: Horace catching on fire, while the mom and dad were tearing at Jasper's pants.

406242 Indeed, it was hilarious :rainbowlaugh: especially when he called his name while he was stuck in the chimney

i have suddenly no more qualms about teaching eleanor to kill her. Lamb can for all that matters go suck a spinning drill in this.

Will Epsilon die by the side of his daughter with sorrow and agony or will he live with pain and guilt taking revenge by killing Dr. Lamb. No becouse Subject Delta and his daughter will so how will you make the story further i wounder.

412656
Ah, you will see very soon, my friend. VERY SOON. :pinkiecrazy:

I couldn't help but go "D'awwww" when I read the part where Epsilon put his hand on Twilight's head. Can't wait to read the second chapter when I finish this comment!

i.imgur.com/tHw0b.gif
I don't know if this will turn out right, but as the gif says, DIS GON BE GOOD!

this story is a REALLY good bioshock cross-over! I hope to see more in the future! I have only seen a few bioshock cross overs, but this, is probably the best cross over i have read so far, you made a completely different story with the game, but still held the plot of the game(kinda). what i mean to say is, you made it recognizable to the game, meaning that it could of actually happened in the actual game. but anyways, ima thumb up and track this story! and as all the other gifs here say, DIS GON B GUD! now, i clap for this story in awesoemness img.ponibooru.org/images/fa/fadf2954c4fd8e622942c45c42995941

Holy crap, a bioshock/mlp crossover that works! Favorited this, must see what happens next.

This is awesome! Tracked/liked fo sho!

That was exceptionally well done in many ways. Besides generally being awesome, I feel like you captured the bioshock side of it VERY well. How, bioshock can make everything twisted and evil. And at the same time, it has powerful and good underlying themes. The big sister turning out to be kate was the final straw, and set the whole thing in place. Again, amazing job.

412849
so when is this very soon? i need a new chapter NOW!

A bioshock and My little pony is awesome!

Does anyone else just want to go back into Bioshock 2 and blow Lamb's head off for all the crap she has done in this fic alone? I know I do!:twilightangry2:
But still, this was a great chapter, especailly the last bit and the fight scene was just grand, I cannot wait fro your next chapter.

Ummmmm... I really don't know how this is going to end well. There's a freaking portal from Bioshock to My little pony's realm. Bioshock creatures are going to tear Equestria to bits. I can't see any other outcome unless they manage to destroy the portal maker. My little pony's are very, Very peaceful there hasn't been a murder in hundreds of years. They really don't stand a chance. So its a race to see if the can get the ring before the world gets invaded.
Anyway its alright so far. The only other thing I can think of wrong is the instant friendship with Rusty as well as Celestia just letting him go. He has a freaking big-ass drill and she just lets him go on his merry way.

573478 Well, first thing's first. Only Lamb has control of the portal to Equestria. Second: This series is being rewritten for a severe lack of plot, as well as numerous complaints that we didn't get to know Epsilon better.

Hope this clears some stuff up. :twilightsmile:

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