Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Since You Asked (horizon's "Twilight's Choice")

Author's Note:

[Comedy] [I Am Not Even Sorry]

This is a continuation of "Twilight's Choice" (also in this collection), because Titanium Dragon said he was disappointed that that story was not a feghoot.

Challenge accepted.

TWILIGHT'S CHOICE SPOILERS: Oh, come on, you just read it last chapter.

The two princesses were summoning up their power to re-route the river when a Royal Guard dashed up to them. "Your Highnesses!" he said. "Help! It's terrible! We need you!"

Luna raised an eyebrow. "A Royal Guardspony asking us for help? What has this world come to?"

"Shush, sister," Celestia said mildly. "You know that their entire job is to stand around looking handsome. Now then, what's the problem?"

"There's a river dragon in the business district!" the guard wailed.

"Yes," Luna said, "that is not terribly surprising, given the circumstances. However, we are shifting the river back to its traditional banks, so if you will wait but a moment --"

"He's not in the river! He's sitting on one of the rooftops, fishing!"

Luna and Celestia exchanged a glance.

"Wait," Celestia said. "Let me make sure I heard that right. He's a river dragon, but he's not actually in the river?"

"Yes! The businessmares are panicking, the property owner is disconsolate, and --"

"Is he purple in color?" Luna interrupted. "Large pompadour? Short bristly whiskers and a goatee?"

The guard blinked. "Actually, yes."

"Mark," Celestia and Luna chorused.

"... Huh?"

Luna stared at the guard. "You have not heard the legends of Mark the Dragon? Even I, in my few years returned from the moon, have come to know of this beast."

"I just transferred from overseas last week. Who's Mark?"

"The world's only non-aquatic river dragon," Celestia said. "He made quite a stir in the biological sciences when he was discovered recently."

"He lives in the Everfree Forest, along the Destiny River, with his brother Steven," Luna said. "Except on holidays, when he travels."

"And now he's in Canterlot!" Celestia said, turning to Luna. "Do you know what this means?"

"Indeed I do."

"We can't divert the river from the business district now," Celestia said. Luna nodded.

The guard's jaw dropped. "What?! Why?"

"Simple economics," Luna said. "After all, a famous land Mark is a tourist Magnet."

Comments

[Georg]

Oh. The one that caught awry.

[Misplaced Mage]

::THWAP::

[ClockworkMage]

I'm not sure what hurt more, the pun or falling out of my chair. Good thing I'm so durable.

[kaitou42]

Ow

[Majin Syeekoh]

That was awful.

[Lurks-no-More]

Now this is a feghoot.

[PresentPerfect]

no, no, no

TD is a terrible person.

[horizon]

6355252
Well, we knew that.

[Super Trampoline]

This was a gleefully awkward set up. Like, you made no attempt to even disguise how much of a setup this was.

[horizon]

6860437

[Titanium Dragon]

6355252
I may be a terrible person, but I'm a wonderful dragon.

You might even say I'm a great wyrm.