• Member Since 6th Mar, 2013
  • online

steel soul

Gonna work on that Kingdom Hearts fic at some point


It had started as any other day for the mistress of fashion, that is until a young colt appears within her house; battered, bruised, and barely alive. It was her act of generosity that lends her to help him.

It is also this same act that lead to her and her friends getting sweeped up in a century old war.

Chapters (6)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 73 )

being a fan of Wakfu I look forward to seeing this continue if it turns out as well as your kingdom hearts story

4507154 We're two.
Seriously, why there aren't more Wakfu crossovers here? It's awesome! I'm starting to think that people just don't know it exists!
Or they do but only watched the first three-four episodes, that kind of sucked.

You nailed it.:coolphoto:

We shall be awaiting more of this story. Beside the mistakes I've found in the story, It's absolutely amazing.

As I said before, I shall be awaiting more...

Update! Please go on with this story! You have all my support!

Pinkie Pie, you so random. :pinkiehappy:

Hmm... again two things I like put together. Wakfu and MLP. AWESOME!

Completely forgot that Wakfu is in french. You handled the transition perfectly. Can't wait to see where this goes~:yay:

Pinkie put her full weight on his lap? That doesnt sound comfortable for someone of his size.

god DAMN it pinkie pie

Does Yugo still have his...ahem. Eliotrope specific physical characteristics?


*hugs the author*

Been waiting for a new chapter....

Interesting chapter. I'm glad to see this story is back. Celestia's reaction to drinking tea had me laughing.

Interesting chapter. I'm glad to see this story is back. Celestia's reaction to drinking tea had me laughing.

Interesting chapter. I'm glad to see this story is back. Celestia's reaction to drinking tea had me laughing.

5244037 Couldn't agree more. I hope we doesn't have wait again so long for a new chapter^^

"So...It has begun. The Wakfu have returned...and along with it, their destruction."

Wakfu's a form of life energy, mate. The counterpart to Stasis. Yugo's an Eliatrope. Is that what you mean? Or do you mean that Wakfu as a force is what's returning?

I'm confused.

Did...you just try to use a temporary image board to post a pic?

Stick an idiot in front of a computer, and no matter how well it works, he's gonna claim it's broken. Some people just look at something, and can't accept that they don't understand it. I can easily see that happening with a couple of self proclaimed immortals.

(PS I'm not insulting you, the first part was just a generic example...)

So which limb is he missing? Because I don't think horses can walk with three legs.

Well, it works. Plusfour keeps them indefinitely. I imagine the actual /co/ thread got pruned a long time ago.

Hmm...think I messed up somewhere

It has a prosthetic. Unless he has the Cube stuck up his ass, he's not going to be walking places.

Or maybe Eliatropes are pegasi in Equestria. Hell if I know.


Oh yeah! I remember now...Qilby

man there needs to be more crossovers between these two shows the only ones I know of are this one and mine on wattpad http://www.wattpad.com/story/34449874-guys-why-are-you-ponys

umm.... i think someone stole this.... and a few other stories i think...

Heh...thats my account on fan fiction...

its quite alright. Thank you so much for the concern

I like the beginning very well thought out well done on your part i can't wait to read on further :heart: bravo, onward.

Wonderful:raritystarry: I'm loving how this story is coming out well done bravo, onward.

Wow now things are getting interesting well done bravo, onward.

I will wait for the next chapter well done bravo.

OH MY GOD SOMEONE DID WAKFU!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?:pinkiegasp: Insta fav my friend:pinkiehappy::yay::yay:

Clicked on this story simply to link you. Then I glimpsed the author... oops.:twilightblush:

6263225 I meant I saw this story and remembered you liked Wakfu. Thought you might like it. Then I saw you were the one who wrote it.:twilightblush:

I really like what you made here, I will try and wait calmly:pinkiecrazy: for you to continue the story. When I say I like the story I mean I love it.:pinkiehappy:

The story continues.

Awwww yeah! So many fanfics I like, all updating almost at once! :D

...on a different note, do you mind if I make some... little editing suggestions for this chapter? Nothing major, the chapter was quite enjoyable as it is, and also funny, so if you say no it's okay, but there were some small things of format that were a bit distracting while reading.

Can't wait for the next one!

6516288 KO cool this story stills continues hope to see some action and Yugo friends make an appearance. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Oook, let's start with the description of the story itself.

when a mesterious pony appears in Rarity's shop, she and the others are thrown into an century old war.

You showed a good grasp of format and spelling through the story so far, so I guess those were just distraction errors or so, but for completeness' sake...
when, first word, needs capital W.
mesterious is quite a mysterious word... never heard of it before.
The an of "an century old" should be just "a". The "n" is added only if the following word starts with a vocal.


Yugo, Rarity can see you! You need a curtain to hide behind, with the "a"!

an important pony is agreeing to help him with gaining his memories,

First, notice the "an". That's a good "an", which validates my point of the error in the description being a distraction.
Next... well, there are a few points here and there in the story where I would have already put corrections about replacing words with others that have a more pertinent meaning to the context, but those are more of personal fixations of mine. Here, however, the whole sentence just sounds weird, and not in a good way. First, if I remember well, Rarity had offered to help, not agreed to some sort of contract or so or had to be convinced. Then , "If" introduces a two-part-sentence, condition and consequence, both of which require the right verb, and the "-ing" forms do not qualify as such (I'm a bit rusty in theoretical grammar, so I don't really remember the names of the forms of the various verbs, sorry). Last, Yugo has lost his memories, and he is trying to get them back. "Earning" is a verb used to mean when you acquire something new after you show to deserve it. To make the least possible changes to the whole sentence structure overall, I would rewrite this as:
"an important pony had offered to help him get back his memories"

his fur matted with the now rapidly cooling water that hugged the frame his body.

I think I see a little vocabulary problem here... which is something I can't blame you for. I too almost never know the perfect word to use in relation of a certain object and situation, but here I can help.
"matted" is used to say that something is covering something else in patches, or small pieces. Considered that he just got out of the tub, is likely that his fur is FULL of water, and the right word is "soaked. If you throw your pillow in a pool, it gets soaked, and you don't need to specify by what because "soak" is a verb inherently related to water to begin with. You would have to specify if it was soaked by anything that was not-water.
"the now rapidly cooling water that hugged the frame his body.". That second part... I'm not sure what you mean by it. I mean, sure, I get the idea that Yugo is wet all over, but do you really need to say it like that? "Hug" is used with affective meaning, as in two persons/pony/whatever hugging, not by water.
rephrase from the beginning: He stepped out of the bathtub, water dripping in rivolets from his soaked fur. He shivered in contact with the cool air, but before the cold could settle in a warm cloth wrapped itself around him etc etc.
Or something like that.

gently rubbing her muzzle on top of the colts head

"gently rubbing her muzzle". There is a single, simple word/verb for that, nuzzle.
Also, it should be "the top of the colt's head".

I ned to go now, sorry. This is just a part of the whole editing... some errors seem just little distractions you could avoid by simply re-reading it after you finish writing. Or even better, some hours after you finish writing, so you have a "cool" head.
All those small errors can... kind of ruin a reader experience, but hey, this is fanfiction, no angry publisher will come at your door if you mess up somewhere. We write and read for fun.
If you want to get better, you can search for some editors group right here in Fimfic or some betareaders. If you want I can give your chapters a quick overlook in Google Doc (it's easier to correct/edit there) before you publish them, or you can ask one of your friends to do it.

If you want for me to finish edit the chap, I'll need a couple day or so... I'm a teensy busy this week-start.

Let me know!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!