• Published 27th Apr 2014
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How Hard Could it Be? - Richardson



The Cutie Mark Crusaders need a Tutor, Celestia Needs a Vacation, and Luna needs some Respect. How Hard Could it Be?

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6.2

6.2

A panting heap collapsed under the archway to Sweet Apple Acres; the quivering pile formerly known as Sunbeam resting on the dusty dirt path as she tried to recover from the exhausting trip from town. As she half-choked on the dust kicked up by her hopping, bouncing gait she wondered how exactly Pinkie managed to bounce all over Equestria like she did. She couldn’t even manage to pull off the same feat from town to the acres. Huff. Huff. That mare just wasn’t normal, it seemed.

That bounce was probably how Pinkie could get away with eating enough sweets to turn any other pony into an equine blimp. It just wasn’t fair. C’mon, Sunbeam. You could get up. Just up with a leg and- nope, totally jelly. If she was going to be stuck all day there from floppy legs, she was going to be pi-

“Afternoon.” What? Oh, Big Macintosh. Wait, wha-!? No-no!

“Afternoon.” Sunbeam croaked as she made a valiant attempt to stand up. She stretched out a leg, feeling it burn and twitch and wobble in the air like a flailing tube pony.

Big Mac had been heading into town with a pair of cider barrels for the stand when he had noticed the pile of former Sunbeam. He had hoped to get done quick and get back to passing on more apples for Granny Smith’s mid-season canning and other endeavors, but it seemed that Sweet Apple Acres was going to have unexpected guest issues all season. Idly, he worked on the cost to benefit ratio of the idea of charging for visitor passes to the farm, since it seemed like it was becoming a tourist trap. Naw, too much work. Ah, time to deal with the heap of pony in his way. “So, what brings you up?”

“A job.” Still croaking a bit like an old ninja sensei frog, Sunbeam tried to stand a little more forcefully, shaking like a leaf as she rose to her fore-legs. The burning was bad, the burning meant itching all night.

Big Macintosh set his barrels down as he got ready to catch her. “A job?” What was it with ponies raising eyebrows at her?

“Yes?” Seriously, all she wanted to do was work her over-plump tushie off until she fell over and died.

“Why?”

Gingerly, Sunbeam poked her midsection and let it wobble and jiggle as she tried to hold steady on three hooves. “I need less of this, and I’d like to do something productive while losing it.”

Macintosh reared his head back slightly in thought, humming to himself lightly as he weighed his options. “That all ya want? Hard work, ya understand.” Seriously, getting skinny was a pretty unusual payment option. Hard to do, too. Granny Smith would stuff her silly.

Sunbeam tried to quiver to all over hooves, stopping when she decidedly didn’t like the way the world wanted to shake like one of those infernal ‘nightclubs’ in ‘wub night.’ “Well, I’m trying to set a good example for your little sister. Some-pony’s making a fuss about my weight. Better than trying to work out in a gym, Ponyvile doesn’t have one.”

“Can ya buck?”

Oh, he did not. “What did you just say to-“Sunbeam stopped herself as her brain caught up to her ears and mouth and slapped them silly. Well, there went those job prospects. Macintosh frowned at her, silently judging as she shook herself out and recomposed herself. “Um, actually, sorry. I thought you meant the other kind. I never actually learned how to applebuck. I never had the chance to, but I can learn if you have the time to teach me.” She cringingly smiled as the great stallion leaned in close and inspected her, feeling uncomfortably like her student for some reason.

He looked her over, inspecting her form from fetlocks to nose. Snorts punctuated his inspections as he observed particularly unfit portions of her makeup; and yet, yet there was still something in there, under all the softness of a mare who had let herself go. No touching, of course; then again, no need. He had been watching her slowly approach, watching her Pinkie Pronk up the lane. He could see the twitching muscles beneath the padding, strong enough to raise an eyebrow. Who was she, to be so tough and so soft? She almost reminded him of an old soldier long after their term was done, for some reason.

For Sunbeam, the process was mortifying, but an understandable need. If he just hired her on without even the most cursory check on her fitness and she hurt herself, there’d be all sorts of legal shenanigans. Not the nice kind with lots of fun, but the mean kind involving lawyers—even if she wouldn’t want them. Her cringing smile slowly fell as he kept on inspecting her; she probably wasn’t fit for the job any-

“Yer hired.”

“I what?” Sunbeam stuttered. That was it? Her wings twitched and shifted in strange ways as Big Macintosh just picked up his pair of barrels again. “That’s it? No instructions or evaluations?” Nope, total blank as to why he’d just hire her on like that. She made Pinkie look like a paragon of healthiness. She knew he wasn’t one for saying much, but she wasn’t exactly telepathic.

“Granny Smith ‘ll talk with ya. Get ya situated, all that.” Big Mac cryptically mentioned as he started walking off again. “Can’t miss ‘er.” He hollered over his shoulder as he walked down the road.

“Can’t miss her?” Sunbeam incredulously asked as she watched the short tail of the stallion sway with his gait as he trotted over the crest of the next hill and disappeared behind it. She looked around, not seeing any sign of the old green mare she had seen around town once or twice. “What’s that supposed to mean? Go to the house? Walk around the orchard? Turn around to find her right behind me?”

“Well howdy, stranger!”

In retrospect, she had outright asked for it.

Granny Smith chuckled as Sunbeam jumped thirty yards straight up and spontaneously manifested a cloud to hide atop while peering over the edge with just her eyes and wing-tips suspiciously. Something nagged in the back of her mind as she waved to the orange mare. Like she knew her, or her voice—no, probably just old age getting her neighbors mixed up with her princesses again. “Name’s Granny! Granny Smith. Ah hear mah grandson hired ya!”

“Sunbeam?” Said mare squeaked, shaking her cloud a little from the surprise.

“Bit flighty, ain’tchya, Sunbeam?” Granny asked, watching as the edge of Sunbeam’s cloud wobbled with her head-nod. “Ah know the feeling. When’s yer foal supposed to drop?” The old green mare asked as she looked up to her new prospective part-time farm hoof. Boy, they made them squeaky in those cloud-cities nowadays.

“What!?!” Sunbeam crowed angrily as she hung her head over the side fully.

“Well, yer showing mighty strongly ‘round the middle. Figured between that hop ‘o yers and all the rest was just signs of broody. Sorry fer asking.” Granny Smith apologized, kicking a hoof against the ground. “Just wondering how soon we were gonna need to schedule some time off fer ya.” She explained, pointing back at the barn house.

Sunbeam quivered a little, whether from indignation, confusion, or jello-fication from trying to Pinkie she couldn’t tell.

“Aww, ya ain’t gonna come down?” Granny asked a bit plaintively, demonstrating the original model of the Applebloom Patented Puppy Stare as she did. When Sunbeam twitchingly shook her head, she laughed heartily, yelping a little when a muscle pulled somewhere. Grinning from ear to ear, Granny sat down and held up her hooves wide apart as she waited for her guest to come down. “Aw, now don’t be so skeered! Just cause Ah still got mah bark doesn’t mean Ah’m gonna bite ya! Even if Ah did bite, mah chompers are all long gone, and it’d be a nice gummin’ sensation.”

Sunbeam carefully flittered down, uncertainly hovering just out of reach of the uncannily cheerful old mare with a bit of excessive wing-beats until she dropped with a bit of force to the ground to land on her jello legs.

“See? Ain’t got to chomping yet!” Granny leaned over as she welcomed Sunbeam and slapped her on the fore-shoulder. Poor Sunbeam bit back a whimper as her burning muscle most painfully protested the light hit; but Granny didn’t notice, plowing on in her greetings. “Good to see more ponies bringing life into this world! Best thing Ah ever went through. Save for that last part, come to think of it.” Granny tapped a hoof on her chin as she tried to remember it. She knew there was plenty of screaming, and pushing, and knocking ponies’ teeth out. Probably best that her memory was going on that part. Bah.

As Sunbeam stood there, a bit painfully aching as she tried to figure out what the matron was talking about, her stomach interrupted the discussion with a growl like a hungry manticore. Granny’s eyes widened as she took a step back in impressed worry. “Oh, land’s sakes! Ya ain’t been eatin’ enough fer the little one! If yer not careful, yer youngin’s gonna eat your middle right on through!” She hopped up and rushed around to Sunbeam’s backside and started pushing her towards the kitchen.

Yelping a little, Sunbeam dug her hooves in, kicking up deepening furrows as the old matron put a disturbing amount of force into her shoves. “Wait, wait! I’m not pregnant!” She rocked as the pushing halted.

“Ya ain’t?”

Shaking her head hard for a few second, Sunbeam felt a little dizzy from the motion. Less of that, more explaining before the stuffing started. “I’m uh-“ She squashed the big barrel bulge around it’s middle with a foreleg, her limb vanishing into her hungry gut well over the knee as she squeezed tight, “—sort of fat and needing lots of diet and exercise. I just hired on with the school and need to set a good example for the foals.”

Granny Smith looked at her guest with new eyes, standing back for a moment as she took a new look. “Whoa, nellies.” Wait no, that wasn’t neighborly at all! Putting on a good smile for Sunbeam, Granny started pushing and pulling to steer her around the house. At least that explained a few things about why she wanted to work there. A big old cider barrel like that ‘round her middle would come right off with a bit of applebucking. Best to get her started up and kicking; hard work would have that barrel rolling down the road in a heart- wait. “Aww, dagnabit, here Ah’ve been insultin’ ya. Ah was thinking yer pregnant and causing all sorts of whoopin and hollering ‘round ya. Oh, this ain’t anything like me.”

Boy, that smile was getting strained on Sunbeam’s face. Why was it that the instant she finally accepted being overweight ever since she banished her sister that every-pony else decided to start making excuses for it? Honestly, it was getting old. “No, no. I actually rather enjoyed having some-pony think I wasn’t overweight for once.” She took her shaky leg away from her gut, letting it rebound to its natural resting state. “I’m just looking for the most physically intensive work you have.”

“Oh no, ya don’t! Yer trying to work without getting paid, missy! Ain’t no-pony gonna work on this farm without getting their fair due! Ah’mma gonna pay ya and yer gonna like it!” Granny put her hoof down on the matter then bumped Sunbeam along again. Young fancy whipper-snappers in the world really got on her nerves, thinking they could go around hollering fancy concepts like that. Nosiree, Granny Apple Smith was gonna some them what happened when they worked on a farm! They’d get paid what was comin’ to them, and if it took her the rest of her life, she’d make those five young’ns take their pay.

“Really, pay isn’t necessary! I already said so! My payment is getting fit to be a good example for all the little foals!”

“That ain’t so! Getting’ fitter than a square-dancing fiddler is just what happens workin’ on a farm! That ain’t pay! Honestly, thinkin’ yer gonna get away with doing all our work for us without getting pay, like Applejack’s friends; gotta lot of nerve! Young ponies nowadays, thinkin’ they can do good things and not get what’s coming for ‘em!” What was that? Enjoying being a crotchety old mare who got to tell ponies ‘in mah day’? No, sir! Granny Smith would never do such a thing! Well, maybe not on a Monday…

“I’m only trying to stick it to Filthy Rich for trying to give me trouble!”

Sunbeam flopped forward as Granny shoved her hard, then scooted back when the old mare marched around to stare her in the eyes. “Wut you say?”

Sunbeam’s eyes twitched in every which direction as she tried to look anywhere other than into the gaze of an angry old mare. “I’m sticking it to Filthy Rich because his daughter has him wrapped around his hoof? She’s convinced him that she’s his little alicorn princess and that she can do no wrong, and is getting him to fire teachers and ponies who call her out on her bullying. So, I’m here to make it as hard as possible for him to find fault with me so he has to confront the fact that she’s a bad filly, meaning I have to lose weight?” Sunbeam babbled as Granny’s stare slowly pressed her head down to ground level from its force.

“Oh!” Granny sheepishly admitted. She pulled back from Sunbeam and frowned grumpily. “Well why didn’tchya say so?”

“What?” She needed a new phrase of confusion. Sunbeam slowly crawled back to her hooves, looking back down at Granny.

Granny’s sheepish frumpiness slowly turned into a deep scowl as she thought about the heir to the Rich family business. “Ah getchya now.” Didn’t mean she liked knowing for certain that her issues with the little pink filly was more than something in her head.

“Bad encounter?”

“Could say that. Learned her lesson that time, but Ah’ve been watching what mah Grand-Filly’s been up to. Ain’t something a blind pony can miss.” She harrumphed. “Was wondering why that little—oh, she gets my gander up sometimes with what she does to mah own. Least that ‘splains why she ain’t getting what’s coming to her.” Granny got up and started marching, expecting Sunbeam to follow her up the hill.

The fierce scowl slowly faded to a small squiggle on her scrunched muzzle as she considered the plight of the Rich family. They were worse off than the local apple branch in some ways. Filthy was still broken up over his wife’s death a few years back, but that was no reason to let his filly go to rot like he was. It wasn’t her place to meddle in other ponies’ families, though, no matter how much she wanted to give Applejack and her fool brother a what-for over letting Tiara get away with her nonsense.

“We’ve got a bit farther, gonna go ahead and show you old Fuji, ah think you’ll like ‘er. Right up yer country-road for seeing how well yer applebuck is.” Granny helpfully informed as she lead her charge through a thick row of apple trees.

Feeling cheeky, Sunbeam confirmed. “Eeyup?”

Granny gave her the old stink-eye, shutting her up. Ponies didn’t get to use the eeyup until they hauled in a nice load of apples.

She led her on, down through the slowly sloping valleys and the rows of apple trees, down under the shadow of the barn-house on the hill. Granny spread open a set of bushed to reveal one of the last of the first-growths of the orchard. An old giant stood in the small clearing, stretching up and casting a deep shadow over the ring of trees surrounding it, rising up upon a twisted and braided trunk to tower high enough to spread over the local trees. From the house, it gave the illusion of the valley floor being higher than it actually was, covering over the trees surrounding it. Quiet whispers of older times surrounded it, the cool air still and quiet, magical almost like the cave of the tree of harmony.

Granny slowly walked up to the old, fruitless giant, tapping its trunk and tracing up a crease in the twisted trunk as high as she could reach. “This here is Old Fuji. Sort of the heart of Sweet Apple Acres. She’s about six or so trees that all grew together, kinda like them element thingies.” She explained to her student, giving her old friend of a tree a last pat on the side. Above, a wind lightly blew through the branches with the oddest sound of metallic twanging hanging on the sighing gusts. “Ain’t never heard her say that before. Bah, no matter. Probably Applebloom doing some dang fool thing again.”

“Say?” Sunbeam was starting to get an idea as to what kind of tree ‘old Fuji’ was.

“Eeyup. Every Apple orchard has a tree just like ‘er. Some just kind of come in naturally, others get grown like she did. Remind me to tell ya of Bloomberg down in Appleloosa some time.” Granny exposited, slowly trotting around the massively wide trunk as she did. She looked along the circumference of the massive tree, checking it over for hurts or injuries. “Sort of like the heart of the orchard. The better it does, the better the whole farm does.”

Oh yes, she had heard of them before. “I heard that before the unification, earth pony farmers had trees like this. The magic of the farmers combined into the magic of the tree, giving it life beyond what it should to act like some kind of a tree alicorn. Some even supposedly had animate spirits. I never heard of any after the unification.” Sunbeam slowly crept closer, feeling the spirit within, and felt it inspect her.

Like Fluttershy might inspect a mouse who was causing trouble. Eep.

Granny Smith rubbed her chin in thought. “Never heard of ‘em. Makes sense, though. Apples try to get back to our roots.” She waved the hoof in the air in front of her. “Bah, getting’ all filly-sophical. Bad fer my health at my age.” She concluded, leaning against Fuji’s trunk whimsically. It was easy to see where Applejack got her mannerisms from. “Doesn’t matter much. We’ll see what ya can do by giving ole’ Fuji here a good whack. Don’t worry ‘bout hurting her, the princess would have trouble knocking her over. She’s a tough old gal, with deep roots.”

Sunbeam chuckled nervously, rubbing a shivering hoof against the back of her neck as she closed her eyes into a nervous squint.

That nervousness was exasperated by a good natured swat to her rump by the old matron, who had somehow snuck behind her. Giving an amicable smile, Granny jerked her head at Old Fuji. “C’mon now, have at her. Ya ain’t gonna break her. Might break yerself, but Ah can fix that.” Granny raspingly reassured, remembering fun times when Applejack had overextended and nearly dislocated her legs. Boy; that had been fun. Bit squirmy and holler-ey, but fun.

Then again, the young mare standing beside her reminded Granny Smith of something old for some reason. Maybe Celestia. Nah, it was probably just the voice, it sounded familiar to her ears. She scoffed, remembering how she had to have hearing aids half the time, it couldn’t be Celestia’s voice. A nagging feeling all the same suggested that she had seen the big orange mare with her own two eyes before, but with a horn. She was getting pretty senile if she was seeing random ponies as alicorns. Oh, right. Lessons. “Well? Ain’tchya gonna have a whack at her?”

“I don’t, uh, actually know how to applebuck. Your grandson just sent me to you.”

Muttering to herself about disrespectful whipper-snappers, Granny hoped her new hip was up to the task. She’d never really given it a go. “And Big Macintosh thought I’d just show ya? Ah’m gonna have words with that boy when he gets back from town.” She grumbled, picking her way over the soft, strange grass of the clearing to Fuji’s side with a bit of stretching out for a gentle imitation kick. She looked up into the tree branches high above, well out of reach of ten ponies standing atop each other. The old tree was still fruitless, like it had been for the past two years; damned shame, and worrisome to boot.

Sunbeam sat down at a distance and waited to see what would happen, getting ready to act in case Granny Smith hurt herself. She waved nervously when Granny looked at her to make sure she was paying attention, getting a face-hoof from the old matron for her trouble.

“Right, well pay attention! Ah’ll show ya, but yer gonna have to put a lot more force into it than little old me.” Granny shouted over before she delivered a light love-tap to the old tree with a perfect kick. Fuji quivered, its leaves rustling as it greeted its old friend. “Like that, except wallop the dickens outta her!” A single green apple dropped from the skies, landing at Granny’s hooves. “What the- cheeky old tree. Ah ain’t about to bugger off. Fuji better respect me a little more than that!” She crankily shouted at the tree before looking both ways and taking a big bite of the apple, relishing the tart taste. Still just like her.

“I, uh, might break if I go all out, Mrs. Smith.” Sunbeam nervously protested as she walked up. Okay, it was probably a silly worry, but still—odd, did Old Fuji shiver as she trotted up?

“It’s Granny Smith. Only ones callin’ me ‘Mrs.’ Are ponies older than ah am. And let me tell ya something, there’s only two! Now let’s see yer form!”

Sunbeam twisted around and tapped Fuji with her hind-hooves, quivering the tree lightly with the tap. Little creaks could be heard throughout the area for some reason as it shook.

“Harder!”

She struck again, putting a bit of her weight into the swing. Little taps and rustles could be heard in the leaves as things shifted high above.

“Harder!”

Putting her whole body into the kick, Sunbeam solidly smacked the old apple tree, making it groan a bit from the force. The canopy above shifted back and forth, swaying lightly.

“AH SAID WALLOP ‘ER, NOT RARITY ‘ER!”

Calling upon the earth pony part of her aspects, Sunbeam channeled the longevity and resilience of her true self into her hind hooves for the kick, hoping to transfer it into the tree to protect it from her full force. They glowed ever so slightly golden as she let fly, solidly planting her hooves into the twisted side of the conjoined tree in a perfect full-force imitation of Granny Smith’s demonstration. From roots to the highest leaf of the tallest branch, Fuji quivered and shook, sharply shaking with the booming crack of the hit.

Silence reigned for a moment.

“Whoa, Nellie. Now that’s an applebu-“ An apple dropped from the branches, bopping Granny Smith atop the thick bun of her mane, silencing her with a yelp. She rubbed her head and picked up the strange golden apple, shining it on the side of her leg. “Wut in tarnation?”

A rumble shook the tree-top as Sunbeam nervously looked upwards with her legs still planted against the side of the tree. All the branches shook violently, rustling wildly with sudden motion and the dropping of weight. The pair realized that the branches were all hanging oddly low just a second before the hundreds of the golden apple’s little buddies joined it in falling to the ground, sending Granny Smith running in terror as Sunbeam found herself swiftly buried.

“What in the moon-howling prairie-puppy holler-stomp is this?” Cried the old mare as she looked over the mess. Confusion reigned as she tried to make sense of what had just happened, looking up at the branches of Old Fuji. The tree hadn’t yielded a proper harvest in a decade! It had just barely dropped a yield the year that Applejack had run off to Manehatten, and had only dropped a few apples since.

Figuring that that rapscallion of a friend, Rainbow Dash was probably hiding up in the leaves and laughing at Applejack’s expense, Granny looked over the branches so she could pelt a pegasus. Instead, the largest harvest of apples she had ever seen sat waiting in the branches loading them down so hard she was afraid a few might break. Thousands, tens of thousands of apples hung from the thick old airborne trunks of wood; apples of every breed and size, from her own Smiths to Macintoshes and Zap Apples.

“Oh lawdy. Well, ah ain’t never seen nothin’ like this.” Granny Smith whispered in awe as she looked up. “Ah think we’re on the receiving end of a mighty fine omen, Ah’d say. She paused when she realized Sunbeam hadn’t said anything since the heavens fell. “Oi, Sunbeam? Are ya okay there?”

Groaning under the massive pile of apples that had buried her alive and nearly knocked her senseless Sunbeam stirred. “No, Luna—not the cakes.” She whimpered painfully, out of her senses.

Ain’t no princess here, sugar.” Granny Smith mirthfully noted as she mostly unburied Sunbeam by pulling out one choice apple that collapsed the whole pile. “Now then, let’s get ya up.”

She tugged at the poor prostrate mare’s forelegs, tugging her upwards until they jerked to a halt and fell back onto the unstable pile of apples. Granny’s smile squiggled into a puzzled frown as she tried to figure out what was holding her in place. Glancing back, Granny Smith’s eyes opened wide when she noticed a peculiar sight. “Ah, dagnabit, it’s Big Mac all over again!”

“What?” Sunbeam tried to roll over, uncomfortably sprawling on her side when her hind-hooves remained stuck in mid-air, or so it felt. Struggling through a shifting, sliding layer of apples, she looked back as Granny Smith started tracing a hoof down the side of her barrel and up her legs, stopping when her withered green hoof rubbed off of the soft peach fuzz of Sunbeam’s legs and bumped against the fresh bark of the newly expanded trunk that had swallowed her hooves over their fetlocks. “What the-“

“Big Macintosh had the same issue. Dunno what it is. Ah’m afraid ya’ll be stuck for a bit.” Granny grumbled, making plans to try and get Sunbeam free without hurting Fuji.

Not particularly wanting to go through another bout of getting eaten by a plant, Sunbeam tugged and twisted to try and pull her hooves free, but couldn’t get the leverage with only her forelegs. She slipped again, flopping back to her chest and stomach in her uncomfortably curled position braced against the tree. She could have teleported out, but not with witnesses, she didn’t need all the ponies in Ponyvile figuring out her secret. “What happened? How did I get stuck?”

Irony passed Fate a hundred bits.

Shaking her head, Granny Smith shrugged. Ain’t got no clue. Somehow, ya got ole’ Fuji’s dander up, or maybe ya kicked a whole bunch of life into the old girl, or maybe she got hungry. Dunno which. Ya kicked into the trunk somehow, and she went and got to growing lots. Saw it a few times with mah grandson and some young trees he kicked some life into.” She explained, miming a little itty-bitty baby tree sprouting up fast. “Ain’t gonna worry much. It’s a good omen, Ah tell ya. Now just ya hang tight while Ah get mah grand-foals over to help ya out of this mess.”

“Really? Hang tight?” Sunbeam tiredly snarked, slipping again and dropping her chin into the ground painfully a second later.

“What’chya want? A comedian? Ah’ll be back from town in a jiffy. Feel free to lie around, yer not gonna go anywhere.” Granny said as she picked her way through the piles of apples on the ground. It was gonna be a good time to be alive, yup. Might even see Big Macintosh pick some-pony to date finally! Hah, like he’d ever. He liked ‘em—hmm. She might just have a prospect. “An’ have an apple! Most of ‘em ain’t gonna be much good by the time we get back. Ain’t gonna hurt to have a few. Good fer ya.”

“Wonderful.” Sunbeam mumbled annoyedly. At least the day’s classes were over for her.

She laid on her chest as the Apple matron ambled away, propping her chin up with one hoof at the other scratched and tapped at the ground annoyedly. At the rate Granny Smith was going, it’d take her the rest of day to get to town and back again. She couldn’t just teleport out, they’d be expecting her to still be there, and she didn’t particularly like the idea of trying to separate plant tissue from around her hooves in the process. At least it was cool and calm there, maybe she could take a nap…

She started arranging apples up into tall stacks, keeping the ground-contaminated ones on the bottom while forming the rest into relatively stable piles. She picked one up and took a crunchy and juicy bite out of it as the minutes stretched out. They tasted oddly good, actually.

Then the moment was shattered with a double-boom echoing through the trees, metallic and harsh. A whistling screeched through the air. Any good feeling got ruined pretty quickly after that when a particularly familiar pegasus foal fell through the trees towards her face.

She was getting really tired of getting jerked around, come to think of it.

Author's Note:

*Big Macintosh had counted by that point: One obnoxious sea pony, one 'pegasus' who had tried to be too much like Pinkie for her own good, 57 reviewers coming on the word of Trenderhoof, several diamond dogs that could be charitably described at best as 'chihuahuas', several element bearers, three prench models, two griffon performers, and a Zecora on a moving tree. After that last one, he started checking his cider.

*Granny Smith, alias Granny Ninja, alias Bandit Smith, alias 'That Crazy Old Mare from Down the Lane', alias the 'Applevenger'. She's not really sure where all those names came from herself, nowadays. Bit of a gap in the old memory.

*Old Fuji, also known as a Heart or Harmony Tree. Known to display unusual abilities depending on whether or not the bonded caretakers are in harmony with one another. Often, a disharmonious group attempting to tend to the tree will cause lesser yields or a self-pruning back, but it should be noted that misfortune can cause events that will leave such a tree relatively barren, as can just sheer old age. Granted, the displayed reaction to 'Sunbeam' could best be described as "MINE!"