• Published 27th Apr 2014
  • 795 Views, 23 Comments

Friendship Harder: Collected Microfiction - KwirkyJ



Collection of stories too short to publish individually. There is ostensibly no consistent underlying theme.

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One Fine Day [Comedy, Drama]

One fine day in the magical land of Equestria, Princess Twilight was giving up.

“Spike? Spike!” Twilight dashed into the library, the door bursting wide. “Spiiiike!”

“Mmphr,” came a voice behind the door.

Twilight was already halfway to the bookshelves. “Spike, stop hiding. I need you to help me look for something. I’ll start in biographies, you’ll get mare’s tales and other anecdotal entries, and we’ll meet in the historical reference if we don’t find anything.”

Spike peeled himself from the wall and re-inflated himself with a few gasping breaths, waddling over with unsteady legs. “And… and what are we… looking for?”

“Hm? Oh! That. Nightmare Moon. Or Sombra.”

Spike livened up. “Right away! Is something wrong? Where are the others?”

Twilight mumbled something, glowering at a string of books floating past her.

“Didn’t quite get that. What’s up?”

“They don’t matter. Just keep looking.”

Spike paused, a few small tomes in his claws, lifted an eyebrow. “Oooookay.” When she didn’t respond he slowly resumed his assigned task, listening to her murmur.

“Of all the… dumb… stupid… I’ll show them. Show them all. …not fair.”

Suddenly louder, Twilight ordered, “Spike, take a letter. I need the Canterlot Archives to look for me, too. It can’t wait.”

“Uh, sure?”

“To whom it may concern. Write that down, Spike. To whom it may concern, I require all available materials on the Nightmare Moon incident, former, and all reports on King Sombra in the Crystal Kingdom and the practice and nature of dark magic. Additionally, any references pertaining to star or blood pacts. By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“…star or blood.…” Spike paused, blinked.

“Just write it, Spike.”

The look brooked no argument, so he did, and promptly belched it away.

Twilight quickly turned back to her books.

“So….” Spike ventured, “Sombra?”

“If you’re worried about dark magic, you needn’t. He was evil to begin with. Completely different!”

“R-right. Look, do you wanna talk about—”

“If you’re going to say star or blood pacts, yes. Anything else, not so much. Now. Anecdotes. Nightmare Moon. Go.”

“Twilight, you’re freaking me out.”

Her gaze abated. “I know. But I have to do this. I can appreciate why Luna did what she did. She was unnecessary. Is unnecessary, just like me. A millennium without any other rule, and Equestria did just fine. There is no reason for me to be a princess, and it’s not fair that I became one, and it’s not fair what ponies ask me to do as that princess.” She took a steadying breath. “No. No more.”

“You remember the mess with the Tantabus, right?”

“That was Luna’s magic. Again, completely different.”

“Wanna… find Discord? He might be able to help.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

There was a knock on the door. Both turned towards it, one in eager relief, the other approaching shock.

After a glance towards the elder sister of his heart, Spike went to answer.

“Hello?”

“GOOD DAY! WE WISH TO SPEAK WITH TWILIGHT SPARKLE.”

Spike took a beat to straighten his spines.

“Sure, Princess Luna. I, uh, guess you got the scroll?”

“INDEED, AND WE WERE MOST DISTURBED. MIGHT WE ENTER?”

“Uh, sure. And, princess? It’s a library.”

“WHAT DOST—Ah. Verily.”

Twilight had yet to move.

“Twilight,” said Luna, steadily closing the distance, “be not so alarmed. We wish thee only well…” Her horn lit, and seemed to struggle for a moment. “How dost thy friend… Ah!”

From within her mane, Luna extracted a small cake and a box, a gentle, cautious smile forming on her lips.

“We—I—thought thou mightst desire a confection and company, with embellishment of delightful weather, clear air, and a new game to play.”

Twilight’s mouth worked, but any words were held captive.

“Celestia informs me you have never played. Neighponese, ‘Shogi,’ they call it. Almost but not quite precisely unlike chess.”

“I… I…”

“The cake is chocolate-raspberry marble.”

Author's Note:

I couldn't and still can't in good conscience insert a joke about 'cigarette pacts…' #FirstWorldProblems

Originally written for Legacy Prompt 52.

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