• Member Since 7th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2015

Tineid


I've been writing for quite some time, but never shared anything until recently. Hopefully you enjoy my stories. Whether you do or not, criticism is appreciated.

Sequels1

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Luna travels the dreamscape in her capacity as Princess of the Night, guarding against nightmares and helping those who need her comfort and advice. She chances upon Applebloom's dream, and discovers a skill she didn't know Applebloom possessed.

Idea sparked by Luna having already visited the other Cutie Mark Crusaders' dreams, so why not Applebloom?

Completed! Also probably the longest thing I've ever written.
Didn't keep going as strong as it started, but it is what it is. Criticism welcome.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 14 )

Interesting. Fave and liked:twilightsmile: This will be good I know it.:pinkiehappy:

Awww, this is too good to keep as a one-shot!!

Sure it can stay as one, but some one-shots beg for more chapters.

But I can understand how one-shots sometimes lose their power when more chapters are added, so Thankyou for a nice read anyhow!

4377895 It won't be a one-shot, I can say that. The way I write is to have something spark a little idea in my mind, usually a single scene without context. Next it percolates in the back of my mind for an indeterminate amount of time before I know it's ready. Then I sit down and write it all in one burst.
So even though this is all I wrote in that burst, I can feel that there's more coming. At some point. :twilightsheepish:

4378262 trust me this is good and i really want see more please get that burst again and again! has great potential!

Intriguing!!

Glad this story is continuing!!

Short and simple. But I'm not too sure about the pacing. But I feel it's leaning a bit on the 'just okay' side. It's a good and interesting read though, and the story seemed to flow nicely. But it can be very vague and confusing at more times than I would like.

I didn't even understand how Apple Bloom and Luna changed dreams in attempts to escape. For example, you wrote that when ponies wake up they could navigate the dreamscape easily back to their body. But in this case, I had no idea how they got from Rainbow's dream>dreamscape>?>?>?>Discord
It's very confusing.

4419997 Thanks for the input! I do agree with you on the pacing.

As for the confusion, I'll try to clear that up. The rule I decided on is there are only two ways to exit the dreamscape.
The first is that you are in your own dream (in your own head), in which case you can just wake up like normal.
The second is you are in a dream when that person wakes up. In the show, when Scootaloo's dream ended, it went all black hole and sucked Luna out. I imagined that the force of that would shoot her back to her own body.
So when Luna left RD's dream, she first tried to get back to Applebloom's dream so Applebloom could safely wake up. She was hopping dream to dream trying to do so when the other nightmares showed up. They prevented her from getting back to Applebloom's dream, so she went to Plan B. Plan B was to keep running until someone woke up with them in their dream, which would shoot them back to their own bodies. Instead, she was herded into Discord's dream, who never wakes up.

Hopefully that helps. :twilightsheepish:

That was adorable. I thought the pacing was fine, but I'm not picky. Just as AB and Luna were at their wit's end, Fluttershy Jesus shows up to save the day!

I know i am dream. Instead of changing it, i just go with it.
For example: i remember the last part of my dream from last night. I was in the cargo-hold/crews-quarters of my Sea Scout ship, with some WWII paratroopers (easy company, 501PIR). We had just come from watching a movie. I wanted to grab a bunk and get some sleep, but we were told that we'd be moving out at 9. I thought it was 9 in the morning, but i turned to see a clock, it was a few minutes before 9PM

The meaning is that I miss Sea Scouting (boat has been in dry dock for a month for repairs), and I should get up, and do my six mile run (thing is I'm sick, and my nose is clogged or runny)

I really like the end, the whole thing about how discord gave them new bodies was really funny! :twilightblush: Just one question though, what are they going to do about their old bodies?

4757465 I don't know about the others, but Twilight will figure out a way to switch between her bodies. Then she can let a body rest peacefully while she stays awake in the other one. No more sleeping for Twily, only books!

4763224 Yeah that honestly sounds like something Twilight would do!

No pony. Luna started to worry again. The Nightmares were gone, but where had they driven her? Was this their plan all along? To herd her into the dream of a creature with whose magic she was unfamiliar? Some creature that had no respect for her, thought her a mere child?

A creature that has no respect for Luna, but respect for a child who has a habit of causing trouble? Are they in Discord's dream?

Doing as she was told, the two of them stepped out of the boat and through the border between dreams. Tonight, Applebloom would see sights that ponies only dreamed of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o

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