Chapter 10: Cider Season
Retirement Blues
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Chapter 10: Cider Season
“Are you looking forward to cider season?” Green Tea asked.
Gold Watch lifted his head and shifted his position on the sofa, where he was cuddling with his marefriend. “What’s cider season?”
“The Apple family sells fresh pressed cider for one week each October. It’s starting next weekend. I would have thought Colgate would have taken you there last year.”
“She didn’t. Though I do recall a week where Ponyville was eerily quiet.”
“That was probably it,” Green Tea said.
“I think I know what the problem is,” Gold Watch said. “Colgate would say apple cider is full of sugar, and it’s bad for your teeth.”
“Is your daughter really that careful with her teeth?”
“Ever since she decided to become a dentist,” Gold Watch said. “I’ve tried talking to her. You know, everything in moderation. Her mother tried talking to her. But she’s adamant about setting a good example.”
“Seems a bit strange.”
“Yeah. It’s not like she’s going to eat a cupcake, and the next day wake up with a mouth full of cavities.”
“And cider season is not just about the cider,” Green Tea said. “It’s all about Ponyville, mingling with your fellow ponies and coming together to celebrate the town’s founding family. That the cider is delicious is just an added bonus.”
Gold Watch gave Green Tea a quick peck on the lips. “Sounds like a date.”
“Oh, and stop by my shop on tomorrow’s morning patrol. I have a delivery to make, and would love the company.”
“A request for a police escort?” Gold Watch lifted his foreleg to his head, to tip the hat he wasn’t wearing. “Consider it done, ma’am.”
Gold Watch normally varied his patrols. Unlike the guardsponies who needed to check on the Everfree Forest every day, he was free to walk to any part of Ponyville. Without a schedule, and with stopping to converse with the locals, he couldn’t predict where in Ponyville he would be at a particular time.
The only thing he knew for sure was that the direct route from the police station to Green Tea’s shop took eight minutes.
Thus, at 11:08 the next morning, Gold Watch stepped into Green Tea’s shop. “Good to see you,” she said. “I’m just about ready.” She balanced two crates on her back.
“Who is the delivery for?” he asked.
“The Ponyville Tea Room at the Yellow Daisy Social Club. They’re my best customers.”
Gold Watch put on a mock frown. “I thought I was your best customer.”
“I’ll call you my handsomest customer.” She nuzzled him as she walked past.
Green Tea hung her “Be Back Soon” sign on her door, and the two ponies departed.
It was a rather short walk to Green Tea’s destination, a two-story cottage with a thatched roof and a balcony. The door on the lower level was the typical split design, the bottom wood and the top decorated with a horseshoe and a flower. The windows resembled the door in appearance, with the same picture on the shutters.
“This is... quaint,” Gold Watch said.
“Oh, I know it doesn’t look like much,” Green Tea said. “The building’s seen better days. But like I said, the Yellow Daisy Social Club is one of my best customers. And since it’s hard for them to make the trip to my shop, I’m happy to deliver.”
Gold Watch was about to ask what she meant, but once he stepped inside, it was clear. Not only was the building old, but so was everypony inside.
It had been a rather long time since Gold Watch had thought of anypony as old.
“Good morning to you, Green Tea,” an elderly mare said. “And who is this strapping young stallion?”
“I’m Gold Watch, ma’am. I’ve just signed on as Ponyville’s police chief.”
“Well, isn’t that nice. Why don’t you take that upstairs, dear?”
“Yes, Mrs. Kettle,” Green Tea said.
“Ma’am, have you had this building inspected recently?” Gold Watch asked.
“Back in spring, dear. I know it’s not much, but it’ll do.”
Gold Watch looked around. The number of cracks in the walls and ceiling made him nervous. He hoped the building hadn’t been damaged by Discord’s magic. He slowly walked up the stairs, continuing his inspection. The stairs creaked with each hooffall.
The upstairs was a small tea room, with a door open to the balcony. More elderly mares and stallions sat in worn but comfortable chairs, sipping tea, playing games, or dozing. Green Tea stocked the pantry with the tea and supplies she brought.
Gold Watch walked to the door and looked over the balcony. Two mares and a stallion were standing out there, enjoying the fine day. There was only the slightest of breezes. So when the balcony creaked, he took notice.
Gold Watch spotted a crack on the balcony, close to the wall. While he wasn’t trained in building inspection, it looked like a serious problem.
An elderly stallion, nearly bald, liver spots darkening his gray coat, started walking to the balcony. “Sir, please don’t walk onto the balcony,” Gold Watch said.
The stallion continued walking. “Sir?” Gold Watch said again. When the stallion didn’t respond, he shouted “Sir!”
The stallion turned his head, but it was too late. He was on the balcony, and the sound of cracking wood revealed that the balcony was about to collapse. Gold Watch reached out his foreleg to the stallion, but he reacted in the worst way possible, running to the edge of the balcony. All four ponies on the balcony did the same.
Gold Watch quickly assessed the situation. The balcony was going to collapse. His magic wasn’t strong enough to lift anypony, and he didn’t know any magic that could fix the balcony. He raced down the stairs, hoping he would be in time to warn the ponies on the street.
As he ran, he heard a voice from outside. “Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!”
Gold Watch was just in time to see the well-known rainbow-maned mare fly underneath the falling balcony, arresting its fall and bringing the four trapped ponies to the ground safely. Somehow, a crowd had formed, the disaster drawing everypony from the nearby streets. Gold Watch helped the ponies off the ruins of the balcony and asked how they were. They were shaken, but otherwise unhurt.
He then went inside. “Everypony, please evacuate the building,” he announced. “It is being closed in the name of public safety.” He had to repeat himself with two of the ponies, shouting to make himself understood.
He climbed the stairs and repeated his announcement. It didn’t wake two dozing ponies.
“Let me help you with the evacuation,” Green Tea said. “A lot of the ponies here are hard of hearing.”
“I noticed.”
Green Tea and Gold Watch helped the last ponies out of the building, and then Gold Watch worked on crowd control, urging the gathered ponies away from the dangerous building. It really did look like everypony was watching. Including one familiar face.
“Colgate?”
“Hi, Dad. Hi, Green Tea,” Colgate replied.
“Hello, dear,” Green Tea said.
“What are you doing here?” Gold Watch asked.
“I was going out for lunch, and heard something strange. So I came over, and what do you know? I was just in time to see the balcony collapse and Rainbow Dash swoop in.”
“You really do bear witness to a lot of the strange things going on in this town,” Gold Watch observed.
“I guess I can’t help being in the background,” Colgate said.
“Anyway, I’m asking everypony to step away from the building, just in case. Have a good lunch, Colgate.”
“And I hope you have a nice lunch with Green Tea,” Colgate said.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Green Tea told Gold Watch.
“I’ll need to alert the mayor first, but how about after? There’s a Hayburger nearby.”
“Such a romantic choice,” Green Tea replied with a laugh.
“Hayburger is fast. And we’re both working. Remember?”
Colgate headed back to her office following lunch. Spending so much time watching the near disaster meant she had to eat quickly. She hoped she wouldn’t face an upset stomach while dealing with her sure to be unpleasant appointment with the town’s stickler bureaucrat.
“I don’t even know why he comes in. It’s not like he ever smiles,” she muttered.
“Who?” Sharp Eye asked.
Colgate halted; she had nearly run into her fellow doctor in the hallway. “Sorry. Just thinking about my next patient.”
“If he’s that bad, try thinking of something more pleasant.” He paused, and then smiled. “Actually, do you have any days off soon?”
“Tomorrow,” she replied.
“Great! I have no appointments tomorrow. So I was thinking of going hiking,” he said. “I haven’t really been outside of Ponyville, you know? So, um, would you like to go with me?”
“Sure.”
“You would? Great! I mean, I’m looking forward to it.”
“When do you want to go?” Colgate asked.
“Yes. Time. Um, meet at the park on the west end of town at 9:00?”
“Sounds good. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too!”
Colgate stepped into her office, where a sour-faced earth pony stallion was inspecting the walls. “I’m sure you’ll find all the official documents posted, Red Tape,” she said.
“Yes. Everything currently appears to be in order,” Red Tape replied. “I was afraid you were going to be late, Doctor Colgate. I wouldn’t want to exceed my designated lunch break due to your tardiness.”
“Believe me, Red Tape, I will make sure your teeth are cleaned as quickly as possible.”
She was already looking forward to tomorrow’s hike.
Colgate arrived at the park at 9:00 the next morning. She packed light, carrying only a water bottle and some snacks in her saddlebags. Sharp Eye was already there, pacing nervously. He perked up when he saw her approach. “Hi!” he called, waving.
“Good morning,” she said. “Have you ever hiked before?”
“Not really. It’s just walking, right?”
“Let’s not go too far, just in case,” Colgate suggested. “Where are we going?”
“There’s really only two choices. The trail by the river, or the Whitetail Wood. I’d like to see the river.”
“There are two more choices,” Colgate noted. “The Everfree Forest, if you’re suicidal. Or Ghastly Gorge, if you’re suicidal and a pegasus.”
“I think I’ll stick with my first choice,” Sharp Eye said with a laugh. “Let’s go.”
They left the town behind. Soon, the only sounds were that of nature and their own hoofsteps. It was a beautiful morning, just warm enough, reminding Colgate that colder weather would soon come.
If she were alone, Colgate would have been content to enjoy the hike. Sharp Eye seemed to agree. But just spending time together wasn’t going to get her to know her office neighbor better. “So, you grew up in Canterlot, right?”
“Yes. I spent most of my life in the Redbridge neighborhood, in midtown. How about you?”
“Canterheart. Different side of town, different restaurants, but otherwise probably a lot like your experience.”
“I thought you went to Celestia’s School?”
“I did, but I still got to enjoy a normal foalhood. I spent weekends and breaks just like any filly. Playgrounds, parks, or just running around in the street.”
“With stuck-up nobles raising their muzzles in the air?” Sharp Eye recalled.
“Of course!”
Colgate and Sharp Eye continued to reminisce as they hiked up the trail. Soon, the dam came into view. They stopped at the edge of the stream, with a clear view of the structure. Behind the dam, the artificial lake was still.
“Do ponies come out to the reservoir in the summer?” Sharp Eye asked.
“I don’t know,” Colgate replied.
“Let’s take a break here.” Sharp Eye opened his saddlebags, and pulled out an old blanket. With his magic, he spread it on the grass.
“Oh! Is this a picnic now?”
“Yeah. Well. A picnic would have been nice. But I realized this morning that I didn’t have a basket.”
“I think we’ll be fine without one.”
Sharp Eye brought out a bouquet, which the two ponies snacked on while enjoying the weather and view. “I still can’t get over all this open space,” he said.
“I like living in a house, and not sharing walls with neighbors,” Colgate said.
“I like never feeling like I have to dress up.”
“Me too. What did you think of Ponyville when you first moved here?”
“I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. Everything seemed so different,” Sharp Eye said. “But it’s grown on me.”
“I felt the same way. And my father... I saw him go through the same process.” She sighed. “Ponyville is just special that way.”
“And in other ways, too. A lot of strange things in just one year.”
“Do you want to get going?” Colgate said.
“Sure.” He gathered up the blanket, but then paused. He dropped the blanket. “Hold on.”
“What is it?”
Sharp Eye took off his glasses and stared at the dam. “There’s a crack on the dam.”
Colgate couldn’t see anything, but if Sharp Eye saw something with his excellent distance vision, she was inclined to believe him. “At least it’s not leaking, right?”
Sharp Eye facehoofed. “You had to say that. It’s leaking now.”
“What do we do?” Colgate asked.
“We need to tell somepony, and soon. Can you teleport to town?”
Colgate shook her head. “I never could master it.”
“There’s somepony!” Sharp Eye pointed, and Colgate looked where he was pointing. Rainbow Dash was flying by, and she appeared to have noticed the crack in the dam.
“Go back to town! Get somepony!” Sharp Eye shouted. But he was too far away. Rainbow Dash tried plugging the leak by pressing her hoof over it. Then she pulled her hoof away, and the crack got worse. In an instant, the entire dam crumbled. The mare was forced away by the wall of water.
By the time Colgate and Sharp Eye recovered and started chasing after her, they saw the pegasus rescued by a pony, one completely covered in a black outfit. This pony, soon revealed to be a unicorn, unleashed a powerful spell, restoring the dam and redirecting the water.
“I think this is the end of our hike. Sorry, Sharp Eye,” Colgate said.
“What? Why?”
“We should get back to town and give a statement to the police about what happened here.”
“I never thought about that.”
“It comes with having a police officer for a father,” Colgate said. “Let’s get your blanket before we go.”
“Okay,” Sharp Eye said. They returned to their picnic site and picked up the dropped blanket. Sharp Eye pointed again.
They both saw the cloaked figure ahead of them, and then they saw her spread her wings and take flight.
“And that’s what happened,” Colgate said after recounting their story to her father.
The quill in Gold Watch’s magical aura stopped writing. He briefly reviewed his notes. “Let me confirm. Sharp Eye, you saw the crack in the dam?”
“Y-yes,” he replied.
”Did you see a glow, an aura, or other visual indication of magic?”
“No. No, I didn’t.”
Gold Watch nodded. “Now, this ‘Mysterious Mare-Do-Well’ figure. You both saw her use magic?”
“Yes,” Colgate replied.
“Are you sure it was her?”
“It was clearly a horn under that hat, and we both saw her magical aura,” Colgate confirmed.
“What color?”
Colgate and Sharp Eye looked at each other. “Violet?” Sharp Eye suggested.
“I think so,” Colgate said.
“And then, you saw the figure fly off under her own wingpower?” Gold Watch asked. “Again, I’ll ask if you’re sure.”
“Yes, we both saw it,” Colgate said.
Gold Watch turned his paper 180 degrees, allowing Colgate and Sharp Eye a better look at the sketch he had made of the scene. “You saw Mare-Do-Well here and here. About how far apart were these two spots?”
“Maybe 200 meters?” Sharp Eye said.
“And how long was it between your two sightings?”
“Thirty-eight seconds,” Colgate answered.
“If she were running in a straight line, she could have made it from point A to point B. But moving without you seeing her? It’s very unlikely.”
“Dad, why are you more concerned about Mare-Do-Well than the dam?”
“I haven’t seen any indication that the problem with the dam isn’t an accident. The mayor will probably tell me it was just another thing the town didn’t have the money to fix. But if it wasn’t an accident, then she has something to do with it. Besides, it’s a mystery. It’s a case for me to crack.”
“So what do you think of Mare-Do-Well?” Colgate asked.
“My gut tells me she’s harmless. But I’m glad you talked to me. You’ve confirmed that there’s more than one mare behind the mask.”
“That’s right. Even with the wings, they were obviously two different mares,” Sharp Eye said.
“How do you know?” Gold Watch said.
Sharp Eye paused. “They looked different,” he said quietly.
“In what way?” Gold Watch asked.
Sharp Eye buried his head in his hooves. “Please don’t make me say it,” he begged.
“I’m just interested in the facts, sir.” He took a sip from his coffee mug.
“The second mare had... wider hips. And a softer rump.”
It was a good thing Gold Watch possessed four decades of careful police training. It was the only way he could keep from spitting coffee across the desk. He set his coffee mug down. “That’s all I need,” he said. “Thanks, Colgate, for filing a report. You too, Sharp Eye. Now I have... paperwork to file.”
Sharp Eye stood up with remarkable alacrity and headed out the door. His embarrassment was quite evident in the red showing through his pale yellow coat.
Colgate followed him. “Wait!” she called. “I’m sorry!”
Sharp Eye paused. “Wait. You? But I was just talking to your father about other mares’ posteriors.”
“Don’t remind me.” Colgate shook her head. “Look, Sharp Eye. I’ve never had a stallion meeting my father go well. He just has a way of doing that.”
“Then do you want to....”
“Look. I know you can’t help the way your eyes work, any more than I can help watching you and counting that it took forty-seven seconds for your blush to finally fade. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
The next day, Gold Watch headed for Town Hall for his weekly meeting with the mayor. Lime Swirl greeted him, and the mayor opened her door at the exact time for their meeting. She was punctual, as long as you were meeting her.
He stepped into the office and looked around. After his experience with one dangerous building and hearing about the dam, he couldn’t help but check his surroundings. The cracks where the exterior wall met the roof looked troubling.
“I know, Gold Watch,” Mayor Mare said. “I’m trying to find money in the budget for repairs. The town really didn’t need a rampaging Ursa Minor and a spirit of chaos all in the same a twelve month period.”
“Do you have any update on that Yellow Daisy building?”
“The balcony is a lost cause, of course. Keen Eye finished his inspection, and found a structural defect in the roof that also needs fixing. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the construction crew that was building the new apartment building has volunteered to handle the repairs while that investigation is going on.”
“Just like I first thought, there’s no evidence of foul play,” Gold Watch stated. “It appears to be an equipment malfunction.”
“Keen Eye should have the site inspected and cleared for construction by the end of the week,” the mayor said.
Gold Watch nodded. “With the things going on this week, I’m going to suggest a gate be built on that road that leads to the Ghastly Gorge.”
Mayor Mare sighed. “If we had the budget, Gold Watch.”
“And the dam would be a pressing priority.”
“Keen Eye says the repairs are good. Better than good. The dam looks as good as the day it was built.”
When the mayor didn’t continue, Gold Watch finally spoke. “Okay. I have to ask. Do you know what is going on with this masked pony?”
“I don’t know, but trust me, when you’re a mayor with a tight budget, you’re not going to turn down somepony willing to help the town for free. Why? Is the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well breaking the law?”
“There’s no law against wearing a costume, and there’s certainly no law against helping other ponies,” Gold Watch said. “I’m just naturally suspicious of somepony hiding their identity. Mayor, are you sure this isn’t the work of Princess Celestia?”
“The Princess has been holding court every day this week, according to what the paper reported. And while she’s rumored to enjoy a prank or two, this really doesn’t sound like her. Why do you say that?”
“I’ve interviewed some of the witnesses, including my daughter. Multiple witnesses from the incident at the dam say she both used unicorn magic and flew away. That means either it’s an alicorn, or multiple ponies under the mask. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. And the latter worries me. Conspiracies always do.”
“Conspiracy? I think you’re overreacting,” Mayor Mare said.
“Conspiracy is the proper term, Madame Mayor. I’m not truly worried about somepony anonymously doing good. I just want to know why.”
Gold Watch stared at the bulletin board. He had a map of Ponyville and its surroundings, with blue pushpins marking sightings of the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well. Next to the map were lists of her various acts of heroism.
He heard the clank of armor as Red Sky crossed the room. “You’re trying to find this Mare-Do-Well?” the guard said.
“Yes. I’m trying to figure out what her plan is.”
“Why don’t you ask her? The town’s holding a parade in her honor, at 1:00 PM.”
Gold Watch facehoofed. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Ponyville had Mare-Do-Well Fever. Fillies wore Mare-Do-Well hats and cloaks. Townsponies carried signs with her picture. And they were all converging on a temporary stage by Town Hall. There was a paper banner behind it, with her picture. Mayor Mare stood at the podium, waiting for the crowd to finish gathering.
In the seven minutes before the official start of the festivities, Gold Watch searched the crowd. He spotted his daughter, and wasn’t particularly surprised that Sharp Eye didn’t join her. He noticed three of the Elements of Harmony, plus one of the trio of fillies about whom he had received warnings from just about everypony in town.
Mayor Mare banged her hooves on the podium. “Welcome to Ponyville’s first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city’s greatest hero, the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well!” With excellent timing, the cloaked figure broke through the banner and stood with the mayor on stage. The crowd cheered. Colgate was among those cheering most loudly, rearing up and pumping her hooves in the air.
Gold Watch stared at the figure on stage, trying to identify who it was. All he knew is that it wasn’t one of the ponies in the crowd. The design of the outfit made it hard to identify anything about the pony, not even her type. The hat and cloak were very well-designed, and could hide a horn or wings. In trying to find something identifying about the figure, he found himself looking at the shape of her body. She did look a bit plump.
He then saw Rainbow Dash move to challenge Mare-Do-Well. “The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, huh?” she said. “So what are you hiding? Let’s see how mysterious you are without that mask!” Rainbow Dash snapped at the mare, who stepped back.
Gold Watch moved to intervene, but then something caught his attention. Two of the ponies in the crowd slipped into the alleyway. He shadowed them, and saw two Mare-Do-Well costumes floating in a violet magical aura. The costumes soon covered Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, and they dashed away.
“Guess there won’t be a parade after all,” Gold Watch said.
After a brief chase involving three Mare-Do-Well figures and one Rainbow Dash, the pegasus finally managed to corner one of them, revealing Pinkie Pie. The others revealed themselves, and Gold Watch saw all six of the Elements of Harmony gathered together.
Once they finished sharing their life lesson, and headed their separate ways, Gold Watch trotted after Twilight Sparkle. “Miss Twilight Sparkle, a word if I may?”
“Oh, good afternoon, Chief!” she replied.
“Excellent job fixing the dam. May I ask how you came to be there?”
“Pinkie Pie said there was going to be a real doozy by the dam,” Twilight Sparkle replied.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, right. You probably haven’t heard of Pinkie Sense. Think of it as a powerful version of Starswirl the Bearded’s precognition spell, one that, somehow, an earth pony can use without conscious thought.”
“I’ve heard ponies talking about Pinkie Sense. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it.”
“I recommend you don’t think about it,” Twilight Sparkle said. “For that way lies only madness. And I know from firsthoof experience.”
“All right,” Gold Watch said. He looked at Twilight Sparkle. “Now, do you remember what Princess Celestia asked of me?”
Twilight Sparkle bowed her head. “Yes.”
“Let’s talk. Shall we go to your library?”
Gold Watch sat at the table in Twilight Sparkle’s kitchen. The librarian pulled a kettle, a teapot, and a box of tea leaves from the cupboard. “Do you want anything?” she asked.
“Do you have coffee?”
“No, but I can get some.” Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed, and before Gold Watch could protest, Twilight Sparkle teleported away. Two minutes later, she returned with a bag of coffee beans.
“Green Tea says hi,” Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.
“I was going to say that tea was fine,” Gold Watch said. “But thank you.” He paused. “Do you have a coffeemaker?”
“Darn it!” Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. “Wait. I have something that could work.” She left the kitchen and headed downstairs. Gold Watch observed her enter the basement. A minute later, she returned with a collection of laboratory glassware in her magical aura. “I have a mortar and pestle for grinding, and the funnel and filter paper should work, right?”
“If it means I get coffee, it’s worth a try.”
While Twilight Sparkle’s tea seeped, she assembled a coffeemaker fit for a mad scientist. It looked wrong, but what was coming out of the funnel was honest-to-goodness coffee.
Once both ponies had their hot beverage of choice, Gold Watch spoke. “Do you think that was the best way to teach Rainbow Dash about the problems with having a big ego?”
“Well, it sounded like a good way to teach her a lesson.”
“Did you try talking to her? ‘Say, Rainbow Dash, it’s great that you’re helping ponies, but if you’re doing it to get praise, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.’”
“Well, no.”
“So how did this come about?” he asked.
“I was talking about it with the girls, and we were worried about her drive to be known as a hero. I did say that we were already heroes. And Pinkie Pie suggested, what if we were superheroes? It kind of exploded from there.”
“I’ve heard Pinkie Pie can be something of a prankster,” Gold Watch said.
“Oh, she is.”
“Then let me tell you about the Great Prank War of 1451.”
Twilight Sparkle looked at him curiously. “The what?”
“You won’t find it in any history book,” Gold Watch started. “It’s the story of a rookie cop in the Canterlot P.D. and the veteran who thought he needed to lighten up. The rookie came to the decision that he wanted to put his special talent to use helping other ponies. It’s a story every cop tells. But this cop treated it very seriously. Meanwhile, the veteran thought he needed to open up and have a little fun if they were ever to come together as a department.
“It started small; glued papers, hot sauce in the doughnuts, itching powder under the collar. One day, the rookie was fed up, and decided to retaliate. The veteran wasn’t happy to be the one being pranked. So they kept trying to outdo each other, catching the rest of the department in their wake. Even though it was all in fun, it ended up leaving bad feelings, and the rookie left.
“So what I’m saying, Twilight Sparkle, that if you decide to ‘show up’ Rainbow Dash today, she may decide to return the favor one day. This summer, right before your incident, all you wanted was for somepony to understand your worries. This week, you needed Rainbow Dash to understand your worries. And you didn’t help her understand.”
Twilight Sparkle stared at her teacup. “I never thought of it that way.” She looked at Gold Watch. “Do you regret what you did to that rookie?”
“What? No, it wasn’t me,” he said. Twilight Sparkle looked at Gold Watch crossly. “No really. Honest to Celestia, it wasn’t me doing the pranking. I was one of the ponies caught in the crossfire. Almost lost my coffee mug.”
“Okay. I might one day ask Applejack to verify, but I’ll believe you.”
Gold Watch looked at Twilight Sparkle. He recalled his conversation with Princess Celestia, and thought about how this librarian might someday be more. “Actually, Twilight Sparkle, there are far worse things than prank wars that I’ve seen as a cop. You wanted to send Rainbow Dash a message. Well, rival crime groups send each other messages. And the results aren’t pleasant.”
Twilight Sparkle gulped. “Go ahead.”
Gold Watch recounted the fight between two rival gangs over the trade in illicit magical crystals. He spared no details as he described six escalating incidents where these gangs sent each other’s messages.
Twilight Sparkle just shook her head. “You had to deal with that?”
“I dealt with the aftermath, after ponies were already hurt, or dead. The point is, ponies can be bad. So when you have as great a friendship as you have with your friends, treasure it. Don’t jeopardize it.”
“How did you deal with it?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“A whole lot of coffee.” He looked at the flask, still half full. “Want some?”
“I’ve never had coffee before.”
Gold Watch blinked. “Really?”
“Well, Princess Celestia had a no coffee for small fillies policy. So I just got used to drinking tea.”
Gold Watch levitated over a clean cup and poured the coffee into it. “Give it a try.”
Twilight Sparkle sniffed the dark liquid, and gave it a taste. She then took a larger swig. “This is good!”
“I’m glad you agree,” Gold Watch said. “And it’s better at keeping you awake than tea.”
“Honest?”
“Absolutely.”
Gold Watch smiled. It looked like he found a convert.
“Hi, Colgate,” Sharp Eye said as they met in the hallway of their office building.
“Hi, Sharp Eye.”
“Since hiking didn’t work out, do you want to go get cider this weekend?”
“Oh. I, ah, I’m not that into cider.”
Sharp Eye turned away. “Okay. If that’s how you feel....”
“No, wait! Sharp Eye!” she said. He turned around. “I don’t mean that. I just don’t like sweet foods.”
“But everypony I’ve talked to said Sweet Apple Acres cider is the best in the world! I really wanted to try it this year.”
“I’ve heard it’s good, too.”
“Why don’t you come, just for the party?” Sharp Eye suggested. “Pinkie Pie ran into me this morning. Literally. Then she told me about this big cider party she’s planned, that she wants to get everypony to come and party and then camp out.”
“That’s still not my favorite thing.”
“Actually, it’s not my thing either,” Sharp Eye said. “But the weather is scheduled to be perfectly clear that night. Do you like stargazing?”
“A little. I mean, I haven’t done it in years.”
“Then how about this. We show up long enough to say hi to Pinkie Pie. We slip away and talk under the stars. We camp out for the night. And then we get cider in the morning. And if you want to brush your teeth right after, I’ll understand.”
Sharp Eye held his breath. Finally, Colgate responded. “Okay. I’ll give it a try.”
“Great! Let’s meet at the site, around 8:00 PM.”
Colgate arrived outside Sweet Apple Acres at 8:08 PM Friday night, and levitated to the ground the load she was carrying. The tent and bedroll were borrowed from her father. While she had factored in the time it would take her to pick up the goods, and even her slower speed while carrying them, she hadn’t considered the time necessary to converse with his father’s guest.
Although she tried to get away from her father and Green Tea without any damage, she had let it slip with whom she was camping. She got that look from her father and a knowing smile from Green Tea. Still, they declined her offer to join them that night. “We’ll be there bright and early tomorrow,” her father had said.
Colgate unpacked her tent. She lit her horn and read the instructions. It was going to be hard, but if she concentrated and was careful splitting her magic, she should be able to handle the assembly. She finally managed the task, though it was hard with the struggling and cursing next to her.
She lifted the edge of the mess of canvas next to her. “Need some help, Sharp Eye?”
“This shouldn’t be that hard,” he muttered.
“Do you have the instruction manual?”
Sharp Eye looked at her. “I didn’t think I would need it.”
“Let me help.” Colgate held up the canvas long enough for Sharp Eye to set the poles in place. Once that was handled, the rest turned out to be easy, even without instructions.
Their tents set up, Colgate and Sharp Eye surveyed the scene. At this point, they saw nopony. But there was the sound of music and laughter from the first tent, which looked like Pinkie Pie’s.
“I’m going to stop in and say hi. Maybe grab a snack,” Sharp Eye said.
“Go ahead,” Colgate replied.
Sharp Eye returned three minutes later with a plate of cookies, another plate with celery and carrot sticks, and an apple-themed party hat on his head. “For you,” he said, passing over the plate of vegetables.
Colgate blinked. “There’s a full Pinkie Pie party going on in that tent?”
“Her tent is surprisingly roomy,” Sharp Eye said. “It kind of hurts to think about it.”
“Where do you want to go?” Colgate asked.
“That hill looks good.”
Sharp Eye spread a blanket on the top of the small hill. He lay on his back and stretched out, placing his forelegs behind his head. Finally, he levitated his glasses off his muzzle and placed them on the ground next to him.
“Come. Sit down,” Sharp Eye told Colgate.
Colgate lay on the other side of the blanket and imitated his pose. Just like the weather schedule said, the sky was perfectly clear. The air was pleasantly crisp, and the moon cast a faint light on the countryside.
“I always loved stargazing,” Sharp Eye said.
“Why?”
“Because I could take off my glasses. Under the night sky, I wasn’t the colt with the soda bottle glasses. I was just another pony, looking to the heavens.”
“Having glasses was bad?”
“Yeah. It doesn’t take much for one foal to make fun of another. But I tell my patients that there are more important things in life, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to see things clearly.”
“It’s hard for me. Nopony wants to go to the dentist, especially foals, and it’s hard to convince them of the importance of oral hygiene.”
“That’s because oral hygiene sounds like the least fun thing in the world.”
“Only if you’ve never experienced a root canal.”
Sharp Eye gazed at the sky for a while. “Did you ever study astronomy, Colgate?”
“Only a little. The normal class in school, and my mother tried to get me to appreciate it. ‘The heavens are the domain of the unicorns’, and all that. But the heavens never changed. Well, at least back then.”
“They changed a little, but you had to be watching them constantly. It was most noticeable on the first day of summer. My stargazing friends and I would stay up all night, staring at the sky while waiting for Princess Celestia to raise the sun. It was strange. We always felt sad after that night, but we didn’t know why.”
“Princess Celestia was letting her regret color the night sky?” Colgate said.
“That’s what it was. Now, Princess Luna is again in charge of the night sky. And every night is something new to discover,” Sharp Eye said.
“When I look, all I see the familiar constellations.”
“There’s always more. Try opening yourself to the heavens.”
Colgate looked to the sky, eyes unfocused, and touched the core of her unicorn magic. It was not a form of magic that Colgate had used since finishing at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, but she remembered how it worked. She felt the heavens, the guidance of the moon, the emotions of each star. “I feel... excitement.”
“I feel it too. Plus, a bit of nervousness,” Sharp Eye said.
“Are you sure that’s not you?”
“Oh, it’s definitely me. But I feel it in the stars, too.”
Colgate concentrated, and she felt it. Anticipation, or nervousness. “Is this what Princess Luna is feeling right now?”
“Perhaps, but it’s likely only a hint of her full emotions.”
A breeze blew by, ruffling the hairs of Colgate’s coat. She shivered. She pulled out her own blanket and draped it over her form. She sighed contentedly and watched the sky.
Another breeze came. Colgate looked over at Sharp Eye. “Are you cold?”
“I’m okay.”
“You’re shivering.” Colgate lifted her blanket and spread it over the two of them.
There the two ponies stayed, staring at the night sky. Sharp Eye seemed more nervous, and was very careful to keep his hooves on his side of the blanket. Colgate thought about the week she had. Those were some wild days!
But this evening? This is nice, she thought.
Green Tea heard a knock on the door to her residence. She opened it eagerly. “Good morning, Gold Watch,” she said, looking at him curiously.
“What’s with that look?” he asked.
“Oh, I’m just so used to seeing you in uniform now.”
“I’m still a cop, even without the uniform.” He pulled out his badge. “But I’m looking forward to a quiet morning and some cider. If it’s half as good as their apples, I know I’m going to like it.”
“Trust me, it’s better,” Green Tea said.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Just one minute,” she replied. Green Tea went into her kitchen, and returned with packed saddlebags. “Okay.”
With Celestia’s sun just above the horizon, Gold Watch and Green Tea walked through the quiet streets of Ponyville. They reached the end of a lengthy line of ponies long before even seeing the gate to Sweet Apple Acres.
“Is it normally like this?” Gold Watch asked.
Green Tea shook her head. “Normally, the line at dawn isn’t long at all. Sorry, Gold Watch, they will probably run out of cider.” She pulled out a magic-powered kettle from her saddlebags. “Fortunately, I brought tea.”
“Need a charge?”
“Yes, please.”
Gold Watch used his magic to power the kettle’s crystal. It glowed, and started heating the water inside. “How long until it’s ready?”
“Ten minutes,” Green Tea replied.
“I’m going to walk down the line, and find Colgate.”
Green Tea nuzzled him. “Okay, sweetie.”
To say that everypony in Ponyville was in line was not far from the truth. Almost everypony had a tent or bedroll resting next to them, answering the question why the line was so long at dawn. Gold Watch tried to name as many ponies as he could as he walked past them.
There were Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. He nodded to them; Rainbow Dash looked a little upset.
Lime Swirl. “Good morning,” Gold Watch called.
Red Sky. “Out of your armor for once?”
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. “Good day.”
Golden Harvest and Golden Grain. “There must be something wrong in Ponyville. You’re in the same place today!”
“It’s not like anypony’s at market today,” Golden Harvest replied.
Gold Watch was surprised to see both of the Cakes. “Where are the little ones?” he asked.
“We made sure to get a foalsitter for the first day of cider season,” Cup Cake replied. “It’s costing us the normal rate, plus two mugs of cider.”
“There’s no way we’re going to miss out on cider,” Carrot Cake said. “I spent the night here just so my sweetums could have this delicious cider.”
“Oh, dearie, I know you just wanted a quiet night’s sleep.”
“Maybe that, too.”
Gold Watch reached the gate. At the front of the line was Pinkie Pie, and surprisingly, Sharp Eye and Colgate were fourth and fifth in line. “Did you two have a good night together?” he said.
“It was nice. We talked, looked at the stars, and then retired to our separate tents,” Colgate replied, with an extra emphasis on the second-to-last word.
“Enjoy your cider. It looks like I’m too far back in line to get some.”
“Sorry, Dad. You’d best get back to your marefriend. I’ll talk to you later.”
An hour later, Applejack announced that Cider Season was officially open. Pinkie Pie pulled out two sacks of bits, and ended up walking away with the contents of an entire barrel.
Colgate dropped her two bits into the waiting chest, and before she could request to only get a smaller mug, the ever-efficient Apples pressed a mug, filled to the brim, to her hoof.
Sharp Eye and Colgate stepped to the side. He took a sip. “This is incredible!” he exclaimed. He looked at Colgate. “Aren’t you going to try it?”
Colgate stared at her sugary beverage. She hesitantly took a sip.
“Well? Do you like it?” Sharp Eye asked.
“It’s sweet, so of course it tastes good.”
“But do you like it?”
Colgate sighed. “I haven’t had apple juice since I was a filly. From what I remember of it, this cider is phenomenally better.” She looked at her mug, still half full. “But no matter how good it is, I don’t want to drink this whole mug.”
“Why not share the rest with your father?”
“That’s a good idea,” Colgate said. “So, um, goodbye for now?”
“Yeah. Uh, Colgate, I had fun last night, and I’d like to do it again, if you’re interested.” He extended a foreleg.
“I did too, and yes, let’s get together again.” Colgate looked at Sharp Eye, and instead of shaking his hoof, gave him a hug. “Have a good day!”
Sharp Eye stood there, smiling, but unable to move.
Colgate walked down the line until he found his father. He and Green Tea were seated, sipping from teacups.
“Hi, Dad,” Colgate said. “Do you want the rest of my cider?”
“Sure.” He looked to his companion. “Green Tea?”
“You go ahead and have it. You’ve never had the cider before, and I get it every year.”
Gold Watch nodded and took the mug. He sipped the cider, and once he tasted it, he finished off the mug instantly.
“I take it you like it?” Colgate said.
“It was incredible! I thought everypony was crazy for lining up like this, but now that I’ve tasted the cider, I see I was wrong.”
“Well, I’m glad you liked it. Now, if you’ll excuse me....”
Colgate retreated over the hill. “Is she going home?” Green Tea asked.
“Knowing my daughter, she slipped away to brush her teeth.”
“Really?”
“She takes her dental hygiene very seriously.”
Colgate returned three minutes later, her teeth shiny and white. “Now, Dad, since I know you want to know, I decided that, maybe, it’s worth seeing if there could be something between me and Sharp Eye.”
Gold Watch smiled. “That’s wonderful, dear.”
“But I’m not ready to use the c-word yet. And I definitely don’t want to hear any talk from you about marriage.” Colgate looked at the couple in front of her. “Unless you’re talking about your own, that is.”
“That’s fair, Colgate,” Gold Watch said. He turned to Green Tea; they shared a knowing look.
“I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. I’m going to hang around up front.”
“Have a good morning, Colgate!” Green Tea said.
The murmurs reached the back of the line. The Apples were out of cider. Shortly thereafter, somepony shouted “You always run out!”
“Sorry,” Gold Watch said to Green Tea.
“Like I said, I can come back tomorrow, and sharing tea with you made this time worth it.”
“Next time, I’ll ask you to bring coffee.”
Green Tea laughed. “Shall we head home?”
Gold Watch’s ear twitched. He turned in the direction of the crowd. “I’m going to stay here. The crowd doesn’t sound happy.”
“You think there’s going to be trouble?”
“Probably not, but the conditions are right for trouble.”
“Then I’ll stay, too,” Green Tea said. “I want to see my police chief at work.”
“Hopefully, I won’t have to pull out my badge,” Gold Watch stated.
They headed to the gate of Sweet Apple Acres in time to catch the tail end of the debate. “What do you think?” Green Tea asked.
“I can’t say for sure without knowing how they make cider,” Gold Watch said. “But if it has to be fresh, and they don’t want to charge more, then there’s going to be a shortage. If I had to guess, they consider first come, first served as the most honest way to handle it.”
The argument was interrupted by the arrival of a strange contraption. It resembled a stubby locomotive engine, but on wheels, and it rolled until it bumped into the fence surrounding Sweet Apple Acres. It was enough to attract the attention of the crowd. But Gold Watch was focused on the two unicorn stallions riding the engine.
“What is it?” Green Tea said.
“These two look like con artists,” Gold Watch said.
“Are you going to arrest them?”
“They haven’t done anything. I need something more than my gut.”
Gold Watch committed the appearance of the two unicorns to memory. They were almost certainly brothers. Calling themselves traveling salesponies, apple cutie marks, a likely aptitude for magical machinery. He searched his memory of wanted criminals, but couldn’t think of any that matched.
He felt his hoof tapping. Now the two of them were singing, and it was a catchy tune. He resisted the urge to dance, and facehoofed once he saw Colgate caught up in the music.
At the end of it all, they tried to sell their machine to the Apples. They refused, loudly. That was followed by the brothers saying something quietly to the Apples.
“What do you think that was?” Green Tea asked.
“I’m going to find out,” Gold Watch replied.
Once the brothers departed, riding their machine, and the crowd dispersed, Gold Watch walked up to Applejack. “Good day, Miss Applejack. I’m Chief Gold Watch.” He flashed his badge. “May I have a word?”
“Well, howdy, Mr. Police Chief!” Applejack said, shaking his hoof enthusiastically. “Sure, I can spare a moment.”
Gold Watch tried to shake some feeling back into his foreleg. “What did the two of them say to you?”
“They said they’d run us out of business. But don’t you worry none. They’re just full of hot air.”
“Yes. There’s no crime in competing, but there are plenty of crimes somepony could do while competing. If you have any questions, or you see something suspicious, the door to the police station is always open.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, sir. Now, if you don’t mind, we’ve got some more cider to make!”
“Have a good day.”
Gold Watch headed back to Green Tea. “What happened?” she asked.
“Nothing yet. But I’m going to investigate.” He gave her a kiss. “Sorry, but duty calls.”
Gold Watch’s first stop was the police station. He wrote up a description of the two suspicious individuals calling themselves Flim and Flam, and fired it off to the police station in Canterlot. An hour later, he received a response; there were no known criminals resembling these two possible con artists.
Up on his bulletin board went all the information he knew. What didn’t make sense to him is why two unicorns were so interested in cider. Perhaps it was, as the saying went, what their cutie marks were telling them.
He would have to wait to see their next move.
The next day, Gold Watch was there as he saw their next move. He could only watch, as nothing they did was illegal. And when it was done, he headed back to town, and stopped at Green Tea’s shop.
“What’s wrong, Gold Watch? You have this twitch above your eyes.”
“I hate seeing ponies act stupidly!” he screamed.
“Now, now. Why don’t you have a cup of tea and talk about it?” Green Tea said. “I have a nice apple cinnamon herbal tea brewed.”
“Apples are the reason why I have a headache right now,” Gold Watch said. He recounted the bet he saw Flim and Flam make with the Apples.
“So they goaded them into betting the farm?” Green Tea asked.
“Sounds like it. They talked about the exclusive right to sell cider. I don’t know if that’s a law, but it probably is, and if it is, then they both know about it.”
“That’s terrible. I always liked the Apple family.”
“If you want to support them, they’re holding a contest for who can make the most cider tomorrow. I’ll be there, making sure nothing else goes wrong.”
The next morning, ponies weren’t lined up to buy cider. They instead gathered to watch cider being made. Gold Watch arrived in the company of Green Tea. The police chief, out of uniform, surveyed the crowd. He noticed many of the same ponies in the crowd, including Colgate, Sharp Eye, and the Goldens. Even the mayor was there, standing next to a giant hourglass with another stallion.
“Is that stallion a relative of yours?” Green Tea asked.
Gold Watch looked at the stallion, who possessed a cutie mark much like his daughter’s. “He’s almost certainly a distant relative, but no, I don’t know him.”
“Can they really drive the Apples out of business?”
“I spend much of yesterday reading law books, and the answer is yes. But there are so many loopholes, and ways to fight it,” he replied. “The only way a bet like this could work for Flim and Flam is if the Apples honestly abide by it.”
“Well, the family’s always been known for honesty,” Green Tea observed. “And thanks to the Elements of Harmony, now all of Equestria knows that.”
“Hmm. You might be on to something, Green Tea. It would explain why they’re here, out of all the apple orchards in Equestria.”
Gold Watch and Green Tea moved to the front of the crowd, to get a better view. They watched the competition, which was not going well for the Apples.
Twilight Sparkle noticed the same thing, and asked if honorary family members could participate. Soon, the Apples had five more workers, and they finally began to outperform the brothers’ machine.
“That was smart of her,” Gold Watch said.
“What do you mean?” Green Tea asked.
“She saw that something needed to be done, and she found a way to phrase it reasonably,” Gold Watch replied. “Of course, it wouldn’t have worked if they weren’t so overconfident. A lot of con artists fall to their own arrogance.”
Unfortunately for the Apples, the brothers noticed they were losing ground. Their machine wasn’t operating at full speed, and once it was powered up, they were again outperforming the Apples. Gold Watch could see them getting nervous, which in his experience meant they would be more likely to make a mistake.
Once the last grain fell from the hourglass, it was clear that Flim and Flam had won. The Apples looked like they accepted their fate. But then the brothers opened their barrels of cider. And nopony wanted any of it. The brothers, bested, retreated on their strange engine.
“It looks like the exclusive right to sell something nopony wants to buy isn’t valuable after all,” Green Tea said. “Wait. Does that mean the Apples can’t sell cider right now?”
“There was only an oral contract, and Flim and Flam voluntarily rescinded it. So everything’s back to normal.”
“Good. How about some cider?”
“An excellent idea.”
All of Ponyville celebrated the surplus of cider with an impromptu party. Even Colgate was convinced to have another half mug. Once the party started to die down, Gold Watch sought out Applejack. “May I offer a word of advice?”
“Is it ‘don’t do that’?” Applejack said.
“I was going to use a few of the more colorful words I picked up on the force, but yes, that’s my advice.”
“I know it looks bad, but we had our own angle. The southern orchard was infested by fruit bats, which those two no-good ponies would have known, if they had ever done some honest work in an orchard. Figured they couldn’t get enough apples to make cider.”
“Looks like you underestimated their machine.”
“Eeyup. A little. But I was right. Ponyville wants quality cider.”
“And they want more of it. You think your honorary family members might help out next year?”
“I know one of them will help out, if we offer her a barrel of cider.”
“I hope you’ll do it.” He pointed to Green Tea. “Do you really want to tell that sweet mare that you’re out of cider?”
“I hate to tell anypony that,” Applejack said. “Cider making’s a business, but it’s also very personal. You know what I’m saying?”
Gold Watch thought about Green Tea and her shop. He thought about his daughter and her office. And he thought about his own long career. “I sure do, ma’am.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
1,332,035 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ahh, Mare-Do-Well, the one single episode of the show that I actively dislike.
Hahaha. Apparently Fluttershy has a bit of junk in her trunk.
That's very fair of Colgate.
Decent enough conversation between Gold Watch and Twilight, but man, it so doesn't help how much I dislike the rest of the mane six in this episode aside from Dash.
This is an excellent idea for what was going on in Pinkie's tent.
Oooo, stargazing and a nice semi-date between Colgate and Sharp Eye. The "opening up to the heavens" thing is an interesting idea. Makes for a nice connection to Luna, but extrapolating it to before her banishment I could see it developing into a bit of an unpleasant feedback loop between ponies not liking the night, Luna being unhappy about it, and that feeling emanating from the night sky scaring ponies even more.
There we go.
Interesting idea with the Apples having a bit of an angle of their own in the bet, just one that didn't exactly work out as planned.
After watching the episode a few times in preparation for writing this chapter, I'm wondering how Rainbow Dash could be so dense. Her friends were practically saying, "We're Mare-Do-Well!"
Or at least more than Twilight Sparkle.
A whole slew of balloons did escape when she opened it in the morning.
But still a bit awkward.
I'd like to think they weren't plain stupid. Everypony's stupid in that episode. The Apples for making the bet, the mayor for not stopping them, the brothers for saying yes to honorary family members, Twilight Sparkle for not dispelling the magic on their machine, the brothers for not finding a more amenable business partner, the townsfolk for enduring the enormous opportunity cost of waiting in line several days running, the Apples for not raising prices, other competitors for not offering a slightly lower quality, but more plentiful cider option....
i feel this is a mis opprotunity for pinkie to learn a lesson. considering the fact you made it so while twilight planed the MDW incident pinkie was the one who thought of the idea, or the fact she bought a barrel full of cider and proceeded to rub it in