Prod her head.
Thump thump thump.
The noise was deafening, alarming, and terrifying poor Rarity as she opened her eyes only for an alien roof to grace her sight. Rather than the refined decor she was used, there were wooden planks. The air was cool and crisp, unlike her stagnant and collected Carousel Boutique atmosphere. Her soft and malleable bed was replaced by conventional strings and straw. Adding to the current situational mess, the top of her peripherals were assaulted by the brim of a hat.
Everything. Was. Wrong.
Her cognitive abilities soon returned as the shock wore off, and she began to feel a warm presence on her right foreleg. The warm mass of fur and muscle pinned her foreleg down as it lay at her side, occasionally moving and wiggling. Rarity began to sweat as it shifted, resting a weight on her chest.
Rarity tried to speak, but only a, “A-A-A,” would come out. Her words left unsaid, the noise still carried out and roused the sleeping mass of pony on top of her.
“R-R-argh blergh,” the mare muttered as she opened her eyes. She blinked a few, regaining consciousness, and lifted her head up to smirk at Rarity. “Mornin’, sugarcube. Didn’t know you were an early riser.”
“I’m not, merely alert at what appears to be the worst. Possible. Thing.” Rarity sighed as she unconsciously tipped the Stetson hat she wore. She brushed her freed foreleg against the bedsheet. “Please don’t tell me—”
“You bet every jewel you got we did!” Applejack smirked, turning Rarity a bright shade of red. “Aw, shucks. Now my diamond’s turned into a ruby!” Applejack sighed and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling and reflecting. “Ah, diamonds. I don’t think I could ever have enough after last night!”
“Hmph!” Rarity turned her nose up, rolling on her side away from Applejack. “Last night never happened.” She scrunched her muzzle, beating away the memories of the night before, only to turn the shade of a beet.
Applejack chuckled and rested a hoof on Rarity’s back, giving it a gentle rub. “Ya know, you weren’t so bad on that table. It was a good thing we went to bed before things got a little more, er, heated.”
“Heated? Heated!?” Rarity snapped, flipping over to glare at Applejack. “Not only do you rob me of something precious, you dare have the nerve to belittle me so?”
“Belittle? I didn’t mean any offense, sugarcube,” Applejack said, placing a hoof on Rarity’s forehead and ruffling the locks of mane sticking out. “You were quite, well, satisfying last night. Now, let’s be honest here, I’m the one with the endurance here, sugarcube. I was kinda rough dealing with you last night, but I’m glad I did. Even if I did get a little more of your booty than you liked, you have to admit you enjoyed it.”
Rarity sealed her lips, pondering. Perhaps… perhaps I was too quick to judge. “Maybe… I do admit, while my finesse and charm did wonders last night, your skill certainly stole the show. I’m a little envious of your hoofwork, darling. It certainly left me… breathless.” Rarity gasped the last word, her breathe stolen as Applejack’s muzzle came within an inch of her’s. The two breathed in unison, Applejack’s hot breath only driving Rarity’s world to spin.
“Attagirl,” Applejack cooed as she brushed a hoof against Rarity’s cheek. “I’m glad you came around. Last night, you nearly screamed in pleasure when we got that river going. You know you had a good time.”
Rarity nodded. “Yes, indeed I did. You were riding me for much of it as well, especially when it came to dualization of endurance. “
“Don’t cut yourself short, sugarcube,” Applejack purred. “Your fancy magic came in handy when I nearly flopped last night. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, everything would have been ruined.”
The memory flickered in Rarity’s mind, tinting her cheeks—her face had cooled down quite considerably—a rosy pink. She smiled, a fond remembrance soothing her elated heart.
“Oh yes, I was quick on hooves for that matter. You were just a little too eager, darling. You must learn to pace yourself.”
Applejack frowned, shifting her position in the bed. “Er, sugarcube, I’ve been wondering… You’re always talking about pacing, taking things slow. All that fancy stuff. Why were you so worried about, ya know-” she gestured with a hoof “-that?”
Rather than respond immediately, Rarity shoved her face into her hooves and sobbed. Her body rocked as a surge of guilt coursed through her. “I can’t believe it! I promise I would wait and remain innocent until I was sure I found the one!” Rarity’s sobs turned into tiny sniffs as she raised her shining eyes to Applejack’s. “The moment I laid my eyes on you, learned about you, began to know you, was the moment I had sealed my fate. Especially when I learned about your little… secret.”
Applejack chuckled. “Aw, shucks, just like last night. You thought I was all flushed, but I turned out straight in the end. And then in our second go, I found it to be the perfect pair. Admit it, you loved it. And that’s our little secret, sugarcube.”
“I did.” Rarity sighed as she leaned forward and embraced Applejack. “I wish I hadn’t revealed my heart so early; you wouldn’t have taken advantage so.”
“Well, it’s not my fault I was already looking for three diamonds,” Applejack whispered in Rarity’s ear. “And now we’re here, the sun is rising and Equestria waking up, in bed together. I’d say it went better than any of us expected.”
“Speaking of straight, which you mentioned, that reminds me,” Rarity said as she began tracing circles on Applejack’s chest. “Yours was quite...large. I’ve never seen a straight, other than royalty, that large before. You must have been born lucky, darling.”
Applejack swallowed an oncoming, jolly laugh and settled with nuzzle her partner. “I appreciate the sentiment. You had me going all night, don’t you forget now.” She paused, a thought entering her mind. “At least I lent you my hat as consolation, especially after I got your full—”
“Applejack? Rarity? Whatcha doin’ in bed together?” a young voice inquired from the open door. Rarity and Applejack whipped their heads around to stare at the young foal standing before them. Apple Bloom trotted forward, stopping a foot away from the bed, and cocked her head. “Were you doin’ the thing again?”
It was Applejack’s turn to sweat. She scrunched her muzzle and nodded, slowly. “I-if you don’t tell Granny or Big Macintosh, I’ll let you off chores for the weekend.”
“Okay!” Apple Bloom cheered and zipped out of the room, leaving the two mares to hyperventilate together in peace.
“S-she knows?” Rarity gasped, resisting the urge to strangle her partner. “What if everypony finds out? I’ll be ruined! Forever!”
“Oh calm down, Rarity!” Applejack rolled her eyes. “It’s just a stupid gambling addiction.”
Rarity bowed her head as she lifted the accursed deck of cards from Applejack’s bedstand, knocking over a dozen or so chips and collateral jewels. “I suppose… but it is still rather embarrassing, don’t you think? Texas Holdem isn’t the most honorable game there is.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Applejack waved her off. “But what happened, happened. You’re always welcome to stay for the Apple Poker Night Slumber Party, Rarity.”
“Thanks, darling.” Rarity beamed. Slowly, her smile sunk as a thought permeated her mind. “Darling… something just occurred to me. I know this is seemingly random, but would you like to have wild, uncontrolled coitus with your toy phallus?”
“Oh boy, would I!”
And then they had sex.
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Hawt
I'm dead. I am literally dead. A dead body is typing this. I'm dead and this story killed me.
4268475 What?
I wrote it for fun, just for pun. In no way do I claim that this is a work of art.
Aaaaaand that happened.
This was silly. I like silly.
That was pretty much what I expected.
Well. It's cute and silly enough to get an upvote, anyway.
Dammit, Flint. There are no words.
It's pretty clear that you had lot of fun writing this
And I had a heck lot of fun reading it
Oh Flint
you know how to make me laugh.
Cute ending there.
That was beautiful.
That was fun.
…I might have to use that sometime.
I. But. Then they.....*walks away*
4268540
Eeyup.
Well shit.... I wasn't expecting that.
4269023 I take it the joke wasn't appreciated?
4268914 <This, all of it. All of my this. Every last drop of my this. That is all.
~Grand Panda
You TROLLED ME!!!
That was silly, well done.
I KNEW it wasn't sex from the very beginning, but DAT ENDING!
You have slain me, sir!
Godammit Flinty.
4269075
Nah, it's only mock disapproval.
I don't even
Saw it coming and I still laughed my butt off. Nice.
Obvious, yet like all your stories fun as all hell!
AAAHHHH hahahaha, Well played.
Haha, I knew from the first bits of dialogue that it'd be a long slew of double entendres. You still got me at the end, though!
i.imgur.com/xeWgy.png
Very Yes
th05.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2012/020/b/a/i_came__by_iltdk-d4mzpb2.png
I knew something was up, but you still had be going for a while there. Well done there, Flint.
So much hate. So much... anger! HATE. YOU. Loved the story, though.
I love "What hapened last night?" stories! And wouldn't you know it, it's coming from Flint. Today just keeps getting better and better!
4270303
How in the hay do we keep running into each other?
I started catching on right about when the "flop" was mentioned.
4270408 I'm being followed...
Spike's heartbroken.
4270441
Shhh, no tears now...
4270458 Who's to say?
Oh God. They're talking about a poker game, aren't they?
Oh my God, they are! They're are so talking about poker!
I mean, there is no way - no way - this is not about poker.
...
...
I GODDAMMNED KNEEEEW IIIIIT!
4270626 What gave it away?
4270681
I dunno? All of it?
....and then they had sex .....wow lol
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/146/b/5/bahahahahaaa__rainbow_dash_laugh_by_misteralex-d515muw.gif
I love it when a poker game escalates. A pair in the room, one flush and the other gave a straight. A wild card appears so the pair folds. It leaves so now the pair ups the ante. Aces all around!
But seriously, if they where having a poker slumber party how did they both end up in bed together?
4271317
You just answered your own question, mate. Also, not the first time they shared a bed at a sleepover.
4271396
But I don't think they would want to share a bed, Rarity complains about it being "all wrong" (and not comfy, to witch she is not used to) and is obviously uncomfortable with.the fact that AJ won a bunch of times. So if she was going into bed after the poker match, with fake "no hurt feelings", the part further down the story wouldn't make sense... Unless, the ending joke patched up the beginning because they had sexxy tiems before they slept, and it was just never mentioned. Headcannon applied.
tl;dr
Rarity is jelly so sex.
4271435
Again, you just answered your own question.
4271445
...Touché, Flint. Touché.