Chapter Eighteen - We Need to Talk
The air was deathly quiet as I looked at Nightmare, waiting for her to respond.
“You… you followed me?” she asked, the sudden question catching me off-guard for a moment before I nodded my head. “Why?”
To be totally honest, I had no idea why I followed her all the way out here. Even as I was chasing her mist form, I questioned why I was making the effort to catch up to her. I just felt compelled to do it, like I needed to actually talk to her after all this time, but none of these assumptions helped to alleviate my confusion.
I looked at Nightmare and saw that she was staring right at me, waiting for me to answer her question. Since I couldn’t come up with an answer, I just decided to explain what I was doing before she found me.
“Well, I got your voicemail, but I ran into Brickstone before I could hear where you wanted me to meet you,” I explained.
“So you were going to accept my offer to meet up with me?” she asked, a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes.
“That’s not the point,” I interjected, stopping her before she could get her hopes up. “How did you find me?”
The alicorn’s eyes widened at my question, and she took a step back as she averted her gaze from me. “I was in the area and I just happened to see you in trouble, so I did what any good pony would do.”
“Sure,” I said, my eyes narrowing at her as I paused to take a breath. “When you showed up, I felt a cool breeze blow past me.”
Nightmare took another step back while I took one step forward.
“And I’ve felt that breeze a few times before back when we had just broken up.”
She stepped back again, only for me to once again take a step forward in kind.
“That was you, wasn’t it?” I finally asked.
Nightmare tried to step back once more, only for her back to hit the barely standing wall. Her breathing became erratic as she shut her eyes tightly, not wanting to give me an answer…
In doing so, however, she already had given me an answer, one that I was far from happy with.
“You were following me, weren’t you!?” I yelled accusingly.
“Noah, please. Let me explain,” she begged, but her cries fell on deaf ears.
“Let you explain!?” I asked incredulously. “Why the hell should I!?”
“I know you’re mad, but all I ask is that you give me a chance to explain myself. Once I’m done, you can yell at me all you want. Just please let me say this.”
As much as I wanted to keep yelling at Nightmare, and as angry as I was at the realization that she had been following me, there was still that part of me that wondered why she did so when I made it perfectly clear that I wanted her nowhere near me.
I took a long, deep breath and looked at the alicorn. “I don’t know what possible reason you could have, but fine,” I grumbled.
Nightmare immediately eased her tense posture, resting her back on the wall and placing a hand on her chest in relief. “Thank you,” she sighed as she sat down on the floor. I groaned inwardly and sat down as well. If her sitting down was any indication, I was in for a long story.
I noticed that her eyes were looking everywhere else but at me, and her hands were shaking lightly as she tried to come up with something to say. “Okay, so…” she mumbled, “before I start, I just want you to know that I’m not trying to justify what I did, okay?”
I nodded my head silently, my arms crossed as I waited for her to go on. As I waited, I looked to my right hand side and saw a large pile of crumpled papers lying on the ground, and I couldn’t help but wonder what that was doing there.
I heard Nightmare take a breath to speak, and I turned my head to give her my attention “When you broke up with me, I knew that staying with you was out of the question, and I didn’t want to bring Klaus and Maud into it, so this was the only place I could think of for me to stay,” she explained. “I was still really shaken up and my first night here since I left was just… unbearable for me. I was so used to having you next to me at night that I just couldn’t get any sleep.”
She grasped her shoulders firmly to keep herself from shivering, supposedly from the unpleasant memory.
“By the time the next morning came I had to at least see you, so I went to school in my mist form so I could get that chance. I felt a little better, but I still wanted to be able to talk to you, or at least have some way to release my emotions, so I wrote that first letter to you.”
“You mean that obsessive love note?” I commented, and the mare’s head fell in shame.
“I know. I regretted writing that letter, but I still hoped that you’d at least take the time to read it, so I waited outside your window… and then I saw you rip it up the letter and throw it away…”
I rolled my eyes. Great, so she was basically stalking me. Wonderful.
Suddenly, I heard Nightmare sniffle, and I looked at her to see that there were tears running down her cheeks. “I felt so stupid…” she whimpered. “I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I just missed you so much that I couldn’t help myself…” She took a moment to compose herself, wiping her eyes as she tried to steady her breathing.
I felt a weird feeling in my chest, but I shook it off and focused my attention on the mare in front of me. “So you just continued to stalk me this whole time?” I asked.
Surprisingly, she shook her head. “I knew that I couldn’t go on like this, because I was afraid you’d find out eventually, so I tried to find ways to cope without having to actually be with you, but the next day, I went to go see you one last time while you were out with Klaus, and that was the last time I saw you before tonight.”
I marinated on that last part for a minute. While at first I doubted that Nightmare hadn’t been following me since my lunch with Klaus, I had noticed that I hadn’t felt the cool breeze of her presence since then. Still, though, I knew that she was really clingy with me when we were together, so if what she said was true…
“What were you doing all this time?” I asked.
Nightmare’s eyes shifted away from me again as she looked to her left towards the pile of crumpled paper. “After I wrote that last letter to you, I felt a feeling of relief that I also felt when I wrote the first letter, so I decided to vent my feelings through writing. Whenever I felt really lonely, I’d just write a letter and throw it away afterwards instead of sending them to you.” She paused. “I didn’t think you’d want to be bothered with all those notes.”
I glanced at the discarded parchment and noticed how large the pile was. I couldn’t help but imagine myself receiving all those unsent notes in my mailbox, and I shook my head at the thought.
Nightmare closed her eyes, letting out a light sigh before turning her attention back to me. “At night, when I miss you the most,” she reached into the collar of her shirt, pulling out something that was hanging around her neck, “I put this necklace on before I go to sleep. It helps me adjust to not having you around.” She looked up at me with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. “You do remember it… right?”
I looked at the necklace more carefully, and I recognized it faster than I would’ve liked to admit. It was the necklace that I bought for Nightmare when I went clothes shopping with her and the others. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about it until just then.
“Since I’m back to the old routine of swiping from convenience stores, I was out getting something to eat for dinner when I saw Brickstone chasing after you,” she explained, “and I knew I couldn’t let him hurt you.” Her voice began to break a little, and I could see her eyes beginning to water. “I just wish I’d gotten to you sooner. I wanted to hurt him so badly, I felt such an urge to cause him so much pain, and I was more than able to, but… it just didn’t feel right with me. My magic was dangerous, and the last thing I needed was to put someone else in the hospital.”
She… she actually held herself back? She was right; she definitely could’ve done more than just scare Brickstone away. She was always protective of me (overwhelmingly so, in some cases), and if her magic was still increasing in power in the last two weeks, she probably could’ve blasted that creep away into nothing.
So why didn’t she?
“What held you back?” I asked her, wondering what could’ve stopped her from attacking Brickstone.
“The other day, before I sent you that last letter, I went to the hospital in my mist form to see Jade,” Nightmare told me. “I had been thinking about how angry you were, and at the time, I didn’t think that I had done that much damage to her, but when I found the room she was in, I saw a doctor and a nurse walking down the hall, and they were discussing her condition. When they mentioned how much damage had been done and how long the recovery would take, I didn’t believe it, but when I went into Jade’s room and saw the state that she was in… it forced me to understand how much damage I’d done, and I felt horrible.” She stopped to take another breath. “You were right, Noah. I haven’t changed. I’m still the same old Nightmare I was three years ago. I let my love for you justify all my actions, and I ended up pushing you away.”
I had to admit it. This was probably the most honest Nightmare’s ever been with me. As skeptical as I was at first, she sounded really sincere, and as much as I wanted to doubt her story, part of me somehow knew she was telling the truth.
Then I wondered: since she was being so open with me about how she felt, I could use this chance to ask her something that had been on my mind for a while.
“Why me?” I asked.
The alicorn blinked in brief confusion. “Huh?”
“I mean, why do you feel so strongly about me?” I clarified. “I mean, I know I’ve done a lot of nice things for you, but I never understood why you were so attached to me.”
“Why?” the mare said, a light blush appearing on her face as she looked down. “The things you’ve done for me mean a lot more than you know, Noah.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, while I was still getting to know you, Klaus, and Maud, there was always this fear at the back of my head,” she sighed. “What if you guys found out my secret? What if you found out that I was Nightmare Moon? This was the first time I’ve ever had real friends, and I didn’t want to lose them.” She then looked up at me. “I couldn’t keep the secret to myself forever, though. Not having someone to confide in was painful for me, and I still felt a sense of loneliness because of it. I wasn’t sure who to tell, at first, but then I figured that since you were the first friend I made, you’d be the best choice. When you said that you’d keep my secret safe, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, and I finally had someone that truly understood me, and then when you offered me a place to stay…” her lips slowly formed a small smile. “It was the nicest gesture I had ever been given.”
“So that’s when you started liking me?” I asked.
“Not yet,” she answered, “but I did start to see you as more than just a friend. I saw you as someone who’d… protect me.”
“Protect you?”
The alicorn nodded her head. “You gave me a place to call home, bought me clothes and food, made meals for me… it was like you were a guardian of sorts.”
I blushed lightly at the notion of being Nightmare’s guardian, and I had to clear my throat. “So, when did you start having feelings for me?” I asked.
“It was when we went to that house party and you defended me against Brickstone,” she answered. “My magic was still weak, so if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what he would’ve done to me. You didn’t let him intimidate or scare you. All you were concerned about was my well-being.”
I started to remember the night she mentioned, and my blood began to boil at the memory of Brickstone trying to have his way with Nightmare. Wait… why did I feel this way?
“And then the next day, when you took me to the street fair just so I could feel better, I started to like you even more. You went above and beyond to make me happy, something no one has ever done for me before.”
Wow… I never thought about all I had been doing for her since she first moved in with me. I began to wonder if I should really have blamed her for being so attached to me after all that.
“Above all else, though, there’s one thing that I like most about you.” Nightmare then paused for a moment before continuing. “All this time, even after we broke up, you never told anyone about my secret. You could’ve revealed my identity as Nightmare Moon out of spite, but you didn’t, despite how mad you were with me. You were the only one who knew who I really was, and for once in my life… I didn’t feel so alone in the world.”
Alone… that word made me remember something Maud told me.
“There was a hidden side of Nightshade that I saw even when we first met her almost four months ago. I saw that she was lonely.”
She was right. I hadn’t even given it much thought, but it was true. Nightmare was lonely, and for a brief moment, I understood the motivation behind her actions.
But…
“You still went too far,” I reminded her.
Nightmare nodded. “I know, and I realize that now, which is why I want to make it right.”
I scoffed at her nonchalant affirmation. “Unless you can fix Jade’s back, I don’t think you can.”
There was a long, silent pause, and the next thing I heard was something I definitely didn’t expect to hear.
“What if I told you I could?”
My eyes widened in shock as I looked at the mare in disbelief. “W-what…” I stammered, trying to grasp what she had asked me.
“In that voicemail I left for you, I said that there was something I wanted you to see, something that you wouldn’t believe,” she explained as she got up on her hooves. “Come with me. I’ll show you.”
I got up cautiously, not taking my eyes off of Nightmare for a moment. My better judgment told me not to follow her, but the possibility of Jade being healed was enough to convince me to ignore that better judgment.
The alicorn began to walk up the staircase to the second floor of the building, but I stopped at the foot of the steps.
“They won’t collapse, if that’s what you’re wondering,” she told me as she continued up the stairs.
I gulped and stepped lightly, hoping that what she said was true. Thankfully, I made it to the top of the staircase safely and continued to follow Nightmare into another room in the house. When I walked inside, the first thing I noticed was the near-broken work desk standing against the left wall, along with the book resting on top of it. I followed the alicorn towards the desk and noticed the title.
“Advanced Medical Spells?” I read out loud.
“I took it from the school library a week ago, and I’ve been practicing some of the spells in it,” she explained.
Wait… this was the book that Shortstuff was looking for!
“There’s one spell in particular that I’m trying to master,” Nightmare continued, “one that mends broken bones. After seeing Jade, I thought that there had to be something I could do to speed up her recovery, and when I found this book, I began practicing the spell on other ponies and people with less severe cases.”
“Austin…” I mumbled in realization.
“He was one of the many I’ve tried the spell on. I’ve almost perfected it, and once I do, I’ll be able to heal Jade.”
I stared at the book in awe, my speechlessness taking hold of me, but there was something I needed to know.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“Because I need to,” she answered. “I don’t just owe it to you. I owe it to her, too. She was an innocent mare. She doesn’t deserve what she’s going through.”
“And you’re not doing this just to get back together with me?”
The mare shook her head. “No. I’m trying not to be selfish and think of someone other than myself for a change.”
“Selfish?” I asked. In retrospect, I could see that, but I never thought of Nightmare as selfish. Needy, possessive, and crazy, yes, but not selfish.
“Of course,” she answered. “Deep down, I always had this fear that you would eventually not want to be with me anymore. While we were together, you didn’t really show me much affection, and I was afraid that I’d be alone again, so I used that as an excuse for how I acted. Everything I did was because I didn’t want to be all by myself, and I was so desperate to keep you close to me that I started to become hostile.”
Dammit… I actually felt sorry for her now. In the short time I’ve been here with Nightmare, I began to question my entire view of her. All this time I thought her clinginess was because she was just plain crazy, but to find out that it was because of her loneliness… Man, Maud really did have this mare figured out, and she didn’t even know who she really was. I also began to feel guilty, too. I kept saying that Nightmare was being indifferent towards my feelings, but it turns out that I was doing the same thing to her. I didn’t even bother to actually sit her down and talk to her, instead choosing to just avoid her entirely, ignoring her pain and concentrating on my anger.
“Are you okay, Noah?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No. I’m not,” I sighed. “I think this was partially my fault, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s something that I should’ve told you before we even started going out, Nightmare.”
Her eyes slowly widened when she heard that. “Huh?”
“When you first told me you loved me, I still wasn’t sure if I felt the same way, but I went along with it because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and you were right about me barely showing you any affection, at least not to the degree that you showed me. If I had been honest and just told you about how I felt from the get go, you wouldn’t have gotten so desperate for validation.”
“I will admit… it would’ve been nice to hear an ‘I love you’ every once in a while,” she commented, looking off to the side.
“Sorry about that, Moon,” I sighed embarrassedly.
She suddenly blinked and looked back at me, a gradual smile appearing on her face. “You called me Moon…” she told me happily.
“Oh… I guess I did,” I mumbled nervously, scratching my cheek. “So I guess we’re both to blame for the situation we’re in, huh?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Yeah. I guess we are,” Moon admitted. “I should’ve been more considerate of your space.”
“And I should’ve been more honest with you,” I added.
Suddenly, Moon started to walk towards me, and I immediately started to get nervous. “W-what are you doing?” I asked.
“Relax. I just need to touch your cheek,” she calmly explained.
“For wha-OW!” I flinched when her fingers stroked the bruise on the right side of my face.
“Sorry,” she said as she lit up her horn. “Just one moment…” In mere seconds, the pain I was feeling had vanished, and I rubbed my cheek in disbelief. “I’ve been studying other healing spells on the side.”
“Well… thanks.” I said.
“You’re welcome,” she said back. “Look, Noah. I know it may be a long time before you decide to take me back, but no matter how long it takes, I’m willing to wait. You’re worth it to me.”
I fidgeted a little and looked away. “Well, I’m not sure if I’m ready for us to be a couple again,” I told her.
Moon gave me an understanding nod, and I let out a sigh.
“But… I guess there’s no harm in going back to being friends,” I finished.
The first thing I heard was a gasp, and then I was promptly wrapped in a tight embrace from Moon. “Really? Oh, thank you, Noah!” she cheered, only to suddenly release me and put her hands behind her back. “Sorry…”
“It’s okay,” I chuckled, a smile finally forming on my face. “Let’s go home.”
“You mean…”
“Of course. Unless you want to stay in this decrepit place,” I joked.
The alicorn blushed as she lit up her horn to teleport us back to my apartment. In that short moment, I felt a sense of great relief. I had finally cleared the air with Moon, and once she masters her healing spell, Jade will finally be up around again.
I smiled to myself and thought: “Things are finally starting to look up.”
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It's almost over? ... I'm actually feeling slightly depressed now...
blogs.northampton.ac.uk/history/files/2014/03/a-team-t-shirt-hannibal-a-plan-comes-together.jpg
Hurray their friendship is safe I love happy logical endings
Yes! They're friends again!
...
Wait... It's almost over?!
Awwww.
Oh well, all good things come to an end eventually.
Glad to see that Moon and Noah are on amicable terms again.
YES! Finally, a conflict that's resolved by finally talking things out! There needs to be more stories like this I swear.
5123839 Have you even read my story? Shame on you go read my story called Mutual Interest if you want another story where peeps talk things out.
Good to see Moon understanding the consequences of her actions, and to see Noah being honest about his feelings.
Ah the conflict had been relives and this relationship is slowly healing back.
So much d'awww.
almost over.......sad face, still though great story. the way things are going i think there's going to be one more big conflict before they get back together...if they get back together
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/youhadmycuriosity.jpg
stay classy
Man I can't believe this. I thought there now way for me to forgive Moon for what she did, but the the way you wrote this chapter. May me feel kinda sorry for her, also Noah is also has to take some of the blame for Moon action. He should of been more honest to her. How did I forget about that.
Well anyway looking forward reading the final or so chapters.
I'm so happy their back as friend again and it going to be sad once at the end.
I always thought it was weird that Noah didn't think that he might have to explain to his girlfriend that he felt that they were being too clingy when that girlfriend was a being born out of loneliness.
I want twelve babies
I think this quote is rather quite fitting:
You know, this chapter is a good chapter.
I apologize for ever doubting you.
It's... A fatal flaw of mine
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The only author who writes Anthro I can stand.
5208144
Why, thank you. If I may ask, what makes my work different from other anthro writers?
https://youtu.be/E3AB62Eow4k