"You know," I stated, my mouth being one of the few parts of me free to move, "I get the distinct impression you're holding a grudge against me."
I'd lost count somewhere around the tenth form of medical monitoring device that Twilight had attached to my new body. What few actual doctors were present in the building had either aided her, or fled when they saw the look on her face.
Gods, I wish I could've. It all but screamed 'I am going to tie you up and research you, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.' Were it on any other female, it would've been slightly less disturbing. Or is that more? Hard to tell.
"Oh shush," Twilight said, staring at a bank of machinery. "You want to know these results as much as I do."
"Yes," I countered, "But I would think there would be other ways than rendering me immobile with sensors to get them."
She turned towards me and smiled a very creepy smile. "Well, true enough, but those ways aren't nearly as much fun."
"Ah-HA! You are holding a grudge against me! It's that whole arson thing, isn't it?"
Twilight growled a bit at that. "Partially. But this is also revenge for constantly winding me up. And a down payment on everything you're going to do."
"Now what makes you think-"
"You're you. Case closed."
"Ouch, Twilight. Just ouch. For the record, I have had nothing to do with the shenanigans that have happened ever since I became a pony. That's all on you guys. I just want to go home, learn how to walk and such with four legs, and then figure out just how long I have to wait until I'm back to normal."
Twilight sighed. "Which is why it's important we get these readings done now. We'll have a baseline for later!"
My ears flicked a bit at that. Still getting used to having rotatable ears, by the by. Weird as all get out. "Wait. Later? You're doing this again?"
The sound of her chuckling did not fill me with enthusiasm.
-----
So. The baseline.
Not that it was degrading at all for Twilight to get the baseline. Heavens no.
Though I think I would've been feeling cleaner and less violated if I ran through the sewers of Las Vegas.
But I digress. The baseline for my pony form showed only a few anomalies! Which is wonderful, considering the circumstances of getting it. (I am told it took a day and was a long process that sickened doctors to even hear, much less look at.)
Apparently, the anomalies are threefold. What fun. First, my coat. Apparently, it appears to be made of something that is not hair/fur at all. There's a distinct metallic quality to it, which answers the question of 'where did the clothes Typhon made me go.' I can't wait to see what'll happen should I get in a combat situation. Or sufficiently angry.
The second anomaly is my magic. Apparently, there is the capacity for it to be higher than a normal unicorn's power. However, every time it gets past some invisible line, the power gets siphoned off to...well, Twi wasn't able to answer, but I know, or have a theory anyways. My magic in this form is being converted into raw power for my agelessness to turn back into true immortality again. Once I get about...oh, halfway there, I think I'll be able to transform into a human form again and not have to worry about the world shoving me back into this pony body. Could be wrong.
The third anomaly is my hooves. Apparently they don't just look crystal blue. They seem to be made of blue crystals, but not any sort Twilight can identify. They also seem to be natural magic drains - more magic is channeled into my body from the world around me primarily through my hooves. It was while Twilight was stressing over my hooves that I figured out just what they actually are.
She'd taken the monitoring devices off me and was looking at the readout from one of her machines. "It just doesn't make any sense! The crystal of your hooves doesn't match any known types of crystals, and let's not go over the fact that an organic being is producing crystal as a by-product. Or the fact that they're channeling magic into you! Your body just does not make sense!"
I reached out with a hoof and laid it on her...withers? Is that the term? It's where the shoulders would be on a human, anyways. And then I said the stupidest thing.
"Don't worry, Twilight. I'm fairly certain not everything about me or my powers are meant to be understood."
At that, my hoof shone with an inner light, and Twilight tensed, letting out a small gasp as she did so. "Of course, you aren't properly a pony. We'd have to do so many other tests to see if we can isolate your unique magic and see how it behaves as compared to any other unicorn's magic. And those powers called Psynergy, so many tests to do! So much science to be done! But at the end, if you can finally be quantified, it will be worth it!"
She rushed out, and Measured stuck her head in the room. I'd like to think I was giving her my best 'Oh god no' face.
Eureka, the Blade of Understanding, was now located in my hooves. And it reacted to what I'd said. And I'd touched Twilight with it activated by accident.
"Measured," I said.
"Yes?"
I turned to face where the Lavender Terror had gone. "I believe I have made a grave, grave error."
"Yes?"
I nodded once. "Indeed. It would seem young Sparkle was seized by sudden inspiration. A moment of revelation. An 'aha' moment, if you will, once I started talking about how I and my powers were not meant to be properly conceptualized."
Measured nodded slowly. "Yeeees?"
I looked down at the hoof that had been touching Twilight. "It would seem I have located my sword, and what not to say when touching a pony with my hooves, even accidentally. Kindly get me out of here before the return of The Crazed Lavender One."
Measured nodded and hauled me over to a physical therapy room in the hospital. There, I spent an hour, a solid hour, learning how to walk and run and all sorts of fun locomotion maneuvers. The reason why I didn't spend longer there was simple: That was about when Twilight got back.
How could I tell, you ask? Well, apparently, Twilight's been taking Royal Speaking Lessons with Luna. I know these things, you see, because I experience them.
"AURIC FULCRUM, GET YOUR SORRY FLANK OVER HERE AND CAST WHATEVER SPELL YOU CAST LAST TIME! I NEED ANOTHER RUSH OF INSPIRATION!"
That was our cue to get out of the hospital. Fortunately, I could now run...or is it gallop? Properly. So we did.
Were it not for Measured's last-second teleportation, I doubt we'd have escaped Twilight at all. I distinctly recall running across open fields, the sound of wingbeats coming closer, looking over my shoulder to see a flash of lavender, and then we were at the tower, safe, sound.
Right up until Twilight started screaming and banging at the wards, it was bliss. So, ten seconds, really. It's more than I normally get.
I sighed and walked through my ever-changing door, ending up first with Measured's room (not where I wanted to be), then I got my room (not a bad idea, a nap), and then I remembered to ask politely and ended up in the kitchen.
I wasn't in the mood for hay or flowers, and I also wasn't willing to put my new tastebuds to the test with either those or meat. So fruit and veg it is! Fortunately, Measured stocked up recently. How, I'm not sure. I'll have to ask soon.
I munched on an apple and some lettuce, thankful for low enough tables, before I grabbed some water already in a glass and sighed. "Today has been hectic, no two ways about it."
Measured giggled from nearby. "But it'll get better. You're already using your hooves like you would your hands."
I blinked and looked at the glass I was holding. Indeed, I was holding it in my hoof. "Huh. Gonna have to research that. Ah well. It's been a trying day, and though Twi's still out there, banging on the wall..."
I let a particularly loud blast interrupt me, this one sounding like a cross between a lightning spell and Twilight attempting to shout the tower down.
"I feel exhausted and could do with a rest. I'll see you in the morning, Measured."
I walked through the door, remembering to ask to end up in my room this time, and climbed on top of my now-gigantic bed. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.
...What? I've slept through worse than an angry Twilight. I once slept through a damn hurricane. Twilight was nothing compared to that.
All of my giggles.
Also, holy shit it's late! I'm giggling!
Aw, and I thought today would be a biology lesson and sex education.
4313686 All of your giggles and my raucous laughter.
He touched Twilight with the power of knowledge.....I feel sorry for that house.
Oh dear lord, she's gonna tie him up in her basement and use him as her personal muse.
Anatomy class will have to wait, though I'm sure Twilight got more than enough data to make up a full course.
4313778 If he thought Celestia was bad with the silver linings joke....I pity the poor fool with a twilight sparkle looking for inspiration every chance she can get.
OUCH but very true
ya THINK???!
loved the update waiting for more
4313848
He'll have to use all his tricks and friends to escape her
So with a dash of understanding Twilight becomes Mordin? I'm ok with this.
assets.diylol.com/hfs/7eb/2f5/423/resized/mordin-solus-meme-generator-mother-of-god-they-are-toying-with-me-must-run-tests-f29c8f.png?1333351067.jpg
Immortal turned pony + Angry Twilight Sparkle = Havoc. Better hope you can find a nice secluded island to spend the rest of eternity on later, because you're kinda screwed otherwise- she'll find a way to get in there eventually.
You know the term, all good things must come to an end? I believe you crossed that line when you turned Dullahan to Auric to a pony.
Now, touch Celestia!
And Pink- Wait..probably wouldn't affect her...
Cue Twilight with a magically enhanced Royal Canterlot Capslock.
4314642 Pinkie probably Understands and then some
Considering her magical might, she could probably summon up a hurricane if she thought it would help her gain entrance.
jeez dude! how fast do write these stories!?!?
4316193
The only breaks on this train are the ones labeled 'CROSSOVER'.
4316198 but still! you are crazy fast at these!
4316198 even then they are not good brakes
Shall I say, TRILOGY?
4316637
More like THRILLOGY!
oh god i am so sorry
... and I woke up the next morning to find Measured Thoughts' head nestled under my chin, with my forehooves wrapped around her and holding her close. I blinked a few times, then shrugged and closed my eyes. My ear flicked at a dull bang, and I guessed Twilight decided to either not go home, or come back early. The noise caused Measured to stir, but she settled back down after I gave her a brief nuzzle.
...wait, did I seriously just do that? CRAP!
4317516 Don't be sorry. That pun was beautiful. THE PUNMAN, NOW MAKES HIS EXIT! Lunar Posterior, AWAY!
4317863 Away with the Lunar Posterior before night falls, lest we bear witness to two moons!
...
I'm so sorry, that was awful.
DENIED TWILIGHT
I picture a greatly slowed morph without the accompanied numbing effect of andalite morphing technology.
Twilight Sparkle is... PONYBORN.
Twilight Sparkle is... PONYBORN.
4352384
Fahdonveysun Los Lah!
{According to Elder Scrolls wiki, that would be "Friendship is Magic" in the Dragon Language.}
4327628 The bone-cracking sounds from the Morph mod for MineCraft...
*evil laughter can be heard by ponies all throughout Equestria*