5.5
5.5
That the Tree of Harmony had seen fit to include a doorbell on the ‘Fortress of Friendship’—as it was increasingly called to several group’s discontent—was an interesting trait; that the ringing bells joyously sounding were interestingly reminiscent of a particularly repeated song in Fluttershy’s dreams was a beautiful and wondrous joy. What was not so much a joy was the annoyed look upon Twilight’s face that Luna witnessed in the few seconds of observation she was allotted. “No Solicitors! Any business is supposed to go to the Royal Court!” SLAM!
Well. That was that then. Ring. Ring. Ring. “No!” “Yes” “What!?”
Luna waited patiently, smugly as Twilight opened the door again cautiously and peeked through. Bowing, she greeted her savior with the respect that she knew the lavender mare so rarely received. “Greetings, friend. It’s good to see you once more.” She rose up, stepping through the numbly held door and out of the sight of Ponyvile. She kicked the door lightly shut, dispelled the protective illusion that Twilight should have seen through once again, wrapped a wing around Twilight and nuzzled the purple alicorn’s ear affectionately. “Of course, what is more pleasing is confirmation that I have changed my image well.”
Well, she glanced down and cleaned some of the lint that had gathered upon the dark grey of the business suit Rarity had rush-manufactured for her, mostly white and shining blue fur from Opal chasing Tiberius futilely. The clip-on long tie that ran down between the lapels of the outer layers still shimmered with an inner purplish light like that of the patch beneath her cutie mark, contrasting richly with the lunar white of her undershirt; and the brilliant white of her crescent moon and star shone with an unearthly light atop it all while clipped in place with a golden tie clasp. Rarity did do good work, she was hard-pressed to think of any-pony in the courts who looked so good if she allowed herself a slight bit of vanity.
“Princess Luna?” Twilight stammered, feeling an unfamiliar twitching somewhere in her chest as the diarch pushed her deeper into the foyer, away from the slight unfiltered light of the small windows and into the mysterious purple shadows of the crystal walls. She had never been quite wing-hugged by Luna—or Celestia, for that matter—before, and the warm feathery embrace was awfully distracting as it slid her across the floor towards the stairs. With the light shining through the walls, the suit seemed to just turn black like an obsidian monolith, with the faintest hint of stars reflecting in the fabric from the light of Luna’s mane and tail. H-had her mane been parted into bangs? It was rather pretty the way that it was pinned in place by the pair of obviously decorative glasses and sparkled—he-he—like little rivers of stars dribbling down the sides of Luna’s face.
Um, oh dear. Feeling a bit oddly warm, Twilight slouched down under the wing, letting it ride up under her hair as Luna inquisitively head-tilted at her. Oh! Right, she was supposed to say something coherent! She just needed to be respectful and greet her properly instead of being a nervous—“So, heh, how has Canterlot been lately?” She squeaked while chortling like a pony-hummingbird. Smooth, Twilight. Real smooth. No, wait! Don’t squeak like Fluttershy and try to hide behind your—aw, she was already hiding behind her own wing, wasn’t she? How was she supposed to show herself as being a proper princess if the first time Princess Luna shows up in a suit she freaks out worse than getting praise from P-Celestia? What was wrong with her, she had never gotten this flustered before.
Recognizing that she was having an odd effect on Twilight, Luna did her best to smooth things out. “Cold, I fear. The snow melt in the valleys from the avalanche is sapping the heat from the air around the mountain.” She lamented as she used a hoof to pull Twilight’s wing out from before her face. Still standing, she towered over poor, flustered Twilight. She wriggled her rump to adjust the annoyingly tight pants she wore as they rode up on her tail; not that she would have noticed the effect the gesture had on Twilight, and the way the mare seemed to glow a little pinker all over.
Giving up on getting them to sit right on her, she made a mental note to get an adjustment quickly from Rarity a little later and picked up with the small talk. “I should really apologize for not visiting you and all my other friends more often. Since I’ve had to take the day off for certain bits of business, I have an afternoon and evening free. I know I came to this wonderful, um, fortress just after the battle here for a short while; at the time I didn’t quite have the time for a full tour. So, mayhaps could I take the tour now? To spend time with a friend I rarely see, despite how she helped me so?”
“Oh, right! Tours! Um, if I had a map.” Twilight bashfully stammered, twiddling her hooves nervously. “I’m sort of still mapping it.” Why was she so- right, get out from under the wing. Shimmying down under the primaries, she crawled from Luna’s grasp and hopped up beside her. Luna wanted a tour, she needed to provide a tour and all she had was her and Spike’s rooms, the throney-council room, the kitchens, the landing foyer, the labs… uh, oh crud. “There’s uh, the Throney-Council room! Let me show you!” She took off, hovering just above Luna out of reach of the night alicorn’s fluffy wings as she indecisively gestured towards the stairway.
“Throney-council room? Ah, you mean the Council Chamber of Friendship? Yes, I believe you showed that in particular to me before I left last time.” Luna mentioned as she trotted towards the stairs slowly and started climbing up them after Twilight. Hmm, perhaps Rarity had performed too fine of a job in her design. Twilight seemed to be as distracted as she might be around a particularly desirable stallion, given the way she kept backing into things to keep eyes on her or the way she stammered and—was that blushing? Of course, it was rather enjoyable to watch her in the midst of an adorkable bluster. Well, what could they do to help her save face; could they—ah, yes. “I noticed an astronomy tower nestled within the branches, shall we visit it instead?”
“Astronomy what; I have one of those?”
“Ah, a treasure hunt! Come, Twilight! Let us find you map and further explore this magnificent edifice!” Luna proclaimed, shaking the fortress with the force of her exuberant voice. She hopped up onto her back legs and planted her fore-hooves in the small of Twilight’s back to start pressing her up the stairs. It was just like being back in her old castle, with all the lost chambers to be found in it.
“What?” Twilight stammered, more out of bewilderment than embarrassment. Okay, yeah, she wanted to get to know Luna better, but she had bigger concerns. “Hang on, I don’t have time to explore today!” She wasn’t sad or anything else, okay starting to get a little irritated as she tried to teleport away from Luna’s aura and pushing, only to be stopped. “I’m working with Mis- ugh, working with Sunbeam to help her fill out her municipal paperwork so she can go to work at the Ponyvile schoolhouse in between helping me with teaching the crusaders!”
No-pony else could get through the paperwork; she knew, she had tried to help five prior prospective teachers through the paperwork, but they all quit when they saw a pile of paperwork as high as P—ugh, Celestia’s withers. Hopefully that would stop Luna. It seemed to as Luna paused in her push, drooping, perking, beaming. Wait, beaming? “Truly? Sunbeam is here right now? Huzzah!”
“What, what? You know her?”
Before she could ask any further, Luna shoved her and the large bubble of magic she was in, tumbling her in it in a wild and out of control roll up the stairs. “Show me! She’s almost closer to me than my sister, and taught me much of the modern world! The lunar alicorn happily shouted over Twilight’s objections, continuing to roll her along in the bubble of magic as she charged up the stairs.
“Whoa, hang on!” Twilight complained as she spun around like a top from the mad movements. She barely had a moment to register the shocked look on Sunbeam’s face as they rounded around the edge of the next landing up behind the wall that blocked the view of the upper stairs from the foyer. Only the one moment, because in the next moment Sunbeam and Spike who had been riding on her back were enveloped by the rolling bubble of floating magic and gobbled up as part of the whirling ball of pony tumbling up the stairs. “Help! Stop! You found her!”
Luna halted as soon as she heard. But no, Physics didn’t like her any more than it did her sister—the big fat traitor. The whirling ball of ponies rolled out of Luna’s hooves and partially up the next flight of stairs before gravity took over and returned the ball to sender with added momentum. Luna was swept up before there was scarcely a moment to yelp as the ball of pony returned back at her, and back down they all rolled. Luna yelped into Sunbeam’s gut as she was bounced against the walls, and the group all crashed back to the ground floor of the Fortress of Friendship in a pile of pretzel’d pony. Woozily, she pumped a hoof into the air once they all stopped moving. “Victory!”
Moaning. Ah, right. Victory came after extraction, and boo-boo patching, also possibly apologies. The efforts took a bit, given the way they had all become entangled in a mess of hooves and wings; soon enough, though, they were all sitting across from one another upon the six-pointed star of harmony in the absolute center of the round reception hall.
Sunbeam was the first to break the awkward silence, chuckling ruefully as she realized how utterly stupid the whole affair had been. Twilight glared at her, until Sunbeam mimed their tumble and fall down the stairs in a bubble of magic, making a comical splash noise as the miming hoof clopped to the floor. Spike, sitting next to Luna, looked on with a grumpy glare as Twilight and Sunbeam giggled and made fun of the spell Luna had used, happily whispering to each other like mother and daughter conspiring to mad and marvelous ends. Or maybe it wasn’t his caretaker having fun, but instead his missing Rarity that day, or the part where he had been squished into the center of the pony-ball.
Luna warmly smiled at each in turn, feeling a warm and fuzzy feeling. Of course, it wanted to go away as she tried to figure out how to deal with ‘Sunbeam’ and explaining to Twilight that her mentor in disguise needed help without violating her probable wishes. ”It’s good to see you all.”
Pift-tinkle. A bit-bag dropped into Spike’s lap, teleported to him by his caretaker. “You know, I’ve kept you pretty late, Spike. I haven’t needed you so much for an hour or so.” Twilight nodded her head in the general direction of Rarity’s boutique for him suggestively. “Why don’t you go take Rarity for an ice cream sundae, maybe a Chocolate-Chocolate Chip-Chocoblaster to tempt her? She’ll appreciate it.” Twilight suggested, winking at him. “Ask her out for a walk, then lead her up to Sugar Cube Corner.” It wasn’t really a date, just a nice favor to help keep them together until he was old enough to really date her. Totally innocent, and not ruinous on Rarity’s figure to lead her on an adventure with Spike.
“Hey, she’s on a diet after all the victory celebrations!” He protested half-heartedly, remembering how she had been complaining about putting on a pound or two from the extra baking. Or three, maybe four. He didn’t want to lead her into temptation and upset her.
“Exactly.” Twilight snickered. “When she realizes, she’ll want to do some extra work like gem mining to burn it off, and there’ll be Spike the Dragon to save her day.” Twilight sushed him as he tried to say something, smiling deviously. Cadance had taught her well with her tricks she used on Shining Armor. “So you get to go with her as her own personal Shining Armor, and do all the work for her for extra gratitude.” Yeah, Cadance usually pulled an ‘exercise with you’ variant, but the alicorn of love had a few other strategies. Twilight put on a mix of her brother’s surfer accent and the gruff voice Spike used to pretend to be in his thirties. “Hang on, Rarity! Spike shall help you and be your savior!”
Spike blinked wide-eyed. “Wow. You’re twisted and evil, Twilight. I like it.” Every-pony jumped a little as Twilight cackled sinisterly. Picking up his ill-gotten gold, Spike rushed the door. “Hang on, Rarity, Sir Spike shall save you from your boredom!”
Her job of keeping Rarity and Spike together for another day done, Twilight wiped her fore-hooves against each other and smiled deviously as she watched Spike slip through the door. Following the short beam of light that shone through the open doorway for a moment, she was surprised to see her two guests hugging each other like sisters. Didn’t Luna only—hmm, Sunbeam must have been a deep influence on the lunar alicorn after the first Nightmare Night Fiasco. “Well, I guess I’ll just see myself back upstairs to do the rest of that paperwork and let you two be, then.” She whispered, getting up and backing away so as to not disturb the two friends; not that she got much farther than turning around before a magic grip around her barrel dragged her back.
“Come now, don’t be shy, Twilight. Sunbeam and I know one another well, but what is one more link of friendship between all three of us?” Luna chided warmly as she dragged Twilight back and swept her wing back over and around her to prevent escape. Sunbeam gargled quietly, possibly spluttering at the friendly gesture.
With a murr of a contented mare enjoying the company of her friends, Luna nuzzled Twilight’s ears until they folded flat and away from her. With a sad ear-twitch of her own, Luna pulled back from Twilight to praise her once more. “I must confess that I have done you a bit of an injustice. I have spent half as much time as I would like with you, and I truly know you only half as well as you halfway deserve.”
Counting on all four of her mental hooves, the mini-Twilight inside Twilight’s head fell over and gave up trying to figure it out after settling on Luna knowing her only a quarter as well as she should. “Um, alright, I think? So, you and Sunbeam really are close, then?”
“Sisterly. Sort of, but not really. In spirit.” Sunbeam stumbled through her words, patting Luna on the back with the leg she had draped over Luna’s Twilight-enfolding wing and missing the hurt look on her sister’s face through the expedience of staring at Twilight. “Though, I’m not certain why she came down to Ponyvile to visit, or why she’s, um, where did you get an outfit like that?” There was a dissonant confusion in Sunbeam’s voice as she looked over the lunar diarch and the embrace Luna had around Twilight. A dissonance almost uncaught; almost.
Applying a cantrip of prestidigitation to her apparel to cleanse and straighten it to a presentable state, Luna straightened proudly. “A custom suit from Rarity herself to impress those I wish and to assist in establishing a ruling identity for myself! After the chaos of my sister’s departure, every-pony at the castle and in the courts have been assuming to their error that I would react and rule much as she would. To their error.” Darkly did Luna whisper that last, resentful to a small degree that she was still mistaken for a shadow of her sister. Not that it would matter much.
Sunbeam suspiciously narrowed her eyes, glancing between Luna and Twilight. “Impressing, what like Twilight?” Said mare’s ears perked up as she blinked in confused recognition.
“Yes. Wait, no! Not the point!” Luna protested as she realized Sunbeam was trying to lead her, she was going to have none of that. “Impressing the ‘nobles’ and impressing into them that I will not follow the ad-hoc ruling method my sister had kludged together.” Luna hissed out sister slightly, carefully whipping her tail against Sunbeam’s back. “While their reactions have sometimes been amusing, most have been tiresome and time-consuming.” Luna continued, slumping down against Twilight in a way somewhat resembling the exhausted sag in her heart and head. She would be glad when things would settle down. “So, I have been altering my appearance, taking up habits would never attempt, and working on reducing the workload on myself so as to streamline the government. I had been expecting to take longer this morn with Rarity, but she is a true master of stitching.”
Well, Sunbeam was right to a degree. Twilight felt oddly giddy as she processed being once more pressed against the soft, silk-like fabric by the feathers of Luna’s wings and Sunbeam’s bulk. Sort of in the way she might feel upon first smelling the paper scents of an ancient library. Wait, no-focus, less impressions more analysis! “Chaos? I thought that P- Celestia had established a proper plan of succession for you.”
Pausing, Twilight had a sudden suspicion as to why ponies were coming down to her. Annoying busybodies getting in her way unscheduled. “Every-pony keeps saying that she diverted a portion of her paperwork and authority to me. Or, that’s what all the court ponies keep saying when they come down here and demand that I put down my work to hear them.” She complained, teleporting an annoyingly tall stack of paperwork to them that had been gathered from all the ponies who had come to try and barge into her home and get her rubber-stamp. “I keep telling them that I haven’t gotten any paper-“
“She did not.” Luna snapped, realizing that some-pony had been trying to pull one over on both of them. That would explain the unusually light number of ponies at court, especially the ones who didn’t like her much. “My sister’s ‘plan of succession’ was to pass everything to me while she cut and run. Granted, I told her to run in the end while I was being slathered in maple syrup, but that’s beside the point.”
Chuckling nervously to cut her ‘sovereign’ off, Sunbeam waved a hoof and pressed Twilight into Luna a bit more to distract her and make the little alicorn focus on Luna’s frame instead. No need for any more discussion, no, not at all. “She probably thought every-pony would be reasonable and go along peacefully with the transition. You know, use their heads and ask you instead of every-pony losing their minds. She wasn’t all that important to the country anyway.”
As Twilight gasped a little at the depreciation, Sunbeam wondered if she had gone too far. “I mean, yes, she did make some decisions, but she delegated most of the work and stayed on top of things as she had every-pony running like clockwork!” It couldn’t have been that bad, she even had time for Twilight all the time!
“Aye, I suppose it could be called ‘clockwork’ if you call ‘running herself into the ground’ as such.” Luna grumbled loudly, mining a pegasus nose-diving into the ground with her counter-balance wing. When Twilight uncertainly looked at each of them with hurt eyes, Luna felt a pang of her own hurt in her gut. No, don’t get distracted, jab the truth home and twist! “I had a talk with some—what are they called, mental health specialists, yes, them. I had a talk, and discussed my dear sister with them. They suggested that her departure may have been the first stage of a mental break from overwork.” Her wing reached across her so it could be poked deeply into Sunbeam’s extensive gut.
Struggling in the embrace of Luna’s wing, Twilight twisted around to look Luna in the eye and come to her mentor’s defense. “Celestia was just fine! She was a rock for every-pony in Equestria, including me! She was perfectly fine, especially in the head.” It was ridiculous! Preposterous! She had been busy, yeah. But she had a tight schedule she needed to stick to on most days to rule Equestria properly; so what if being ‘ahead of schedule’ meant minutes and seconds instead of hours? Wait-, okay, maybe that was a little unhealthy even by her standards. “Alright, her scheduling might have been kind of really excessive.”
Nodding, Luna uncurled the wing she had wrapped around Twilight and elbowed Sunbeam in the gut with it hard enough to make her guff in pain. “Aye, that was the first thing I noticed as well after I got back. Her old seneschal Kibitz meant well, but I fear his –method- was the final straw that exasperated the bad habits she picked up over the past thousand years. Between you, I, Cadance, the troubles of the past four years, I fear that she just had too much to deal with.”
Sunbeam whuffed in surprise as she was interrupted from rubbing the pinkening patch on her belly by Luna’s wing reaching up around her neck and pulling her tight to sandwich Twilight between them. Mournfully, Luna confessed her own sins, a tiny tear non-chalantly finding itself wiped away when no-pony was looking. “And I let her down; too busy reforming my night guard to serve the needs of the modern day, too busy catching up with the times to catch up with my sister, too busy to see but in retrospect how she was starting to hurt just as I did before my fall. I rarely took enough time to meet with her, and I failed her to have let it get as far as it has.”
“No you didn’t.” Twilight countered, wriggling out from between the two to flop on the floor from the force of her final wriggle. Getting up again, she dusted off at looked Luna in the eyes. “Celestia did say she was only taking a few years. She’s not outright banished, she just needs a friend to help her.” She didn’t notice the puckering of Sunbeam’s muzzle as she paused, then shot a glance up to her make-shift office. “So, I can trash all that paperwork since it’s all from fake appointments?”
“Yes. I suppose, if you want. But perhaps, if you’re willing to help me we could schedule some of the cases to be seen by you. Maybe even transfer a portion of my power to you so that you could assist me in ruling so I don’t fall prey as my sister did?” Luna fished for a response suggestively, elbowing Sunbeam surreptitiously several times more. Twilight’s ear fell, then perked back up as she thought the proposition through, her eyes gleaming.
“Me? I know I’m an alicorn, and sort of a princess of friendship, but I don’t think I’m really actually qualified for it.”
Luna hesitated, remembering Redcoat’s advice, and how Captain Resistance had warned against him. And yet, was it not sound? “Well, you do have a ‘throney-council’ chamber, don’t you? And, I know your mentor trained you in several of her organizational techniques. And, you do have a circle of friends to help advise you on certain issues of judgment, don’t you?” Her smile grew bright once again as Twilight nodded and started seriously considering it. “I would think my sister would be proud to see you helping me.” Luna elbowed Sunbeam again, right in a developing tender spot. “Wouldn’t you agree?
“Yes, yes!” Sunbeam groaned, rubbing the tender spot as she tried to figure out what Luna was up to.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Twilight centered herself and straightened up, bowing her head to Luna in acceptance. “Princess Luna, I’d be honored to help you.” She looked up again with a new fire in her eyes; there was a bit of the mare who had saved her and dove into Tartarus time and time again for nothing more than a just cause And a bit of uncertainty, but who wouldn’t be? “I, uh, might need a bit of training on parts of the government, though.”
“Well, are you free tonight? As I’ve said, I have the rest of the day off from royal business. I know you’re busy at the moment, but perhaps this evening we could work out a few things?”
“Uh, sure! Um, can I get Spike to do the cooking, if you’re interested? Princess Celestia and the royal chefs taught him some things. And we can find the astronomy tower while we’re at it?” Twilight hesitantly suggested, brushing at the back of her mane. “It shouldn’t take more than an hour or two to get done with Sunbeam’s paperwork if we hurry.” Sunbeam wilted, she didn’t want to do more paperwork than her mass in cupcakes. Mmm.
“I shall set the time!” Luna proclaimed as her flare for the dramatic got the best of her. The windows all creaked ajar and let in a cold wind as Luna posed dramatically on her hind hooves with her fore-hooves stretched to the skies and wings outstretched. Sheepishly, she realized what she had done and sat back down, looking between Twilight and Sunbeam who were bemusedly watching. “Uh, well. It will give me time to coordinate with the guards and the secret service of the castle to arrange for you to receive a detachment. Captain Bubbles has agreed to your suggestion, so I will likely have him head up the guards.” Frowning, Luna realized that she had forgotten to check something. “Perchance, have you heard of a ‘game of scrubs’?”
“No. Uh, it’s not some book or film serial series, is it?”
“My sister’s maids, who are apparently the secret service, used to chase my sister down in olden times when she tried to shirk her duties, catching her and dragging her back kicking and screaming from the tales. From what I understand, Cadenza took over the service sometime before your tutorship and—ahem—beat sister so hard at it that she just gave up entirely.” Luna took a hoof up to her face, straightening out her bangs when she realized they were out of place. “Just a fair warning, then. I’m talking with them about it, and I’ll see that they discuss them with you and abide by your decision.”
Quietly, she leaned over into Sunbeam’s side. “Maybe she should have taken her ‘games’ as a forewarning of her stress.”
“What?”
“Well, when you have to be chased to work, it might be a sign that it’s time to find new work. I’ve straightened their expectations. I’m just giving you warning in case they wish to start a new tradition here.” Luna explained to Twilight, pointedly avoiding even looking at Sunbeam. She shooed Twilight with a hoof gesture, wiping away the tired grimace she had adopted in favor of a warm smile. “Go on, your aid needs her aid. I’ll let her along shortly. I just need to catch up with her on a few things.”
The secret sisters watched as Twilight flushed with blushing, then bounded and scurried up the stairs peculiarly, with a giggle that seemed more at home with Pinkie. When she was almost certainly out of hearing and an extra floor up, Luna opened her mouth and took a breath to berate her sister for still leading Twilight on when Sunbeam turned her head over and rubbed Luna’s side with an ear and her invisible horn as she sing-songed teasingly. “Some-pony has a date!” Sunbeam smiled widely, happy that her sister had found a love of sorts, and that she had delivered blackmail material right into her lap as she teased.
“What? What are you blathering on about?” Luna asked, shifting over a little so Sunbeam couldn’t get away with it.
“Oh, an exciting evening rendezvous so that you can have a shared dinner while smartly dressed before discussing mutual interests while going on a treasure hunt. Oh, doesn’t that sound so interesting?” Sunbeam mocked, not minding that much that her sister was asking out Twilight, even if by accident. She turned herself right way up again, sticking her tongue out at her sister playfully with a raspberry sound. “All under the stars, all alone where no-pony can see you two get into mischief.”
Fine. Was she going to play that game? Two could play it. “Well, I suppose it would have to be me.” She reached over, tenderly pressing her hoof into the exposed belly up over its ankle. “It would have to be me, other ponies would be too afraid to eat you. They’d be too afraid that your gut might eat them.”
Scowl. “Why you-“
Luna laughed, grabbing her sister’s wing and pretending to make it talk. “Rwawr! Feed me!” She mimed, making adorable munching noised until Sunbeam pulled out of her grasp. “Come, come now. I knew you were using an illusion back in Canterlot to hide something, but you really have let yourself go. Then again, it would make sense, giving Twilight more to cuddle.”
Sunbeam, still scowling, knew she had to turn the tides. “What, like you? What’s with your mane cut? Did you not wash it again? I know you were upset after you accidentally developed that sentient race somewhere in it and it started getting eaten by that black star the last time.” Going for the low blow, she returned all of Luna’s pokes and elbows, prodding the dark alicorn’s extremely thin and taut belly several times with force. “Or did you eat it in your sleep because you’re so hungry from your diet?”
“Hah! At least I don’t stress eat while getting dragged to work kicking and screaming by the maids! Thanks so much for forgetting to mention that.”
“Hey, they probably wanted some fun!”
“Hardly. Quite a few surprises you conveniently forgot to mention to me. I know it probably genuinely slipped your mind in the rush, but you should have at least sent some notes.” Luna scolded, rolling her eyes. “Besides, they haven’t done it in thirty years. Something about Cadenza completely and utterly whupping your tail?”
“What? No, no she didn’t!”
“I have her test scores from her own time in the royal guard. Rather interesting, they are. Oddly suspicious how she seemed to disappear at times, makes me wonder what you’ve had her up to.” Luna prodded; verbally, not physically, of course. Sunbeam was pink enough as it was from the ribbing. Any more and some-pony might drag her down to Pinkie’s infernal workshop of sugary sweetness in a case of mistaken identity.
“Not that much. I was kind of busy keeping the country running instead of paying attention to her world travels.” Sunbeam confessed.
Setup achieved, Luna pounced for the kill. “So busy you ate cake instead of food, and counting eating as exercise?” Okay, that was pretty harsh, tone it down, and use the tact to guide her to help. “Seriously, sister. Twilight won’t betray you if you tell her who you are. I can’t force you to, and I won’t go and spoil her myself. But you need to stop pushing help away. Others can handle the load just as you can. Trust me. That’s why I got Twilight to help me.”
“Twilight’s fine without knowing, Luna. She could use her time with her ‘old mentor’. Treat her well, okay?”
“It’s not a date!”
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Twiluna shipping. If this actually ends up happening I will be so happy. But if not, oh well.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
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"If".
*Looks up. Sees Romance Tag.*
"If"
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I don't recall that being there.
There be no brakes on the princest train.
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*Grumbles ineffectually about shipping getting in the way of his OP CMC, then continues reading anyway.*
anypony
[Compound word like anyone, everything, somepony /someone].
hard pressed is an idiom, and doesn't get connected by an en dash. Which is the wrong use for an en dash anyways.
_________________
[Look at above link for proper use of en dash].
Winghug is either a one word compound word. Or is two seperate words (I've seen it used both ways).
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A two word word. Not appropriate use of en dash.
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Stopped there for the moment. Can you please drop me a line when you've gone through and removed the en dashes? It's kind of hard to get into the flow of the story when I have to stop every five seconds to copy, paste a line. Bold the word, and give a fix. Seriously though. Either two words, compound word, but there are no en dashes. I have no idea where the sudden slew of these buggers came from.
Technically the Em Dashes where you broke off the paragraph temporarily to talk about Celestia not giving Twilight winghugs. That's good. Breaking a word with those is not. Anywho, I can't wait to read the fixed up chapter.
Hmmm sneaky author slipping in a Moonlight-Sparkle ship. Interesting.....
I see references to other stories in this chapter, namely Luna, There's a Sentient Race Inside Your Mane and the Cadance of Cloudsdale saga.
Really not a fan of TwiLuna but I'll try to ignore it.
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Err, those have been around. For a while now (like at least 3 months). You're just having an issue with them now? Seriously, just ignore them, because as far as I've been locally taught that's the correct usage and I'm not about to change it.
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It'll be kind of heavy in spots, but it has a use. Besides, you'll also get Maclestia soon enough.
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It was slightly ignorance as any-one. Since they were spaced out (as in not all that often used). But words like head tilt, hard pressed, wing hug, etc. That's not how, or where en dashes are for and really bring it to attention (two word compound words (open compound words. They aren't one word. At all.). You should tell your teacher to open a book.
Like. Seriously. Of course most of those words can even be open compound words. And are what you find in all fics / writen words (both at this site and in books. Any books.). How many books have you read where compound words were hyphenated?
And I'm pretty sure I pointed them out before. They just didnt get changed. Or they were innocuous to get glanced over.
Twilight likes suits? Makes sense to me.
And so several of the major players come together, and Luna gets a chance to vent at the one responsible for her current predicament. Of course, Celestia has suffered at her own hoof as well, but still, kinda left the entire country in the lurch there, Tia.
Most entertaining, this one. Definitely looking forward to the not-a-date. Especially since there's at least a fifty percent chance of Crusaders involvement.
Loved the update keep up the great work!
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Seriously though. In any scientific journal, history book, works of fantasy or fiction, encylopedias, even stories on this site. When have you ever read a compound word / open compound word with an en dash in it? Even religious texts, or ancient epic sagas / Satyres don't do that, and they're older than dirt.
edit:
As for the last three months. I go through phases before Ire-read a fic, where Imight not catch all the errors / think that they just haven't been edited yet. And usually tear into a story in my second to third read through. And with the last 3 months me being mostly dead on my feet before I read fics on this site with IRL. I probably over looked it. But yeah, it's also a bad idea to change writing styles mid-fic. It recks consistencey for those who read all the way through rather than wait for updates.
5729406
Minimum chance of Crusaders, high chance of:
"Sparkle, you magnificent mare, I've read her BOOK!" *Scrunchy face.*
That there is such a thing as Princess Cadance's Big Book of War and Love is a rather silly thing.
too afraid to eat you
to eat you
wut.
5729967
When a girl is loved very much, instead of inserting tab A into slot B, she may instead receive 'duster' or 'manual cleaning appendage c' instead. Luna just made a dirty joke I'm not explaining further because 'E' story and it would stop being funny.
5729790
Hmm. 'If', 'if' is good.
No, maybe. Yes, also 'outlook is cloudy' and 'try again later'.
This trolling thing is really fun.
5729989
Oh. Ok. I was thinking literally and wondering if Celestia was offering her biceps to eat.
I don't know which ship I want to see more SunLight or TwiLuna ...
TwiLunEstia is kinda .. pervy but still ...
Is the reason why they can't get their cutie marks the same reason why Sea Ponies and Bat Ponies can't? They have too much chaos in them or Discord has affected them somehow?
hooooo boi.
I'm either really tired, or half the time this chapter made no sense.
I think it's the later...
5708282 N.I.M.H.? ;)
5745245
They're gonna need a lot more adults before it's all over.
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to read your story for a while. I mean oxford dictionary Anyone [anypony], anything [as well as everything], as one word compound words. I guess that I'm so use to seeing them as one word that it bugs me now that I see it.
And the words that get hyphenated that aren't compound words, at least or most would normally be two words. Now that Isee it, and I know it wasn't you making a grammar error that your editor would correct when (s)he got around to it. I'm temporarily going to just leave this story for a few months. Then re-read it from the beginning. Although (unless you changed the early chapters to be as off as these later ones), I'll probably throw out corrections for all those as well when the fic changes writing styles (Although while head tilt is not a compund word, I will make a small retraction by saying that the dictionary does list a few words as hyphenated, but consult a dictionary before hyphenatng compound words that don't need them since not every compound word has an en dash. Most infact do not.).
Anywho. I'll get to this when I forget about this fic, and re-read it to learn what happened. And yes, a stylistic choice like that now that I can see them, and as over used as they were in this chapter (seriously head tilt isn't a compound word. Wing hug similarly enough, is a grey area. But is one of the words that does not get one (If head tilt doesn't in the dictionary neither would that.). Just ropping a line since Isaid I would get to to this chapter. And I will eventually, but months rather than a week.
Sorry.
Wait. So we have a council; made up of Twilight and company, we have Luna stepping into power, we have the CMC turning big business and possibly building an air tank... This is starting to sound like Fallout Equestria all over again. XD
YOU DIDN'T.
And so now, 55 chapters in, we FINALLY get to the Romance tag. Took bloody long enough!
*half fumes as he keeps reading*
As much as I like your story, you really need an editor.
I don't think twilight can keep the truth. She has practically worship the ground Celestia walked on and ignored anything that said that she wasn't perfect.