• Published 6th Jun 2014
  • 2,626 Views, 73 Comments

Wakfu: A Pony's Tale - steel soul



When a mysterious pony appears in Rarity's shop, she and the others are thrown into a century old war.

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4
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 2,626

Chatper Six

Yugo's head broke the surface of the water, the colt spitting a trail of hot water out of his mouth as he did so. He sighed contently as he settled back into the tub, the heat of the water soothing his aches and pains away. Reaching out, he picked up a hoof full of bubbles before blowing them away, and causing them to float back onto the surface of the tub's pool. He gave a giggle of content pleasure before slowly sinking himself into the water, leaving only the tip of his muzzle and his eyes above the surface.

"Yugo, dear?" Called a feminine voice from behind the bathtub's curtin, the form of Rarity coming into view. "Are you doing ok? Can I come in? I have your towel. The colt lifted himself a bit out the water so that he could tell her to enter before pushing himself back in at eye level just as she entered the room. Rarity entered into the bathroom, her horn wrapped in a blue glow. The same glow covered a towel just to the side of her. Upon seeing the colt just gaze at her from his position, she couldn't help but cover a giggle.

Composing herself, Rarity gave the colt a gentle smile. "I know you're enjoying yourself, but you have to get out now. One must not keep royalty waiting, and I must make sure I make myself proper for the meeting as well."

Yugo gave a pout before sighing dejectedly. Sure he would have loved to stay wrapped within the comfort of the hot water that embraced him, but if such an important pony is agreeing to help him with gaining his memories, then a sacrifice or two had to be made.

The rust colored colt slipped out of the tub, his fur matted with the now rapidly cooling water that hugged the frame his body. Before he could stay like that any longer though, the warm embrace of a hot cloth would soon wrap itself around him, feeling it's soft fabric rub his fur dry; Much to his embarrassment.

"I-I can handle it myself Miss Rarity." He squeaked as he felt the soft towel rub the water out of his mane.

Rarity smiled before gently rubbing her muzzle on top of the colts head. "I am sorry Yugo, but I must make sure you make a good impression with Princess Celestia." She purred as she wiggled a bit of the cloth into his ear, much to his dismay. "Its bad enough that you insist on wearing those old clothes of yours, even if I did fix it up for you." The white unicorn stopped drying the colt off to look at him. "Are you sure you don't want me to fix you something better to wear? I have a few Ideals that wouldn't take me too long to get together."

"Well..." Yugo looked at her as he pulled the towel closer to his body. "After everything I done to your shop before, I wouldn't feel right about you making anything for me for free..."

Rarity's ears folded back at his words, the magical grip on the towel faltering slightly. "Oh...Yugo, you know I don't blame you in the least for any of what happened."

"Still...I don't want to take advantage of you." He said with a shake of his head

Rarity shook her head in response. "You're not doing that at all Yugo." She said softly. "I'm happy to take care of you."

Yugo looked down, his ears folding back against his head as he did so. "Still..."

"Still nothing young foal." Rarity said sternly, the kid rearing back a bit. She soon placed a hoof on top of his head, making him blush slightly. "One so young should be focusing on playing and running around with other ponies your age." She lifted his chin with his hoof, his blush expanding as he looked deep into her ocean blue eyes. "Do you understand?"

Yugo nodded, only slightly restricted by his hoof. "I still want to wear my old clothes though."

"If you must. My offer still stands however," Rarity mused with a smile. "Now go ahead and get dressed. Your clothes are on the bed you slept in last night."

~

It didn't take Yugo long to find the room, the colt having remember the way from last night easily enough. He gently pushed the door open, his gaze casually looking over the decor of the room, it being dark when he had first walked into the room last night. For what's it worth, he knew that he was in a girly room. From the furnishings to the walls, everything seemed scream this is a female's room.

Yugo made his way to the bed, finding upon it his clothes folded up next to his hat. He gently ran a hoof over his headgear, a feeling of familiarity radiating within him. He couldn't help but look into the nearby mirror carefully running a hoof over the top of his dark orange mane, feeling like something was missing, but not quite sure what it was.

Yugo shook his head before placing the hoof back onto bed, reaching for his bright yellow shirt and...

Yugo stopped as he pulled his hoof back, feeling his ears spray to the back of his head. He gave his hoof a careful look over before casting his gaze back to the shirt that still rested upon the bed. He reached out again, placing a hoof upon his shirt and then lifting it back up, coming back empty hooved. The rust colored colt frowned.

"Um..."

It was something that he never really had to think about. Every time he had to eat or drink he did so with little effort, the latter having to deal with a straw and the former he made due with eating straight from the plate, much to a few ponies annoyances. As for using the bathroom, that was never really an issue due to the way the toilets were made, so up until now, he never really used his hooves for anything other than walking or pushing.

Yugo placed a hoof back on to the shirt, managing to drag it a bit but doing nothing else. Seeing that dragging was better than nothing, he began a painstakingly slow process of half rolling, half dragging his shirt across the bed until it flopped onto the floor into a heap. With a roll of his eyes he bent his head down until it had slipped into an opening. Using that as leverage, he slowly began to wiggle his muzzing further and further into the shirt, slipping more and more of his head into the large opening. He gave a smile of triumph as he pushed both of his forelegs in after the head, hoping to slip the shirt on with one go.

Such an action proved to be a mistake however, the colt only realizing that information after he slipped a hoof through the wrong opening. Yugo blinked once before trying to correct his mistake. He, however, found that trying to do so caused the shirt to curl tighter around him, firmly locking him in a tight embrace.

"Um..." He squeaked as he shifted a bit. "Rarity? Anybody? Help?"

Yugo struggled more and more with the now mocking yellow shirt, trying to free himself but only becoming tighter encased. He gave a soft sigh.

Least it can't get any worse...

The sound of something bedroom door opening caused the young colt's ears to perk and his body to stiffen.

"I can hear the bathroom water running." Said a rather girlish but squeaky voice. "Guess we...got...to...?"

There was a linger in the speaker's voice, the tone slowly trailing off before stopping completely. Yugo idly wondered exactly who was at the door behind him.

The trapped colt paused as a thought crossed his mind, several actually.

First; He was within the confines of a girls room, one he believed, more than likely belonging to the one who had just entered.

Second; He was within said girls room, half dressed, with his rear end stuck up in the air for all to see.

Third and just as important; His tail end was caching towards the now occupied doorway.

Yugo wasn't at all surprised when a famine scream filled the entirety of the room.

"Pervert!"

Now, Yugo may have lost most of his memories, and his mind could still use a little tuning up, but he knew enough to both know the meaning and not like the sound of that word one bit.

Flicking his ears in the direction of the voice, despite them being covered with the cloth, he could distinctly hear the sound of rapid hoofsteps approaching him, accompanied by a young yet gruff voice saying. “Go get Rarity! I’ll keep him here!”

You didn’t have to be someone smart to know that approaching hooves, plus compromising position, equals pain aplenty. The little colt quickly shifted with surprising maneuverability, raising to his still free hind hooves with little effort and jumped for all his worth. With what Yugo could only assume was an amazing amount of luck and skill, both he never knew he had much of ever since he work up, the little colt kicked off the ground, jumping high into the air with surprising ease. He could feel something just barely brush past his left hoof as whoever it was passed under him, a confused voice saying “Huh?” sounding soon after.

Yugo landed back upon the ground, a painful hiss escaping his mouth as he landed hard on his back. Not too soon after a resounding thud filled his ears as if something had thought that crashing head first into a wall was the best way a makeshift opening within it.

Yugo lay dazed upon the ground as his attacker, a few feet away from him, did the same, moaning in blissful pain. Before Yugo could regain his bearings, the sound of hoof steps came down the hall once again before the telltale sound of a door slamming upon herald the arrival of a familiar older mare’s voice and the return of the squeaky filly voice.

“See!? That's...Uh...He...Uh…”

“Oh...Dear…”

~~~

“He’s over here Rarity! I bet Button gave that pervert of a colt a good pounding!” Sweetie Belle said, with a bit too much pride for Rarity’s liking as she pulled the still drenched older mare with her down the hall towards her bedroom.

“Sweetie! Please! i just got my hooves done!” Rarity complained. “What is it that you are talking about Sweetie?! What pervert?”

“In my room!” Sweetie said as she released her sister, dashing the rest of the way to the door. The little filly kicked open her door with enough force to slam it open. “See! That's...Uh...He...Uh…”

The little filly trailed off as both Rarity and herself looked through the portal that lead into her little sister’s room. Upon the floor,m in the middle of the room, sat a half dressed colt of a pony, his hind legs dangling above him as his back rested at an odd angle upon the ground. On the far side of the wall was another rust colored colt, his propeller cap slightly askew upon his head as his cheek practically hugged the wall in the most uncomfortable of positions, tears forming in the already dazed look in his eyes.

Rarity blinked as she looked upon the scene before her, all but two words having left her very being. “Oh...Dear…”

~~~

Rarity sighed as she looked between the two colts, both boys nursing their wounds with a small bag of ice each. Button Mash, the colt with the rainbow propeller hat, held his ice pack to the sizeable lump that seemed to want to grow out the side of his head, a glare shot towards the now fully dressed Yugo.

Yugo didn’t come unscathed after their little meeting, the colt holding an icepack to the back of his sore neck.

“I’m so sorry Yugo!” Sweetie Belle reiterated for the tenth time in the span of five minutes. She had been apologizing quite a bit after Rarity explained who the colt was and why he was in her room. “If I had known you were the same colt that Rarity and I found that night I...I mean…” The filly trailed off looking away.

Yugo waved a dismissive hoof for what seemed like the 100th time at her apology. “D-Don’t worry about it Miss Belle.” The rust colored colt gave Button Mash a smile. “No real harm done, right?”

“Whatever…” Button near spat as he looked away, his tone not kind in the least.

Yugo shrunk back a bit, his nose scrunching and his ear folding back at Button’s sharp reply. For some reason, he was getting the impression that he wasn’t well liked by the colt.

Rarity sighed softly as he looked towards Yugo. “Well with you two taken care of now I think it's time I had a few Questions answered.” The still drying mare faced her little sister with a questioning gaze. “Not that I’m not happy to see you little sister, but what are you doing here. You were supposed to stay with mother and father until repairs were complete.”

“Oh!” The little white filly pulled the saddle bags she had been carrying close to her, undoing the strap that held all her things in place. Reaching inside, the little filly pulled out a folded piece of paper and hoofed it over to Rarity. “Mom and dad told me to give you this when I got to Ponyville.” Sweetie squeaked.

“From mother and father?” Rarity asked as she allowed her magic to grip the piece of paper, folding it open as she did so.’

Her eyes quickly scanned over each line of the paper twice before she heaved a rather unlady like sigh of annoyance. “They can’t be serious.”

“It’s true.” Sweetie said with a sollen nod. “Dad’s team has an unscheduled out of town game coming in the next few weeks. He and mom have no choice but to go.”

“And Applejack okayed you staying over at her place?” Rarity continued to question.

“Yep!” Sweetie cheered. “Since school well be starting next week, mom says it’s best that I stay here and Applejack agreed to look after me.” The filly said with a smile. “It’ll be like a sleepover for me and Applebloom. Applejack even said that we can invite Scootaloo if we wanted and have a Cutie Mark Crusader Sleepover! YAY!”

To say that that Yugo felt his ears drums had busted as quite the understatement. The shrill voice that Sweetie released was anything but calm and soothing for the ears if he had anything to say about it. He could see, by the reactions of Sweetie’s sister and the colt Button Mash that they, while more than likely more use to it, felt the effects all the same.

Rarity was the first to recover, ringing a hoof around her ear as though that would cure her sudden lost of hearing. “Yes...Well...Now I know. Thank you for coming and telling me Sweetie. Well with that matter out of the way I believe I need to finish getting ready.” The alabaster mare looked to the clock, releasing a small tsk of annoyance. “But Twilight is expecting Yugo at the library any minute and I can’t possibly go out into public looking like this.” She paused before looking towards her little sister, a smile slipping onto her muzzle. “Oh Sweetie~”

Sweetie epped as she was called, the little filly looking towards her sister with a tilted head. “Ah...Yeah Rarity?”

“I would forever be in you debt if you helped me out today and guide this little colt here,” The older mare gestured to Yugo. “To the library for me.”

Sweetie Belle tapped a hoof to her chin as she thought. “How much in your debt?”

Rarity sighed as she looked away. “One round of ice cream for you and your friends.”

“Three rounds of ice cream.” Sweetie said as she folded her hooves about her chest.
“Two rounds and I will forget about you bringing a boy home without my knowledge.”

Sweetie blushed slightly before looking away. “Deal.”

Both sisters shook on agreement, satisfied with with the negotiations. Looking over to the two colts she smiled brightly. “Well? Let's get going you two!”

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Comments ( 23 )

The story continues.

Awwww yeah! So many fanfics I like, all updating almost at once! :D

...on a different note, do you mind if I make some... little editing suggestions for this chapter? Nothing major, the chapter was quite enjoyable as it is, and also funny, so if you say no it's okay, but there were some small things of format that were a bit distracting while reading.

Can't wait for the next one!

6516288 KO cool this story stills continues hope to see some action and Yugo friends make an appearance. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

6516492
I don't mind at all

6516738
Oook, let's start with the description of the story itself.

when a mesterious pony appears in Rarity's shop, she and the others are thrown into an century old war.

You showed a good grasp of format and spelling through the story so far, so I guess those were just distraction errors or so, but for completeness' sake...
when, first word, needs capital W.
mesterious is quite a mysterious word... never heard of it before.
The an of "an century old" should be just "a". The "n" is added only if the following word starts with a vocal.

curtin

Yugo, Rarity can see you! You need a curtain to hide behind, with the "a"!

an important pony is agreeing to help him with gaining his memories,

First, notice the "an". That's a good "an", which validates my point of the error in the description being a distraction.
Next... well, there are a few points here and there in the story where I would have already put corrections about replacing words with others that have a more pertinent meaning to the context, but those are more of personal fixations of mine. Here, however, the whole sentence just sounds weird, and not in a good way. First, if I remember well, Rarity had offered to help, not agreed to some sort of contract or so or had to be convinced. Then , "If" introduces a two-part-sentence, condition and consequence, both of which require the right verb, and the "-ing" forms do not qualify as such (I'm a bit rusty in theoretical grammar, so I don't really remember the names of the forms of the various verbs, sorry). Last, Yugo has lost his memories, and he is trying to get them back. "Earning" is a verb used to mean when you acquire something new after you show to deserve it. To make the least possible changes to the whole sentence structure overall, I would rewrite this as:
"an important pony had offered to help him get back his memories"

his fur matted with the now rapidly cooling water that hugged the frame his body.

I think I see a little vocabulary problem here... which is something I can't blame you for. I too almost never know the perfect word to use in relation of a certain object and situation, but here I can help.
"matted" is used to say that something is covering something else in patches, or small pieces. Considered that he just got out of the tub, is likely that his fur is FULL of water, and the right word is "soaked. If you throw your pillow in a pool, it gets soaked, and you don't need to specify by what because "soak" is a verb inherently related to water to begin with. You would have to specify if it was soaked by anything that was not-water.
"the now rapidly cooling water that hugged the frame his body.". That second part... I'm not sure what you mean by it. I mean, sure, I get the idea that Yugo is wet all over, but do you really need to say it like that? "Hug" is used with affective meaning, as in two persons/pony/whatever hugging, not by water.
rephrase from the beginning: He stepped out of the bathtub, water dripping in rivolets from his soaked fur. He shivered in contact with the cool air, but before the cold could settle in a warm cloth wrapped itself around him etc etc.
Or something like that.

gently rubbing her muzzle on top of the colts head

"gently rubbing her muzzle". There is a single, simple word/verb for that, nuzzle.
Also, it should be "the top of the colt's head".


I ned to go now, sorry. This is just a part of the whole editing... some errors seem just little distractions you could avoid by simply re-reading it after you finish writing. Or even better, some hours after you finish writing, so you have a "cool" head.
All those small errors can... kind of ruin a reader experience, but hey, this is fanfiction, no angry publisher will come at your door if you mess up somewhere. We write and read for fun.
If you want to get better, you can search for some editors group right here in Fimfic or some betareaders. If you want I can give your chapters a quick overlook in Google Doc (it's easier to correct/edit there) before you publish them, or you can ask one of your friends to do it.

If you want for me to finish edit the chap, I'll need a couple day or so... I'm a teensy busy this week-start.

Let me know!

6518294
I can give you a Google docs of it. You can use the editing feature

6524136
You are the author and the owner of the story, you decide if you want me tampering with it.
Remember, my purpose here is not sheer editing and rewriting (except maybe mispelled words and the such) but rather pointing out errors and ways to make the reading flow better... trying to show you what you got wrong so you can get better at writing.

6524336
Well...if you want to edit I don't mind...still thanks for the help either way

6524359
Sorry for late reply, buuuusy day. Tomorrow will be the same.
If you are convinced and want me to make some editing, put a link in a PM, I'll get to it, if not tomorrow (busy) then friday or saturday at the latest.

Ok good chapter loved it can't wait for more.

6524359 KO please say that the next chapter is coming soon for more Wakfu action. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::rainbowdetermined2:

Wait, there's something missing here...

Done

Sooooo..... Is this going to update any time soon?

*Sees Wakfu crossover fic*

Ggvfgcjhghfvygfbtbtvgvygb YES!!! vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/6/69/First_Pinkie_Pie_smile_S1E23.png/revision/latest?cb=20111009164913

(Couldn't get the season one intro [let alone the English dub {yes, that does exist <on NETFLIX, that is>}])

JE NE REGARDE PAS LE MALADROIT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great story but why wouldn't Rarity understand French?

7894131
She trained herself to speek like an elite. Have to remember the family she came from

7895009 Yeah but given how long she's been interested in/worked in fashion and had to interact high fashion icon and not learned other languages would be like someone lining in another country for at least a year and never learning the native language.

Plus given the type of personality she has would indicate that she probably didn't spend much time with her parents and considering she's had that accent since she was a kid it wouldn't make sense for her to focus on fashion without learning other languages. Kinda like how in some stories they have her asking Twilight (pre-alicorn) for fashion magazines. I'd more than be willing to bet that she's been checking things like that since she was a kid.

Steel when will you be able to do a update? I like this and been waiting soo long. :fluttercry::applecry:

With season 3 Wakfu just beginning of airing I had an epiphany. Is there any crossover fic ? Turn out there is only several. Too bad...
But this one is quite nice.

8415899
Heh. It sure is a crossover fic.

Were you planning for the rest of the Brotherhood of Tofu to appear in this fanfic, and if yes, where there going to be any Yumalia moments

Also, can I make my own remake of this fanfic, one that doesn't end abruptly.

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