Pop
The curtains whooshed shut. The lights dimmed low. The 'open' sign on the front of Carousel Boutique flipped over. The deadbolt clicked shut and silence dominated the atmosphere long enough for Rarity to be certain she was alone.
With one final glance to each side, she absconded to her room. Again, the door closed with the click of a lock. Biting her lip, she looked over to the small, unassuming wooden box next to her bed. Her hooves trembled.
It's difficult, maybe impossible to explain our compulsions. The simplest acts posses the capacity to bring about an inexplicable yet overwhelming sense of satisfaction, even when others never understand it.
She levitated a well-worn metal key to the box's lock. It clicked open.
There it laid: her treasure, safely stored after arriving in an unremarkable box delivered by her unpredictably skilled mailmare just earlier today.
The bubble wrap sparkled with a light surpassing the finest gems. The very sight nearly destroyed Rarity's self control, as though she was under possession of a foreign, albeit familiar entity.
She delicately lifted the bubble mat up out of the box and onto the floor with her magic ever so carefully, so as not to defile the contents before the fun began.
She knelt down, took a deep breath, and slowly thrust her horn toward the first bubble, displacing the pocket of air as it prepared to be loudly punctured.
Pop.
* * *
Derpy's jaw dropped.
No! She couldn't breathe. Her heart pounded. Those poor, innocent bubbles!
Bubbles were her talent. Bubbles were her passion. Bubbles needed her help!
She dove down toward the skylight, rushing to the rescue. Derpy had a very backward idea of diving, though. She tucked in her wings, clenched her mouth, tongue out, threw her forelegs up high, and plummeted, demolition-rump first through the skylight of Carousel Boutique like a bowling ball from Pegasopolis.
* * *
Thunk.
Rarity looked up. Something round and grey pressed against her skylight, pressing six little bubbles against the glass.
The glass creaked. It cracked.
With a shower of glimmering shards, Derpy Hooves fell through her ceiling.
* * *
Derpy glared at the unicorn. With one eye, at least – the other eye glared more or less in the direction of the bed.
As soon as the last bits of glass clinked against the floor, a cold silence crept through the room. Rarity froze, bubble wrap still impaled on her horn. Neither pony moved. Neither of them so much as breathed. Slowly, like the falling of a giant tree in the distance, the bubble wrap slipped away from her horn and settled down to the floor.
Derpy glanced down at the bubbles, then back up at Rarity.
Rarity glanced down, and her eyes stayed locked on the translucent sheet.
“Step away from the bubbles.”
Rarity looked back up. She pursed her lips. “Ah, well, I wasn't trying to–”
“Step away from the bubbles.”
Rarity's quivering smile and soft, apologetic eyes fell away in an instant. Her face was an impervious slab of marble. Silence returned, broken only by a monolithic “No.”
Derpy's mouth turned ever so slightly downward. Her eyes narrowed.
A faint breeze from the broken skylight rustled through both ponies' manes.
Derpy took one long breath in, and let it out. She hated this moment. She hated the unbearable stillness and silence. She hated the tension rushing through her veins.
Rarity grit her teeth and crouched, lowering her horn once more. The bubbles on Derpy's flank could be popped as easily as the clear plastic ones on her floor. They had to be. She wasn't going to give up her pleasure, not now, not after all she'd done to earn it. It was hers, and hers alone.
Derpy knew this could only end one way, but it had to be tried. “Rarity, give me the bubbles.”
The corners of Rarity's mouth turned down, and her lips trembled. She blinked away the blur in her eyes and shook her mane out of her eyes. “They're mine.”
“They don't belong to anypony. You can't own bubbles!”
The dry sound of Rarity's hoof scraping across her floor was the only sound in the room. She brushed the sheet of bubbles underneath her bed.
“Rarity, please!”
“Make me.”
* * *
Thwack.
Twilight looked up from her reading to see a small, triangular hole in her library's wall. She glanced behind her. Another, identical, hole opened through a dense book, showing a glimmer of daylight all the way through the wall.
Thwack thwack thwack.
She took cover underneath her chair as three more holes opened up, randomly placed along her wall. Two more blasted through her bedroom above, each one buffeting her ears with the displaced air as they shot through. What were they?
Thwack.
That time, she spotted it. A little purple gemstone cutting through her walls, her furniture, and her books at unbelievable speed. She conjured a powerful shield spell around herself, thanking the Invisible Pink Goddess that Spike wasn't home.
There was a moment of silence. Twilight dared to look up.
Light filtered in through the holes, and dust kicked up by their passing slowly settled.
Twilight finally allowed herself to breathe. Now, what had caused those gems to–?
A crash resounded through the tree. The entire north wall bowed in and cracked. With another crash, Rarity flew through the wall in a cloud of sawdust and torn, fluttering pages.
Rarity slammed into the floor and laid still.
“Rarity? Rarity!” Twilight stared at her friend, stunned. “What... was there a–”
With a whoosh, Derpy Hooves shot into the library on her wings. She dove for Rarity's spot on the floor.
Rarity kicked upward, slamming her hoof into Derpy's jaw and sending the pegasus careening back up toward the far wall.
Derpy smashed through the other wall rump-first, creating another huge cloud of dust outside.
Before Twilight could even form another coherent thought, a shining row of gemstones shot through her library, following a gentle curve in one hole and out the other. They flew with incredible speed, enveloped in Rarity's light blue magical glow.
“Um...” Twilight's mouth hung open. “Rarity?”
* * *
Princess Celestia sighed, looking out over her kingdom and the little hamlet of Ponyville far down below her castle. She couldn't help but remember the days before she was royal, before she wore a crown and slept in a palace... days when she lived in a little thatched-roof town much like that one.
Luna stepped up beside her. Of course. She did every evening, and it would soon be time to lower the sun.
Still in her reminiscent mood, she leaned in close, side by side, and nuzzled her sister just a little.
Luna, though, just tensed up. Her neck twitched.
Celestia looked up at her sister, only to see her staring off in the distance, eyes squinting. Looking back down toward Ponyville herself, she wondered for a moment what Luna had sensed. Her sister was too tense to be just daydreaming about cottages and parents herself. What was it that she saw down there in the evening light's–
A huge flash glared out of Ponyville.
Celestia's jaw dropped as she watched the beginnings of a mushroom cloud build.
Both royal sisters watched, horrified, as the explosion spread, enveloping the whole town and dominating the sunset sky. Minutes passed as they watched.
With a rain of tiny little clicks, fragments of gemstones rained down across the courtyard, across all of Canterlot. Mere moments later, a rain of blueberry muffins followed.
Celestia winced. Not again.
The End
(Of Ponyville)
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Truly a great masterpiece.
Dude, I remember talking with ya about this at the con! Nice work! I hope you know imma write one of my own X3
4286594
Please do!
I'd like to see this become a thing.
4286565
One of the greatest of all time.
Is it wrong I'm aroused by this? Please tell me it's right.
4286634 I know, it's so bizarrely intriguing
4286754
Indeed. Me thinks a sequel is in order.
4286634
It's right.
It's very right.
*considers changing rating to 'mature'*
4286754
4286764 Ponyville did kind of blow up...
4286914
Oh right
waaaaaaaat?
4286990
Oh, come on now, this is hardly my most random of stories.
4287012
^.^
Perfect!
Well, that escalated quickly.
4287127
Bubbles are serious business.
Luna Having a Twitch, funny...
4287445
That was funny?
Oh, yeah, I mean... of course it was funny!
What just happened?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/12/3/171598__safe_rarity_photo_image+macro_anchorman_will+ferrell_that+escalated+quickly.png
4287490
Epic pony war because of bubbles. That's what happened.
I don't know what the fuck I just read, but I laughed.
4287456
Twas only thinking of the Tabby within her.
Thus, a new concept is born.
I think this was almost too random for me laugh about. Odd, because I usually have a pretty random mind. I think the story lost me when the ponies started to have the epic out of character duel. I thought they were going to have a silly little fight, not blow up Ponyville. Speaking of which, there wasn't an explanation given for that, which also added to not being funny, for me. It just became random for the sake of random, to me, at that point. From here is basically where you started to lose me:
I dunno. Just my thoughts, I guess. That's really the only way I can express why I wasn't satisfied with the story. Moving on without a vote.
I can't help but feel as though I've read part of this before.
Did you perchance put any of Twilight's scene in a blog post some time before?
...
4.bp.blogspot.com/-a7Ya3M92-n4/TVlEL4011PI/AAAAAAAAAO8/puLFpM2Z5PU/s1600/puke.jpg
lolhome.com/img_big/bubble-wrap.jpg
*Grins* Very nice. I love Luna's reaction.
A masterpiece, well done.
4287667
Perfect!
4287712
Heh, didn't she do Derpy too?
4287747
I take no credit for the concept; that was Tabitha's idea.
4287910
Well, it does have a [random] tag for a reason, eh?
You can't expect too much sense from a story based on a random comment at a VA panel from a con.
If you're (very) patient, though, I have a couple of true masterpieces in the works that should satisfy your cravings for things making sense and being seriously in character.
4288158
Twilight's scene is entirely new as of yesterday.
I did write the point up to where the skylight breaks in the collaboration panel of babscon, and it was read out loud there. It's possible you could have heard part of it if you were there.
4288485
My work here is done.
4288834
Bubble wrap brings out the best in all of us.
4289114
4289647
Thanks!
4289700
Right, sorry, must've just been me seeing the future in my dreams again.
Seriously, even I have no idea how much that happens and it's really starting to tick me off.
Choppy and rushed as all hell, but still entertaining.
Alright...sure..it was.....uhhm...yeah, alright...th-that's..yeah....yeah...yup.
This is adorably cute and sweet and... Woah, did they set of a muffin and gem megaspell? :D
Well... What?
Well, SOMEONE was at BABSCon!
4289700
Quite right. It just went wrong.
You'd think so much havoc wouldn't result from bubble wrap.
Of course, you'd be wrong. And thankfully so, as it's much more enjoyable this way.
4289737
Heh, premonition has downsides.
4290159
True, true.
4290607
Oh come on... I don't know why people are so confused by this. It's hardly my most random work.
4290824
They most certainly did. ^.^
4290950
Serious. Business.
4292022
4292827
How'd you guess?
4292416
If not for Twilight, I could have had an all-Tabitha cast
4292855
Havoc makes it more fun!
4293416
You know it!
What did the other VAs say?
4294519
Most said they wanted to fly.
There was one notable 'I'd eat a gemstone, then go back to bed.'
Peter New, of course, said 'buck apples'
4293416 But...but...I-I just wanna...actually, I can't deny..this actually made a ton of sense to me, really...it's just that....nevermind.
4294774
It's the 'but why would you write that' question, isn't it?
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/49044474.jpg
In the words of Krusty the Klown:
"Now that's comedy!"
4294864
^.^
Glad it's appreciated!
4294860 Well, no! I think...what WAS the question again? because after reading this story I need to re-consider things that I do in real life, not saying it's a horrible story by the way, I frigging loved it! ^.^
4295009
Other people were there?
4294972
Well, thanks! ^.^
And I'm glad I can write deep, intuitive fiction that brings people to question their own lives.
I can't have been the only one to have heard the iconic whistling tune of "The Good, The Bad, And The Bubbly" when the showdown began.
"And thus a new meme was born."
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Please forgive me for the unladylike swearword that will follow henceforth, but I believe it is necessary to explain the gravity of the lesson I learned today. That lesson being, don't fuck with Derpy's bubbles. Seriously, don't. Also, a good friend cleans up after herself when she uses her friend's domicile as a battlefield.
Regards.
-Rarity."