• Published 27th Apr 2014
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How Hard Could it Be? - Richardson



The Cutie Mark Crusaders need a Tutor, Celestia Needs a Vacation, and Luna needs some Respect. How Hard Could it Be?

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3.Tea

Author's Note:

LOOK OUT, CHAPTER COMING FROM BELOW!

3.Tea

Despite the tension twisting in the air, Luna remained calm in the face of her sister’s political nemesis. The Duke of Whinneypeg, Redcoat, a mad stallion who had caused more than one political crisis while trying to get ahead in the world. Captain Resistance stood stiffly at her side, clearly far more uncomfortable in the presence of the stallion he so desperately wished to arrest and throw to Tartarus where he could annoy Tirek instead. Luna poked Resistance just behind his armor with a wing, calming the fidgeting stallion as she sipped her tea stoically.

Redcoat, an aging stallion, was so named for the blazing red coat of fur and the fiery cropped mane atop his head that was swirled with the colors of a roaring fire, a fire from the sun he often claimed never set upon Equestria. The fine silver of their tea set clacked lightly as it was held in his magic, pouring a second mug for himself as he sat directly across from Luna, and the raw envy of her casual power glinted in his forest green eyes. It was a feeling of hungry want that Luna had become far too used to since her return; and the ugly feeling was fueled further by the unfathomable arrogance of the stained glass window behind Redcoat, which depicted him ‘saving’ Equestria with sword and shield in hoof as he stood above all the races that surrounded the nation.

Oh, they had exchanged pleasantries; if the terse exchange of words and clipped offer of tea could be called ‘pleasant’. The decency of his offer to meet with her was at least a breath of fresh air compared to the false kow-towing and blundering delays of most of his counterparts. Redcoat swirled his tea in relative silence, observing the spirals of foam as he stewed in his elongated calm before the storm. “I can assume relatively correctly that you are concerned about the contents of my letter to you in the wake of Tirek’s rampage.”

Catlike was her smile, predatory and gleaming with teeth as she waited for an opening to figuratively go for the jugular. “Aye, you know me well.” She sipped much more of her cup, swallowing it down with an obnoxious slurp. Zebrican rooibos mixed with spice and ginger. It seemed Redcoat preferred everything with a hint of fire. “I am displeased with the wording within it, and the implications therin.”

His throat rumbling with a sigh of frustration, Redcoat took a quick sip of his tea and set down his cup with a clatter. “I was afraid you would take things the wrong way.” Flourishes of his magic removed the tea set and its scalding contents to the safety of the wait table by the servant’s door, where it could not be accidentally flipped onto somepony.

With a twitch of the thick, bushy mustache above his lips, he set his elbows up upon the table, folding his forelegs to prop his chin up on his hooves. “So, how have I grieved you, m’lady? I endeavored to remain unthreatening in my concerns.”

“Implications that my sister would be better off staying removed from the throne could hardly be broached, as ‘concerns,’ Duke Redcoat. I find it hard to see any other intent other than a mild threat against my authority. I have come for answers as to why you would so brazenly speak while praising me with your other hoof.” Luna’s voice rumbled like distant thunder upon the plains as she glared across the color-stained tabletop. Her unspoken ‘or else’ hung in the air far more plainly than the cagey wording of the Duke’s letter as she forcefully held her mane still rather than let it whip about as If in a gale wind.

The groan he had previously contained valiantly finally escaped Redcoat as the statespony considered his options to escape the trap he had accidentally laid for himself. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he noted his maid picking up the tea pot to be taken back to the kitchen. “When you are done, Miss Spic, tell everypony to take an hour or two off and outside the manor, would you?”

Stepping to it with a slight whimper of worry for her employer, the maid nodded and rushed the pot out.

Redcoat gave her a minute, calmly waiting as Princess Luna fumed, starting again only when he heard the exaggerated slam at the end of the hall. “Well, at no point did I ever suggest seizing power, Princess. My concerns with allowing your sister back to the throne are twofold, and should be familiar enough to you. I don’t intend malice when I say that I believe that it would be against everypony’s best interests to allow her back anytime soon.” He took another sip of tea as he waited for Luna’s next move, and considered bringing forth an actual chess board to play upon, despite the cliché nature.

“Do please, enlighten me.”

“I grew up beneath her rule, and admired her greatly for the immense strain and workload she put herself under. Though I butted heads with her often over the future course of our nation, I would never go against her, or you.” Redcoat lifted his mug with an application of his magic, sipping lightly from it before continuing.

Luna sat back somewhat, determined to try and stay pleasant. “Aye. To firmly go against myself or my sister would require that you have a spine instead of a segmented carapace that allows you to squeeze under doors or through cracks in the wall.” Stupid mouth, this meeting was supposed to reduce tensions, not passive-aggressively insult him. She elbowed Resistance as the guard chuckled lightly at her verbal jab; his egging her on was the last thing she needed.

To her surprise, Redcoat laughed loudly after a moment, clutching his side as he uproariously laughed.

“I wasn’t attempting to be amusing.”

Shaking his head, Redcoat waived off her concerns. He had been rather slippery in his younger years, like an eel covered in lard. “No, no. I consider it no insult. It’s rather refreshing to deal with somepony who is so honest instead of the layers of meanings I dealt with from your sister and my peers.” He chortled and took another sip of his tea to calm himself. “My roach-like tendencies aside, I do mean I when I proclaim my utter patriotism and loyalty to the crown and lands, which is why I bring these concerns up.”

He set his mug back down, fidgeting his legs ever so slightly against the thick pile carpet beneath him. “My concerns for Princess Celestia are two-fold, in her mental health and her political and situational flexibility.” He summoned a stack of papers from the small indoor flower box on the wall, sorting them lightly as he presented them to Luna.

“Her mental health? My sister is many things, but in danger of losing her mind is not one of them.” Luna snapped lightly before reigning herself in. She made a mental note to get some help from dear Fluttershy on her temper again. “I assume this is your case concerning your first matter?”

“That, and some of the second. Over the past few years, I have noted a remarkable change in her attitudes and policies compared to those she committed to in my youth. I had several psychologists construct a profile based on the changes, and most agree that she shows signs of mental and emotional burnout.” He sipped once more as Luna’s face twitched and tweaked through a variety of emotions as she studied through the simplified reports. “I won’t say that this burnout is your fault or mine, though I will admit that I likely contributed in my ill-spent youth, and the hectic affairs of your return likely contributed.”

“Burnout.”

“Yes, mi’lady.”

“Celestia.”

“Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, myself, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Blueblood, a thousand years of tight management of a country compounded by accelerating times driving into her schedule. I could go on—but I believe I have established my point clearly.” Redcoat concluded, sipping his tea once more. The rustle of the papers as Luna sorted through them, skimming the brief overviews. “She manages as if it was still an earlier time, instead of the fast pace common today, and in doing so has slowly worn away the time available to unwind herself. Her ragged mental state is likely the cause of several of her recent, and suboptimal, choices.”

Luna held her tongue as she inspected, mentally ticking off the warning signs in her head that the various psychologists noted would be final indicators. Far too many fit. The release of Discord was a particularly bone-headed move that she still considered to be her sister’s most lacking moment. That he had ended up saving them by providing Twilight with the final puzzle piece was just about Harmonic Providence, it could have easily turned out far worse. “”I will concede several of these points. I do not agree with their entire reasoning, but I have seen enough to roughly agree. Now, as for your second point, what exactly do you mean?”

Redcoat set his mug down, resting his chin on his hooves once more as he prepared for the argumentative assault. “She is the relic of a bygone time, much as you were when you first returned. Her pace and stress has reduced the time she has to keep up with the current state of the world and change with it until she became inflexible and too enamored with her own master plan without rechecking it to see if it still fits the circumstances.” He twitched his mustache once more, waiting for Luna to say something or object.

A single eyebrow raised to question him as Luna held her tongue, nearly biting the inside of her lips as she waited for him to get on with it. No clue where he was headed, but the stallion had made a point so far to be reasonable.

“Under your sister, we have grown too complacent, too enraptured with our harmony and peace to ensure that we have kept up with the times. Your sister did well, meant well, and generally pushed Equestria to the forefront of the world in her golden ages, but no longer. We have competitors for the title of most powerful nation, from Canidia to the Griffon Middle Kingdoms. Couple a complacent outlook with somepony who is closer than she thinks to a breakdown, and the coming fall was plain to see before.”

Luna snorted. “And so you wish to replace my sister with me on a more permanent basis.”

Nodding, Redcoat continued. “Exactly! Because you are not so self-assured as your sister. You had to forcibly adapt yourself to the times, growing close to the modern pony and their plights.” The bushiness of his mustache hid the sly curls developing at the corners of his mouth as he reeled Luna in. “Given that you understand the current situation, and have placed yourself in a mindset more befitting current circumstances. I believe that her passing the throne to you is her conscious realization of her issues; it would be foolish to simply let her back anytime soon until she has returned herself to a healthy mental state and caught up with the modern pony once more.”

Mirroring his pose, Luna leaned forward, letting the light from the bulbs in the vaulted ceiling arches reflect from her silvery shoes. “So you attempt to manipulate me into forcibly keeping her away?”

“What? No!” Redcoat protested before he buried his face in his hooves and muffledly continued. “I didn’t intend any manipulation at all.” Raising up once more, he looked Luna in the eyes. “Your willingness and ability to improvise, and your boldness is exactly what this country needs in its transition. The last thing we need is for a dispute between yourself and your sister through some insanity of trying to force her away or other such nonsense. We need somepony who proactively solves problems instead of relying on convoluted solutions pre-created and running along for a thousand years.”

Captain Resistance bristled beside Luna at the particularly disparaging remarks from Redcoat, taking offense on his mistress’s behalf. “The princess’s solutions have worked for a thousand years! She refined them to be exactly what Is needed for every situation!”

Redcoat calmly wiped the spittle from Resistance’s near-snarl from his face calmly with one of the pale blue dinner cloths at the table. “Captain, you should remember well and more than any of us that past performance does not equate to future success.”

Coughing into her hoof heavily to gather their attention back to her, Luna calmly pushed Resistance back and passed him another of the cloths, which she uneasily noted had her cutie mark upon them. “So, to relieve my sister you chose me, instead of the proven rule of Cadance, or my sister’s student.”

Redcoat chuckled once more, as he considered the absurdity of gathering Cadance up from her Empire or trying to draw Twilight out of Ponyvile. Though, the idea of crashing most of the nobility down around himself by dragging everypony out to that former backwater did appear oddly to him. The clash would have been legendary. No matter.

Reaching out with his magic, Redcoat withdrew a page-sized photo from the last Ponyvile Summer Wrap-up from another folder on the other side of the room. “As said, formerly out of date. Your exploits in acquainting yourself with modern society are swiftly becoming popular with the common pony, in addition to your work in taming the wilds and your touch in calming nightmares in the dreamscape.”

He passed the glossy photo over to Luna, smirking in mirth as she squirmed at the still image of her kissing a rather reluctant red apple farmer for his success in helping her to win most of the fair’s competitions. “As I said, a rather remarkable success in connecting with the common pony.”
Luna’s baleful glare would have likely petrified a cockatrice as she growled low in her throat. “Explain.”

“The photo? I believe it is from one of our bodyguard details.” Resistance slowly squirmed and wriggled away from Luna as she turned her glare on him. “One of our undercover agents took it for publicity purposes. To, uh—make you seem even more approachable?” Captain Resistance squeaked as Luna’s scowl deepened to seemingly impossible levels while she glared at the photo.

Slowly, she rolled her head around; her bangs framed her face lightly with the sinister light of a lunar eclipse as she slowly furrowed her eyebrows in disappointment. “Et, tu?”

“It’s our job to watch you and your sister at all times?”

Redcoat nodded once more, rapping his hoof on the zebrican ironwood of the table. “The approachability you have, your sister lost. With her business and lack of time to be seen as just another mare, her immortality and her link to the sun made her seem less like any other mare, and more as a bit of divinity. She became seen as more of a god, and a symbol of harmony’s favor.” Redcoat uncomfortably explained to Luna, helping to fill in the discomfort the world shared concerning Celestia.

Luna knew what he was speaking of, having seen far too many dreams of a nature she felt too uncomfortable to discuss with her sister. She continued for him, seeing where he was going with it. “And since she is seen as a goddess instead of a mare, ponies become less willing to connect with her, less willing to tell her no and tell her how she is wrong. The other nations begin to fear her instead of talking to her.”

“Compounded by and compounding her own internal issues, and you begin to see why I would rather that you convince her to stay away for a much longer time to deal with herself.”

Pursing her lips as she slowly dragged Resistance back to her side, Luna considered carefully all the evidence she had been presented with. Celestia had run so eagerly from her job, and she had run to her student so rapidly to be with her without the trappings of her office. Had she known? Did it matter? “Duke Redcoat, I thank you for bringing these issues to my attention. I would ask that in the future, you use a bit more—tact—in presenting these concerns, however.”

“Thank you for not assuming the worst of me all the time, as so many others do. I am a patriot, not a fool. A power struggle would have been the worst possible thing for Equestria, and your sister’s willing abdication is possibly a boon beyond our wildest measures.” Redcoat stood from his place, and gestured for Luna to follow him to the nearby clear window.

She reluctantly did, joining Redcoat at the small booth there. The overlook took in the view of Canterlot framed by the setting sun, out to the distant rolling hills of the Canter Plains beyond as they were stained by the sunset and the coming of the full moon. She had to ask to get it out of the way. “Duke Redcoat, will you declare your unconditional support for me, and never cross me or my interests?”

“I am offended that you even had to ask.” Redcoat complained as he turned about to face her once more. The short, stocky stallion barely came up to the top of her shoulders at the tip of his horn. “Yes. As I said, I have no interest in rifting the government at this critical moment.”

“Very well. I must take my leave to handle the celestial affairs. It would do you well to publically affirm your loyalty tomorrow in court.” Luna excused herself and idly suggested as she felt the stirrings of the sun and moon as they prepared to turn over the cycle once more. With her sister in hiding, Luna had taken over more of Celestia’s position in raising and setting the celestial bodies, despite her sister’s best efforts.

“So I shall. Fair thee well until the ‘morrow.”

Waiting until she and Resistance left the room and were well on their way out of the manor, she finally consulted her sister’s champion in what little privacy she could find. “Your opinion, captain. You have dealt with him more than I. Sincerity, or merely more plotting?”

Resistance shook his head as he briskly trotted to keep up with Luna’s long, languid strides. “I can’t say.” The odd furnishings of the hall loomed over the pair as they headed for the front doors; a mix of paintings, statuary, and trophies dedicated as tributes to the estate’s owner and his bloodline. “With Prince Blueblood, the intent is always as clear as day, even if he is a boorish ass. But Duke Redcoat—I can’t say. He’s as shifty, mad, and makes about as much sense as a sack of cats.”

“An odd metaphor.”

“Ask your sister about his exploits from before your return. Particularly his old attempts to woo Twilight Sparkle before she left for Ponyvile. He only stopped with her ascension, really, when she became politically untouchable.” Captain Resistance enlightened as Tiberius slowly withdrew the cloak of shadows from about his tiny fuzzy form on the captain’s back. “He is correct that Princess Celestia could keep him at bay by her mere presence.”

“What of his claims to seek Equestria’s best intrests?” Luna asked as Tiberius hopped from the captain’s back to her own shoulders deftly as they passed through a particularly dark archway. The shadow possum shimmied his way through her ethereal mane to hop to the top of her head as they walked into the ‘Arc of Equestria’, a grandiose quarter-arc of hallway lined from floor to arched ceiling with windows that let the pedestrians within it see out across the heartlands of Equestria.

Resistance grumbled with frustration as he remembered some of the things said in the past. “It has always been one of the Duke’s goals to see Equestria strengthened, no matter what despicable act is required.”

Luna frowned in thought as Tiberius leaned forward and made her bow beneath his tubby weight. She sighed as her head rocked from side to side as he swung himself from her horn by his tail and licked her face. “Bleagh, ugh, Tibbles! You need more fruit, less bugs. And more exercise. Could you be a dear and do some investigation? Check the duke’s correspondence and documents to make sure he was telling the truth and is not plotting behind my back.”

Squeak-dook?

“Yes, you can plunder his fruit if you wish. Just don’t get caught.”

Salute. Squeak-squeak-Squee!