Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Horizon and FanOfMostEverything's "All Bark, No Bite" (GroaningGreyAgony's "If I Was Wooden Matter...?")

Author's Note:

[Comedy]

This chapter is written by Horizon (parts 1/3) and FanOfMostEverything (part 2). It is a continuation of GroaningGreyAgony's If I Was Wooden Matter...? (364 words, [Comedy]).

IF I WAS WOODEN MATTER...? SPOILERS: Fluttershy asks Twilight Sparkle if it would make a difference if she was made of wood. Twilight says it wouldn't change anything, while idly flipping through a book made of paper. Fluttershy returns to her secret plant-people meeting in the Everfree, and has the trees and timberwolves declare war on Equestria.

Thirty-six hours later:

"Sis?" Apple Bloom asked, setting her apple cart aside for a moment and wiping her brow. "Don't the Everfree seem a little closer than usual?"

Applejack squinted and frowned. "Not really. … Maybe. I guess? Stop slackin' and get back to haulin' apples so I got some empty carts to buck into."

"I'm serious, sis! Lookit that big ugly tree. I almost tripped over its root in the path to the clubhouse this mornin'. I don't remember it bein' so close to the road." She shuffled her hooves. "It's kind of a safety hazard."

Applejack sighed, set down her apple baskets, and trotted toward the house. "I'll get the axe."

---

Meanwhile...

Pinkie beamed from a makeshift drum set cobbled together from cookware and her rimshot kit. "You mean I can really play as much as I want as long as I want?"

Granny Smith nodded. "Durn tootin'! Them timberwolves are more riled up than a mare with a hornet in 'er saddle, an' Ah can't spend all day bangin' pots. Ah figger an hour-long drum solo oughta put the fear o' Celestia into them right proper."

"No, not the fear of Celestia." Pinkie narrowed her eyes, her smile taking on a sinister tone. "The fear of pink." She clacked her drumsticks together. "One, two, three!"

---

Elsewhere ...

Rainbow Dash sat up with a gasp.

Heart hammering to the frantic, ghostly beat pounding in her ears, she unclenched her fingers from her awesome lightning-bolt sheets, rolled over the side of the mattress and onto her feet, and stumbled into the dark and dingy bathroom. She stared into the mirror in silence, in the dim glow of the LEDs from her electric toothbrush, until the visions of ponies faded from behind her eyes. Her heartbeat gradually slowed and receded from her hearing.

And yet pony Pinkie Pie's final shout of "ONE-HOUR DRUM SOLO!" continued to worm through the deepest recesses of her brain.

She shuddered.

Not for the last time, she swore that she would stop going to band practice and then eating ghost-pepper curry before bed.

Comments

[Misplaced Mage]

And yet pony Pinkie Pie's final shout of "ONE-HOUR DRUM SOLO!" continued to worm through the deepest recesses of her brain.

[CrystalWaters]

Short and to the point.
Much like Rainbow Dash.

Lovely little excerpt this.

[horizon]

9262938
Thank you!