• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 1st, 2019

ValdimarGreen


A Swede wrestling with the English language.

T

To Octavia, espionage and sabotage are as easy as breathing. Assassination however is a pony of a different color, especially when the target is the newest alicorn princess, Twilight Sparkle.
Still, Blueblood is willing to risk it. Too much is at stake for him not to.


Authors note: This is my first story ever. It's really shitty.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 43 )

Lots and lots of missing quotations...

4358121
Thank you, I will get right on that.

If this story doesn't end will Octavia betraying and killing Blueblood like the diseased filth he is, I will be sorely dissapointed.

4358327
That comment just turned Blueblood into a major character rather than a minor one.
Hope you are happy. :raritywink:

4359227
I have my fingers crossed for an unlikely, weird, comical romantic attraction between Octavia and Blueblood, blossoming into a beautifully strange relationship.

Maybe have Celestia lessen their eventual punishment to house arrest. Together. In the same house.

Perhaps have her say something like "After all, you two really need to get a room."

This is an interesting situation, including him getting Rairty's name wrong.

I still don't believe Octavia is retarded enough to attempt an assassination on Twilight

4363790
What's really interesting is that he didn't have a problem remembering her name during the Gala.

He genuinely seems to believe his recollection of the event. This Blueblood isn't stupid, he's delusional. He needs help.

I figured he was, but I wasn't entirely sure if he was raised a certain way that may lend its hoof to those thoughts. It also doesn't explain the butler, you'd think that the butler would have told someone about operation daybreak because other wise he could be seen as an associate to the crime.

4364191
I concur.
She could've taken the job to warn Twilight about Blueblood's scheming.

4364191
4365236
I think you both will enjoy chapter 3.

4364895
You are being too observant for your own good.

Make Blueblood change his mind somehow? Probably be easier to convince him to marry an earth-pony and take up farming.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/7/35774__safe_applejack_shipping_straight_prince+blueblood_romantic_artist-colon-noideasfornicknames_bluejack.jpg

Do it, filly.

6 Million?
I guess Ted DiBiase, Sr. was right. Everybody has a price.
Octavia's gotten herself into quite the mess, it seems.

...
....
.....
Blueblood is starting to sound like the subject of Rev Theory's Voices.

So Blueblood is at least partially schizfrenic (sp). Very interesting, but would Celestia pick up on it? Is there a history of mental health issues in Bluebloods family tree?

4377515
A history of mental health issues in his family tree, you say? Of course not!

What a preposterous notion! The Royal Family of Equestria has always been wonderful at dealing with frustration...

4378074
4377515
4372753
I once saw a documentary about "Capgras syndrome", creepiest shit I have ever seen. It has great story potential however... I just need to learn to convey it right, with my own personal flare.

If I could make a suggestion could you give some of the voices in Blueblood's head names? Some times they have names other times they are just voices but if we are going to be in Blueblood's head it might make it easier for the reader.

4378927
Thank you, I will keep it mind.

Really Shack? You just now figured out Blueblood had a few screws loose and not when he ordered Princess Twilight Bucking Sparkle's assassination?!

4384744
There is none so blind as he who will not see.

Well perhaps now the butler can alert the right people. Now he might get in trouble for being part of the plot to kill Twilight, but I'm sure Celestia would forgive him.

this reminds me of a fanfic where poor twilight was murdered..............
celestia quicly found out and burned them all at the stake, stuck between incomprenesible rage and hate and being totally emotionally broken the entire time.

Does Twilight actually die at the end? I wanna see her due.

Well lets hope Octavia gets there in time, but shouldn't the butler inform the royal guard instead?:rainbowhuh:

4405383
Sometimes we get what we want, sometimes we don't. :raritywink:

O.O I was totally not expecting that.:pinkiegasp:

Well...that was a shitty ending.

Sorry but that's my opinion.

You could have gone a much more fun route instead of screwing with Twilight's character to the point where she's no longer Twilight and basically ruining this story for me. If you had kept with the original idea that he was crazy and things just kept puttin him and Octy farther and farther into a crappy mess I would have been enthralled to keep reading and see how they'd get out.

This just feels like a cop out to end a story someone didn't like.

So...yeah. That's the reason for my downvote. Have a good day.

4445081
Fallout it is then.
I won't deny that Star Wars would be cool, however, I am not confident enough in the lore to just sit down and write in that setting.


4445184
4446020
Every story needs a twist... its amazing what you can do with a crowbar and a little willpower. :raritywink:

4446634
Sorry that you feel that way. But thanks for commenting anyway, Ill keep it in mind for the future.

That twist! Totally out of character for Twilight and completely unexpected, and I love it. I'm Blueblood-biased though. An arrogant jerk who wants to do good, he's just mostly clueless. Except here, where he's completely right! Awesome.

I have got to admit, i didn't expect the ending. Might want to add the AU tag, though.

4449455 uh I totally vote Star Wars :pinkiegasp: and that plot twist though :moustache:

4365125

Oftentimes butlering is a family job. If Shacks was born into the service of Blueblood's family, he may have been raised to believe the same delusions as his employer. Lifelong servants to a family are normally very loyal as well, turning Blueblood in for his scheme may not even occur to him, especially if he shares his point of view.

Huh. I have to say, even though you smacked me in the face with not-so-subtle foreshadowing til my nose was bloody, I didn't see that ending coming... :facehoof:

4446634 I can see this happening someone young going mad with power

Really good story, I enjoyed it.

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