Ok, this is my first ever MLP:FiM fic, so please don't expect anything on the same level as stuff by Buttersc0tchSundae or Lunafyre. Please be gentle with the reviews, however, I am open to any suggestions that can help me improve my writing.
Note: In this story, I made Caramel into a farm hand instead of an Apple Family member. So don't worry about any incestual stuff.
Also, please ignore the second chapter. I am new to this site so I can't delete that blank chapter.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Short and simple- too much so, in fact. It was a bit lacking and empty-feeling. But still, not bad for your first fic. No grammar or spelling errors I could see, and it reads well other than just being too, well, bland. Keep working at it, look forward to seeing more from you!
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Hmmm, I see. Thank you for the honest review, I will be sure to take what you said in consideration in my next fics.
I'd assumed chicken soup given by Fluttershy being what she gives to her chickens.
Too quick and short.
I liked it, but was disappointed it ended so abruptly.
Keep writing, just try elongate your stories a bit. Very impressive from a newbie though (Not to be confused with noob. Newbie is nice
)
Caramel was never even a relation of Applejack's to begin with. Also I'm more inclined to think she's closer to a mare than filly. But it still is a nice story.
