- Member Since 12th May, 2012
- offline last seen Oct 18th, 2014
cooopercrisp
Author of "Filly Fooling," "Cuddling," and "Spread."
cooopercrisp
Joined 12th May, 2012 ·
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I'm almost afraid to ask, but did Rarity get raped? Her demand not to be taken to the hospital because it might shred her reputation was pretty disturbing.
4348834
I think it was more she didn't want to ponies to see her in her 'condition'. I believe she said that she was going to go with the guy who drugged her, but then she hit him on accident. He stormed off, and she ran.
4348834 Not at all. I wasn't even thinking of that when I wrote this.
4349315
Yeah, I was assumed that was what happened in the section that preceded her "black out," but it was the missing time that had me concerned about her well-being.
4349735
I'm very glad about that. As for the whole story, there's something a little melancholy about how she arrived at her decision. The work begins deeply concerning, turns sad, and ends with a glimmer of hope that Rarity and Spike can still have a friendship, even if his happy little dreams are washed away.
It hurt to watch, but I applaud you for dealing with the axing of Spike's crush without making it anyone's "fault" and without making Spike into an infant who wasn't worthy of his own feelings. Twilight was also pretty much dead-on, vacillating back and forth on how she treats Spike.
In short, better than its current upvotes would indicate. Let's see what submitting it to a couple of groups will do, eh?
hmmm...
to me it looks exactly the same.....
but idk really.
That's an extremely jarring transition. Are you sure you didn't forget to input part of the chapter?
Not bad, a cute friendshipping Sparity. We need more of those.
All you have to do now is re-ckeck the paragraph tabulations. I've seen at least two that aren't lined up properly.
This was an interesting read.
The depiction of Rarity's inebriation was pretty spot on and entertaining, her character in general was spot on, Spike's reaction to her advances was believable, and the resolution was refreshingly sane.
That said, the pacing felt somewhat rushed throughout, especially in the second chapter, Twilight seemed too relaxed about everything for her personality IMO, and certain word choices in the dialogue didn't feel like the words that the characters would use.
All in all, interesting and entertaining for the limited size and scope of the piece, despite some flaws.
Then, Spike becomes a man.
Spike returned to the boutique to check on Rarity. "How ya doing Rars?"
"FOREEVER!" Pinkie screamed.
"My dearest Spikey Wikey the chat we had earlier ?" She paused" You handled that nasty bit I had better than any stallion could of" She sighed " Spikey, It's not the first I've done you wrong"
Spike interrupted her "No sweat , I'm here for you, You know that, Gosh,The whole town knows"
Rarity blushed "Spiket ? I too have a cru..."
The tag and comments (I kinda skimmed ahead) made it clear where this was going, and it was satisfying (though the sensual bits were still fun to read). This is the Spike most of us have gleaned from canon, but I'm worried nowadays that the writers don't see him like this anymore.
4349735
the resolution to this story was utter shit
like
not only did spike get friendzoned, but rarity made him do it to himself
this rarity you've written is gonna die still looking for her prince charming
and spike's gonna die regretting the fact that he didn't nut up and press the issue