• Published 11th May 2014
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Princess Luna's Suicide Solutions - kudzuhaiku



A young pegasus, not seeing any hope left in life, attempts to throw his life away. One pony's trash is another pony's treasure. And Luna likes digging through the trash.

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Chapter 1

Princess Luna and her loyal guard, her faithful companion in these endeavours, Gate Crasher, stood concealed in shadow, watching over the distraught pegasus they had been following for most of the evening. He had stopped at a cafe, a little hole in the wall type place in one of the back streets of Canterlot, ordered a cup of coffee and a slice of strawberry pie. He drank the coffee, ate one bite of pie, and then had left every bit in his possession behind as a tip before leaving.

And then he had gone.

He had roamed the streets for a long while, saying nothing to nopony, occasionally casting sad glances to those he passed by. Nopony seemed overly concerned about the sad looking figure. He went from place to place, his face grim and full of sorrow, as though he were looking for something, and perhaps, he was. But nopony seemed to care. Nopony seemed bothered by his condition.

At least, nopony that the pegasus noticed.

Feeling a pained ache in her heart, Luna observed the lone figure, feeling his pain, deeply concerned over his well being. All of the signs were there. All of the terrible disturbing signs. For too long, Princess Luna had seen events play out, seeing all of the disturbing signs in dreams, and then finally watching them play out in life, always a tragic ending. At some point, Princess Luna had experienced enough tragedy and now moved to actively prevent these terrible mistakes.

Suicides belonged to her. Princess Celestia had reluctantly agreed.

The lone figure now stood atop a jutting rocky protrusion, peering out over the several hundred foot drop before him. He wasn’t crying, or ranting to himself, or doing any of those worrying things. No, what he was doing was even worse somehow. He stood looking out over the cliff with his face full of silent resolve.

“Princess, I don’t understand something, he’s a pegasus, if he jumps, instinct is going to take over and he’s going to fly,” Gate Crasher said in a shadowy whisper.

“Be patient Crasher,” Princess Luna replied. prodding the burly lunar pegasus with a hoof.

The pegasus paced back and forth on the rocky edge, looking down, looking up, and finally over at a pile of jutting rocks. Looking determined, the lone figure strode towards the rocks, extended his wing, wedged it between two stones, and then rammed his body forward.

Princess Luna and Gate Crasher both winced and shuddered when they heard the sickening crack of bones splintering.

The lone figure moved once again towards the edge, peering over, and finally letting out one wretched cry, a heart breaking sound that made Princess Luna remember a very dark time in her own life, the point where she had thrown her own life away and something else had come along to claim it. And so many had suffered from that tragic mistake. Princess Luna had resolved to learn from the past.

“No you idiot, don’t do it!” Gate Crasher warned, knowing that there was no way the pegasus on the edge could hear him. Gate Crasher turned away, unable to look any longer, and felt a gentle touch of Princess Luna’s wing.

Bone was visible from the broken wing of the pegasus, there was no way he could fly with it being the way that it was. He stood at the edge, pacing back and forth, tossing his head around, steeling his nerve.

And then, he went silent and stood still for a moment. Without another sound, he stepped over the ledge, plunging forward into the dark night, falling downward towards the earth below, throwing away his endless potential.

Princess Luna cursed, causing Gate Crasher to blush heavily, and then took wing, moving to claim what had been so carelessly thrown away. She swooped through the dark night, dropping over the edge of the cliff, ready to take what was now rightfully hers.

Just before he splattered into the rocky ground, Princess Luna gathered up the troubled soul, cradling him in her dark shadowy embrace and singing to him a gentle loving lullaby as she put him to sleep, giving the troubled soul the much needed rest that he had been denied for so long.


Noctilucent became aware of a blue figure standing next to him. He was standing in a strangely familiar classroom. He turned to the strange blue figure, and with a certain sense of dread, realised he was looking upon Princess Luna.

“Noctilucent, such a lovely name you have. The world would be a poorer place indeed if you were no longer around to grace us with your beautiful name,” Princess Luna said, turning to look at him. “The clouds of evening. The clouds of twilight. Beautiful clouds that frame the sky of the recently departed sun and enhance the beauty of the evening. Night Shining in the tongue of my parents, from the old language.”

“What are you doing here?” Noctilucent asked, suddenly very afraid.

“In due time my precious Night Shining. Do you know where “here” is? Do you recognise this place?” Princess Luna asked.

“It looks familiar,” Noctilucent said, his eyes darting around.

“Wait, here we go, look right over there. Here is where everything started to go wrong for you,” Princess Luna said, gesturing with her wing.

Noctilucent turned and watched as he saw a younger version of himself slowly and shy approach a little white earth pony filly foal with pink and blue hair.

“No,” he murmured, knowing what was about to happen.

“If it is any consolation, she never found love either. You two would have been very happy together, but fate conspired against you,” Princess Luna said, looking sad.

Noctilucent watched as the younger version of himself slowly handed the filly a Hearts and Hooves Day card, and then asking if she wanted to be his special somepony. He couldn’t bear to look, and turned away so he wouldn’t have to watch her say “no” again and crush his dreams.

“Why are you showing me this?” Noctilucent whimpered.

“Because, you threw your life away, and I have claimed it. I am surveying what I have to work with. You, your body, and all of these memories, are now all mine. You carelessly threw away years of precious life experience and I have decided to sort through the trash and see if there is anything valuable to salvage,” Princess Luna explained.

“Get stuffed,” Noctilucent stammered, staring at the Night Princess.

Princess Luna laughed in reply, closing her eyes and throwing her head back. “If only you had used that courage to go on living,” she said, still laughing.

The scenery changed suddenly, Hearth’s Warming Eve. Noctilucent began to panic, knowing all to well what was about to happen.

“No,” he begged, closing his eyes.

“Silence, you are a non entity. You gave all of this up. You no longer have a say,” Princess Luna replied.

Very much against his will, Noctilucent’s eyes opened. He saw a younger version of himself, his best friend, and one very drunken filly passed out and sprawled on the couch.

He could hear the heated words between him and his friend taking place in this back room during the Hearth’s Warming Eve party. Angry words. His own best friend calling him a “coward” and laughing at him.

Noctilucent watched himself leave, fleeing the room, and knew what was about to happen next. He cringed. He had done nothing to stop his friend. Instead of trying to stop what had happened, he had fled, and the worst had taken place.

“If it means anything to you, you could not have stopped him. He would have snapped you like so much kindling and then still had his way with her. She recovered, just so you know. She was troubled for a very long time, but her foal saw her through, even though she had some trouble accepting the foal for a while. She came around. She was resilient and life went on,” Princess Luna said soothingly, gently touching Noctilucent with the tip of her wing. “She is now a school teacher that loves foals,” she added, a faint smile on her lips.

“I should have stayed and fought, even if I couldn’t stop it,” Noctilucent said guiltily as the scene faded away into grey nothingness.

“I am impressed that you left. You desired her. You wanted to stay. You wanted her very much yourself. You helped get her drunk, so generously giving her cider and mulled wine,” Princess Luna said. “Most in your position would have stayed, would have participated. But you had a change of heart.”

“I was wrong,” Noctilucent cried as the scene began to take on colour around him.

Noctilucent and Princess Luna stood in a crowded room, they were in a hospital, surrounded by foals, small sick foals, some who sat on cushions on the floor, others who had been wheeled in in wheelchairs, and others who had been rolled in in beds. Noctilucent whimpered as he saw the scene around him.

“And this,” Princess Luna began, “is the last time in your life when you had any measure of happiness.”

“No!” Noctilucent argued. “I was miserable! I hated doing it and that is why I quit! I couldn’t bear to look at them anymore…” his words trailed off into sobs as he spoke, unable to finish to his sentence.

“But this is the last place you felt like you had meaning and purpose. You took comfort in that. You were happy, deep down inside, it was the sort of happiness you had to be miserable and work for to experience it. In this room, reading this book, this was the last time you knew peace in your life. You made the decision to quit later this day, and so began the downward spiral that has taken you to where you are now,” Princess Luna said as the scene around them both faded away into nothingness.

“Am I dead? I remember jumping,” Noctilucent whispered, now floating in a grey void.

“No. I saved you. Right now, I am settling your body into a hospital bed. Your wing is going to require painful surgery to repair. You broke the ball off of your primary wing bone and it is lodged in the socket. You are hemorrhaging internally as a broken bone has severed an artery. I have recovered what you have so carelessly thrown away, and, I must say, I have found something of interest to me. You are mine. I will find purpose for you. And then you will do as I bid. You do not have a choice. You will not run. You will not escape. Even now, in the waking world, I am saying the words that are placing a powerful geas spell upon you, binding you to my will. Suicide is a terrible thing, to throw away such potential. Endless potential. I have seen into the center of your soul, and since you could not do what was best for yourself, I am now stepping in to do what must be done, because I love you and want what is best for you, my subject,” Princess Luna said, her voice imperious and commanding.

“So I have no say in this at all?” asked Noctilucent.

“No. You gave up that right when you stepped over the edge. Allow me to say this again… you are my possession. I have salvaged you. Noctilucent, somepony loves you, and wants to save you from the darkness,” Princess Luna said, gently taking him into a warm almost motherly embrace. She kissed him once on his cheek, and then everything began to fade.

Noctilucent slipped off into a dreamless slumber.

Author's Note:

I dunno, I hammered this out in a fit of pique. I don't really know if it is good or not. It isn't really a dark piece, or it isn't intended to be. Or even just particularly sad. it it just is, at the moment, though the tags might change.

To be honest, I don't really have much of a direction for this story, just bare bones and a very skeletal outline with no flesh. I am not even sure why I wrote this out. Nothing else seemed to want to travel through my fingers and I had terrible writers block going on.

I didn't mean to start a new story, honest, but the new story started me. It would not go away and I had to get it out. Crap, now I am ranting in my own author's notes. Bugger it all.

Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated, because I have no clue where I am going with this current trainwreck of a story, and I am still greatly disturbed that I even hammered out the first chapter, not really having anything planned. Love some in depth critique.