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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)


One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours.

Proofread by:

Neko Majin C

Featured on EQD!

Polish translation made by Dolar84

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 267 )

blocking first commenter:ajsmug:

Guil #3 · May 2nd, 2014 · · ·

Anticlimactic? Yes. Humorous nonetheless? Absolutely.

While I agree with the man below me, the part with Granny Smith made it all he better. Good job! :ajsmug:

1. This was funny as all hell and I enjoyed it. I love death humor

2. Man that was an anti-climatic ending. I was hoping or more funny stuff at her funeral. Seriously, if you make a sequel or a second chapter you have to cover that, the jokes you could do.

3. Again, funny

Well um, yes. I like it. Celestia doesn't understand, nor really care, about death. Have a like.

Anticlimactic, indeed.

Now I'm imagining Celestia just casually mentioning it to Twilight, followed by a legendary freak-out. :trollestia:

Man, I'm not sure why, but that was a boring read. Don't misunderstand, though. Boring, but funny. Just a uninteresting topic, I guess.

That or Celestia inviting Twilight to her funeral and Celestia's acting calm while Twilight is either crying or going crazy as the procession goes on.

Deadly humour? I must read this!

I love their characters here so much. You did an amazing Celestia and Luna.

what part of immortal do you not understand?

Just kiddin, was a good read :)

That was very Monty Python-esque.

Just give them British accents and you have yourself a skit.

My butt is not getting featured.

Fuckin' hilarious!

Funny story

“So this is called Death Mountain now, huh?”
“Well, yes. You know, names change over time. I remember that, for a while, this was named la Montaña de los Muertos, and nopony really knew why.”

This joke is amazing. Like, it made me laugh for a good few minutes. Well done.

So yeah, the nation is now being led by a zombie. Well, co-led, anyway. :rainbowderp:

This has got to be one of the most asinine, preposterous, idiotic, and tasteless stories that I have EVER read...

You, sir/madam, are a GENIUS :pinkiehappy:

And nothing of value was learned :twilightsmile:

......That was quite possibly one of the greatest comedy oneshots ever written. 1.bp.blogspot.com/-wGd2NtdnflY/UQ5C3j9bXOI/AAAAAAAAI9U/ErAkjFd5KBY/s1600/citizen-kane-clapping.jpg I applaud you.

Alicorn... lich?


Oh celestia you silly filly! You didn't die! Its just your grey belly button thingie dying! :pinkiehappy: (And multiplying :pinkiecrazy:)

That. Was. Brilliant.

Whoever said Immortals had to die like Mortals?

...The nonchalance, the theatrical actions... the chamomile-lava-tea!

10/10, Would Read Again

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

Celestia died and nopony cares. Probably because her death didn't affect her at all. And they won't know she died unless they ask her or Luna. Or they check for a heartbeat, which I doubt will ever happen.

Well, that isn't something that I would expect.
I mean, who'd a thunk chamomile tea tastes like lava?:rainbowwild:

Oh Tia...You and Lulu really just don't get death, do you?:twilightsmile:

Reading this again. Damnit I wish I had more!:raritycry::rainbowwild:

This reminds me of Death Becomes Her.


You want a perfect example of genius comedy noir? That's it, right there. *sighs* Back when Hollywood still had some creative flair left in it.

Now all we get for comedy is crap like Adam Sandler movies, "Madea" and "Haunted House 2". :facehoof:

>>>that weird gray thingy that grows on one’s belly button and it’s still there no matter how many times you scratch it away.>>>

Celestia, that's a tumor. :twilightoops:


>>> Our shibboleth.>>>

They used that weight loss program?

http://www.myshibboleth.com/ :rainbowlaugh:

Well, I guess with all the cake Celestia eats...

>>>“Wow. The nerve,” Luna said, whistling softly once the mare turned around once again. “To think that she called us ‘younglings’. Last time I was a youngling,...">>>

"... that jerk Anakin Skywalker charged into the Temple and stabbed us all with Lightsabers!"

Heh, younglings. What a horrible term.


That was a great idea for a short story, and the idea that Luna and Celestia know so little about death led to some great jokes. Furthermore, the build-up was very good...but I'm afraid that the ending was indeed anticlimactic. Perhaps it would work better if they found themselves as ghosts/spirits and continued to go about their daily lives, but as incorpreal spirits. It would be even better if they could actually be seen, so they become ghost princesses.

Still, a great idea, and the humor was very amusing, while also sucking in the reader in wanting to know what happens.

>>>“La Montanya de… what?” Luna turned around and raised an eyebrow at her sister. “What is that language? I don’t recall hearing it before.”

“It’s… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I doubt anypony in Equestria speaks that,” Celestia explained>>>

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Oh god, my sides! I hath observed that which thou hast there done!

>>>Celestia licked her lips. “Do you ever wonder why? Nothing existed, literally. Yet we were there. Sometimes I think about it. It’s strange.”>>>

Authors work in mysterious ways... :raritywink:

>>>Just like that, really. Celestia felt it in her stomach—that particular pain, that sense of dread, that tickleness near her belly button. Only this time, it was stronger.>>>

I get that too. It usually means I'm gonna fart alot in about half an hour. :rainbowlaugh:


2nd chapter celesta is unconscious
guard checks for a hart beat
and panics

4330404 I always thought it tasted like rust and rotten eggs, myself. :pinkiesick:

If Celestia is dead, I claim myself as princess than. Bow down.:flutterrage:

you have the most insensitive sense of humor ever.

I love it.

Death and taxes... Maybe they're more similar than we ever thought?

4329654 Hahaaaa, that's exactly what I was thinking about when I saw the title of this story!

New healthcare bill, now everyone has to have yearly checkup, including Celestia.

Huh, I didn't expect that.

Also, Celery looks happy in the picture... crazily happy. A little off putting if you ask me.

Lyre #48 · May 3rd, 2014 · · ·

Also, who checked their belly button at the start of this story?

Always look on the bright side of life.

This is ridiculous. :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

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