• Member Since 13th May, 2012
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Apple Bloom's reached the age where she's beginning to notice colts, and is vying for the attention of one one day when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon come over. The two are notoriously nasty, and today is no different. Apple Bloom's used to this, so she's ready to shrug it off.

However, Diamond's comments today seem to sting a little worse than usual.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 82 )

I had a similar conversation with some friends about getting chicks and stuff,except it was about having muscles instead of a cutie mark.

That would have been fucking weird if they told me I had to get a cutie mark before girls got into me...

Well, fuck.

Both the story and the comment.

When I was reading this I felt like they was basically talking about boobs.

4351474 what are you gay

Hence Diamond Tiara being my least favourite pony.

4351484 she's quite the bitch

4351485 good

When you put it that way, some men love a... Delicious flat chest.
I'm sure some colts (And creepy stallions) love a delicious blank flank.

4351401 You mean tattooing my ass isn't the way to get girls to notice me?
Damn it...
Anyway, good story, although it's a bit disappointing that there's no resolution and Apple Bloom is left musing that thought.
Oh, well. Such is life.

Doesn't really feel like there's a whole lot here, to be honest. It's like it's a start to something whose larger point was never finished.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just kind of get Applebloom spun up in stereotypical fashion and then it's left hanging. It seems like it doesn't really offer anything for the reader to get out of it.

Maybe I'm just being an elitist literary faggot, though.

I am a Diamond Tiara fan, and I approve of this story. Why? Because, as horrible as it is, Diamond Tiara is right.

Nobody cares if you're nice. Nobody cares about how reliable you are. Nobody cares if you won't use them and then toss them aside if that's all you can bring to the table. People care about what you can give them, about what you can actually do. Diamond is unnecessarily cruel about it, but she's only pointing her hoof at reality and telling it like it (unfortunately) is.

This story does the reverse of what the actual show does: it brings out the bitter, black-hearted cynic inside of me.

Of course, this all hinges on Equestria being similar (in this way) to Earth. If it is, then Diamond's got it right. If it's not, then she's just being antagonistic. In either case, I.... Well, actually, it's hard to say that I enjoyed this or had fun, because it actually just kinda depressed me because it brought the cynical side of me out. I can say that I think it's a good story, though. Slightly disappointed by the Complete status, but I think it works well as it is. The reader is left to wonder, and I rather like open endings like this one. Nice work.


Meh. You underestimate the cognitive diversity of humanity. Also,

Nobody cares if you're nice. Nobody cares about how reliable you are. Nobody cares if you won't use them and then toss them aside

is the same as "what you can give them and actually do." Believe it or not, there are people who actually want kind, reliable, loyal friends. So what if you run into people who are materialistic, prejudiced, or, god forbid, actually have a taste in friends' appearances. There are kind, reliable, and loyal people who also look good.

I bet you're a nice guy, who just can't get past the friend zone. Is that right?


I think this was more of an outlet for the frustrations Regibb was feeling after the mentioned conversation about mossles.


^That's all I can say^


I bet you're a nice guy, who just can't get past the friend zone. Is that right?

Oh ho, the gloves are off, eh?

I kid, I kid. Seriously, though, I've actually never been trapped in the friend zone. Hell, I actually friend-zoned someone else because I just didn't ever feel anything for the girl and would have been faking it if we'd ever gone out. I'm just a cynical young man with mixed feelings about his hope for humanity. I know that not everyone is so shallow, but it can be hard to find the really good people in the world, you know?

Or maybe I'm just crazy; it's happened before.


Oh ho, the gloves are off, eh?

Wow, you're chill. If only because I guessed incorrectly. Thanks for not making me regret faving Dark Spectrum.

I'm usually pretty hard to offend because I have such a low opinion of myself. If someone goes, "You're ugly," I'll just shrug and be like, "Yeah, I know." And I was kinda wondering if you remembered me, because I remembered you. Small world, eh?


No, small site. KEKEKEK

4351585 The reason why people think that they get stuck in the friend zone is that people are bitches who don't value nice people. It's not. It's because those people are nice, and there's nothing else to them. They don't do jack shit to interest the person. In addition, people are not slot machines you put niceness currency into and hope sex pays out. Sure, the nice guy thing is an essential part of making a relationship work, and if that's all you've got going for you, you're shit out of luck.

Unless you're rich.

4351543 It's my viewpoint as well. It's the stance I took when arguing with my friends—I might not have money or muscle, but I create content. I write. There's a market for that. People like creative content producers. I can land someone who appreciates writing. It's possible. Will it happen? how the fuck should I know? what do i look like, a gypsy?

I enjoyed writing her as a mega-bitch, because honestly, it flowed naturally. I contain the vitriol I wish i could spew during the ay, and it needed an outlet somewhere. Being a productive member of society is a pain in the ass, and I've got to do my part by not being the psychopath who bashed in someone's head because they made a passing quip.

Lest I become "le edgy teenager xD"

4351536 I set it up as a short story for a reason. It was just to convey one idea, based off of an experience I had. I'm sorry if you didn't like it.





Wow, 4chan has another containment board? I haven't lurked there for so long...

lrn2kek, phagett


It was just to convey one idea, based off of an experience I had.

I know. Not everything in writing necessarily has to be more than a single superficial idea, of course. It just feels more satisfying when there's a little more complexity, though.

I'm sorry if you didn't like it.

I liked what was there. I just thought you could have gone further with it. It speaks to a sense of insecurity that I think everyone has felt at some point, but all it really says is "it's there", when I think there could be some interesting things to dig a little deeper into about that if you kept going. Although I can understand if you hadn't intended to or don't feel like it, of course.

As Regidar said, it isn't that people don't value nice, but rather that many aren't just looking for nice. I'd say the most important non-superficial thing to have if you want to attract people is confidence. Jerks tend to be confident, even if it is due to not really caring about others. The "makes 'em laugh" bit... that also comes from a certain type of confidence. Confidence is sexy. And it also helps you with throwing yourself out there again and again until you find something that works.

Which is why DT is right to a certain degree. The CMC don't really know who they are. But also wrong in a way, as their spirit is strong. If they'll try every PG-friendly verb in the dictionary to try and get their cutie mark, they'll definitely have the capability to find someone who goes for them, even if they have to be the instigator.

Of course, if colts are anything like boys, the CMC could just get by with looks. As far as that goes, we know they aren't the best looking fillies in town as canon says that's DT and Spoon. But that doesn't mean they aren't good looking, or that they lack the potential if they put in a bit of effort. But I think we'd all like something better for the CMC than someone just interested in their looks :scootangel:

...This story....very realistic. DT is, sadly, 100% right.

Buuuuuut I know who her crush is! Clearly she's taking "you hurt the ones you love" theme to the extreme, if ya know what I mean :raritywink:

...Jeez, DiamondBloom is so ingrained into my mind I see it everywhere, no matter what :rainbowderp:

4351401 Donut worry bout that stuff. And if you do want muscles, just do daily push ups.

4351488 we're doing the glory hole thing in the dark here, right? Or am I the only one with his cock out again?


In addition, people are not slot machines you put niceness currency into and hope sex pays out.

This, so very much. I've had a number of friends who fawned over some hot girl because she was hot but didn't actually know jack about her, despite constantly being in her presence for weeks. That's why I don't like the Spike/Rarity pairing overly much, reminds me of all the other one-sided crushes I've seen crash and burn.

I'd like to propose another aspect of the "nice person problem" here, tying in with the notion of trying to bribe the other with niceness: A large portion of these "nice" people aren't actually nice, they're fake. They're also not talented enough actors, so their counterpart often senses they're fake.

You know, I'd actually like to see this continued with Apple Bloom struggling with these feelings, and in the end she actually GETS the guy and shuts Diamond Tiara up. Seeing it end like this... it leaves an odd taste in my mouth.

Diamond and Silver are so unpleasant. :applecry:

This, aside from a few minor grammatical errors, was a really good story. It might even take the cake as my favorite Regi fic. The premise is simple, as is the plot, but it's one of those stories that makes your gut wrench with how real it is. While this is fiction, it could (and did, according to your blog post) happen in real life. I feel so bad for Apple Bloom, who's now even more confused than she was before. I also feel bad for DT & SS to a degree (not just because I'm a fan of those two) because it's that flawed logic that will make them both miserable for the rest of their lives as well. I almost want to ask DT, "was it worth it?"
Great story, Regidar. Sorry it had to happen to you IRL, but you did what do best: turn it into a great story. Kudos, motherfucker. :eeyup:

Good story, but needs a few edits. Other than that, great job. :twilightsmile:

It's only a shame it ends so soon. Silver laughing it up at DT 'not judging' was adorable, can be taken a few ways, DT being protective because she IS a fillyfooler in denial, or she's totally judgemental after all or she's got a crush on somepony SP knows about, like herself, and just keeps that secret between themselves.

This was rather nice, almost like a twisted plot to keep Apple Bloom single so she might one day pick up AB as a filly-friend, lol, or maybe not.

Characterizations were pretty solid, the only odd and perhaps out of place part, or at least something that felt not very pony or at least AB like, was the wanting to bludgeon DT with a rock part. Her hoofs alone do serious damage, at least more so than pony hooves trying to balance a rock with one or both hooves as a weapon. Nit-picky, I know, but that one bit threw me out the immersion, like you were getting pumped there and just got a slight bit carried away with how the emotions in AB were boiling at that point, btw props on how you described the tone of her voice coming out as a chocking sound, the teary rage being held back as the hurt feelings and doubts begin to boil over yet still trying not to crack, not to show a visible sign that Diamond is getting to her.

A bit of word smithing on AB's one line there, and possibly but more concern into Sweetie Belle then just making her sound more cheery about getting DT and SS detention. Considering the look AB had on her face, or how she would be somewhat implied to be in, Sweetie Belle's reaction felt distracted? Due to the exclamation mark at the end of her speech, I can't tell if she was saying it as a way to cheer AB up with the prospect of getting even with DT or trying to convince AB that they can easily fix what was wrong with AB by reporting whatever DT and SS did to AB to Cheerilee. I'm just not clear how I was supposed to interpret that, pure concern, or distracted with the thought of seeking paybacks. I'd like to think Sweetie was just really concerned and tried to remind AB she had options.

That said, this was rather wonderful. They all really felt well characterized and we got more of DT singling out AB for whatever personal grudge or really bad crush that DT just ends up screwing up by trying to deny it through bullying her crush. I wish this was longer, but it would defeat the message of the story.

I suppose asking for a sequel on a story based on real life events.

Final Thoughts: You really mixed in lot of great moments. DT, despite showing off how much she was enjoying herself, really shined through and didn't feel exaggerated.

I wish I knew what DT got so flushed over. So many implies in this story. All so very vague, yet, still feel like hints that could imply a motivation to do what she did to Apple Bloom beyond just wanting to ruin her day in a malicious way, despite how sharky she was portrayed, she snapped back to reality on certain bits.

Expanded on my nitpicks a bit, if only for trying to be clearer:

I only found two bits that could use work, but only one that felt genuinely confusing where as the other was more for dramatic effect - AB wanting to get Tiara to stop talking, to just stop talking. The confusing one was more technical and minor where as SB is yelling, is soft/normal speaking because concerned over AB's condition, to being loud again which isn't clear in what wait it should be seen, "Oh lets get them in trouble now!" or "Oh, we can tell Miss Cheerilee and she'll punish them for picking on you!" which despite seeming similar, are vastly different in motives.

While some may disagree, I have to say this is pretty solid. You have a way with DT that I rarely see when she does things to mess with AB. DT made me feel for AB. But it was AB's reactions and showing she's able to stand up to herself that really made the emotional crush, that queasy stomach feelings really go through at the end.

I have to say, this was cruel. But the undertones and implies were great. It leaves enough to the imagination I'll say that. And it shows her in one of her target obsessing ways that some very messed up people do to secure themselves a friend or try and make themselves the only option for a partner.

This fic might get some grief, if it does, they didn't give it a fair chance. DT isn't flawless or an angel. She uses truths and subjective information to her advantage. If anything, she's a very flexible and complex character. I like that you worked a lot of those complexities into this story. Again, this will likely fly over some people, but over all, very relatable stuff you see happen in school or spoken to those who willingly choose to be single or aim higher than some think you capable of.


So, I deem this fic 100% Diamond Cutter approved.
best part? There were actually a few adorable moments with those two in this fic.

Don't worry Applebloom I'd still fuck you anytime :heart:

4351951 I would say they all look the same anyways, but I don't know if that's racist or not :derpytongue2:

4351401 Tattoos get chicks. Get a tattoo. Call it a 'Cutie Mark' and watch girls laugh at you and be all 'yeah, fuck it, wanna hang out?' all they want is someone chill enough to hang with.

4351585 And they love talking about their pet snapping turtle, love playing games but only ones they feel they can actually kick your butt in, and love that you walk escort them a house away from their home when all their 'friends' kindly tell them to just walk home alone at the dead of night. They don't care that you don't have much to offer because they want to pay for you despite feeling worthless that you aren't supporting for them, and despite all the amazing connection and how wonderfully beautiful they are, the moment you catch them trying out coke you leave give a disappointed sigh, shake your head in disappointment and walk away from someone who made you happy.

Yeah, lots of great and lovely people willing to find and even care for a good partner, but if it isn't a jealous ex or some friend or family member harassing them to dump you, it's that they end up secretly being in a relationship already or end up getting into drugs.

Sadly, the 'good ones' are few and far between. I guess this is why so many take to facebook and other forms of online dating. :applejackunsure:



What the fuck are you even talking about. "Escorting someone" to their house that's right next door? What? What are you even talking about? Why would you abandon someone when they're teetering on the verge of addiction?

You've obviously recently resigned yourself to leave the company of a friend you have feelings for, and are now bemoaning the state of affairs posited in my comment because this person was one "worthy" of being your friend?

Exactly what part of my comment struck a chord with you?

4354455 Not a house NEXT door, she made me stop escorting her a house before hers several blocks away...

Did I mention she was selfish?

I used to think that was cute.

It was complicated. You can assume the worst, but no one would put up with the things she did. She didn't just magically start doing drugs. She was always doing them, I just happened to have been denied access to that information from the one who hooked us up. It was complicated. She almost drove me to consider doing drugs with her, my whole life I prided myself in being drug free. She was the one girl I felt I'd be willing to sacrifice anything for, she made me happy, and I didn't want to lose that.

I actually kept a baggy of the things I almost threw my life away to for someone I barely knew. All because she wanted to do them together with me. The thought was barely a minute long. But to me, it felt like hours. I believe I kept them as a reminder what a lonely heart can lead you down if aren't careful. I have no regrets. What little we together are still fond memories. I lost her, plain and simple. Drugs, her parents, and her 'ex'. They won out.

I feel no shame in it. None sharing it with a complete stranger, and none for having fallen for her. In the end, it was either I accepted the drugs and be with her, or not and lose her.

Been happily single for almost two years now. Looking back, I still hate that moment of weakness that almost made me throw away my standards, throw away what little I had left at the time, just a selfish person who wanted everything their way. If turning someone down after giving them an ultimatum is a bad thing, I'd rather be in the wrong every time.


Okay yeah, that sounds more like a poisonous friend. Good on you for getting out of that situation.

... That's it, wrath is coming out to play so I can get this rant out.
What in the upper rings of hell was that. I mean, come on! We all caught the implied AppleTiara subplot, So why was she such a bitch to her own fucking crush? Jealous bitch!
Okay, that's it. Now for my actual thoughts. Okay, I'll admit the technicals, story, plot, grammar, are all good, so it is well written. However, this story... I can't stand a realist/defeatist POV in the world. DT is portrayed... In character. But she also gains some maturity in what she tells Apple Bloom. Which is the point. What I'm trying to say is the story got its point across, but that doesn't mean I like it. I'll still up vote for the sake that it is a relatively good story.

4355542 >why was she such a bitch to her own fucking crush
you always hurt the ones you love perhaps she'snot the crush after all...

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the place from which the story originates. It's a tough view to subscribe to, so I don't blame you.

Diamond’s shark smile grew. Taking a hoof up from the bench, she pointed at Apple Bloom’s lower body. “Blank flank..”


I like how it could be hinting at Diamond having a crush on AB:twilightsmile:

did I, though?

4352581 Quite so. No one likes a fake.

4352934 feel free to write a sequel, just link me when you're done so I can read it/pimp it accordingly

4353086 it's fun to write them that way, honestly
great for catharsis

4353716 I'm glad you liked it so much! It actually flowed pretty seamlessly for me, having been inspired by a real life event.

4353833 I done did edit this bitch straight up
problems should be fixed now

4356898 Be a cute twist if she did:twilightsmile:

Not your best work, especially with all the obvious typos. Diamond ignoring AB's remark about tge crush also kinda destroys the credibility.

However, your backstory puts a whole new light on this scene. Like wow. Why is the world so cruel?


Diamond ignoring AB's remark about tge crush also kinda destroys the credibility.

how even
explain pls

If you get bullied and then ask the bully the very sane question he's teasing you with ("What's YOUR crush, Diamond?" in this case) and he doesn't answer and ignores it you know he's just a sissy and actually jealous or something. Or at least so I think.

4361593 I think it's a rather common reaction. Of all the people I've been bullied/victimized by, they've always made sure to dodge personal questions and deflect back onto me.

I know, but whenever this happened to me I saw it as sign to take the person in question even less seriously. Then again, over the years I've learned to ignore pretry much anything negative towards me by default, so that migt be it too.

4362015 Well, that's the idea—Diamond Tiara isn't perfect. I wrote her to be quite the opposite. Bullies are flawed and weak with a big air of nothing surrounding them trying to hype themselves up. When someone actually provides solid thinking, it throws the off key.

So in reality, that scene was written just fine. The fact that it made her less credible was GOOD—I wasn't trying to write Diamond as a flawless presenter of logic. I was writing her as a pathetic bully.

Yes, and that's fine. What I meant to say is that Apple Bloom felt seriously down at the end, even though Tiara lost her credibility earlier.

But what the hell man, it's still a great story. I'm just saying that my personal experiences with bullying would put me to different situations. :V

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