• Published 18th May 2014
  • 10,996 Views, 250 Comments

Feed - Weeping Angel



Princess Twilight Sparkle has done something unheard of: she's found a changeling right outside Canterlot borders! But much to his surprise, Twilight saves his life. And when life gives you lemons, you will feed.

  • ...
33
 250
 10,996

When Life Gives You Lemons

His body shook as she stood below him. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest, threatening to burst from his body. If changelings could sweat, he would be drenched by now.


That is what Mimic first felt as he hovered in the air, staring down at Twilight Sparkle. She glanced up at him, staring intensely in his eyes, and Mimic, in return, looked back. Finally, the silence was interrupted when Mimic’s wings came to life and he swiftly darted off.


“Wait! Come back!” the princess called to him. Mimic ignored her, and before too long, he heard the flap of wings behind him. Shooting a quick glance over his shoulder, Mimic confirmed his fear: Twilight Sparkle was pursuing him, flying closer and closer towards him.


Mimic chuckled nervously, not believing the situation he was in. The law was simple: ever since the changeling invasion of Canterlot, the security in the city—and all of Equestria—had increased to an extreme. Rumors spread through the hive that changelings were arrested or killed on sight. Mimic wasn’t sure if he believed these tales. It seemed unbelievable that a country founded on the principles of love and friendship would stoop to such barbaric levels. Regardless, he was not about to risk a meeting with death, and by a princess of Equestria, no less.


It felt like forever until Mimic finally heard Twilight again. “I won’t hurt you!” she called exhaustedly. Mimic flapped his wings more vigorously. However, the gap between him and Twilight continued to dwindle. “Please!” she called desperately.


The changeling pushed her from his thoughts. No matter what the princess said, it didn’t matter. He had his mission, a mission that he could not and would not fail. He silently promised himself that he would not return to the hive unless his mission proved successful. Whatever the Equestrians would do to him was far less intimidating that what the queen would surely have in store for him. His wings beat faster. For a moment, he swore that his heart was now being outraced by them. He felt as if she was far, far behind him.


Suddenly, a purple aura engulfed Mimic. His mind went blank as he was brought to a sudden stop. He flapped his wings harder than before, but his progression had ceased. He thrashed about the invisible net that bound his body in midair, but grew no closer to escaping.


Mimic flipped around and saw Twilight Sparkle next to him, her horn ablaze. “I’m sorry,” she started, panting in between, “that I had to do this, but you have to trust me when I tell you that no matter what, I won’t hurt you.”


Mimic bit his lip as he looked away from her. Could he really trust some vain pony princess on the topic of breaking Equestrian law? This had to be some sort of trick. A means for her to gain his trust, but he would not fall for it so easily. There was nothing she could do to make him talk.


“I just wanted to warn you,” she continued, “that this is a dangerous place for changelings,” she said, panting.


Mimic glared at the princess, his patience slowly dwindling. If she was just going to torture him, she was taking her sweet time. He would have preferred skipping whatever pleasantries Equestria had in store for him and either locked him up for information or just outright killed him. “As I was saying, this is Canterlot—the place your queen tried to take over. Which means the city will have no tolerance of your kind and will kill you on sight.”


Twilight took a moment to catch her breath. “I can't let you go to Canterlot...but…," Twilight paused for a moment before finally making up her mind. "You could come back with me to Ponyville. I promise you'll be safe there."


Mimic raised his eyebrow. This is the infamous Twilight Sparkle? Surely this was some sort of mistake; a trick of the light. Perhaps, he merely heard wrong. He shook his head and blinked his eyes several times, making sure that his head was clear. And when he opened his eyes, he saw that what he had seen was not false. Twilight Sparkle was here and was offering him safe haven.


Mimic nearly chuckled. What does she take me for, an idiot youngling? It was a trap. It must be. How else could he explain it? Twilight Sparkle was going to trick him into trusting her and following her back to her library only to capture him in the process.


Then it hit him. Twilight had him in her custody already. Why would she trick him into letting her capture him? Was she really so arrogant? Or perhaps she truly did trust him? He nearly dismissed the idea, it was so foolish. It was most certainly a trap.


Suddenly the changeling was released from Twilight’s aura and his wings began to buzz again, causing him to hover in the air. It was as if Twilight could sense his mistrust. As if she could feel his thoughts coming from his mind, Twilight turned away and started to slowly trot off, not even bothering to give him a second glance.


It would have been so easy to turn away. Turn away and retreat back to the hive. Twilight Sparkle didn’t seem interested in him returning to his queen. However, he still had a mission. His people were withering away, slowly. Canterlot’s love had given them enough to sustain them. However, signs of famine and sickness had already begun to spread among his people.


The queen approached him and his troop to seek out new ways to feed their colony and like bees, they scattered to the four corners of the wind, seeking out ways for them to survive.


Days had passed and he had not heard from his fellow changelings about their progress. Perhaps they failed. Perhaps they perished out in the world with nothing to sustain them. He promised himself he would not fail.


Mimic glanced up towards the spiraling towers of Canterlot. The library that his queen had described to him contained thousands of books. Perhaps, one of them could save his nation. He would return a hero to his people if he could find one. The queen would admire him.


And then a thought crawled into his mind… He had heard a report about Twilight housed in some sort of library in their city of Ponyville. Perhaps, she might have information on the spell he sought. And here, as if the deity above him had blessed him with some divine providence, Twilight Sparkle had invited him to his home. It was as if the universe itself wanted to see him succeed.


Mimic swooped down, following Twilight. As he touched the ground, Twilight turned around to face him. Mimic gave a curt nod to Twilight, who smiled in return.

She couldn’t understand what was going through her head at the time. Here she was, admiring the morning that had been brought forth to her like any other. Celestia had truly created a wonderful sunrise. It shined over the country like a beacon of hope, warming the land in its ever-loving glow.


She smiled as the sun tickled her skin in its soft embrace. She felt as if her day was going to be spectacular, though she couldn’t immediately tell why. She just had a feeling in the pit of her stomach; like something extraordinary was about to occur.


Then a buzzing sound hit her ears as she trotted onward. She looked up and noted a changeling. At first, her mind went into a full blown panic. A changeling?! Here?! In Equestria?!


Her first instincts told her to attack. She dove for the cover of the trees, hoping to conceal her presence before striking. She looked up to see her opponent, silently hovering over the brush just ahead of her, scanning the area. He didn’t seem to notice her. Twilight smiled as if an opportunity had just presented itself for her. Her horn started to glow slightly as she aimed her attack at the unsuspecting target.


She examined him once more as if to estimate her target’s strength. There was something off about his appearance; something that caused her to hesitate. Her horn stopped glowing as she squinted her eyes, as if to get a better view of it.


Judging the distance from her and taking the blur of the sunlight into account, she noticed that the changeling before her was not very large. In fact, it was probably not larger than Apple Bloom.


The changeling was just looking at his target, presumably Canterlot, as if waiting for the right time to swoop in. She watched as he’d glance off into the horizon. Her heart started to ache as she thought about the young changeling, left alone in a presumably strange land.


She started to move forward, hoping to receive a better look. As she moved, a twig snapped under her hoof. The changeling quickly shot a glance behind him as Twilight looked up. In her head, alarms went off when she realized the trees no longer covered her. The changeling's eyes shot wide open as his lips trembled. His body darted off like an arrow released from a bow.


Twilight flapped her wings and quickly chased after him. He weaved and dodged, avoiding the trees around him. Wow, Twilight thought to herself. He’s pretty fast for a little guy.


But she refused to stop. She flapped her wings even harder. Slowly, she was gaining on him. She could almost touch him. She focused her thoughts on slowing her target down as her horn began to glow and she engulfed the changeling in an aura of violet light. The changeling struggled against his restraints, but Twilight’s spell would not break.


She made her way beside the small changeling, who simply glared at her. Twilight shook her head and smiled. She took several breaths, each one a reminder of her opponent’s seemingly natural speed. Perhaps, in a few years, this changeling could give Rainbow Dash a run for her money.


“I can’t let you go to Canterlot,” she explained. Something stalled her as she continued to glance into the changeling’s eyes. They started to squint as his lip started to tremble. Small tears formed at the corner of his eyes. His whole body shook uncontrollably.


A sharp pain flashed in Twilight’s heart as she looked upon the poor creature. A tiny creature that was lost in the woods all alone. The poor thing was probably frightened to death. She released her spell from around its body and started to turn away. "You could come back with me to Ponyville. I promise you will be safe there."


She smiled as she placed herself on the ground and started down through the forest at an intentionally slow pace. She wasn’t about to leave him in the woods alone. Even if it was a changeling, he seemed to be just as scared as she was, not like the evil changelings that had invaded the city. She didn’t think it was right to mistreat him for mistakes of others. Besides, he didn’t seem like he would be too difficult to control if he got out of hoof.


Twilight only had to wait a few extra moments before the changeling finally decided to join her, and followed her back to her home in Ponyville.


Twilight smiled as she led the way for the shivering changeling to her house. The door swung open as she trotted into the room. She let out her hoof, gesturing him to enter. “Make yourself at home.”


The changeling’s eyes widened as he looked all around him. He seemed quite taken by the mere sight of the library. He spent several minutes glancing around at the rows and row of books around him. It was as if he was looking for something in particular. He then turned to her with a glare.


Twilight simply smiled and carefully glanced outside. She wanted to make sure that nopony had seen them. Perhaps, nopony would ask questions as to why the newly crowned princess would be traveling with a changeling. Perhaps, way too many ponies would ask questions.


Regardless of what they thought, she knew she couldn’t leave him in the woods alone. Was she really supposed to condemn everypony of that race, regardless of how she should have felt about it considering her family was nearly killed by these same creatures?


She shook her head, wishing to consult Celestia on the matter. If anypony knew what to do about the situation she was now in, it would be her.


She turned back to the tiny creature, still wandering the library. There was something about this changeling that piqued her interests. No, that wasn’t quite the right word. He was frail, small, scared. He was nothing like the changelings that invaded Canterlot.


As Twilight gazed upon it, she couldn’t help but feel a little traitorous. This creature and its kind attack her home, nearly killed what she considered a mother figure, forced her now sister-in-law into a prison and nearly hypnotized her older brother into marrying their queen. Yet, here she found herself harboring one of the very creatures that nearly stole so much from her. She should have been angry, even vengeful.


But nothing came. No matter how hard she tried to become hateful towards it, she found that the fires of hate would not even ember no matter how hard she stoked them. She felt sorry for it. It was lost in the land of Equestria, there was no doubt he saw her as nothing but an enemy who only wanted to hurt him. She couldn’t imagine herself in his position. She would want somepony to help her.


Maybe that is why she was helping him now.


The changeling sat patiently in the center of the room, looking at her expectantly. He looked as if he was waiting for her to make her move, to lock him in her dungeon.


He never said it, but Twilight could tell from the look on his eyes. The determined look in his eyes spoke of uncertainty and resolve. Twilight gave a nervous smile, hoping that he would reciprocate it. However, he simply sat, his eyes still glaring.


Silence became king of the room as Twilight gave a glance to the mirror, hoping that she just had something on her face. She turned back when she noted that her face looked fine.


“Would you like something to eat or drink?” The changeling didn’t say anything, and Twilight mentally face hoofed herself. “Right, right, you feed on love.”


The changeling nodded. Twilight gave a slight chuckle. “Sorry, I’m a little short on that.” She giggled, hoping that he would follow her example. However, he still sat, as silent as a rock.


Twilight gave a nervous smile. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” He continued to sit on the mat, with no change of expression. She cocked her head. “Can you speak?”


No response. He—or at least it seemed like a he, Twilight wasn’t completely sure—stayed as still as a statue. Twilight’s ears drooped as the sides of her lips started to follow. Wow, I get more of a response from Angel.


She quickly erased her dreary face and put on a smile once more. “Is there anything I can get you?”


The changeling pointed to the bookshelves and stared at them intently. Twilight raised her eyebrow.


“You want to read?” she asked, happily pointing to the books as well.


The changeling nodded.


“Oh, that’s simply wonderful! I’m so glad that other species value reading as much as I do!” she squealed and turned to the bookcase. “Choose any books you’d like!”


Without hesitation, his wings came to life and lifted him around, and he began scanning the bookshelves. His holey hooves ran over the covers, and his head turned to the side, like one would do if they were reading the title.


Twilight smiled. Not only had she finally connected with the mysterious changeling, but her heart had filled with hope that she might be able to nurture his love of literature, the way Celestia had for her. She turned to him with a smile. “Oh, before I forget, do you have a name?”


The changeling turned around and looked at her. He nodded quickly and looked around the library until he found his target. Swooping to the other side of the room, he levitated a spare scroll tucked in a pile. Twilight silently reminded herself to clean the junk pile sometime. She started to blush as the clutter seemed to stack up. She thought it most uncharacteristic of her. However, her duties as a new princess seemed to have gotten the better of her. She thought that perhaps she would find a better balance to her tasks.


Her mind then transported back to the changeling in front of her, who found a matching quill as well. The quill dipped itself into some ink on her desk, surrounded by the changelings' typical green aura, and the changeling started to write on the scroll in front of him.


Finally, content with his work, the changeling flew over to Twilight and dropped the scroll out of his aura, only to be picked up by Twilight’s violet one. There, on the scroll, one word was written in scrawled hoofwriting:


‘Mimic’.

Mimic looked at Twilight, and Twilight looked back at him. For a second, Mimic wondered if the princess understood him, but soon, Twilight smiled again and nodded.


“Mimic. What a lovely name,” she said, putting the scroll neatly away in a bookshelf behind her.


Mimic was not amused. It was obvious Twilight Sparkle was just trying to be polite, for there were much better names out there. He knew at least twenty other changelings back at the hive named Mimic. There were even instances when the queen herself couldn’t tell them apart. It often became annoying and redundant.


He growled under his breath. Mimic. What a stupid name. He lowered his glance to the floor. Why not name me Changeling? They mean the same thing.


He looked away from Twilight, who placed the parchment neatly on her desk as she started to sort out the endless clutter on her table. He couldn’t help but watch her as she continued to smile. Smiles were rare among the changelings, even at the best of times.


This princess, however, couldn’t stop smiling, as if she was possessed by some smiling god that trapped her in a single state. He shook his head, silently cursing his imagination. Twilight Sparkle seemed nice, much nicer than the queen at least.


But why? he asked himself. Why is she being nice to me?


Mimic thought about what he was taught back at the hive. His hive taught him that Equestrians would kill them as soon as they looked at them. That is what was expected of them and they were expected to do no less. Had Twilight been in his situation, he would have done what he was trained to do.


Yet, his enemy kept him in her home and showed compassion as if he was some wounded puppy.


He shook his head, attempting to distract his thoughts; Mimic decided it would be best to get back to work. He looked at the bookshelves in front of him, anxious to find what he was looking for. He sighed as the shelves seemed to go on forever.


Behind him, Twilight just watched contentedly. “Is there anything specific you need me to find?”


The changeling whipped around, nodding furiously. He lifted his front hooves, still hovering in the air, and made a heart gesture. Twilight cocked her head at him, but eventually smiled and walked over to a section labeled ‘L’ and took out a book.


“I presume you need a book on love?” she commented, levitating a book out of the shelf. “Here we have it.” Twilight passed the book onto Mimic, who greedily snatched it out of the air and sat himself down in the middle of the room. His holey hooves went to the cover and opened it, starting to read. His people were counting on him. The queen, his family...every changeling was counting on him to find love. No matter what it took, he would find it. Lest he suffer the consequences.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Mimic sighed quietly, shutting his tenth book. He didn’t think it would be so hard to find love. And yet, with every page, every paragraph, every word, his heart sank. He stood up and looked for Twilight, who was also reading quietly on a chair, smiling as her eyes scanned the words. She looked so deep in thought, she didn’t even notice when Mimic left the room to go explore.


He wandered to the other room, his mind cutting back to his queen. He could already hear her bellows against his eardrums, daring him to return without a single shred of progress. He shivered as he could have sworn he felt her presence coming from behind him. He turned around quickly, but she was not there; only the princess at the other end of the room, still entranced by her book.


He gave a deep sigh as his heart rate returned to normal. He looked up to the ceiling and noted the layout of the place.


It was nice, cute for the bookworm pony in the other room. But Mimic couldn’t help but notice that it was just so…simple. Especially for a princess. Princesses were supposed to have big, extravagant castles, dressed up in finery for their kingdom. The other princesses all had one, what about Twilight?


Mimic felt a bit of pity towards Twilight. It didn’t seem fair.


But why should Mimic feel any remorse towards Twilight? His entire life wasn’t fair. That princess shouldn’t be complaining.


Mimic shuffled through the rooms, not knowing for sure what he was looking for. After a couple of minutes of aimlessly walking around, Mimic developed an interesting thought:


Why hadn’t he just changed back in Canterlot?


He mentally scolded himself for playing such a stupid move. He could change into somepony, hopefully important, gain access into the city without being killed, hell, he could transform into Twilight for all purposes, and venture into the Canterlot Archives to get some spells. This whole endeavor with Twilight was unnecessary and a waste of time.


Mimic wandered back into the main room where Twilight was still silently reading. Upon his arrival, the princess looked away from the book and at the changeling. “Oh! I didn’t see you there. I was just so wrapped up in this book… Anything I could help you with?”


She received a small shake of the head and pointed at the front door. Hopefully, if he didn’t waste any more time, he could make it into Canterlot by sunup.


Twilight looked stumped. “You want to leave?” she said rather glumly. Mimic blinked, hovering in the air. He could sense her true feelings. He felt his gut twist as he felt her emotions nearly sway his choice. He picked up on some mixed emotions, but mostly longing, sadness, and pain. Apparently, Twilight Sparkle wanted him here. But why?


Twilight quickly shook her head and said, “I’m sorry. That was rather selfish of me.” Twilight smiled. “It is fine if you want to leave, but it is a little sudden, and at this late at night… How about this?” she proposed, closing the book and setting it down next to her. “Stay the night. My assistant Spike won’t be here for the evening since he’ll be away for a couple of days. You can leave in the morning after a good night’s rest, and then depart to wherever you need to go. Just promise me you won't go back to Canterlot." She paused for a moment before saying in a worried tone, "I know what they will do to you if they catch you."


The princess’s tone wasn’t threatening, but it wasn’t just politeness either. It seemed like an act of protection. It took Mimic a couple of seconds, but finally, he understood it. It was loneliness; a selfish desire not to be abandoned. The princess of Equestria was lonely, and wanted him to keep her company.


Slowly, carefully, Mimic weighed his choices. His first option seemed viable. He could escape the custody of Twilight Sparkle. It would not take long and with the right disguise, he would escape with ease. The library would be a breeze to sneak into at night. With his shapeshifting powers, he could easily trick the guard into breaking into the library.


But the rumors stopped him. The rumors that Equestria had since doubled the amount of security at the castle of Canterlot. A changeling could not come within a hundred feet of them without being recognized. They were not confirmed either true or false. But if they were, no changeling without knowledge of where or what they were could infiltrate the castle.


No changeling could possibly successfully do that, but maybe...


Mimic looked up at the princess, not blinking, not moving at all. And then, he plopped himself on the ground, still staring up at her. Twilight smiled.

Mimic watched her, not once changing his position. Twilight smiled and made her way back to the chair and sat herself down.


“Do you want me to read to you?” Twilight asked herself, then mentally scolded herself for treating Mimic like a foal. “We have plenty of good books to read, and it seems to me that you’re having a hard time with those love ones. Maybe you’d like to switch it up?”


But to her surprise, Mimic nodded quickly, and suddenly his wings buzzed to life. He flitted over to the bookshelves, scanning them until he seemed satisfied with one and pulled it out, flying back to Twilight and handing it to her.


One and Only. Ah, I used to love this story! Good pick,” Twilight told him, studying the cover. As soon as Mimic settled down in front of her, the princess flipped the novel open and began to read.


When I was a filly, I used to dream of the sky,” she started. “My mother told me that I should always continue to dream, because it was dreams that made us.” Twilight kept on reading, smiling. As her words filled the air, she couldn’t help but notice the eyes of Mimic’s widening. He seemed be hooked on her every word, absorbing them like a sponge. She wanted to laugh, simply because she was so enthralled by how fascinating he was. Here they were, two creatures that had no reason to trust one another, and yet… They sat at the fire, reading a book about fulfilling one's dreams and pretending that they don’t have a care in the world.


It’s the magic of friendship, Twilight convinced herself. That’s what it’s always been. It was the magic that had saved her life more often than she could count. It had never been defeated or proven wrong. She was under the belief that any boundaries can be transcended with the power of friendship. And by saving Mimic’s life, she proved that her beliefs were solid.

Mimic had forgotten how relaxing it was to read a book. He used to sneak peeks at them during library missions and enjoyed every single minute of them. But this book was like no other. It was interesting, and had some adventure and comedy thrown in. It was a story of two friends working together to soar to the skies and beyond, even though one was an earth pony and one was a pegasus.


At first, he didn’t understand why the earth pony wanted to soar. He wasn’t meant to fly. But his belief in his friend and his determination would not allow him to believe otherwise. He remembered feeling his heart jerk as the pony finally lifted his hooves off the ground. He almost let out a cheer of joy for the pony’s success.


For the first time in forever, Mimic was enjoying himself.


But the nagging sensation in his mind kept him from having too much fun. He had a job to do and he had a mission to accomplish. That was all that mattered. All that mattered was getting the power of love, before his queen dubbed him a failure.


His mind raced with thoughts, worries, and nagging reminders, but they were all pushed back by one single thought: Just one more chapter.


He thought for a moment as he considered a famous phrase that ponies enjoyed. When life gives you lemons…

Author's Note:

Okay, as you may have noticed, I change perspectives every so often. The perspective change is always marked with a:

Just to let you know, NO, this is not foalcon. Absolutely not. NO. (I'm only saying this because some people thought I had foalcon in it. No, Mimic is Twi's age. He's just small because he's a changeling)

I hope this story doesn't generate too much drama like my past ones. I'm still learning, I know. Practice makes perfect. I'm practicing this whole writing biz. So please don't hate or get some random drama in the comments section. However, if you don't like the story, before disliking, please tell me in the comments why. I'd like to know for future reference so I can build up on my mistakes. I also hope I kept Twilight in character this time. :twilightsmile:

Also, I'd like to majorly thank spideremblembrony and SirRage for helping with this, they made it suck less than before :rainbowlaugh: Go give them a follow, they both deserve it a lot.

Thank you for reading!
~WA

EDIT: OMG this is featured!!! Wow, thank you, you guys! :pinkiehappy:

Comments ( 250 )

You know what's so funny? This story, named feed, popped up in the feed. :raritywink:

4409871 It's a conspiracy

4409876 :rainbowlaugh: I was thinking more of an inside joke, but sure. Let's go with that.

4409871
Baduum tsss!

4409876
I totally did that on purpose. :moustache:

4409879 angel is working for knightys secret service and trying to hint at us that the feed will be back soon

4409883 I knew it! #knightysreign

Is this is changeling x Twi story?
And is the changeling a colt or Twi's age?
Thank you!^.^

4409979
Twi's age. :twilightsmile:
I would certainly not do foalcon. Ever. No. :pinkiesick:

No, he just looks small, and it confused her.

hehe... anyway... il be keeping an Eye on this one.

It seems a little time skip-ish but otherwise its pretty good. I give it 7.465/10 so far.

4410203
Cool, I'll go with that. :heart: Thank you!

4410372
I deleted a line in there that compared Mimic to a child, and I think some people got confused and thought it was foalcon. But no, I would never do that.

Interesting? I think so.

Glad you like it so far!:rainbowkiss:

4409992 okay!Thanks for making that clearer.And so it is a Twi x Changeling story?^.~

Oooo I am interested. Will put on my read later list:twilightsmile:

Hmmm, interesting.
Some things:

Twilight has him in his custody already.

:rainbowlaugh:

though she couldn’t not immediately tell why.

You may want to fix that double negative.

She watched as he glance off into the horizon.

Missing "d" is missing!

written in scrawly hoofwriting

Since he used his magic, shouldn't that be referred to as "hornwriting"?

Anyhow, this feels new to me. There probably are stories with a similar premise, but I can't recall any.
Keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

MAKE MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:

4410885
Thank you for pointing those out to me. :twilightsmile: Hopefully they're fixed, and I'm glad you enjoyed. The idea was mostly inspired by the artwork, but it wasn't supposed to be dark until I got to it. :rainbowlaugh:

Hey, this was great start I think this could be added upon to make a sad story. I would love to give you idea's if you get writers block, this is something I wish I had made. If I could take this I probably would. You are great at your craft, if your good at drama do drama. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors. Be Bold. Be Free.

4411494
Thank you so much!:rainbowkiss:
I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :heart: I honestly thought it wouldn't be too good...
It will be sad as it builds up on the story, and it will get dark as well. I think drama is my best feature in writing, so I will stick with that. Not too good with comedy. :rainbowlaugh:

Thank you again!

Hey,there's no need to thank for the truth. You are an artist who knows what their doing. I might "Borrow" some of you stuff if you don't mind, I'm kind of jealous. Anyways though you might have thought you fell through on this one, I think that this is something that can develop to the point of being a novel or novelette instead of a story.

4411569
Jealous of me? Trust me, there's nothing to be jealous about. I had lots of help.:rainbowwild::heart:

I don't mind if you borrow some of the aspects from the story or any of mine. As long as you don't plagiarize, who am I to deprive someone of writing? :pinkiehappy:

But thank you again. I think you just made my day. :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::heart:

There is no shame in getting help, anyways that does not take away from the writing of yours. And by the way, you have chosen easy topics and molded them beautifully. I, on the other hand have to work harder for I create characters, story, history, setting, and emotions. I start from scratch, with every blade of grass to the moon that belongs of a princess god. I wish I had somebody to edit and revise my story, it would allow somebody to make sure it makes sense without clouding the original story I made. I'll follow you and I will make sure to continue reading your (and editors) works.

4411664
Thank you very much, good sir. :rainbowkiss::heart:

Don't like the story? Please tell me why in the comments.

This makes you sound a liiiiittle defensive, mate. Especially since its the first thing I see after reading the title. I'd take that bit out if I were you. :twilightsheepish:

4412052
Oh, I wasn't trying to sound defensive. :twilightblush: Just trying to see what I could improve on in the story itself.
I'll do that, thank you. :twilightblush::heart:

this story is very good bring me MOAR:rainbowkiss:

My editor revised the story a bit.
Hope you guys like!

“I just wanted to warn you,” she continued, “that this is a dangerous place for changelings,” she said, panting.

cutestuff.co/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/o-rly__ruserious.jpg


If I was Mimic, I would have facehoofed at that.

Life? Lemons?.. Heh, reminds me this:

It could still benefit from a proofreader. I’m picking out a fair number of mechanical errors just from a look over.

It isn’t quite grabbing my attention, but I’m picky about changeling focus stories, so odds are almost certain that I’m the problem here. That said, the masses have spoken; the story has been featured.

I can proofread/edit for you.

4409992 Anyone notice how he never answered the relationship question?

Excellent, me buck-o :moustache:

Mimic is safe as long as she doesn't betray Twilight's kindness. It is well within Twilight's authority to grant special dispensation for an enemy of the state to be present within Equestria, and attempting to improve relations with a hostile people is directly within Twilights purview as Princess of Friendship.

As long as Mimic stays in the presence and good graces of Twilight, anypony short of the diarchs themselves attempting to harm Mimic would be committing an act of treason. This will never occur to Twilight, as she doesn't think like an authority figure.

The greatest irony here is that if Mimic asked for help finding a way to feed the changelings without having to victimize ponies, then Twilight would bring her full resources to bear in solving that problem. Mimic's refusal to admit the nature of her mission for the sake of protecting the mission is, in fact, ruining her mission by preventing her from being able to complete it.

4414079
Erm, I must have to agree with you on that, except for one thing:
I am a girl.
:rainbowlaugh:

Who knows? Maybe we'll have some Twilestia goin' on. I don't know.:trollestia:

4414328
All of those points are very true. Except that Mimic is a boy. But Mimic, of course, couldn't know that. In his eyes, Twilight is still an enemy and can't be trusted.

I like it. I like it a lot. :twilightsmile:

4414435
Yay! Glad you like it!
Changelings... Changelings everywhere...:pinkiecrazy:
(P.S. I'm gonna work on the next chapter of Be Brave today... it'll hopefully be out soon)

When life gives you lemons..


YOU MAKE APPLE PIE!

When life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade. Get mad! I dont want your damned lemons! What am i supposted to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.

4414385 Can I make a spoilers guess, or... no, and I do apologize.:rainbowwild:

4414574
Sure, why not?
And no problem. Happens all the time, we are on the internet after all. :twilightsmile:

4413688
Do you have any experience? Looking for a grammar editor.

Login or register to comment