• Published 9th May 2014
  • 1,035 Views, 104 Comments

The Adventures of a Human Peach - AppleTank



Peaches are the most awesome thing in the world. Therefore, I go to Comic Con dressed as one. all other opinions are invalid

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1) Peach

Have I told you my favorite thing in the world? It is the peach. I like peaches. It took several years of saving my funds and checking dates, but I finally ended up getting enough money and having the right time where I could get a few days off to go to Comic Con. Want to know what I dressed up as? You should know. I dressed up as a giant peach. Making the costume was a bit of a pain, trying to figure out how it would fit into my car, but eventually, I just got a bunch of chunks of styrofoam held together with velcro.

Afterwards, I spray painted the entire thing orange and red. I even had a little stem coming out of the top. I was pretty proud of my work. I put it away for storage and wait back to my job since I finished the costume a month before the actual date.


A month later, the day of reckoning arrived. I hopped into my car, made sure the costume was in the backseat, and had a three hour drive across the country to reach San Diego. It was really boring. Hours and hours of wheat fields until I finally reached the outskirts of the city. The closer I got, the more people and traffic there were.

Damn, it was packed. The fastest I was able to reach was 5 miles an hour. This ordeal took another thirty minutes before I ever reached the parking space. In fact, it seemed like the parking garage was even worse. People were wandering around all over the place, and cars packed up the lines. Fortunately, there seemed to be some ordering process, so I didn’t have to race everyone trying to get a spot.

I parked my car and quickly put on my peach costume with pride. I was ready to spread the glory of peaches. I walked down the stairs, admiring the gazes the people gave to my glorious costume. I flashed a smile all the way to the ticket line, where I merely nodded at them and doffed my leaf hat.

Unfortunately, my happiness was not to last. Twenty minutes or so into the line, a felt someone tapping my shoulder. I saw someone in an giant orange costume. Offended by such a display of vulgarity, I snorted at him and turned away.

He snickered. And then tapped my shoulder once more. I snarled, grinding my teeth. He continued to tap my shoulder.

“Hey,” he said. “Hey Mr. Giant Peach.”

“Shut up,” I hissed,

“Hey. Hey Mr. Peach. Hey. Hey Peach.”

“Shut. Up.”

Mr. Peach. Mr. Peach. Hey. Hey Peach.”

I spun around, facing him, my face boiling with indignation. “WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT.”

He giggled, giggled! and pointed off the side. “Twilight.”

I turned around and saw a female wearing a purple wig with a pink stripe through it. She had a purple turtleneck and lavender skirt. She was also wearing these strange purple ears and a horn. She was frantically looking at a map, as if lost. This made her unable to look at what was directly in front of her, and she ended up slamming into me.

I fell backwards... and fell... and fell...

I couldn’t tell when the blackness turned into unconsciousness.

Author's Note:

Don't you dare hit the upvote button.