Butterflies In Her Tummy

by Hivemind

Part 13

“Who in Equestria just decides to leave mail at our front door in the middle of the day?” Spike asked himself as he walked back into the library foyer, curiously inspecting every square inch of the envelope and the hasty, scrawled hoofwriting on its surface. As the personal scribe of the smartest unicorn in Equestria, it irked Spike to have to look upon such despicable penmanship. Firstly, her name wasn’t “Twibright Sparkle”, and secondly, did the sender even know how to properly address an envelope, let alone write? A two-year old could do better than this! Whoever wrote this must have been a real animal to compose one this poorly.

Thankfully, there was a return address, or rather a return stick figure. It was a pre-schooler’s equivalent of a big, red, muscle-bound stallion with some sort of straw-like hairdo. Its legs were nothing but straight lines of red crayon while its head, neck, and body were drawn to look as big as balloons. Spike rolled his eyes, still thinking this was all just a prank.

“Twilight! We got a letter!” Spike called out after having ascended the library steps up to Twilight’s bedroom. He strolled inside and found the lavender mare hard at work assembling the elements of what appeared to be a field study session. It didn’t look like any field study session he had ever seen, though. What did flowers and fancy perfume have to do with things like science and astronomy? Unless she taking up botany, Spike sensed that something was definitely up.

“Not now, Spike,” Twilight huffed, looking over her shoulder at the pages of a large blue book floating behind her head, its title reading off the words all too-well known to the “lovey types” as ‘The Oversized Omnibus for All Things Romantic.’

Suddenly, the lavender mare perked up, looking over her shoulder once her brain finally caught up with her ears.

“Wait, a letter? From who?” asked Twilight.

“Err…somepony with a red coat wearing a dirty wig made of weeds?” replied Spike, squinting at the pathetic scribble on the face of the envelope. Twilight raised a confused eyebrow.

“A whatnow?” The unicorn’s magic levitated the envelope out of Spike’s hands and up to her face. She observed every inch of it, her observations resulting in a bewildered expression. “Huh…you’re right. That is err…something, I guess.”

“Well? It’s addressed to you!” exclaimed Spike, regaining a smile. “Go ahead! Let’s hear what it says! This has got to be something funny if somepony really writes like that!”

“Easy there, Spike.” Twilight giggled, magically unfolding the flaps of the envelope. “You aren’t exactly gifted with the greatest penmanship in the world, either.”

Spike crossed his arms, grunting. “Yeah, well…it’s better than whoever wrote that at least!”

With careful magical precision, Twilight fully opened the envelope and slid the folded parchment out, keeping its carrier held aloft next to her head. She unfolded the letter and, after pretending that the absolutely appalling hoofwriting she was looking at wasn’t even there, began to silently recite the letter’s message to the best of her ability.

Despite her struggles, Twilight could hardly read what she was looking at, but a few words were clear enough to make out. It seemed that Spike was right about everything. The condition of the envelope itself was bad enough, but the letter itself was the stuff of an Equestrian language teacher’s worst nightmare. There was simply no excuse for hoofwriting this bad. Even the results of a foal’s first coloring book were better than this, and that was saying quite a lot. Bits of dirt and a strange, orange material were stuck to the page, several words were misspelled or illegible altogether, and…was that a paw print?

Just as her sensitive suspicions began to arise, Twilight managed to decipher a small assortment of words within the letter’s memorandum.

Sunset.

--gazer’s Hill.

From.

Secret Admirer.

Twilight’s jaw dropped after she read those last two words to herself, over and over again, allowing the combined and distinct meanings of the twin terms slowly make its way into her thought process.

“I-I…B-Bu…” Twilight started to murmur.

“You ok, Twi’?” asked Spike, raising one claw.

“I have a secret admirer?!” Twilight suddenly burst out, leaping into the air with joy, her purple eyes sparkling in unison with a grin on her face that stretched from cheek to cheek. The objects she magically handled around her dropped to the floor like bricks. The excited, grown-up pony landed on her haunches and giggled like a giddy schoolfilly who had just been asked out on a date.

“A…secret admirer?” said Spike after recovering from the aftershock of the mare’s outburst. “What’s that?”

Spike was knocked to the floor when the excited unicorn suddenly sped past him as quick as a flash, kicking up a tuft of dust in the crevices of the floorboards. She stopped on a dime at a small bookshelf at the far side of the room and levitated a pocket-sized, ring-bound journal down from in between the concealing cover of two larger books. She opened it up and flipped through the pages, ceasing her over-zealous cycle that was her body’s overreactions to certain events once she found what she was looking for.

“Aha! Here it is!” exclaimed Twilight, holding an old piece of parchment above her head in triumph after retrieving it from within the worn pages of the journal. She tossed the tiny booklet aside and skipped on the tips of her hooves in utter exhilaration, all the while muttering the word ‘yes’ to herself in various pitches of feminine squeaks.

“Uggh…what’s that?” asked Spike, groaning as he sluggishly rose to his feet again.

“It’s a note I found in my bedroom back in Canterlot when I was just a little filly! I can’t read much of it anymore, since the ink is mostly worn away and all, but I can still read the name of who sent it! My secret admirer !”

The blue book Twilight was reading previously was levitated off the ground and into the air riding on a cloud of purple magic. It then took off, speeding towards the mare after accidently smacking into the back of Spike’s head, slamming the little dragon face first onto the floor once again.

“Let’s see, let’s see…” Twilight murmured, flipping through the pages at a breakneck pace. “Secret…secret…secret…secret admirer!”

Twilight’s hoof slammed down onto the page entry. She kept her cheeky grin as she brought the book closer to read.

“Secret admirer. One who disguises their true identity in order to achieve the goal of discreetly expressing their feelings of love or adoration through a note or other form of physical or social contact.”

“So…what’s all of this supposed to mean?” asked Spike, scratching the back of his head as he slowly rose to stand again.

Twilight beamed.

“I just told you, Spike! I have a…” a faint squeak escaped the mare’s throat. ”Secret admirer!”

Spike was surprised to find that he had never heard of such a term. He was, after all, the most handsome dragon in Ponyville, and by far the most romantic. If he could woo the lovely Miss Rarity then he can do the same to anypony in Equestria!

Or that’s at least what he keeps telling himself…

“Oh! Ok…but what about the letter?” Spike walked over and picked up the slightly-crumpled parchment, examining it with distaste and giving it a good read before passing it to Twilight.

“Hmm…you’re right…” Twilight took the letter and ran through what it said, taking special note of the five words she made out earlier. “Who could it be?”

“Isn’t that the whole point of a secret admirer?”

“Oh, I know!” Twilight giggled. “That’s the fun of it! I never did get to meet who my first secret admirer was, so this’ll be like a dream come true! It gives me the perfect opportunity for me to start conducting my research!”

“Well, it’s nice to see that somepony—“ Suddenly, Spike’s speech was halted, his brain having finally caught up with him. “W-wait. Did you say…research, Twi?”

“Oh yes, Spike!” Twilight replied. “It was more of a personal matter at first, but starting tonight I’m beginning a special extent of field research to look into the inner lives of couples, married or otherwise! It’ll be a lot of work, I’m sure, but it’ll be the first time I, or anypony else for that matter, has ever taken the science behind the concept of love and companionship into account! No one has ever succeeded as far as I know, though. Not sure why, but that’s not going to stop me!”

“Err…not to be a buzz kill here, Twi, but since when did you become the…lover type?”

“N’oh, Spike,” Twilight guffawed. “It’s not like I’m gonna establish a full-blown relationship with this pony. That’s not the point. I’m just going to get in there, take the usual steps I learned from my reading, collect the data, and I’ll be done. Simple!”

“B-but, Twilight! That’s not--!”

“Oh, I can’t believe this is really happening! I can’t miss an opportunity like this!”

On these words, Twilight’s horn flashed a bright purple, surrounding Spike in an ornate aura that swiftly carried him out of her bedroom and onto the floor just outside her door.

“B-but, Twilight--!”

The excited unicorn appeared in the doorway after casting a short-range teleportation spell in her excitement.

“Sorry, Spike! No time to talk! I need to get ready for tonight!” Twilight squeaked again. “This is going to be great! Celestia will love my findings! Haha! Get it? I said love!” She looked down at her irritated dragon associate, who was put off by both her friend’s cluelessness and the execution of her cheesy, overdone joke. “Mind staying home by yourself for a few hours while I’m gone, Spike?”

For a third and final time, Spike opened his mouth to try and talk some sense into the unicorn, but once again he was met with the mindless banter of an overly-studious mare who thinks she can solve the mystery behind one of the most complicated emotions in existence. You can’t just “solve” the riddle of love without experiencing it firsthand. Before he could get another word in, Twilight thanked him for “offering” to stay and slammed the door in his face, leaving the little purple dragon with an aggravated sneer on his face and a heated temper to boot.

~~~~~

Big Mac hung his damp bathroom towel on a hook after he stepped out of his bedroom shower and dried himself off. After grooming his mane back into its original barnyard hairstyle, he clambered into his bedroom and retrieved the letter off of his nightstand. It was one of the most bizarre things he had ever seen. His name was mere chicken scratch on the front of envelope, colored with red crayon and smelling faintly of mud and pond water. There was no return address. Only a name plainly (and messily) reading ‘Angelica’ with a purple splotch of color right next it. It bore a slight resemblance to a unicorn, only with stick-thin legs and a bulbous, pointy horn attached to the body of the abomination.

Big Mac sighed, figuring that he might as well take a gander at what was inside. For all he knew it could have been one of his younger, distant relatives who sent it. He tore off the folds of the envelope and retrieved the folded paper from within, which was surprisingly…in an even worse condition than the envelope itself. He put the messiness of the letter out of his mind and began slowly scanning its text. He found it frustrating to have to read such small and barely legible words, but all of his complaints were thrown far out of the window by the time he finished reading its concluding, appalling message.

“Oh mah’ word…”

~~~~~

“Angel! Lunchtime!” Fluttershy called out from the cottage kitchen.

Speeding through the house on feet of greased lightning, Angel Bunny zoomed from the living room into the kitchen and to the standing hooves of his pegasus caretaker. Fluttershy peered down at him and giggled sensationally.

“Wow, Angel! I’ve never seen you this excited for lunchtime before!” Fluttershy complimented his unexplainable behavior whilst rubbing his fluffy ears. He happily rubbed his head against his caretaker’s hoof, rapidly stamping his soft foot on the wooden floor to emphasize his enthusiasm for a good petting.

Fluttershy lowered a big, steaming bowl of carrots and various vegetables in front of her favorite animal. She rubbed his ears once more before gracefully trotting out of the kitchen and into the living room. All the while, the little bunny continued to hold a bright smile. His ears were trained on any background noise. He waited for the distinct sound of the cottage’s creaky stairs, followed by the groaning of a door’s hinges as it was closed.

Then, Angel Bunny sprang into action. He lifted his food bowl over his head and ran into the living room, throwing both himself and his bowl onto the soft, comfy couch, leaning back against one of the pillows with a smug grin on his white, cheeky face while he munched away on the greenery so effortlessly provided for him.

Now this was the life Angel had been waiting for. Not a life of selflessness towards his caretaker, but a life of luxury where he remained the top rabbit; the head honcho, the king of the cottage. Yes, it was a lonely life, what with every animal in the house living in perpetual fear underneath the bulk of his iron foot, but he had total control, and that’s all that mattered to him.

Of course, there were always exceptions, even in the most perfect societies. Remi, the vile rodent, was all that stood between him and dominance. But who was he to stop one such as Angel Bunny? One was cunning and the other was dimwitted. From what he heard lately, Remi was the newest object of ridicule amongst the creatures of the household, thanks to a violent outburst against one of the smaller animals that had occurred not too long ago. This gave Angel’s plan an even greater chance at success. Remi had no allies, and thus no one to turn to for help. He was now one less pawn in the way between him and a triumphant checkmate.

The real spectacle in his plan had yet to be revealed. Just one, little nudge in the right direction by a certain somepony was all that was needed. Ponyville will never be the same again.

Comments

[Autumnfire]

i really hope angel gets turned into a nice stew...

[DrakeRenar1]

Yay update!!!

Also, Angel's going to really get it bad at some point!

[PonyPuffy 2012]

2144368

A stew is too good for him, lock the little home wrecker in a room with Owloysius.

cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/800/600/2013/02/04/07_07_42_570_233219__UNOPT__safe_image_macro_angel_50e03067a4c72d77460006b6_owloysius.png.png

[Sky Blazer]

2144487 Owloysius: Hoo

[KibaWR]

.... can I shoot this bunny? Please?

[flawlessvictory20]

A new chapter!
3.bp.blogspot.com/-Orw3QzD9QDc/TqePEFelgYI/AAAAAAAACjw/JIdTHBGmo-k/s1600/57609%2B-%2BDJ_P0n-3%2Bartist%2Bsweatshirt%2Breaction_image%2Bvinyl_scratch.jpg

My only thoughts toward Angel right now:

[Glassed]

I wanna hate on Angel right now, but... I quite frankly have no other idea of what he's doing other than sending Twilight and Big Mac to that hill.
I need to reread this I think. Been too long.
-Glassed

[Sasha Red]

Admittidly... I didn't like this as much as the prequel... but I'm looking forward to the sequel.

[Hivemind]

2188420

...this is the sequel.