• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

AppleTank


Male. Los Angeles, California. Hmm. I have a WPM of 65. Meh. Occasionally arts. Lord of Dorkness's #1 fan. User #26976. inb4 Crossover

T
Source

Peaches. Peaches are awesome. Peaches are best fruit. James and the Giant Peach is my favorite movie. Obviously, when I got the funds to go to Comic Con, I dressed as a giant peach.

For some reason, people hate peaches. They should hate Apples. Apples are evil. My old peach tree told me that, and because I didn’t listen, one of them burned my house down.

Continuity: Optional, or for as long as I remember the plot.

Blueshift, this is all your fault.

Author's Note: I didn't try. At all. If this gets upvotes, I'll start seeing how many sharks I can jump intentionally because this does not deserve it.
[page_break]


Idiots.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 104 )

Most marvelous. Quite simply a work of art, unbenfiting of this generation.

Unfortunately, my happiness was not to last. Twenty minutes or so into the line, a felt someone tapping my shoulder. I saw someone in an giant orange costume. Offended by such a display of vulgarity, I snorted at him and turned away.

He snickered. And then tapped my shoulder once more. I snarled, grinding my teeth. He continued to tap my shoulder.

“Hey,” he said. “Hey Mr. Giant Peach.”

“Shut up,” I hissed,

“Hey. Hey Mr. Peach. Hey. Hey Peach.”

“Shut. Up.”

Mr. Peach. Mr. Peach. Hey. Hey Peach.”

I spun around, facing him, my face boiling with indignation. “WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT.”

Oh, um, Annoying Orange.

Glorious. Simply glorious.

Everything went fuzzy after the third one.

:trixieshiftleft:I see what you did there.

I just went back after several months to read Obselescence's "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches", and not three hours later, this gets uploaded. This must be destiny; there is no other explanation. You absolutely made my day with this story, and are now my hero.
Upvoted, Favorited, Shared with roomates, shed at least one tear.

Interesting so far. Let's see where this goes. My money's on Twilight and Applejack's peach vs apple feud ultimately destroying Equestria. Especially if that wasn't AJ that put the firework under the box but one of the apple trees.

Don't f:yay:k with trees, they'll come for you in the night.

so... 7 likes.... how bout them sharks eh?

:flutterrage:YOU'RE A MONSTER!:twilightangry2:

4360467
That was completely unintentional.

Also, I hate all of you.

4361122

Why did you do this? You were warned. :pinkiesmile:

You win an internet. :moustache:

Great story or greatest story?

It's not going to get any better.

I beg to differ. This chapter has a crazed, obsessed Twilight Sparkle performing ill-advised tree surgery and she has a flamethrower (which should be standard equipment for all librarians, IMHO).

I WILL NOW USE THE FORCE TO MAKE PEOPLE DISLIKE THIS COMMENT!
first.

Anyone else notice the fact that the kid actually IS the human peach from a different time in his existence?

Ha ha, I'm enjoying this and you can't stop me! :pinkiecrazy:

4363095
In the interests of praising you, I shall downvote your comment.

One of Twilight’s Peaches (somehow) fell into the labs, and they were found to help add the bit of life into the Rainbows

Probably because peaches are very much like ponies.
They're furry, they're a pastel color, and they're squishy on the inside.

Why are there still people following this?

Because you promised a flaming train wreck that jumps the shark, and it's exactly what you're delivering.

4366509 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*24 hours later*UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

Why isn't it over? WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?!

HEY YOU! DISLIKE THIS COMMENT!
First.

4617538
i.imgur.com/UGw1mKB.gif
media.giphy.com/media/qhyQfm8GBkWaY/giphy.gif

So, yeah. Apparently, you're supposed to try to attract downvotes in this comment section. Whoop. Hopefully, mods or the site's automated red finger detector won't break anything.

4618723 when I tell people to dislike a comment and then I say first, it usually makes people say: "heck no! I'm not listening to you! (Upvote)"
Or "ok (Downvote)"

4618836
......this is gonna get weird.

5344904
dammit, not you too.

5344931

Went and about doubled the amount of groups this thing is in.

static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rsz_mr_burns_evil_7487.gif

Just so you know what sadist friend to blame!

Seriously though, this was a fun little crack-fic. You should write more of it.

4363526

Probably because peaches are very much like ponies.
They're furry, they're a pastel color, and they're squishy on the inside.

Also in that not everyone likes eating them.

50 views in the first 5 min? What is wrong with you people.

5346690
Downvoted. Feel proud of it.

What the F*** am I reading here?

...

...

...

...

Why am I still reading it?

Oh and peaches go well with mangoes as a pie filling....

...ok I'm going to stop here

5347140
You are a horrible person.
That is all.


You should be expecting this.

5348288
boo.
Who gave this man an upvote?

Not even lemons.
Step up your game, son.

The cruelty is hilarious

5536306
Goddammit, not another one.
Have a

4617538
You can't tell me what to do.

5536769
Um, yeah, you too.

Oh god..
Why are you so bad at writing poorly?
I'm sorry but I have to upvote this story.

5537688
ARGH
Where do you zombies keep coming from.

We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.

5539139
... Did you start promoting this somewhere?
Promote Diaries, dammit. All I do is insult people and schadenfreude a pissed off peach.

5539784

i.imgur.com/BwKwKoU.png

Seriously though, it came up in conversation over at LoHAV; somebody asked if anybody had actually done a story were the person ends up non-human.

Believe it or not, but this was the best story with something like that going on I could think off. :applejackconfused:

5539816
And you couldn't remember a human turning into a pony?
Or just a LoHaV version?

Oh, that reminds me. I really should end this story arc with the guy actually snapping for once.

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