• Published 9th May 2014
  • 1,034 Views, 104 Comments

The Adventures of a Human Peach - AppleTank

Peaches are the most awesome thing in the world. Therefore, I go to Comic Con dressed as one. all other opinions are invalid

  • ...

2) Twilight

Twilight woke up, the sun shining in her eyes. She was sure Celestia was aiming it at her. Hypothesis! Celestia is aiming it at her. She slowly inched to the side. A minute later, the rays shifted over to her eyelids. She shifted to the other side. A bit later, the sun was once again on her eyelids. She closed the blinds with a spark of magic.


She hesitantly opened her eyes. “AGH!”

A tiny ball of heated air shifted the curtains and shown a tight beam of light onto her eyes. “I’m getting up, I’m getting up, stop it!” she moaned, rolling off the bed and onto the floor. Sighing, she went to the bathroom and freshened herself up.

A few minutes later, she spat foamy water out of her mouth and washed her toothbrush. “Spike?” she called out. “Do you have my coffee-” Oh, right, he was having a sleepover. She had to make it herself. Dang it. She walked down the stairs, an annoying haze over her mind. A bright color wormed their way into her retina, kicking a bunch of nerves before Twilight noticed.

She paused mid stride and turned her head. There was a peach on the table. “Huh,” she said. She vaguely remembered an incident where she ate a peach. Or peaches. Everything went fuzzy after the third one. She woke up later of bad indigestion. But what she was sure of that incident was that the peaches were delicious. Heck, there was only one of them, right? It’s not like she was in any danger of overdosing again.

She trotted over and pulled over a seat, staring intently at it. For some reason, it felt as if it was staring back.

Who the fuck are you?

Very curious indeed. It smelled nice. Very nice. Peach particles from the subtly vibrating peach floated into her nostrils and ignited memories of pleasure. Drool pooled in her mouth as her horn glowed, levitating the peach.

What are you looking at. Are you thinking of- woah! Put me down, crazy horse thing!

Twilight opened her mouth.

Woah that’s dark. Wait, are you... no no no no no don’t eat me! I have rights!

Twilight slowly bit down, cutting through the skin. Her eyes closed in pleasure, taking her time to let the mushy remains roll around her tongue.

ARRGHH! MAH LEG! YOU BIT OFF MY LEG! WHY CAN’T I MOVE? Is that me in its eye’s reflection?

Twilight smiled sultrily at the peach, swallowing and preparing for another bite.


She took another bite.

THAT WAS MY DICK, YOU BASTARD. AHHHHhhh oh hey, that feels pretty-
She swallowed.


She took a bite off the upper hemisphere.


Several bites later, she finished off the peach. She shakily floated over a napkin and wiped her mouth. “Still as good as I remembered. I wonder if can borrow a bit of Applejack’s land. It would be a shame to just trash the pit.”

Author's Note:

Why the hell are you still here?
If you are an approver, I'm so sorry.

It's all Blueshift's fault.