YES!
Rarity was enjoying an amazingly brewed cup of tea. Business was booming, ponies were fashionable, and she only had to cry twice this week. Things were good.
She looked at her steaming cup of chai, a brew that cost quite a bit of money to get. Not too sweet, not too spicy, not too sour, just right. She levitated the cup to her muzzle and took a deep whiff of the brew. Taking time to appreciate the quality of the brew that resided in her magic grasp.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
Weird music started to play from somewhere as she moved the cup to her lips, she stopped and took a moment to hear the strange music, she passed it off as Sweetie Belle using her record player.
She focused her attention to the cup, brought it to her lips, tipped it, and took the first sip of the delicious-
"FALCON PUNCH!"
A blue fist penatrated through her table and smashed into the tea cup and Rarity's face. She was knocked unconscious instantly as the force of the punch made her flip in the air and land on the ground with a thud.
Captain Falcon came out from under the table and danced on top of Rarity's unconscious body.
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
He screams as he repeatedly T-bags Rarity's face. He runs out the door, dancing and skipping to his next target.
The hot tea stained Rarity's coat, and she laid there as it dried.
***
Twilight Sparkle enjoyed a good book as she took notes for an upcoming self test she had upcoming. She sat there and started scribbling on a piece of parchment. Making sure to highlight important information.
She stood up and stretched. She was a little peckish, so she decided to go to the kitchen and fish for something to eat. She walked over to her kitchen and began to search. She found some leftover oatmeal from yesterday that she saved. She took it out, and started to heat it up with her magic.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
She looked around in confusion when she started hearing strange music. It tugged her curiosity as she went over to her room to check if her record player was on...
It wasn't. Now completely confused, she looked around and searched the library to find the source of this mysterious music. After twenty minutes, she gave up and went back to her oatmeal. She grabbed a spoon and scooped a big helping of the delicious oats. Taking a big whiff of the stuff, she opened her mouth and took her first spoonful of the delicious-
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Captain Falcon burst through Twilight's window and punched Twilight in the face so hard that she was sent flying into the wall of her library, oatmeal flying all over library, ruining countless amounts of books with the sticky edible substance. Spike ran out of his room and saw the aftermath.
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
Captain Falcon yelled as he danced over Twilight's unconscious form. Spike ran over to the bounty hunter and started dancing himself, chanting 'YES!' in unison with the man as they danced.
Captain Falcon danced away into the town searching for his next victim, leaving Spike alone.
Spike produced a permanent marker from his person and snickered as he started to draw phallic symbols all over Twilight's face.
***
Applejack brushed sweat from her brow as she took a break from bucking her apple trees. Apple buck season was just around the corner, and she needed to start working harder as the busy season came. Thankfully, Big Mac didn't hurt his back this time around, so she had help in this trying time.
*Thwak!*
The tree shook violently as the force of the buck sent all her apples falling into the baskets prepared for them. One of them rolled out of the basket and right in front of Applejack, tempting her and her fatigued state with its gleam.
She was hungry, so she picked up the apple and breathed on it, shining it against her chest.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
She turned her head and looked around when she heard the strange music play. She was literally as far from technology as she thought possible. Hearing music out here was...unexpected.
But right now, her stomach overpowered her common sense, so she looked into the apple, seeing her reflection in it. She smiled to herself before sinking her teeth into a good ol' Apple family Red de-
"FALCON PUNCH!"
The tree next to her that she didn't buck suddenly sprouted legs and arms, it jumped and punched her in the face so hard that it sent her flying into an apple tree, the apples falling from said tree and burying the unconscious mare in apples.
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
Captain Falcon Tree danced around the tree that Applejack crashed into, while dancing, he stepped on Applejack's hat repeatedly.
He shed his tree disguise and skipped towards his next victim.
***
Rainbow Dash was doing what she normally did when she wasn't training or working, nothing. Being awesome took energy, and she needed to refuel her awesome tanks for the next day. She lazed on her usual cloud and napped there, content with just doing nothing. A growl was heard as she rolled over, her stomach needed food, and she wasn't going to ignore it.
She flew down to the nearest market stand and picked up an orange. Healthy, hydrating, and exactly what she needed. She flew back to her cloud and started to peel the orange with her wings, drool forming as she got closer to finishing peeling.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
She stopped when she heard music coming from...somewhere. She looked down from her cloud, and couldn't see neither hide nor hair of anything that could produced music. She smiled and bobbed her head in tune with the music, at least it was good music that she couldn't find the source of.
She looked at her freshly peeled orange and split it in half, peeling off one orange slice and bringing it to her mouth, she bit into the-
"FALCON PUNCH!"
A blue first came from under Rainbow Dash's cloud. Her chin being the victim of Captain Falcon's mighty uppercut. Rainbow lost consciousness as she flipped in the air and landed in a hay pile.
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
A white gi'd Captain Falcon danced around the pile. Singing and dancing as the hay began to settle.
Captain Falcon skipped towards his next victim as the orange fell on top of Rainbows head.
***
Pinkie Pie bounced through town, saying hi to every pony, and even some inanimate objects. She bounced and danced as the residence of Ponyville smiled in the wake of Pinkie's cheerfulness.
Finally at Sugarcube Corner, she bounced into the store and said hi to Mr and Mrs Cake. They returned her greetings with gusto as they began their tasks. She bounced into her room and reached under her bed to grab a box. She put it in the middle of her room, locked the door, put down her shades, and opens the box to reveal...
Another box.
And another...
And another...
And another...
Seventeen boxes later, she finally reached a paper bag and produced and beautifully made rainbow cupcake.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
She began to panic as she looked around and checked everywhere. When she deemed that no one was in her room with her, she moved away from her window and smiled as she began to take a bite of her-
"FALCON PUNCH!
The rainbow cupcake was shoved forward as a blue fist came from inside the cupcake wrapper. She was blown back and rendered unconscious.
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
"YES!"
He pulled himself from inside the cupcake wrapper and danced around Pinkie's unconscious body. He burst through the window and ran towards his final victim.
***
Fluttershy walked into her home after helping a family of birds make a new home closer to hers, she always liked helping as much as she could.
Angel bounced outside, and she decided to get something to eat. She walked into her kitchen and began to make herself a salad, one that she could have herself for once.
Going into her pantry, she prepared the ingredients, got a bowl from her cupboards, and began mixing.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
She looked around in confusion as music started sounding quietly in the background. She grew a little scared as the thought of a stranger playing music in her home. She looked around looked at her salad, shifting her eyes left and right.
She took a spoonful of her salad and began eating her-
"FALCON!"
Captain Falcon burst from her cupboards and drew his fist back. Fluttershy flinched and closed her eyes...
...
...
When she felt no pain, she slowly open her eyes to reveal a hand holding a refreshing looking glass of red juice, complete with ice and a tiny umbrella.
"Punch." Captain Falcon said as he offered Fluttershy a glass of delicious Captain Falcon™ Brand fruit punch. Fluttershy backed away from the man in fear, but that glass of juice did look tempting.
She carefully reached for the punch and took it out of the captain's hands. She brought the cup to her mouth and took a tiny sip of the juice...
It was the best glass of juice that she ever had.
She smiled and took more of the delicious drink and began eating her lunch. When she was done, she faced Captain Falcon and moved to hug the man, thanking him for the delicious juice.
He hugged back and scratched behind her ears, she hugged him tighter and nuzzled his ripped abs.
"Yes." Captain Falcon said as he hugged Fluttershy...
And outside, Angel lied in a smoking, fist shaped crater.
Want to see more ponies get punched?
Post in comments below.
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This deserves a mustache.
4353682 Thank you.
Please punch the princesses next.
Well, in answer to both the author's note and a general impression of the fic...
YES!
4353810 In my notes...
Also, a certain orange stallion
YES!
4354113
i49.tinypic.com/fm3pki.jpg
Ah, the case of what did I just read has returned in full.
... *sigh* I know I'm likely to get Falcon Punched for this, but who exactly is Captain Falcon?
4354262 He's a game character from a game called F-zero. He's also a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. His main move being the falcon punch.
"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions"
This is brilliant by the way!
4354337 thank you.
aww... nobody can punch fluttershy. Let's like throwing a puppy in a wood chipper.
4354392 Is Falcon Punching Winona INTO a woodchipper out of the question?
4354435 Yes, but punching her so hard she turns into a woodchipper...
4354456 Of course! Its so simple!
fc02.deviantart.net/fs45/f/2009/155/d/0/Falcon_Approved_by_EnterPraiz.jpg
4354435
YES!
4354797
4354435
That's silly. Why would the Apple Family have a wood chipper? The only thing they love more than apple trees are apples.
Now a Cider Press. That'd make sense.
I want bluebitch and shiny to be punched next
You had me worried for a second there.
4355274
Noted.
Blueblood, Gilda, Suri, Garble and his crew, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and all the Ponies who were trying to rip off Fluttershy in Putting Your Hoof Down, introduce them to the Captain's Fiery Fist of Pain!
Also, have the Captain say "Show me your moves!" at least once.
4355848 Kay.
lol dat ending
*Mane 6 come back to face Captain Falcon*
Twilight: For your crimes Captain Falcon. Prepare to feel the power of the Man S- *punch*
Twilight: You motherbuker! You punched me in the *punch*
Twilight: Ah you did it again! *punch*
Twilight: Stop it! Stop it! *punch*
Twilight: Ahhhhhh! Oh what did Celestia say what to do in this situation?
*flashback*
Celestia: Twilight, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face: always remember to *punch*
Twilight: Oh! Oh! He cut off Celestia!
Captain Falcon: Show me your moves! Dodge them!
Twilight: Oh that's what Celestia- *punch*
Twilight: Rainbow Dash! Support!
Rainbow Dash: Well you have very nice hair, your a beautiful shade of purple, and honestly, your the only one I can depend on in this group.
Twilight: I meant charge him you deaf mule! *gasp* Oh but thanks you know, that really cheered me *punch* AHH! Celestia I think he broke something that time!
Reference:
Dammit I can't seem to place what song that's supposed to be, and I want to listen to it while I read.
Also, smoldering crater of rabbit is the funniest thing I can imagine now.
4356721 oh god that was funny
4355562 princess celestia. Luna. Discord. And shining armor. In the balls.
HA! I knew it! There was no way he'd have the guts to punch Fluttershy! Anyone capable of doing such a thing has no soul!
...and the Marth shows up and tippers Captain Falcon...
oh god... MY SIDES!
I'd like to see the captain punch some princesses, non-ponies, and some villians.
OH MY GOD....OH MY GOD.... destroyed.
you can falcon punch a bunny, but you cant falcon punch fluttershy
OMG so hilarious, even more with angel being the final victim, but i expected flutershy to get a falcon punch
Listened to The Meaning of Truth while watching this...
Was not disappointed.
I died when it turned out Fluttershy was only getting a glass of juice... and that angel was outside in a smoking crater. Insta-fave!
#Falconjustice
Should be "Angel lay in a smoking..."
lied is not telling the truth
lay is like laying down.
Other than that...
halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/captainfalcon-yes.gif
4361217
Actually, he doesn't even show up.
He just grabs him from another dimension.
NEVER HURT FLUTTERSHY EVER