• Published 9th May 2014
  • 1,034 Views, 104 Comments

The Adventures of a Human Peach - AppleTank

Peaches are the most awesome thing in the world. Therefore, I go to Comic Con dressed as one. all other opinions are invalid

  • ...

7) Psycho-logic

A Peach sat on a small stool, resting comfortably on a cushion.

...and after I got here, that purple unicorn started eating me. Somehow, I survived it, and regained my consciousness after she planted me.

“M-hmm,” Pinkie Pie said, scribbling on a notebook.

For whatever reason, the pits inside me seem to clone my consciousness. Whenever one dies, we all get all of their memories- ow. Can you get them to stop sending me’s to be grinded? Its very uncomfortable.


Thanks. It paused. Oh. Ohhh. That’s gross. Eww. Damn it. My memory has been getting better ever since this happened. My old life started to seem to be visible in greater detail when I got sent back to my universe. Too late for me to realize I went back in time, and unable to warn myself of the impending fire. Sigh. I can’t even sigh properly anymore. I want my body back.


I used to be a well off guy. I had a stable job, a well furnished apartment, girls lusting after me, exotic cars. Now, I’m stuck as this. A damn fruit that is barely able to get himself anywhere. Only as a tree do I have the limbs to move, but soon my head is full of clones jabbering away.


Did you hear about the mess that unicorn... Twilight, I believe? made out of this? She and the Apples have this feud going on. The unicorn is talking about how nutritious pe - I mean, I am, and the Apples... I think they just really hate me and want to eradicate me. I would really prefer that to not happen, at least until I figure out a way to get out of... Hrrk.

It winced. Sort of. Ow. Another one. Sorry for the interruption


Thanks for hearing me out. You don’t know how long it has been to find someone who can actually hear-

Pinkie fumbled the notepad, revealing a bunch of random doodles. She looked up above me, squinting. “Oh! I am being told to inform you that I am reading off a bunch of notecards,” she said somewhat monotonously. She then perked up “Can I eat now?”

“ “


I spun my ‘vision’ behind me. There was a red apple sitting on a pair of treads. A few notecards fluttered to the floor, the rest hovering in a strange yellow glow. The apple’s stem was glowing the same color.

What!? TRAITOR. Or not. You were always kind of my enemy. Hey, how are you doin - ?

A glowing fruit cutter slammed down.

Author's Note:

Oh look. A self insert. Does this count as a self insert? I don’t know anymore.

Note to new readers: I feel guilty as hell whenever I get a notification that someone is faving this.
Fuck your shit.