I am a picky reader+eater.I can do Applebloom(Talk and sing),Scootalo(T+S),RD(A little,definitely singing),The rest of the mane six(T+S),Cadence,Derpy, DJ PON-3(A little),Daring Do. I love mlp+singing
Society in Equestria took a fews things as fact about their race, Unicorns have magic, A pegasus has wings that are used to fly, Earth ponies can farm. One of these facts is wrong, and it's up to Daring to find the ancient history of the Earth Ponies be he does.
Basically I am rewriting my entire story from scratch. It was honestly the cringiest thing I have ever seen now that I look back on it. Basically I will be editing/changing the entire story (maybe not from scratch 
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wow cool story
NO FOUL LANGUAGE UNLESS IT IS PONY FOUL
Oooookaaaaay....
Um... This is the first thing you've ever written isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, this is not a BAD story. Far from it. The premise's is good. The dialogue works. You're decent at characterization. And you seem to have a grasp of pacing.
BUT....
First of all, you need to pick a formatting scheme and stick to it. Sometimes you indent, sometimes you double space, sometimes you do both, sometimes you do neither.
Second. For the love of Celestia, get a proofreader. When *I* recognize punctuation difficulties, you've got some issues.
Thirdly, and lastly. The whole thing feels very... I can't find a good word... Amature? No that's too mean...
With some polish, this could be something really spectacular. Keep writing. Keep flexing your brain, and you'll get there.
Good luck?
47714This is my first time writing and with the writing skill of that of a sixth grader (I am not in sixth grade- english has never been my strong side) I keep doing my best... thank you for the feed... i shall see what i can do