• Member Since 20th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Ferrum Requiem


T

Neil was a High school student with a natural passion in stone age history, namely that of cavemen and their escapades. Despite his interest in early man's history, Neil lived an unexceptional life. He spent his days in personal research, or hanging out with his best and only friend, Trisha. He was a single child with no practical modern interests, or even the ambition to find one. Neil lived this way contentedly, for the most part, until a girl named Helen arrived in town and enrolled in his school. Now, he's stranded in the middle of a hostile forest, with only his school gear and knowledge of the stone age to survive. But, he soon realizes there are worse things than lions, tigers, and bears to battle in these strange woodlands: sinister vegetation, mythological beasts, broods of ravenous insects of unnatural size, and an unusually sapient locality of equines that don't consider his presence a blessing. Neil has to overcome these obstacles, or perish trying.


Rated Teen for survival situations, violence, mild gore, and language.

This story was inspired by all my favorite survival books and movies.

The cover image was created by Tré (Tregallery.com).

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 147 )

Why is the teacher screaming like that? You are abusing bold a little too much I think.

Otherwise, interesting enough. I'll follow and see where it goes.

7616103

I can see your point. But, he isn't screaming. :twilightsmile: Mr. Robocher just has a very deep voice. That's why I chose to bold them. However, I see it did not have the effect I intended; so, I fixed it. :raritywink:

Great so far, hope to see more soon :twilightsmile:
Hope he get either some help soon or get some minor regenerative ability cuz infections can get bad fast...

Iiinnntttteerrreeessstttiiinnnggg...

0

'Twas good. I require more.

7749328

I agree: sapient sounds much better. :pinkiecrazy:

7749330

Alright. Done! It was unnecessary anyway.

To anyone that dislikes this story because the publish button is located next to the edit button, I hope you all get hugged by Skunk Ape! :rainbowlaugh:

I am currently writing part three and I may have to write this in a word doc, or something; as, right now, FiMficiton's writing system is shafting me hard with that damn publish button!

Sorry if anyone returned here thinking part three was ready. Or, even worse, read part three while I'm writing it! Naturally, it's quite unfinished. :applejackunsure: Be patient. It's not like I planned for this to happen.

7854849

So, the Equestrian explorer sent to observe humanity evolution into a higher state of being... accidentally forced a human to "devolve" himself into a primitive caveman in order to survive?

7854849 need more love I mean chapters I need more please

7855133

All will be answered in time. :raritywink:

Gosh, this is one heck of beginning! You've done a great job with Neil's character and his surroundings!

Oh, and:

Neil threw the cooked crawdad remains into the fire. "Evil spirits be gone!"

BEGONE THOT

He clinched the newfangled stone knife hard enough his hand shook with terrific pressure.

‘‘hard enough that his hand shook’’

Reopening them to meet the grim touch of the reaper

I see a pun, there.

She mentioned the unique type of psychological trauma the soldiers suffered fighting the War to End All Wars: she called it Shellshock. This disorder caused, among other things, paranoia, and sudden terror inducing hallucinations.

I may be confusing things here, but is that not also known as PTSD?

and the opinions on knowledge verses grace;

versus

There is a very good reason why ancient man was more likely to die of infections than most other fatal causes. The higher life expectancy of modern man is due in large part to antibiotics.

‘‘the ancient man’’
Also, relying on antibiotics can actually make things worse, in the long run.

Three pair of medical gloves,

pairs

His teeth cut the stick cleanly in two places, leaving a wooden fraction trapped inside the locked shut mouth.

Not sure if that should be ‘pieces’ or not.

Mere moments past, which seemed like hours.

passed

For, the forest may have spared his body, it did not spare his soul.

I think the first comma should not be there.

I finally completed part three! It took months, but it's here now.

A little over a year, to give an estimate.

8464288

Oohh, I missed those. Cool. Thanks!

Aaaand, fixed! :rainbowwild: :twilightsmile:

8464525
You use to many bold letters. Might wanna tone that down a bit.

8493174

Hmmm, no problem. Consider it toned.

This has definitely been one of the best chapters yet, really looking forward to how things will proceed.

Hurray!!
One night down!

The superstitions of men where cast into their mental Fire; and, Science saw to the ultimate demise of the old gods in the hearts of men, for Fire is illuminating and light its progeny. Where ever man looked for the gods, this light exposed not the scorn of an immortal, neither their games and childish grudges over the imperfect ephemeral things below them, nor their spotty logic, but only nature, only primordial law, only unfoldment. Men only saw the fleeting garment of lady Truth upon the solar winds, of which to this day he hazards to grasp. So, men buried flawed Olympus, trading the hateful gods, their bloodied temples, and their undeserved sacrifices, for the alembic, the telescope, and hard data. The bigotry and vague shadows of the past gave way to the unbiased rule of law. Science, once the child of men, became his god. No Greek god lives today. They are now but ashes in the Fire of the minds of men and dust under the feet of his new god. It seems, the martyred Titan had the final laugh over the mighty Jove; and, his Fire bearing children live on to forge their own destinies, limited only by the Fire of their minds.

Damn, that's poetic

with each time marking his body’s deeper decent into a total paralysis.

descend

he threw the weapon! and cussed after

Unnecessary exclamation point.

1: Acquire materials:

wood for tools and building,

stone for the same,

rope stuffs,

and find a clay resource.

2: Food:

review edible fauna book,

scout for such plants nearby,

build a fish trap,

obtain produce for farming,

and build a potable water reserve.

2: Expansion:

build a flood proof hut,

build furnace,

and make advanced tools.

Why are food and expansion both 2?

a spider twice his size emerged with lightening speed

he knew the insect's door was somewhere over there

Actually...

Feint hissing and creaking of chitinous joints

Faint

Sweet, a new chapter :pinkiehappy:

9174981
please remind Neil of water refraction ie put the spear into the water itself to aim

9176109

He’s just rusty. It’ll come back to him. :raritywink:

9176116
just a friendly tip also I would suggest that Luna bring Tia into the dream as proof of her being real

I do have to ask why it always has to be a highschool student in these fics? Is this the author portraying himself or something?
Why not a toddler or 90y old dude.

9462433

Two reasons off my head:

One: a younger protagonist appeals to a younger audience/reader base. They have a certain mindset and make decisions that are more relatable. Plus, it's nicer to see a character grow up into maturity than to watch them simply adjust.

Two (this was my personal reason): the accomplishments of said protagonist are far more impressive if they aren't even drinking age yet. What is more amazing, if a middle aged man kills a manitcore with stoneage skills he's honed over the decades, or a seventeen year old kid that's read about them?

As for the toddler arc... eh. You normally write yourself into a two-way box with that choice. Either you end up needing a parent character to care for the child until they grow up enough to do it themselves, like the story Willow, or, in my case, it ends up like Tarzan.

And the old man arc... who wants to see a guy break his hip in the wilderness? :rainbowlaugh:

I wanted something more from this story.

Hope this helps.

Valeo.

Before I read this, I must know: Why wouldn't the ponies welcome him with open arms?

Alright, another chapter 😃

9513198

If a space gorilla came into your back yard from the woods, covered in animal skins, and loaded with spears and other weapons, would you?

A human to them would be like that.

I made an error about the time during the fishing part. I fixed it.

Not all plants or animals are dimorphic. And one species of lizards are somehow all female.

The timberwolf felt room temperature, perhaps no warmer than 70 degrees.

Where do you live that 70 degrees is room temperature? Near an active volcano in the middle of summer?

Now for (potential) errors:

How may established avenues of science would be shattered by this creature?

many?

Neil would rather pee lightening than deal with such a mery sue of a creature.

mary?

but, it had set for this trout.

Was the comma to indicate a pause?

9514074
and reproduce without a mate, right?

9514125
Potatoes, ferns, mosses, and other types can and do reproduce asexually and there self pollinating plants. Most if not all fungi reproduce asexually. And plenty of reptiles and insects have been observed to reproduce through parthenogenesis, an asexual form of reproduction. I see no reason a possible plant/animal/fungle hybrid couldn't reproduce on it's own.

9514125
And Smurfs! In my head cannon they're some kind of animal/fungus symbiosis and the "magic" that Gargomel is after is more along the lines of halucinogen or other drug and less hocus pocus.

9514074

True. Certain species have unique ways of dealing with dimorphism. Some, like the earthworm, can change their sex at will. It’s really cool.

9514124

70 degrees Fahrenheit is room temperature to certain people.

9514124
that's a good temperature for my wife. My daughter and I prefer it a little cooler.

9515189

My mom is the same. Anything below 68 is freezing. :rainbowlaugh:

9515066
Yeah, I live in not america, so I use the metric system.

9516159
I kinda wish America would go with metric so we can stop having to convert. I'm not for conformity in all things, but metric is so much easier to convert within than American standard. And Japan has a lot to teach US in education for sure.

9462456
There is a story about old guy, the 14th century friar in Equestria :P

2 Chapter later Neil discover the Bronze Age.

Cockatrice is not a symbiote. It is a chimera.

9986087

Indeed it is. A manticore is also a chimera. But, I wonder, who's going to tell Neil this?

:pinkiehappy:

Nice! It's been so long since you last updated I thought the story had died or something. Good to see it didn't!

9986218
Yes. Sorry about the long wait. I can't write on this project as much and as frequently as I'd like to.

But, I will never abandon it.

Thanks for reading.

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