Before I die, I want to ________
A stallion sees this statement on the side of a wall of an old building in his town. He contemplates it and things happen.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 19th Mar, 2013
- offline last seen February 2nd
themouthofmush
life is a pile of good and bad. the good doesn’t always soften the bad, but vice versa the bad doen’t always spoil the good or make them unimportant.
themouthofmush
Joined 19th Mar, 2013 ·
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This was good.
I enjoyed it.
"Before I Die, I want to ___" That is a very deep question, if you think about it.
4344647
.
thank you for the feedback. i wasn't sure how well it would do, considering i'm not good at the whole monologue type of writing
Wow.
This story wasn't feelsy, sexy, sad, angering, or any of those things....but it still struck a chord with me.
What I would write?
Cliche as it is,
"Go to Equestria."
Good story man!
You got my seal of approval,
~ TOOWC
4345716
coolio, my fine fellow....or madam. your picture isn't helping me out with the gender specific wordage. it's good to see that my first attempt at something like that struck you as much as you said. the seal of approval is a plus as well.
4345927 I'm a guy.
The profile pic, now that's a story for another time.
But yeah, I really did like your story, and now I'm even more impessed, seeing as it was your first!
Keep up the good work,
~ TOOWC
4346149
okay then dude.
the praise....it's too much for me.
4346155 Nope.
More praise needed.
ACCESSING PRAISE RECEPTACLES.....
REMAINING PRAISE IS IDIOTIC.
USE PRAISE Y/N?
Y
USING PRAISE...
OMG I LUV UR STORY
SO GUD I CRID
OMIGOD U R SO GRET
I NEED MOAR
I LUV U AND YUR STORY
NO PRAISE REMAINING...
PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SPIKESTACHE AS COMPENSATION
....Sorry.
I got a bit stupid there.
It's your fault any way with your great story.
4346179
yes, the three faces are indeed needed. especially since what you just wrote.
4346192 No problem here.
I never hate on a laughing RD face.
4346149 That profile pic is definitely some of DimWitDog's finest stuff am I right?
4348293 Oh hell yes.
4364618 Nailed it
I read this, but strangely I never reviewed it.
It's very interesting.
4754004
thank you. like i explained in the explanation, it was floating in my head for a while and i decided to finally do something and then this happened.
Wow.
Seriously, wow. Even with very little character detail, you managed to paint a vivid emotional picture that struck deep within my heart. I actually like the fact that you didn't describe the narrator or give him a name, which lets the reader put themselves in his horseshoes.
A deep question like that leads to a deep answer, and you more than provided.
5798879
wow, just wow. i think that's more praise than i deserve for this. seriously, i'm grateful, but a lot of praise.
According to google, jaunting means "go on a short excursion or journey for pleasure"... I'm not sure if you meant to say 'jolting' or 'daunting, or if that's actually what you meant, since one could say the question sent him on a short, pleasurable journey.
It did for me. I like the contrast between the feeling of community the wall gives, and also the feeling (for the narrator anyway) of being alone.
Kind of like how the question is both sobering and hopeful, since it forces us to remember our mortality while reminding us we have time to spend on what matters...
Sorry, I'm taking a bunch of literature classes right now. Hopefully you can find comfort in learning that your story's as fun to analyze as the works of T.S. Eliot and the like.
7517254 okay, T.S. Elliot, really? no way i'm comparable to him.