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Vinyl Scratch is the master of the dance floor. She controls the sights, the sounds, and the very actions of the ponies. One night, a wallflower comes on the floor, and Vinyl helps her find a new comfort zone.
A brief reflection on art, from the creator, to the work, to the audience.
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Yep! Very good, Mind's eye. I liked it. Quite a lot, actually.
I think you captured Vinyl very well in there. All without a word of dialogue. That takes some talent.
If you want, I can put on my editor hat later and comb through it, but it captured my attention well enough that I didn't notice anything right off.
Good work. Have a
4340022
and raise you a 
I see your
Feel free to comb through it if you'd like. This was done lightning quick by my standards, so I'm sure you could find some problems.
Um... Further thoughts, now that I've gotten the Squee moment out.
I loved the little bits with Vinyl's backstory that you wove into the story. They don't break from it (much,) and feel like they should be there to tell the story.
I also think that the way you used the music and descriptions of the sound worked out really well. They didn't detract from the story, an exploration of Vinyl as a character I'm guessing, and also...
Vinyl as Cupid using a bass cannon instead of a bow and arrow?
Maybe my Squee wasn't over...
Okay... so combing.
One here:
Commas go inside the parens.
Is repeated three times in three paragraphs. I actually had to go back and make sure I wasn't seeing triple. It's a stylistic choice, but perhaps breaking it out into its own paragraph with just that sentence would make it easier to tell them apart.
Other than that, it looks pretty solid. You've got a good, varied sentence length, not a lot of telling (and when it makes sense, IE close third person perspective sentences.)
Kudos again!
Edit: removed unwarranted nitpickiness.
4340137
Fixed the comma and broke off those three sentences. I didn't want to go overkill with too many one sentence paragraphs, but I gotta say it looks better.
4340231
Yep. I'll send you a PM so as not to clutter up your comment section.
Celestia, this was wonderful! A fave for you!
4340270
Thank you very much.
This is all I can think of:
4340432
Bingo!
And I can't tell you how hard I laughed when I saw "Tony Montana commented on your story." Good on you for not using an avatar with his little friend. That would have been taking the easy way out.
4340448 Do you know what a chazzer is?
4340553
I can't recall it off the top of my head. I could look it up, but all I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.
And it was quite a beautiful moment in time.
Funny thing. I was supposed to go through a number of stories in my Read Later tonight. This was the first one I read, and now I don't want to read anymore tonight 'cause I just want to savor the moment and the feelings I got from this story.
Kudos for that.
4354170
I believe that is the first time someone paraphrased my work to compliment me. It was quite flattering. Thanks!
I really liked this! The way it made it seem like Vinyl Scratch was a painter, not a musican. The room, her canvass. The crowd, messy splotches of paint . . and the lights, her thinner and coating that fine-tunes the messy splotches into a perfect painting.
Have a few more
4370216
I'm up to a grand total of 11 likes and 6 yays!
Thanks!
Interesting, but I can't help but fell it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.
4704162
Any particular reason why? I know it's quirky without dialogue, and it's near the bare minimum for word count, but I might play around with this style again someday. If anything comes to mind, I'd like to hear it.
4704536 Well, call it a personal preference, but I prefer my stories with a bit more in the way of plot. (Not that it was lacking here,
it was just a bit harder to pick up on was all)
Although, I think the main problem I had with it is that when you were writing Vinyl, there weren't any identifiable quirks to her personality. Like for example, when most people write for Pinkie, she's upbeat and chipper (unless it's crazy depressed Pinkie). Harder to do with a non-canon pony I'll admit, but there should still be something there to set her apart from the rest of the crowd.
4704771
Good point. Thanks.
it would be better if you use this song